I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side, and give me support
And in return, she'll get my support
She will listen to me, when I want to speak
About the world we live in, and life in general
And though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted
She'll hear me out, and won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking, in fact she'll often disagree
But ant the end of it all, she will understand me
Depeche Mode
She had come to his house every day, caring for him, and like a saint who could read minds, she was gone again by six in the evening. She usually brought something home made from the kitchen of Maggie Scully, often heating it up in the kitchen without even turning on any lights. She would bring it up to him in the small tray she found in the kitchen, and make sure he finished the entire meal. She took care of him, doting on him and making sure he did not fall behind in any of his classes.
They spent most of the time curled up together on his bed, she held him in the silence, as they would listen to music, or watch TV. His room was a trove of hidden treasures; there were things there from all over. Alien lighters, models of cars and planes, and even an h scale train set in the far corner. She found something interesting to ask him about every day.
"Mulder, why don't you ever talk about your parents? I mean I have been here every day for the last two weeks and I have never heard nor seen them."
The sad face crossed over his features at her query, he had known sooner or later she would want to know what all the mystery was about, but he wasn't ready to divulge the hideous nature of his home life. Then again, he probably never would be. "My father works for the State Department, and he is gone a lot, so I take care of my mother." He wrote. "My mother takes a lot of medication and it makes her kind of out of it." That was the nicest way he could explain his mother's pill fetish, and he somehow knew that Scully caught its true meaning. She could always understand him, even when he couldn't understand himself.
"So, your parents are still together?" she asked.
"In a sense, but I don't think they have had a marriage for years now." The tone in his eyes screamed back off, but Dana plodded on.
"Because of Sam?"
"Sort of, there are other things too Scully." Please, his eyes begged, Please let it go.
She did, for now.
The day he met her at the door, she knew he could talk, the words, though unspoken, hung around his mouth just waiting for her to pull them out of the air.
"Thank you," he smiled in a hoarse raspy voice.
Dana took him home that day, Maggie and Charlie had missed him, and since the bruises on his face had healed, he would not cause such a fuss around the Scully household. They fell right back into the routine, afternoons and weekends.
Thanksgiving, the Scully family had wanted to invite the Mulders over for the holiday. "I don't think that is such a good idea Scully." He mentioned to Scully on the walk to school one crisp fall day. "I don't really think my mom even knows what day it is," he admitted.
"Oh Mulder," she sighed. "I am sorry." They decided a little white lie to Maggie would suffice, they would tell them that his parents were going out of town for the week, and that he would be glad to spend the holiday there with them.
It was the first time he remembered looking forward to a holiday since Sam had disappeared, he knew he would have to tell Scully where he was going for college, he knew the longer he put it off, the worse it would be when he finally told her. Somehow, he could not bring himself to ruin her that way, she was everything to him.
Thanksgiving Day, Mulder showed up early, bearing an actual pan of food.
"Whatcha got there Mulder?" Missy asked in a skeptical tone.
Mulder slid back the aluminum foil to reveal a pan of something with noodles. "What is that?" Missy and Dana asked in unison.
"My grandmother's recipe" he offered, smiling. "Noodle Koogle." He looked at the stunned faces of the two girls. "It's a dessert." He offered trying to explain. "It's a Jewish thing." He said finally.
"Did you make this?" Maggie Scully asked in awe of the young man.
Mulder's ears went red as he nodded. "I figured I couldn't just show up here without bringing anything, I don't know if you've noticed this or not Mrs. Scully, but I really do eat like a horse."
"Fox," Maggie teased, "No, you have the appetite of a bird." Maggie tried to suppress giggles.
"Yeah," Dana mused. "A pterodactyl."
They had to admit, the sweet noodles was actually something delicious, there was nothing for Mulder to take home, Bill and Charlie had fought over the remains of the pan. Mulder smiled at how they had enjoyed his creation; there were many things that Mulder had learned to cook over the years, mostly out of necessity. It was the kind of gathering that Mulder had promised himself he would attend every holiday some day as an older and wiser man.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dana went to his basketball games every week; they had gone to the first one right after he had healed from his accident. He was so good on the court, tall and sure of himself, Dana found herself wishing he could find that same confidence when he wasn't competing with others. He is his own worst competition, she mused to herself as he waved to her from his position.
