Holy crap guys.
It's fucking Evander Nash.

Shit. I just love this story. I swear he's my favorite OC of all. Hell, I'm really excited for you guys to read this chapter.

Oh Evander Nash...
You're just... you're just ridiculous.
Let me stop... I don't even know what to call it, but I'll just stop.

Protocol:
word count: 5,914

[I do not own any KHR characters]
I claim ALL concepts in this chapter.

Also, give Kyoasaurus and Ausumist major props for being my betas.

=Advice/Comments are loved=

_Capitano_

Eyes shifting skeptically, I watch the guys on both sides of me give me incredulous stares as I let out a loud, covered yawn and then do the doodle hip-shake while holding onto my boxers outside of my pants. I shrug my shoulders. What? My boxers were being retarded and making him uncomfortable. I can't pay attention to Mr. Pompadour if my doodle is uncomfortable.

But only they spare glances—they're brave either way. I'm not about to let myself be bitten for not paying attention. So my eyes keep that "1000 Kilometer Stare" while they shiftily check out the two rows of guys in front of me that seem way more enthralled by the Vice's words than I am. Though it is nice that we're on the roof doing this little 'meeting,' it's like six o' clock in the fucking morning… Who the fuck has a meeting that early.

It doesn't help that I was facebook chatting with some of my girls until two—skype sex with Trish till four.

Her and those damn costumes…

Ah, I want to medicate Nurse Trish again… Give her my shot of Penicillin.

My body straightens as I hear a pair of shoes clicking behind us. Looking straight ahead to Kusakabe while he talks about this Disciplinary Committee, Hibari calmly walks behind us. Reading some thick ass book titled Namimori Code of Conduct, I can only hear the steps when they're right behind me. I'm not dumb enough to be caught doing my usual shit when he's walking around with those damn sticks. After seeing how he beat up Sawada and Sid Vicious, I'd be a fucking dill to get on his bad side.

"Who yawned?" I can feel his stare on me.

The guys on both sides of me are looking at me, and I'm looking left. I cross my arms and shake my head.

I'm not sure if it will work, but if there are two guys looking left and one is shaking his head while looking, then the bloke on the right might look guilty. I used to do this shit all the time at the military school Dad sent me to a while back. Hopefully the Boss falls for it because I really don't want to be smacked by any metal stick. Well, I might try it if Hibari was a girl and there was a safety word established. Anything goes as long as there is a safety word.

Mr. Left got a stick smack. A gust of wind pushes against my back and I almost step forward to the beating. But I keep my glare as the kid wails like a sook*. "It wasn't me!"

"Leave."

The guy leaves after scowling at me. The wind pushes hard against me as I snort and look straight ahead. Dumbass.

The lesson he learned? I will do anything to not take the blame for any thing.

His Nibs* Hibari walks away, and I realize that Kusakabe never stopped for the scene. I just missed something—I know it. Karma always tries to work against me, but karma doesn't realize I'm lucky. While keeping my face forward I look to my right. Boss Hibari is at the end of the row. Damn. I want to know what time it is, but the time can be checked later. I know I'll get caught if I check it.

Maybe I should've joined the boxing club.

Kusakabe clears his throat and says, "And that's everything that you really need to know about the Disciplinary Committee. Now as your test to see if you are capable of upholding the discipline of Namimori you must all sing our alma mater."

And then Hibari interjects, "Those who dare to blight the integrity of our alma mater can expect to be bitten."

Shit.

What the fuck is an alma mater?

I look and see that Hibari is standing by Kusakabe, well, more like within a three-meter radius between him and us anyways. He glares at the lot of us while Kusakabe signals us to start whatever the hell he was just talking about. I keep a confident stare but start feeling a little nervous.

Hibari isn't a girl, the metal stick, no safety word.

Fuck me.

No, not you Hibari.

And don't you get any ideas either Mr. Pomp.

"The green that trails Namimori, not large, not small, Nami is best. Always unchanging, vigorous and gallant. Let's sing together Namimori middle school…"

I scrunch my face… what the fuck are these guys singing… Backstreet Boys?

As much as I don't want to sing such a lame song, or even sing in general, Hibari is starting to circle around. Shit, I hate singing… I fucking suck at signing. You won't even catch my ass hum, but I'll go against my personal no singing rule for the sake of not being smacked by a man.

