Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, nor do I own any of their characters. Likewise, I do not own Within Temptation or the song Somewhere.
A/N no. 1: Hello again! I apologize for making this so late, but I was honestly very busy. This chapter is actually pretty good, I think, although I had a tricky time getting inside Tony's head. He's surprisingly complex.
Also! I would like to thank each and every person who reviewed last time, it made my day. I think I replied to you all, but if I didn't let me know. I will try not to beg for reviews this time, but I still like reviews very much. ^^
Enjoy the story!
Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there's only silence, can't you hear my screams?
Never stop hoping, need to know where you are
'Cuz one thing's for sure
You're always in my heart
XX
Women are a subject in which Antony DiNozzo is well versed. There's something about him that tends to get him a date whenever he wants it—which is often. It could be his muscled body, his charming smile, his relaxed demeanor, or, hell, maybe just the easygoing way he carries himself. Whatever it is, it's inviting and effective.
However, despite the dozens of women he's had…intimate relations with, like every man, he has a flaw (well, some would argue that there's more than one), and unsurprisingly, it's the same phobia that most other men have: commitment. Needless to say, that hampers his success at having relationships longer than one-night stands, Heaven forbid falling in love. So, in his thirty-something life, there have been only two women who have ever captured his heart. Yet when it came down to him being honest with himself, there was only one woman he truly loved.
Ziva David. Lethal to the wrong people, frightening to everyone else. Smart, talented, brave, strong, compassionate, fierce, funny, beautiful…the list went on and on. He was intrigued by her as soon as she walked into that squad room, and he was there acting like a goofy idiot to hide his grief. Intrigued, but annoyed. His thoughts at the time were: Who does she think she is, swooping into our lives like this? She has no right messing with our case. But she helped them track down and finish Ari, when she had a reason not to. And she continued to aid them at every opportunity, saving their lives and putting criminals away. She was a valuable coworker, then friend, daughter, sister and partner. She brought life and playfulness into the grief-stricken office. Whatever friction they had, they worked it out. They were more than a team—they were family.
Until he arrived. Michael Rivkin, Mossad agent operating in the US under Director David's orders; Ziva's childhood friend and ex-partner. How could they compare to that?
Answer: they couldn't. They—Gibbs and Tony—tried to keep him away and protect her, but Rivkin wanted her all to himself. The situation just got worse and worse, until Tony had to make himself consider the option that he might not be able to trust his own partner anymore. So he went to ask her what the hell was going in, in the place where they had talked and laughed and become friends. He only wanted answers, but when he opened her door, he wanted blood. He thought of her, and how much he meant to her; that helped him cool down enough to question him. He wasn't surprised when Rivkin refused arrest—in fact, he was looking forward to it. But Rivkin was a better fighter than he would have thought, and all thoughts of her vanished from his mind as he fought for his life. Then Ziva flew through the door, eyes frantic, and for a second Tony thought she would come to him, her partner, first, but she barely looked at him before descending on him.
The rest was just a blur: the hospital, the tense plane ride to Israel, the revealing interrogation with her father, the agonizing fight with her (in which he pretty much spilled his heart to her, but she was too furious and confused to reply), and the quiet plane ride him. He and his boss barely spoke to each other, both were wrapped up in their own thoughts.
The next few weeks passed slowly by the minute, but quickly by the hour. It was quieter. Each member of Team Gibbs went though withdrawal differently, but before they knew it, two months had passed.
Still no word.
He suggested replacing her when it got too hard to remember that she wasn't coming back. His childish demeanor hid the ache in his chest, something he hoped a new flirtation object would numb. Cases had begun to lose their ability to take away said pain. Although the women had many qualities to speak of…they weren't her. So he turned them all down.
And then he just couldn't take it anymore, all the worrying and the anxiety, because they still hadn't heard anything from their lost friend, all the way on the other side of the world, and the ache in his chest corresponded with his gut saying that something was wrong. So he began checking into her activities in Israel, and when even the McGeek couldn't find anything, they went to Abby. Sometimes, he wished he hadn't; for that was when they got the news.