Mulder and Scully walked home after that first game, he had the look of someone with the weight of the world on his shoulders. She knew there was something bothering him, but she was afraid to ask, there were so many things left unsaid between them, so many unspoken secrets between kindred spirits.
"What's wrong Mulder?" she asked finally finding the words.
He stopped in front of a streetlight in the late fall night. "I don't want this to end Scully." He answered wistfully.
"What to end Mulder?" she asked drawing closer to him. In the last four months she had grown closer to this person than she had to anyone in her life, and though only fourteen and a half, she knew she loved him. She could never tell him, and never would either, he had only a few months before he left for college, and though he had not mentioned to her where, Scully had the feeling it was somewhere far off, and probably at the crux of his melancholy mood this night.
He placed his arm around her waist, hugging her close. "I don't want this night to end, this school year, this—us." He breathed afraid of what he had said, and what she would take from it. Her smile softened his fears.
"I know what you mean Mulder," she sighed." I keep thinking about your graduation, and I know you are going to go to college, I just feel like you are afraid to tell me where."
His Scully, so damn intuitive, for someone who did not believe in ESP, she sure had it down. "I have been accepted Scully. I am going to go to Oxford."
She couldn't believe what he had just uttered, her face drained of color and her eyes flashed intense blue. "That's in England Mulder." She managed. "Why so far away?"
"I need to get away from a life that I can't lead anymore Scully, and no that has nothing to do with you. As a matter of fact, if you and your family had moved here a year earlier, I would have happily attended the junior college, just to be able to come home to you…and your mom's pot roast." She snickered, it was famed Mulder's love for Maggie's pot roast, and she always gave him a big chunk, insisting he ask for seconds when he wanted it.
He always did.
"I don't know how to react to losing my best friend." Dana had begun to try to put on that brave face, but the mask was still a little crooked. She knew why he wanted to leave, his home was nothing like the one she had grown up in, there was little sound and less love, of course he had to get out, of course he had to run.
"You're not going to lose me Scully, "he reassured her, if she only knew he mused. "You may even have to beat me off you." he grinned lewdly at her, eliciting yet another raised eyebrow.
"Mulder, I am serious, you are going to be an ocean away, I hate to admit this, but I have kinda gotten used to having you around, I may find myself even missing you—to an extent." She wasn't exactly comfortable admitting the depth of her feelings, at least not yet.
"You have nothing to worry about; besides, we have at least eight months before I have to go. Let's enjoy this ok?" he asked resting his head onto her hair, inhaling deeply her scent of honeysuckle and green apples. "I don't want to spend the rest of our time together with my leaving hanging over our heads, get it?"
"Is this where we promise to write each other every day, and that nothing is going to change, we will always remain close…yadda yadda yadda." She wasn't crying yet, but one more sweet promise from him and she would burst into tears.
He smiled down at her. "Have you seen Star Wars yet?" he asked out of the blue.
"No, you know I don't like Science Fiction movies, and that one looks cheesier than my mom's Tuna Casserole." She laughed.
"Aww come on Scully, it's playing at the theatre on the square, we could go to the matinee tomorrow, I'll even treat…"
"Fox William Mulder, are you asking me out on an actual date?" she asked heart racing, try to play cool here Dana, she chided herself.
His face broadened into a smile, "What if I am?" he asked shyly.
She answered with a soft smile "I think I can sit through a couple of hours of lasers and death rays, besides, that Mark Hamill is a real cutie." She smirked.
"Ouch Scully, Ouch." He smiled.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The movie wasn't much for Dana to remember, Mulder seemed to enjoy pointing out important scenes for her, and she tried to seem interested, but she had a hard time watching the screen with him so close to her.
"What did you think of it Scully?" he asked as they left the theatre.
"Mulder, explain to me again why Darth Vader wants to create the Death Star? I mean give me a break, what would be so great about ruling the universe? If you ask me, it's more trouble than what it is worth." She knew she was poking him, but she couldn't help it, it was just fun. "And another thing, that whole THE FORCE thing, come on Mulder, first you tell me that you are an Atheist, then you go all ga-ga over a movie with such obvious religious overtones…"
Mulder looked down at the girl standing alongside him. She was never more beautiful than when she was trying to prove him wrong. "Again, not a perfect credence Scully."
