Niko laid low the following weeks, sticking to simple jobs where he stayed behind a wheel. Packie called him and he answered and they talked, not about the fact that Packie had tried to turn him on or that Niko had been turned on. Just stupid shit. They made vague plans to get together that Niko had no intention of keeping. He didn't touch alcohol because he'd been inching closer and close to self-medicating ever since Roman moved out. Roman. He definitely did not talk to him.
Roman texted once to say Mallorie was six months pregnant. Six was so much especially when that meant she'd been pregnant three months before Roman moved out. Niko wasn't sure how he hadn't seen a baby bump at the restaurant, the physical evidence of the boy growing in her womb. Roman was glad it was a boy. Niko didn't text back but a week later he did drive to Roman's apartment when he knew Mallorie was at work. Roman answered the door wearing just sweatpants, sleepy eyed, face lined with stubble. He was mid-yawn and so he stood still with his mouth open, which was fine with Niko because it gave him a chance to speak first.
"Invite your cousin in for a drink?" he asked. Niko pushed past him without really waiting for an answer, pulled a beer out of the fridge, and twisted the top off as he settled down on the armchair. He wasn't intending to drink any of it but he still wet the mouth of the bottle with his lips, watching Roman sink down into the couch.
"Niko, why are you here?"
"I can't catch up with my cousin?" Niko sucked on the bottle and then stuck it between his knees, realizing only belatedly that Roman stared at his mouth during the action and then looked away but went pink. So, what? Roman didn't want to talk to him because he still liked his dick? Niko didn't even want to ask.
"Stop calling me cousin," Roman said and then exhaled and pressed his hands over his eyes. "Just stop or get out or, I don't know-" He stopped talking as Niko set the beer down on the coffee table and leaned forward.
"You still want to fuck me," Niko said. Roman blinked and then they were all teeth and tongue and hands sliding under clothes. Niko thought about Mallorie for half a second but then he bit down into Roman's neck and forgot about it. He'd had Roman first and really Roman was his, even if they both became husbands and then fathers and then gray and old. As long as Roman's hand felt good stroking his cock, this would keep happening, and Niko wasn't sure why they tried to end it.
Later, as Niko wiped off the cooling semen on his stomach with a kitchen towel, he said, "So, can we never see each other except when we're doing this?" Roman ran his fingers up and down Niko's arm and Niko didn't shake them off. It wasn't like he was stupid or sentimental now but with a couple months absence he felt a little more tolerant of gestures like that.
"Mallorie and I are leaving Liberty City. Next week." His hand slipped off Niko's arm and he pushed himself off the couch, fumbling with putting on his underwear. "I'll always want this and I won't do it to Mallorie or my son." Niko watched him tie his sweatpants and pick up the beer, moving towards the kitchen. He didn't need a normal goodbye to be told to get out. However he would need a physical force to actually leave.
"Are you choosing a fucking girl over your family?" Niko shouted after him, pulling his pants up and then charging after him into the kitchen. He was angry. He was irrational. That, he knew. He just didn't see why Roman couldn't just fucking stop having sex with him and be his cousin. Roman didn't need a fuck buddy he needed a cousin, and if Roman left, America would be a miserable place.
"Mallorie is my family," Roman said and Niko knew it was true. Knew this was an already-lost battle and he should just cut his losses and leave. Call Roman later when he had his head on straight, when he didn't stink of Roman's sweat and spit and cum. Niko, who had always considered himself pretty logical and clearheaded even when angry, picked up a plate sitting on the counter and smashed it on the floor. It shattered and the shards stuck into his legs, his feet, but Roman's too and that had been the point. As his cousin cussed, Niko stormed out of the house, leaving his shoes in the living room by accident.
Once home, Niko picked out the ceramic shards and soaked his feet. The water swirled from pink to red as he watched and he felt guilty. He hadn't meant to blow up at Roman. It was done now though and they were leaving. Maybe it was better, for Roman of course, it was not better for Niko and he didn't know what he was going to do now.
At first Niko told himself he was on bed rest for his feet. After a couple of days he admitted to himself he needed some time, to sleep and rest. Which he did. He slept a lot and ate a lot and didn't take any jobs. He gained weight steadily and soon he had a belly and beard to challenge the American Santa. Christmas had passed right by him and Valentine's Day approached. Niko hated that the Americans put so much stock in holidays.
One morning he woke up and ran until his legs gave out under him and he collapsed on the pavement, earning a few skinned patches and even more bruises. He did that for weeks, running farther and farther each time. It took three months for him to lose the weight he'd gained and when he stood in the mirror, looking thin but feeling old and tired, he realized Roman's son would be a couple months old and the anniversary of him moving out quickly approached.