Ziva David was dead. She didn't even go down fighting, she drowned. When Gibbs said that, so matter-of-fact and coldly, they could only go into shock. Their friend was gone, and they couldn't do anything about it.
Time slowed down again. The shock didn't go away this time, like it did with Kate. This time, it just made everything seem so pointless and unnecessary.
So he said no. And in doing so, brought to light all the thoughts that they had all been hiding. Tony became a man on a mission—hunt down her killer. With his friends' help, they found him in record time (faster than they normally would have because it was the only news that could get them out of their depression). Then the director shot them down, and he grew enraged inwardly—they were so close, but they couldn't ignore the director's point. When Gibbs offered them a loophole, he jumped at it, and then they were boarding a plane knowing that they might not come back.
Again, everything was a blur—the arrival, the goodbyes, and the capture (painful, but still a blur). Now he's wide awake, and ready.
He can't help but feel some sardonic satisfaction when the Monster realizes the unraveling of his secret hideout, but his smile dies as the Monster returns pushing another captive in front of him. We have to get him out of here. He can't help but notice that the captive dresses similarly to her. But it's just a coincidence. It has to be. Then the hood comes off and his chest freezes. Ziva.
Here. Impossible. That's just…no, it can't be. But it's really her, though she looks almost like a different person. Her skin is chalkier and her body is bonier, but her eyes bulge as if she has to see everywhere at once. They're darker too, and they're wide now, trying to take in the fact that he's here.
His juvenile persona takes over, trying to make her feel a little safer. "So, how was your summer?"
Ziva has always been hard to read, but now her guard's down, and he can finally see what she hides in those dark eyes of her. A dozen emotions play across her face: pain, sadness, and frustration are prominent, but there's some positive emotions too: love, joy, and longing. But just like that, her guard is back up. "Out of everyone in the world who could have found me," she starts slowly, her voice thick with misuse, "It had to be you?" Her voice barely breaks at the end, a rare show of true sadness in her persona.
He is hurt. She doesn't want him here? Why, would she rather have someone else rescue her? The answer comes quickly: she doesn't want him to rescue her because here is here, in the middle of the driest place on Earth, in the middle of a camp of semi-human monsters.
She drags her gaze back up to his, and her beautiful eyes give him the courage to answer. In his own way, of course. "You're welcome." For so much more than this. "So, you glad to see me?" Although he asks in jest, deep down, he is yearning for her to say she did, because he missed her. A lot.
"You should not have come." Does she really believe that? Doesn't she know that we would do this in a heartbeat again? He replies sarcastically, with more grimness than usual. "All right then. Good catching up. I'll be going now." He stands up, then collapses in his chair. Ziva's eyebrows draw together; she almost looks like she might cry. "Oh, yeah, I forgot. Taken prisoner." As if I could forget that.
She doesn't look away from him as she speaks to McGee, and for that he is grateful. Being away from her was the darkest experience in his life, but he didn't realize it until he could drink in her image once more.
"You—thought I was dead?"
There are so many ways he could answer that, but, because the thought of her actually being dead strikes a chord in his chest, he says simply, "Oh—oh, yeah."
"Then why are you here?" For a minute he's dumbfounded. She…didn't think we would come to avenge her? Seriously?
Suddenly he remembers the toxin flowing though his veins, and realizes what he might say if she asked the right question. And, being a man, he just doesn't have enough courage to say it. "Well, McGee—McGee didn't think you were dead—"
"Tony. Why. Are you here?" Her voice aches with the raw desire to hear what they both know. He swallows.
"Couldn't live without you, I guess." It's the truth.
Her eyes flash once, then dull as she suppresses her emotions. And then harden even more as she realizes he never meant to live through this. It's just not worth it. "So you will die with me." She pauses, again looking like she might cry. Her next words are barely above a whisper. "You should've left me alone."