And as they strolled past the small five and dime, Mulder reached for her hand, and she let him catch it.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Maggie Scully watched her daughter walk up the front walk holding the hand of the boy she had welcomed in her home as one of her own. They seemed so natural together, and her keen Mother's eyes detected something different in the way they acted toward each other, something decidedly not just friendly.
Their favorite spot was in the swing on the now enclosed front porch, even when the weather had gone from chilly to downright bitter, the two teens would grab three blankets and curl up together, sometimes talking, but mostly arguing. Often Mulder would just sit holding her daughter as they looked up at the darkening sky, just as now, Maggie could hear him explaining some vast mystery of the stars to Dana, as she in turn listened intently.
Her husband was insistent on her staying out of this, Bill Scully Sr. figured the two would either burn out, or eventually tie the knot. "Either way," he had written in one of his many letters. "It's good for Dana's self esteem Mags, let her have this one."
She did, grudgingly admitting that of all the boys her youngest daughter could have brought home, Fox Mulder was probably the pick of the litter.
"Fox," she asked the young man seated next to her daughter. "What are you doing for Christmas this year? I just thought that, well we really enjoyed having you over for Thanksgiving, and even though we are going out of town to visit family, I thought maybe you would like to come with." She smiled at the gaping face Dana wore.
"Wow," Mulder returned, not sure how to take this. To be invited to the Scully home for Thanksgiving was one thing, but traveling with the pack meant something different altogether. "Can I get back to you on that one Mrs. Scully?" he asked
"Sure, but Dana's aunt and uncle are already aware and would love to have you." She came over to sit next to the swing that the two occupied "We just don't want you spending Christmas alone Fox," Maggie offered calmly. "And we all love you here so much." She put her hand on his arm and rose to go into the kitchen.
"Mulder, you ok?" Dana asked him, noting the silence that befell her usually talkative best friend.
"I want to go so badly Scully…" he began wistfully. "But I have to take care of my mom." He looked like he would cry.
"Mulder, at some point you have to let go, I mean you are leaving for college soon. Who are you going to get to look in on her at that point?"
"I know Scully, but…" he shook his head with tears in his eyes. "If I am not there he will take it out on…" he stopped suddenly, looking like he had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Mulder," Scully gawked "Are you saying that your father..." she couldn't even bring herself to say the words out loud.
He rose quickly, trying to escape the conversation she was sure to have out with him. "I have to go." He ducked.
"Funny," she began with a glare on her face he had learned meant to tread softly. "How you have to leave when things get touchy."
"Scully…" he warned softly.
"Whatever Mulder." She relented and walked upstairs without a good bye.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I want somebody who cares for me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things in a different light
All the things I detest, I will almost like
I don't want to be tied, to anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things
And when I'm asleep, I want somebody
Who will put their arms around and kiss me tenderly
Little things like this make me sick
In a case like this, I'll get away with it.
Depeche Mode
Mulder didn't know what to do about her, he had let her in so far, and she was still on the outside poking, trying to wiggle her way in further. He wasn't keeping her out in some stupid macho attempt to be the big strong hero, he knew he wasn't that. He didn't keep the information about his life from her in some vain attempt to save face; Mulder didn't hold much of any self esteem in the first place. He wasn't afraid of his family issues chasing her off; he knew that if she decided to run, it would be better for her overall.
He was simply trying to keep her safe. The more she knew about his family, the more danger she was in, and though he had very little knowledge of what his father actually did for the State Department, he knew enough to be careful.
He had never expected to care for Dana Scully so deeply, nor her family. The Scully clan had become something of an Achilles heel for him, he could rarely tell them no, and even then he felt like he was letting the team down, if he wasn't so in love with Dana Scully he would have wished to be born into that family.
Maybe marrying into it is good enough he mused, but that was something that was a long way off, even though he knew where this was all heading, he just had a few things to accomplish first.
Like finding Samantha.
They had loaded up the two cars, Christmas gifts and suitcases, Dana had broke the news to her mother that Mulder would not be joining them, Mulder had made himself a ghost for the last week, and no one but Dana knew why.
"Are you two fighting Dana?" Charlie had asked missing his Basketball buddy. "Whatever it is just say yes, then he can come over again." Things were so simple at nine, and maybe things should have been simple at fourteen, but that was for people who weren't in love with Fox Mulder.