"Shining like the morning dew, the Namimori. Ordinary and usual, Nami is best. Always fighting, vigorous and gallant. Let's smile together Namimori middle school…"

My singing is more like me just carrying the tune with occasional cut-offs where everyone else cuts off. Hibari is coming—dammit! Silently marching around us with his jacket slung over his shoulders, he has both of those sticks in his hands, but one hand is raised while a finger sways to the beat of the song.

He's enjoying this? What a fruit loop.

The Boss is getting closer and Kusakabe is watching us from the front. This is bad. I don't know this fucking song… I need to pull out some more of that Evander Nash amazingness out of my ass. What to do… I glance to the approaching Boss that's secretly built like a brick shit house. Okay, don't cuss at all. Sorry guy next to me:

I grab his shirt and yell, "You should be ashamed of yourself! You try to join the Disciplinary Committee without even knowing our… ALMA MATER!"

Shit… I had forgotten what Mr. Pomp called it.

Thwack!

I groan and grab the back of my head.

Now he's glaring at me. "Cease, or be bitten."

Still gingerly rubbing my crown, I mutter, "You got it Boss."

I stand forward and hear the kid get bitten while people keep singing. I'm just waiting for the last part where they repeat stuff. Here:

"Vigorous and gallant. Let's s—swalk together. Namimori middle school…"

I keep looking forward and catch Hibari glaring at me from my peripheral. Fuck, he heard me mess up. Shit, shit. Metal stick, no safety…

Kusakabe declares, "Welcome to the Disciplinary Committee."

Guys around me are sighing and smiling, but I keep standing straight. He's still glaring at me. Dammit, who ever thought 'At Ease' was the perfect way to describe the way I'm standing right now is a fucking dipshit. At ease is not easy; but I probably shouldn't be locking my knees either. I think I remember hearing something about that being bad… Shit, he's still staring at me.

Keep looking forward, but focus on the stick.

That fucking stick… shit.

He walks away, and I let out a deep breath while muttering, "Shit. I need a bj, or a nap."

All of us new 'Prefects' as Kusakabe called us, start leaving, but the Pomp stops us. "Hold on. There is one more thing we need to go over before you are dismissed."

I look back and cover my questioning yawn. "Hah?"

"So please come back and stand in your flanks so I can go over the 'seven and seven' of the Disciplinary Committee."

"Seven and Seven?"

Looking around, I see no one questioning it, so I do. Two sevens in one title make my mind immediately think about alcohol. Seagram's and 7-up is good stuff… many good parties in my life have started with those.

Sexy parties. Black and white parties. Costume parties. Toga parties. Damn, I'm missing out.

He looks at me and nods. "Yes Nash-san." Holy shit. He already remembers my name. Well, it is pretty catchy. "The Seven rules of the Disciplinary Committee, and the Seven Privileges of the Disciplinary Committee."

Perks? FUCK YEAH!

I can't help but grin. Seven rules? No problem. Seven perks make it worth it.

"First we will go over the rules. One—You must wear your band at all times on your left arm. It is your PRIDE! Those caught not wearing it will be punished."

Band or bite… got it. It looks cool anyways, so I can do that.

"Two—despite the established dress code for Namimori Junior High, all Prefects must wear black slacks, black dress shoes, and their black jackets as their uniform. The jacket is the most important piece; it's your GUTS! Your Prefect band must be pinned on the left sleeve. Caught out of dress code, and you will receive punishment."

This rules sucks. I don't mind the slacks and dress shoes, but the jacket too? My guts? Bullshit—my guts are the lengths I'll go to get some. And I'm always hot temperature wise. So I guess I'll wear it like the Boss does. To hell with it, I'm not having a damn stroke for their asses.

"Three—when ordered, you must go out on your patrols. These can occur at any time of the day, any day of the week. Anyone caught shirking on his patrols will receive punishment."

Patrols any time, any day? Lameeee.

"Four—you must be able to recite Namimori's alma mater at any moment in time."

Dammit. I'm going to have to learn that song.

"Five—you are allowed to administer any form of punishment on any male party that is interfering with the discipline of our Namimori, but you CANNOT administer any form of violent punishment on women and children. Those who do are not men; you have no pride or guts. YOU WILL BE PUNISHED SEVERLY! Also keep in mind that there is the option of escorting the delinquents to the reception room for decided punishment. Hibari will—"

Hibari interjects, "I'll bite them to death."