Pain flashes through him—for her, for him, for this hellhole they're in. "Okay! Tried—couldn't, listen, you should know I've taken some kinda truth serum, so if there's any kinda questions you don't wanna know the answer to—"
"I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I do not deserve it."
"So what are you doing out here? Some kind of…Monastic experience? Some kind of penance?" He knows he's goading her, but he does so anyway in the hope that she'll snap at him.
"It is justified." She's not making eye contact with him, but he knows that she truly believes it. She's been brainwashed to believe that she is not worthy of rescue, of avenging.
But she is wrong. "Get over yourself."
"I have."
XX
Lost in the darkness, trying to find your way home
I want to embrace you, and never let you go
Almost hope you're in heaven, so no one, can hurt you so
Living in agony, 'cuz I just do not know
Where you are
XX
"Now, you tell Saleem everything he wants to hear. And you try to save yourselves. I am ready to die." She steels her gaze, and he knows she wants to believe she is. But in truth, she wants to live more desperately than ever.
McGee slurs his words, "'S not how it works."
"How what works."
"'he plan."
"You, have an escape plan?" He's almost insulted at the tone of surprise in her voice. He winks at her, and she looks astonished. "Tony. They have thirty men, heavily armed. They have anti-tank and anti-aircraft weapons. What do you have?"
He shrugs, acting nonchalant. "Well, that's where things get a little tricky." And then, although he knows she's going to be pissed as hell, he explains their "plan"—aka what Tony thought up on the plane ride over and might've forgotten to tell Gibbs.
Surprisingly, she's not pissed; she's utterly and completely flabbergasted. Once again, he's just as shocked; she didn't believe that they would come for her. When he lets it slip that there is a strong possibility that they will get rescued, he is rewarded with a gleam in her eyes, a combination of elation and raw joy. Then when he sees it disappear, her eyes once again thicken with hopelessness. Then her eyes change again as she grows impatient and frustrated with him—just like old times—and then he sobers down and asks her if she can fight, because seriously, it doesn't even look like she can walk on her own. But Ziva, being Ziva, remains silent as Saleem throws the door open (he hates the man a little more every time Ziva looks at him and flinches).
There's a look of hard determination and cold ruthlessness in his eyes, so Tony opens his mouth again, hoping to distract the Monster. "Oh, hey, Saleem. What's up, man? What's with the commotion?" For indeed he has been hearing the noise of what's sure to be a squad of battle-ready Marines ready to kick some terrorist ass building for at least fifteen minutes now.
"Moving out." A knife. Not good.
"Oh, that's good; I was getting' kinda tired of this place." Keep him distracted, keep him talking. Come on, boss, we can't hold out for much longer.
"Not taking prisoners." Shit! We're so close! Then he presses the knife against her throat and he sees red from fury. Keep calm, keep calm. "I'm not done yet."
Ziva's eyes are wide and terrified, and though her face is turned away from him, she keeps her gaze on Tony, like she can't bear to lose the sight of him, as if he gives her strength. "If they do not check in, the Americans will come looking for them."
What is she doing, what is she doing, what the hell is she doing? "Ziva, shut up," he says in the most level, even tone he can manage.
She ignores him, so intent is she on saving the saviors. "Kill me. You'll need the Americans for leverage." Why does she not realize that we're not afraid to die for her? Why doesn't she have faith in her team?
The Monster is smirking. "I don't make bargains."
Tony smirks right back. "Do you make pizza?"
Suddenly McGee kicks out, and Saleem crashes to the floor. Tony starts yelling urgently; he knows It's not time, knows there isn't a chance that McGee can beat him all cuffed. Suddenly there the Monster rises again, breathing hard, his gun pointed at McGee. Ziva's eyes are wide and terrified, but he can't worry about her reactions right now; he has to distract the Monster long enough so they won't get killed. "Stop! Stop! There's something I haven't told you yet."
"And what is that?" Saleem asks, his eyes and gun still on McGee.