He had smashed his phone the day Roman moved out of Liberty City and ignored every knock on his door. Until he lost the weight and shaved and then he took his first job, for Playboy because he hadn't bugged Niko once during his months of recluse. The stakeout took 15 hours and Niko went to sleep immediately after, then went to the restaurant where he'd seen Roman and ate there because he'd avoided the whole area since he saw Roman and Mallorie there.
It took a week for Packie to visit and Niko let him in. Packie didn't move further in the house than the hallway, shoulders hunched to stuff his pockets into his hoodie.
"I heard you've been working," Packie said. "Feel like helping me with something? There's this huge fucking-"
"No," Niko said. "Thanks though." The jittery lines in Packie's face smoothed out and he pulled his hands out of his pocket, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Why?" Niko, who had not been very far away from Packie anyway, took a step forward and grabbed him by the upper arms. It was an awkward movement, followed by an even more awkward kiss. Niko had never really initiated anything with Roman and kissing a girl was different, easier, but Packie didn't seem to be complaining.
After a few moments, Niko pushed Packie against the door and their hips jutted together and as a response Packie's hand snaked beneath Niko's jeans.
Packie spent every night for a week and then moved most of his stuff over. They didn't talk about that or Niko's months of solitude or anything other than each other and the people of Liberty City. It was a lot different than living with Roman. Then, Roman had talked about tits all the time, sometimes moments before jerking off Niko. They hadn't touched each other, other than for sex, and their kisses hurt. Niko still didn't feel wrong about fucking his cousin but he did still feel wrong that Roman had moved away. He'd already decided months ago that he wouldn't do anything about it, though.
Packie told Kate and Kate told their brothers and after that it took only days for the news to spread around Liberty City. Niko still got hired but there were no more invitations to come in and drink a beer, no more darts or car races or quick trips to fast food joints. Packie went through much of the same, except he had his brothers ignoring him and Niko could see that hurt. They didn't talk about their feelings though so he didn't ask about it.
Packie asked in the beginning that Niko take one day off a week and so on the Sunday Roman came back, the two were shirtless and stretched out on the couch, watching the news report on Niko's pet store robbery. It had been for Brucie and most of the puppies were sold already but Packie had suddenly wanted a dog and as a result there was a little ball of fur on the floor, chewing on a rope. Niko liked it although he acted disgusted every time it ran up to him and gnawed on his foot.
The doorbell rang and the puppy, still unnamed, ran over to the door yapping. Packie untangled himself from Roman and went to answer the door, not bothering with a shirt. Niko wished he had when he trooped back into the living room, Roman and Co. in tow. The baby was hairy and pink and Mallorie looked happy. "Look who showed up," Packie said but his voice lacked enthusiasm and it was probably because Roman didn't know they were...whatever they were. Fucking regularly. Packie knew nothing about Niko and Roman's real past and Niko didn't intend for that to change.
"Roman," he said and he hated the hand that clapped his shoulder and the stupid smile on that stupid face. "Why are you here?"
"To see my cousin! And you can meet little Nicholas." Nicholas. Niko.
"Did you fucking name your baby after me?" The vulgarity wasn't purposeful but he didn't apologize for it.
"It was my idea," Mallorie said, soothingly, like Niko gave a shit about her feelings. "You've helped Roman and I so much - it was your money that let us move out of the city, after all. And of course you're his favorite cousin." She bounced the baby a little as she smiled, looking every bit a harried suburban mother. The ghetto had been wiped off her almost completely, leaving just an accent behind.
"I'm his favorite cousin because I let him put my dick in his mouth," Niko said and had not even realized what those words meant until Roman's fist connected with his face. Niko punched him back without really considering that he had deserved it and then he was beating the shit out of Roman before the situation had completely caught up with him.
Packie yanked him off eventually but by then Roman bled from the nose and mouth. He stayed on the ground as he wiped his upper lip across his sleeve and then stood up. "Fuck you, Niko. I came back for you. I was gonna - and what, you're a faggot now? Fuck you." Niko spit on the ground and Roman left.
"What the fuck was that?" Packie finally let go and Niko adjusted his shirt, smoothing his fingers down over the front as he realized that one: Packie was probably going to be pissed and disgusted and two: Roman's punch had hurt really fucking bad and his face was going to swell up and bruise. The second thing was easier to deal with so Niko went to kitchen and filled a plastic bag with ice. Packie followed and watched but said nothing until the ice pack obscured half Niko's face. "Are you going to answer me?"
"It was what I said it was." Niko pressed hard on his face until he wanted to scream. He said nothing and Packie said nothing and they stood there until the ice started to melt. Niko poured out the bag into the sink and said, "Are you going to move out?"
"No. It's weird. I don't get it. But it was all before, right?" At Niko's nod, Packie came up behind him and clapped him on the lower back, then bumped their shoulders together. "So, I've been meaning to tell you about this fucking cigar shipping coming in."
So, uh, this is a piece of shit. But I didn't want to leave it unfinished so here is at least a semblance of a finale. I'll probably delete this sooner or later. Blah.