Sweet. All the men I find will go to him. I'll take care of the girls; any touch I put on a girl will not be violent. Ladies get pash* treatment from me. And you can bet your ass I won't touch any ankle biters*, so he'll get those too.

"Six—though there are certain privileges with being a member of the Disciplinary Committee, abuse of these privileges is NOT allowed. If you catch any Disciplinary Committee Member breaking any of the seven rules of the Disciplinary Committee or abusing any of their privileges, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMINISTER DISCIPLINE. Apprehend the member and escort them to the reception room, where Hibari will deal punishment accordingly."

Ha, let's see if they can catch me.

"And Seven—You are not allowed to group. Group, and you will be bitten."

Hmmm, they made this a pretty cutthroat club. No one can really trust each other here. Oh well, it's not like I'm planning on being friends with any of the grunts. I'm aiming for the Gamma position. Like secretary, or something of similar and menial in nature that still has some say-so.

I figure Hibari is the alpha, which gets the most perks but has to be a sparkling image for everyone else. I don't sparkle. Then Kusakabe is the beta, which is a cool position if you like a lot of perks and responsibilities. But Beta is also the Alpha's bitch—I'm no one's bitch. Now Gamma? That's a good spot. Third place is good by me. No one expects shit of third place because they're third place. I will have plenty of perks with half the responsibilities that the beta has. I'll be the Gamma and breeze by. This sounds like a great plan already.

Maybe I can get out of wearing the jacket.

"Now for the privileges. First—As a member of the Disciplinary Committee you are allowed to wear your band in and out of school."

I look down and shake my head. Are you fucking kidding me?

"Two—All Committee Members are allowed two free snacks from the school store daily. That doesn't mean you go abstain from using your allotments for three days and then cash out for four days worth of snacks. Two snacks a day; you don't use them, you lose them."

I cover the disappointed expression on my face. This is some shonky* shit. I'm ready to resign.I tap the kid's shoulder next to me. "Do you know how to quit this club?"

He raises a brow to me. "What?"

"Three—You are allowed to be on the school's premises at all hours as members of the Disciplinary Committee. And because your patrolling hours will be a various times of the day, Prefects are allowed to miss any amount of class for the sake of patrolling"

I shake my head. "Hold on. I'm on the fence."

The guy looks even more confused.

"Four—When it comes down to it, members of the Disciplinary Committee have higher authority over anyone on matters of discipline."

I rub my chin while the guy's glance keeps darting between Kusakabe and myself. The way I see it, I can spin this authority to my advantage.

"Five—As members, you are also allowed to interrupt classes while patrolling."

Hmmm… I break into some room holding a ruler and say all badass-like, 'I need to do a skirt and blouse check…'

Perfect.

"Six—For prefects that show promise and outstanding discipline, there is room for promotion."

I shake my head and shoo him off with a wave of my hand. "Never mind."

He turns around in a dubious fashion.

"And Seven—as members of this committee, you are allowed entry into any room of the school."

"Oh hell yeah!" Everyone looks at me… I just scratch my head and say, "I'm going to find all those delinquents now!" I'll just not mention all the sex that will happen in these rooms too. Everyone looks back to Kusakabe.

He nods at me. "It seems as if we got ourselves some good Prefects this year. Well, you've been informed of everything you need to know. You are dismissed."

Everyone starts to shuffle to the roof's exit while Hibari ambles over to the giant AC system of the school. What the hell is he doing over there? A swift, four-meter jump that he made look easier than shit, and he lays himself down on the caged metal fans that are sucking the hot air out of the school. I tilt my head. Those things are nosier than a rooster at dawn, why the fuck would any one want to sleep on that thing? Hmm, I guess the noise might drown out the thoughts and the rumble of the spinning fans might be relaxing—

Someone grabs my shoulder. "Nash-san."

I look to my right. "Ah, Kusakabe-sempai? Or should I just say -san."

"Which ever is fine."

"Cool. What's up?"

"You look as if you're pretty excited to be here."

I smile and nod. "I like to think discipline is my forte."

He pulls a sprig of grass out of his pocket, sliding it in the corner of his mouth like a toothpick. "Well that's good to hear. We'll see how things fare over the semester then. Go ahead and get out of here."