It's almost time, almost time. Gotta stall him, stall him. He makes eye contact with Ziva and says, ""Well, I told you about the brains, I told you about the guns, I told you about the muscle, the scientist, politician, the leader, I told you about every member of the team, except myself," breaks eye contact, he can't let her know how scared he is, "the part I play." Come on, DiNozzo, work it! "I'm the wild card. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like right now, I should be terrified, right? But I'm not." Now he's breathing hard, and he has Saleem's attention. "'Cuz I just can't stop thinking about the movie True Lies. You know, where Arnie is strapped to the chair shot full of truth serum? Picks his cuffs, kills everybody…
"You have thirty seconds to live, Saleem."
Ziva looks confused but still scared. McGee has grabbed the knife and hidden it below his body and is stealthily cutting though his cuffs. Saleem laughs. "You're still bound. You're lying."
And now for the finale. This is so better than Terminator: Salvation. "I can't lie." Saleem looks a little anxious about that. "I didn't say I was gonna be the one to kill ya.
"Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?" Now.
Right on the mark, the window shatters and a bullet rams into his head. Saleem dies immediately, alone in a pool of his own blood. You deserve nothing more, you monster.
Suddenly gunfire increases, as do the screams and shouts. McGee leaps up, cuffs already undone, and runs behind Tony. A guard runs in a starts screaming as he sees his boss's dead body. Another bullet ends his life, extra gunfire showering the ceiling. Ziva's eyes are locked with his, raw fear with intense determination. We will bring you home. I swear.
The cuffs are suddenly off, and then Ziva's rope bindings are easily cut. She stands, but wobbles—both of her legs are damaged. Before he has time to actually think about how many injuries she has, he grabs her right arm and quickly swings it over his shoulder; McGee does the same with her left. They begin moving quickly down the hallway, practically dragging her. She is shaking.
Another guard, they pause, two gunshots, turn the corner…
And there he is. "Let's go home."
XX
I'll find you somewhere, I'll keep on trying
Until my dying day
I just need to know, whatever has happened
The truth will free my soul
XX
The plane ride was a blur. The Marines gave them minimal first aid at the port where they had taken off, so they wouldn't die on the way home, but he was still achy and tired, but incredibly amazed. We saved her. We did it. She's coming home. Even as she wouldn't talk to him or detach herself from Gibbs, he was just happy to be able to look at her.
XX
The elevator brings back so many memories—bickering, laughing, teasing, arguing. But now it's just silent. He almost laughs when he says, "Just another day at the office."
A soft ding accompanies the opening of the doors. Ziva looks to Gibbs for leadership; he steps out first and heads for his desk, as if it's just a normal day at the office. Ziva follows him, but stops and just looks at her home. Both he and McGee pause behind her, not wanting to leave her vulnerable. Abby and Ducky are looking at them, both just looking.
A clap rings out, and they see Vance standing on the balcony, looking rather proud. Suddenly the entire office is clapping, exchanging looks of shock and awe, for rescuing her, the one whom they thought was lost.
Abby steps up to Ziva with Ducky right behind. Tony shakes Ducky's hand, then passes him to his desk. It's just too much, he needs to sit down. When he does so, he sees Ziva hugging Abby fiercely, but looking at him with eyes filled with hurt. He just looks at her, and for a minute, the two exist in their own little world.
But then the bubble breaks, and Ziva looks away. He knows that there are things that need to be said, and when he's showed, eaten and gathered his thoughts he'll wait for her to do the same, and then they'll talk—because they are partners, but they both deserve the truth.
XX
Wherever you are, I won't stop searching
Whatever it takes, need to know
A/N no. 2: Well, I hope you enjoyed! All that's left now are Ducky and Abby, and I'll try to get them up by Monday, but don't hold your breath. However, even if it takes a few weeks, I will not abandon this FanFic. Cross my heart, hope to die.
Correction: in the last chapter, I mentioned a picture of Paris-erase that! I completely forgot that Jetlag is not until season 7. My bad. When I'm done with this whole story, I think I'm gonna go through again and completely re-edit it, just in case I forgot something.
REVIEW, review, review!
And have a nice day.