"Charlie, we are not fighting, and it's not that easy. "She sighed. "Mulder will be back after Christmas, ok?" she ruffled her little brother's hair before gathering together Mulder's gifts from the family and heading off to his house.
"Hi " she smiled when he popped his head out of the front door as she came around the corner. He was watching for me, she mused to herself, feeling her cheeks get red at the thought.
"Hi yourself." He smiled back, hazel eyes twinkling at her.
"Where've you been Mulder? The pong game hasn't been used in a week, Mom's threatening to fling it out the window." She smiled.
"Yeah, well I figured you guys needed space to get your things together to go out to California." He mumbled. "And maybe you needed a break from all of the Mulder drama."
"Mulder," she shook her head. "Being in love with you should involve hazard pay." She laughed, and then realized what she had said out loud.
"Scully?" Mulder's face so easy to read he could have been 74 point print. "I hope that isn't a joke, cause if it isn't you don't need to pull any of those presents out of that bag..." he grabbed her shoulders, holding her close. "I think I love you too Dana Scully, " he cried into her hair.
They stood on his steps, holding each other, neither one wanting to break the magic. She had accidentally told him she loved him, and as he held her close, she realized none of it was an accident at all. His hands searched her face, and finding her chin, he lifted her mouth enough for his lips to reach.
She was rendered breathless in his kiss, found colors swirling behind her eyes as his mouth deepened its hold over hers as her hands went to his waist, she felt her knees begin to give out, and just as she was sure she was going to topple down the stairs, he was there, holding onto her, like she knew he always would be.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
California possesses a beauty and serenity that few people would associate with the state, but in the low canyons and rolling hills there was a quiet desolation that evoked feelings within her of freedom and longing. She had always enjoyed their trips out here, she had even spent a summer out in Fresno with her aunt and uncle one year, falling in love with the contradictory nature of the Californian topography, canyons and ocean, valleys and hills urban scrawl and rural sprawls.
This vacation was different however, this vacation was miserable, she missed Mulder every day, they had agreed not to open their gifts to each other until they could be together, and she was dying to see what was in the three boxes of differing sizes. She had only got him one gift, but she knew it would be perfect, she had taken a lot of time to think of this gift; wanting to be sure it would send the right message to him. Not that the message needed to be inferred any longer.
He called her at six in the morning on Christmas Day, in truth he had held out as long as he could, Mulder missed her so badly he thought he was going to snap. They talked for an hour, before everyone else awoke to begin the festivities. He promised to call her again later, and Dana found herself wishing it was already later.
"You haven't opened my presents yet have you?" he asked with a warning tone in his voice. "Cause Santa has no room on his lap for naughty little girls…" he chuckled
"Mulder!" she admonished. "No dirty talk on Christmas, not all of us are godless heathens."
"Hey," he pouted. "I miss you Dana." She knew that he was letting out real emotions when he threw out her first name, they had always referred to each other on a last name basis, and though she found it breathtakingly sexy to hear him use her first name, she still could not bring herself to call him Fox.
"I miss you too Mulder, I'll be home in three days ok?" she comforted him. "We'll have our Christmas then, I promise."
"Hey Scully," he purred in a voice she was quite sure she could get used to. "Don't forget to bring the mistletoe."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He never called again that vacation. She had waited up till two in the morning, long after the rest of the family had sacked out. Dana cursed herself for having to be here, she began to worry about him, and a quick stolen phone call to his home yielded no answer.
She awoke the next morning begging to make another call, with a smile her uncle Dan agreed, but there was no point, the phone still went unanswered.
"I'm sure he is fine Dana," Missy tried to comfort her sister, but even she was worrying, Fox was so headlong for her sister, she didn't doubt some great Greek tragedy prevented him from sitting on the phone waiting to call her again.
She spent the next three days in a complete fugue, not being able to get a hold of Mulder and being stuck in California sent her into a fit of depression. She even caught herself nibbling on her fingernails, something she had not done in years. The plane ride home dragged on for hours, and when the car parked in front of the Scully residence, her father waved her away as she ran breathlessly for Mulder's house.
A more than middle aged woman opened the door when she knocked; it took her a few moments to realize who it was. "Mrs. Mulder?" she asked
"Can I help you?" she asked in such a far away voice, Scully wasn't sure she was talking to her at all.