I nod. "Will do." I start turning to leave, but figure I'll ask him while I'm here. "Kusakabe-san, you know of any good parks around here?"

Half awake on a bench, my eyes stay calmly shut as the sounds of people walking around, kids playing, dogs panting, and rustling trees drown me out. I wish there was only the trees and swaying grass that I can hear faintly, but one can't stress the particulars. I take a deep breath. I miss the Gafa*. I miss the silence outside of Sydney, sleeping out in the middle of nowhere. The park isn't outside. It's just the closest thing to escape I can find around here.

Seeing how I can still feel that burn of the sun under this big shady tree I found, I can tell it's about noon. Is there anything I need to do? When's the last time I even ate? Damn, I have to go to the grocer…

How the hell am I supposed to buy groceries when I can't even read what they are?

My friends down under would probably laugh at me and say that we should just buy a bunch of random shit and test it out. I can easily follow idiocy (strength in numbers), but I'm not so willing alone. No one can take you to the hospital if you're alone.

"Come here little squirrel, Haru wants to pet you~."

What the fuck? I open one eye and turn to the voice.

In front of me in a different uniform than mine is a girl crouching on the edge of the sidewalk. She has her hand cupped towards a small squirrel all wrong… Dad used to take me out to trap stuff when I was little—when I thought stuff like that was fun. These days I don't really even like animals… Well, I don't like liking animals, but they seem to like me just fine.

I hate it.

If there is any kind of stray animal, I'm the guy they follow. It sucks.

"Little squirrel~! I really want to hold you~."

I open my other eye and hold my laugh in while watching this girl try to fetch squirrels. I wonder what school she goes to? Wearing a buttery colored sweater vest over a thin white shirt, brown skirt and loafers, and dark blue bow at her collar make me wonder how many schools there are around here. More girls to meet isn't a bad thing at all.

I notice that she refers to herself in third person as she tries to creep closer to the squirrel. The squirrel scurries back and she does too. She frowns. She's very cute but very, very weird. And squirrels? What the hell?

I yawn and sit myself up. Then my hands rub my face roughly before meeting each other at my chin. They drop from my face, still rubbing against each other, and I stand. She's shaking whatever she has in her hands and scaring the squirrel with the sound. I crouch down next to her. "You're scaring it."

She jumps and shuffles away from me with a frown. "Stay away from me."

I tilt my head, questioning, "Uhh, can I ask why?"

"You could be some foreign pervert trying to kidnapping and sell me."

I stare at her in shock. What the fuck was that? Pervert? I hate to be called that—I really hate being called a pervert. That implies I used force and coercion. I do none of the sort. But she doesn't know, so no drama*; I shake my head and reply, "Hmm, that would require a lot of… creepy thoughts. I have none of those. Plus, if I was going to kidnap you do you think I would crouch down and talk to you first?"

How do I know this?

All that softcore porn with Trish last night… those crazy story lines they come up with are fucking with me.

She looks around suspiciously before saying, "That is true…"

I look at her with a smug smirk and she goes back to her squirrel fetching. Still not doing a good job. I look at the squirrel and rustle my finger in the grass to get the squirrels attention, just like dad taught me to do with bandicoots. He looks at me. The 'Haru' girl looks at me too. I relax my arm and raise it up as if I'm lightly grabbing something in a pincher grip (like a piece of string). I calmly pull it down to the ground and let it go while making a shooing sound. He scampers towards me a couple little paces. I keep doing it the downward pulling motion until the little thing is a few centimeters from me. Then I leave my hand really close to the ground and open it for the squirrel to look inside, just like I was taught. You wait for them to put their little paws on your palm, and then you grab em' and throw em' as far as you can!

I won't throw it this time, despite how tempting it sounds.

I look at the girl and whisper, "Come here, but slow and chill."

Her brown eyes are sparkling as she nods and sneaks closer to me. Her hair smells good. Her tied up brown hair lightly brushes on my chin as the girl looks over my lap to see the squirrel that's ready for me to launch. I fight the urge to throw the squirrel and the urge to bite her rosy cheek. She looks at me with those wide eyes. "Hahi, he likes you~."

The girl tries to give the squirrel an acorn. He scats. Her simper quickly changed into a pouting whimper. I smirk and look away, really fighting the urge to bite her. She has a cute pouting face too. But I can tell this girl is an 'innocent' one; I'll only get slapped if I do any of my usual stuff. You need time and patience for girls like her. I don't do the long-term innocents. They get attached.

"Awww, I wanted to hold him~!" She looks away with that pouty face and twiddles her fingers.

"You can't expect to hold a squirrel, they're wild animals… Well, I doubt park squirrels are."

"Yeah." She smiles at me. "But he really liked you! That was amazing!"

I shrug my shoulders. "Me and animals have something... I don't really know what to call it, but they like me."

"They say animals are attracted to people with good hearts."

I raise a brow, loving this girl already. She knows how to make a man feel good without even touching them. "Yeah, I imagine my ticker works pretty well." Shit, that wasn't the right thing to say.

She gives me a weird look for a second. "Well that's good."

"Yeah." Damn… I just made shit awkward. To hell with it, I still want to know what school she goes to. "So what school do you go to? I've never seen your uniform before."

"I go to Midori Middle School."

I nod at the brunette. "Can't say I've heard of it."

She smiles. "Probably cause it's an all girls prep school."

I raise a brow. Prep school? You have to test into schools around here, and I remember looking into preps schools for Dad's sake. Lots of competition to get in, and they cost big bik-kies* too. Namimori happened to be on the cheaper side, allowing me to pocket the extra school funds. I don't need the Bees Nees* when it comes to school, I just need to graduate. But who cares about me? I'm honestly more interested in the fact that it's an all girls school.

I smile. "Yeah, I don't know about too many schools around here since I just transferred from overseas."

"Where did you come from?"

"Australia."

"Hahi~ so far away~."

Grab a little stick on the ground and start twirling it between my thumb and pointer. "Yeah, I'm looking for someone." I just haven't really had the chance to get started. Shit, I've only been here like a week. I've got to establish myself before anything, that Hayato guy can wait. It's not like he's waiting for me to show up or anything.

"Oh. Well I wish Haru could help…" She starts looking at the ground too.

"Eh, no worries. I'm Evander Nash; I'll find him."

"E-ban-da Na-shu?"

I chuckle. "You can call me whatever you want."

Her face scrunches for a moment and then says, "Ebi-kun."

"Shrimp?" I don't like that at all. There is nothing about me that resembles a shrimp. Nothing.

"Yeah, cause you're from over the sea."

I shake my head. "Gotta give me a different name. I'm not a shrimp."

Haru looks slightly sad now. "I thought it was a good name. They are all over the sea and they taste good too…"

Wow. How weird. It does make sense though, and I don't mind being something tasty. I'll just go along with it. "Fine, you can call me Ebi, but only cause of that whorl in your hair." I point to the only ringlet in her dark brown hair.

"Kya! You noticed my whorl!"

I laugh. "Because there's only one."

Then my stomach growls. Loud.

Back at the apartment now, I slip my shoes off and immediately turn left toward the kitchen area. Lights off, cool temperature, and dark inside my feet make small thumps against the woods floors. Dad tried to get me a 2DK*, but I told him that the extra bedroom wouldn't be necessary. I don't want to give the impression that guys and girls are cool to stay the night whenever and leave my place a brothel*. Guys are dirty as hell, but girls are dirtier.

Girls leave clothes everywhere and tampons. Fuck that.

In the kitchen and facing the wall between my apartment and the hallway, I open the pantry first inspecting the dark empty abyss. "Fuck." Then I sidestep to the right little paces and open the fridge. Cold. Lighted. Empty. "Double fuck."

I need food.

I've been doing fine with going to school and just buying snacks whenever, but I probably need some real food. The fridge shuts and my body hunches over the island across from the icebox. Bleh, I don't care to eat, much less make food. Probably cause I don't cook; dad took care of that part of house life. So my ass was stuck cleaning because I would always complain about how shit would go missing and the bodgy* job the maid would do. That bitch… many days I just wished she was a man.

After my hand does a quick run through my scalp, my stomach growls again while I walk around the island and over to the L-shaped sectional that engulfs the living room. I plop myself into a comfortable position and click the power button on TV's remote. MTV Japan lowly blares some annoying ass song. I change the channel. Anime. "Fuck again!" I change the channel. Star Wars—In Japanese.