"I came to see Mul-Fox, is he home?" she asked trying to see around the taller woman, trying to see if Mulder was lurking in the back.
"No," she answered simply. "Are you one of his little friends from school?" she asked, again with the weird disconnected tone.
"Yeah, look where is Mul-Fox?" she asked becoming both irritated and frantic, a bad combination for any Scully, bad things happen.
Mrs. Mulder finally met the girl's gaze, "He's still in the hospital, he has been there since Christmas." She stepped back into the house and made to shut the door.
"I don't understand Mrs. Mulder." Dana fumed, sticking her foot in the door casually. "Hospital? Why? Which one?"
Teena Mulder regarded the tiny red head on her front porch for a moment longer, smiled and then shut the door, Dana had seen something in the clearly not right woman's eyes that made her move her foot—quickly.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Ahab!" she called barging into her house gasping and upset. "I need your help Daddy." She cried as he held her.
"Dana, what's wrong?" he tried to calm his daughter down, but she was incensed.
"He's gone, and I need help finding him Daddy, please." She gasped between sobs.
"Ok," he soothed her, "Ok we will find him, just calm down and try to tell me everything you know, ok?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Captain William Scully made five phone calls before he got the information that his daughter needed, Fox Mulder was in a hospital in Maryland, not responding to stimulus, and he had five broken ribs, a crushed clavicle and a severe concussion that he had not awakened from. They feared some swelling on his brain, and the doctors contemplated exploratory surgery to find the source of it. The broken ribs had collapsed his right lung, and he was intibated for a day, now extabated he seemed still un-responsive.
She held it together the entire ride to the hospital, as her father explained all the things she could expect to see when she entered his room. He also went over to her his prognosis, that he had some major injuries to get over, but overall he would be all right, at least physically.
"What happened to him?" she asked finally.
Bill Scully eyed his daughter, he wasn't sure how to tell her, or even if he should. "There was an incident on Christmas Dana; the cops had to be called to Fox's house…"
"Oh God, his dad did this to him…" she blanched.
"You knew about all of this Dana?" he asked incredulously.
"No, I had an idea, but Mulder always got so closed mouthed about his home life.." she trailed off, not exactly comfortable discussing it with her father.
They drove in silence, and upon parking in the hospital parking lot, Dana broke into a run and went full tilt till she reached Mulder's room.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Even though her father had spent most of the hour long ride preparing her for the shock of seeing her best friend in the hospital, none of this was near what she was ready for. His long frame lay dormant, hidden by the hospital thermal blankets. Monitors beeped incoherent rhythms and there were wires traveling off of his body.
A nasal canella improved his oxygen intake, and he had bandages over a good portion of his upper body, including the coronal part of his head. She eased up to the side of his bed, drawing a chair with her. "Hey" she offered to the still boy in the bed, taking his good hand into hers and gently kissing it. "Mulder, you have to get up, ok? I really want to open my presents and the suspense is killing me." She sniffed.
He didn't respond, and yet somehow she knew he could hear her. "C'mon Mulder, get up, we got stuff to do before you leave for college. You can't spend the next eight months ignoring me; I couldn't have been that bad a kisser." She laughed.
Smiling, she pulled something out of her pocket that she had been holding onto since she talked to him on the phone, "Look what I brought Mulder?" she asked holding the mistletoe above his head. Producing a tack from her pocket, she hung the mistletoe above his head on the wall.
"Ok," she smiled down at him patting down his unruly hair as she spoke. "So I am here now, waiting, just waiting for you to open those gorgeous hazel eyes of yours. The mistletoe is waiting too," Grinning one of Mulder's lewd grins, Dana sat back down in the chair, and laying her head down on the bed next to him she went to sleep, still clutching his hand.
Captain Scully looked in on his daughter before leaving for home, it was pointless to awaken her and insist she come home, he had friends here that would ensure her quiet repose and look in on her, he softly walked to his youngest daughter, kissed her cheek and leaving her a note and money on his bedside, he turned and left.
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Hey all, thanks for the reviews, sorry this took so long but i have just started a new job and well they work me a lot, think i have to write faster LOL
Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming, please...I will write faster if i get a lot of reviews i swear...