"Che. My life." I cover my face for a moment, and try to find something to watch that isn't Japanese… Thirty seconds pass, and I'm no longer willing to expel the energy any more. The piss gauge is full and the hunger gauge is empty, but I feel no need to move for that either.

My phone buzzes. Email. Secretary Lady:

[Attached is the info on local maid services and some of their pricings. It's PDF so look at it on your Mac or buy a PDF app. I've also enclosed the information on ascertaining background checks/personal info of employees. I'm not sure if that is what you were asking since employment agencies don't normally keep 'pictures' of employees. Hope this what you need. –Miranda Druve]

"Fucking sweet." Then my doodle throbs. "Mmmmm, need to piss, but I don't want to get up. I need to eat too, but don't want nasty shit like Maccas*."

It throbs again. "Fine, you win doodle." I get up to lower the piss gauge.

Walking back into the living room after getting those "after wiz shivers," I sit down and reach for my computer on the coffee table to look for grocery stores. The email can wait; My stomach feels like its eating itself now. With few quick taps on the screen and Google already knowing my current location, I get a large map riddled with my natural fucking enemy… Kanji.

"Seriously. Fuck this day!"

I look at my phone and consider emailing secretary lady. No way, she'll tell Dad. I don't want that earbashing*. Wait—I got Ryohei's number the other day. I look at Princess Leia on the TV screen. It's the part where she is looking pretty hot for the fat Jabba the Hut guy. That was one sexy ass crazy chick. Schizophrenic… damn shame.

"Focus dude. Food." I look up. "Half naked Leia…" I turn off the TV. "Food."

I stand up and wander over to the kitchen again as I hear the line ring. A woman answers. Did that asshole give me the wrong fucking number? He better not have done it on purpose. I just calmly ask, "Is Sasagawa Ryohei there?"

The woman asks who I am, and I quickly answer. I listen to her yell for him. I sigh. This bloke needs a cell phone. Its fucking 2011, even eight year olds have cell phone. I'm waiting to see a baby with one—that'll be the day I cark it*.

"Moshi Moshi."

"Sasagawa-san."

"Who is this?"

I really want to say 'your mom,' but I won't. "It's Evander Nash. I need your help."

"Hmm, I get it. You need my help getting into the boxing club! I knew you would change your mind!"

I shake my head. "No my friend. I need help…" Shit… "You can't laugh."

"To the extreme."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I look at the phone and then mumble, "I need help going to the grocer… 'cause I can't read kanji."

There's a second of silence before he snorts. "Haha! Nash is idiot! Even kids can read kanji! Maybe you should go back to elementary school."

What a fucking asshole. "Ah fuck this! You probably don't even know how to sack groceries you fucking dill."

"Is that a challenge?"

"And if it is?" 'Cause I'm kind of in the mood to punch him in the face now.

"Where are you? We'll settle this like men."

Twenty minutes have passed since I got off the phone with Ryohei. That asshole, I'm going to kick his ass when he gets here. I'll show him who needs to go to primary fucking school…

Knock, knock.

Well speak of the devil…

I hear another set of knocks while I stand myself up and roll my shoulders. I open the door. "You ready?"

His taped fist punches into his other hand. "To the extreme."

"Onii-chan, are you talking about fighting?"

Onii-chan?

A petite-framed girl with honey brown hair and eyes peaks out of behind Ryohei. Pretty fucking cute, but the girl at the park was cuter despite being so weird. Wearing a pink camisole under a white sweater and jean skirt, the girl gives my cobber* a pouty stare. His cheeks slightly flush as he yells, "What? Never Kyoko-chan!"

I look at him and knock*, "That's not what he told me…"

He glares at me, "He's lying Kyoko-chan! We were only… discussing it! Yes!"

She looks at me, then back to Ryohei, "Oh… Well okay then." She smiles. "Is this your new friend, onii-chan?"

He nods. "Yeah, this is Ebanda Nashu-san."

I then ask, "And this is?"

"This my Kyoko-chan. The cutest little sister ever." Then his face does this weird, happy scrunch. "No one can beat my Kyoko-chan!"

Yep, she's not cute any more; I don't touch my friend's sisters, no matter how hot or cute or any thing. Man code. I give her a nod and a smile. "It's nice to meet you." Then I ask, "So why did you bring her?"

She answers, "Onii-chan doesn't buy groceries, so Mom thought I should come and help."

I laugh. "Well that's some good oil*." But now I kind of feel bad for her having to come. "Let's go ahead and get this done then."

I do a last minute check: phone, doodle, wallet, keys. Sweet. I lock up and we leave the complex. I'm sure we would've gotten to the store faster if Ryohei didn't try to beat the hell out of anyone that looked at his sister while she wasn't paying attention. Call me an ass, but I would just get Kyoko's attention to get him in check. That guy is an extreme mess of testosterone. One blowjob. One blowjob and I bet he would start running steady.

Let's face it. Men need blowjobs—they keep us from getting too extreme.

The automatic doors slide open and the cool air from inside the grocer runs past as all three of us ambling inside. Damn its cold in here. My stomach twists up in knots again. Doesn't feel good at all. I just want to grab a sanger* and leave, or grab the ingredients. Hmm lettuce, bread, polony*, mayo? Tomatoes are cool sometimes too. Oh, cheese too.

"I'M GONNA KICK THAT OCTOPUS' ASS!"

My attention snaps over to that idiot cobber of mine about to punch some fish tank full of octopus. I run over there and grab him. "Whoa! Why the hell do you want to even do that?"

"It's looking at me funny…"

I look at the octopus that Ryohei is glaring at. The thing is just hanging out and whipping his tentacle around. I look back at Ryohei. "Has it ever occurred to you that it might look at everyone that way?"

He looks at me. "Oh, so he pisses you off too?" Then he grins. "All the more reason to show him the extreme punch of Lion Punchinist Ryohei!" The knuckles crack.

I roll my eyes and yell, "Kyoko-chan!"

Ryohei freezes. "Where!"

Kyoko casually whips around the corner. "Ebanda-kun?" I see that she already has a basket full of stuff.

"Uhh, what's that?"

"Groceries."

"For what?"

"Well I thought I would make you and onii-chan nikujaga* at your house."

What? She's going to cook for me? What a great girl… If she wasn't Ryohei's little sister, I would make a woman out of her. Hell, I would consider making a wife out of her. But she's a no go according to man code, so I can only tell Ryohei how awesome he has it.

I look around and find him eating something and obviously enjoying himself. That asshole better not expect me to buy that for him. I'm about to inform him of this, as well as complement him on his luck (for getting such a girl) when he says to me, "You should buy some of these," and then he hands me some hard white thing about the size of my palm.

"What is it?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I dunno, but it tastes good."

I look at the white thing for a second before trying it. "Onii-chan! Those are paint chips!" I stop.

Crunch.

Kyoko and I both stare at the extreme guy eating paint chips.

*Sook - Crybaby

*His Nibs - its just something they call the boss of a group

*Ankle biters - kids

*Shonky - fucked up/dubious

*Gafa - Great Australian Fuck it All (pretty much anywhere outside the major cities)

*No drama - it's an expression of forgiveness/reassurance

*Big bikes - it's like saying "big bucks"

*Bees Nees - hmmm it's like saying 'the best of the best'

*2DK - when looking around for apartments in Japan, they refer to them in 1DK, 2DK, etc. The 2 means 'two bedrooms,' the D means 'dinning room/living room,' and the K is 'kitchen' obviously. (Evander has a 1DK fyi)

*Brothel - in aussie slang, saying something is a brothel or like a brothel implies that it's really dirty. A pigsty.

*Bodgy - shit work/half-assed

*Maccas - (pronounced 'Mackers') McDonald's

*Earbashing - yelling/nagging

*Cobber - friend

*Knock - it's kind of an 'infinitive verb' that translates as 'to criticize'

*Good Oil - Good information

*Sanger - sandwhich

*Polony - that's what they call 'bologna' down under I guess, found that while doing various research for the story.

*Nikujaga - it's a very 'homestyle' Japanese dish that has meat (niku) and potatoes (jagaimo)

PLEASE READ!

I take FULL CREDIT of the 'Seven and Seven' of the disciplinary committee. My beta Ausumist put a good amount of time into creating those. I don't mind if you want to use them, but please PM me first and give this story the proper credit for it. That's all.

Ah. And just if you're wondering, I tested out that trapping technique. It works lol, you just have to be like... really relaxed and chill when doing it. It's creepy. I thought a squirrel was going to bite me.

And I hate squirrels.