The Spider's Web by Rondomness
As mentioned before, I travel to London at Sunday and I'm away until Friday, so the next chapter will take longer than usual before it's publication.
Chapter 4: Light Up My Dark Heart
Kaname was waiting impatiently for the sun to rise. It seemed as if the big grandfather clock in his room had stopped. It showed ten o'clock, but Kaname wanted it to show fourteen o'clock instead. The time ticked by painfully slow.
He had been seated here since six o'clock, after dinner. Most of the household had already gone to bed. Kaname could have escaped now, but Yuki wouldn't come home from school before two today, so Kaname merely waited. Watching in silence, he saw the first rays of sunlight, before it was so bright that humans would have been able to see anything, followed by the first glimpses of the red sun, bathing the sky in orange, red and garnet colors.
If he got caught this time…
If Ichiou caught him this time, the despicable old noble's wrath would probably be twice as fierce as usual, and Kaname didn't even want to think about what he might do to the pureblood. It would be harder than just a beating, even though Kaname couldn't imagine what else Ichiou could do. It already seemed as if Ichiou had taken all but blood from him.
Sometimes, Kaname felt as if he was nothing but an empty shell. He thought himself to be hollow and that might be the truth. He denied and suppressed his real feelings to an extent were they almost ceased to exist. Almost. Sadly, it was only his happiness, his smile and his laughter that got destroyed. The pain of his wounds and the emotional pain whenever he by accident got to think of how caged he was remained completely intact. It was only Yuki that could lift him away from such a darkness, she was his light, his sun.
Takuma was going to help him get away again, although he'd resisted much more than usual. He'd protested wildly, and it took a long time to convince him to help. As recompense, Takuma had talked Kaname into carrying his phone with him although he didn't wish to be disturbed in his time with Yuki, and Kaname had to admit that it was a clever move.
Takuma had completely freaked out when Kaname told him that he'd asked Cross to say to Yuki that he would be visiting the following day. The noble had begged him not to go. He'd asked if Ichiou would beat Kaname again if he found out and it hadn't really helped to dull Takuma's panic when Kaname said that he would get beaten, if he were lucky.
But all that didn't matter to him. Kaname'd been beaten and tortured so much that seeing Yuki was worth risking a punishment. Kaname had never tried escaping so shortly after another breakout, which gave him the advantage of surprise. Ichiou wouldn't expect him to be stupid enough to try to escape again today.
Kaname barely kept himself from falling asleep, but finally, he could sneak out. Falling asleep would have meant that he would sleep until tonight, ripping him of any chance of escape. All breakout attempts had to be in daytime. First, Yuki would sleep during the night, thus making a visit a bad idea. Second, there was no way for Kaname to sneak out while the entire household was at their busiest.
Kaname made his way to the hall, meeting with Takuma, who, to put it plainly, looked very tired. For a vampire, two o'clock in the day was something similar to three o'clock in the night and for a teen, who hadn't even been sleeping well last day, it was no wonder that he was so tired. The groggy, green eyes nevertheless looked determined to make this a success.
"I have ordered a taxi for you. Do you have the phone?" Takuma asked, yawning even as he fought to keep the tiredness out of his voice. Kaname gave him a silent nod and gestured towards one of his pockets which bulged out. "Is my grandfather asleep?" Takuma asked next, his voice dropping to the lowest level possible when he spoke. Kaname nodded again. Not that he knew but Ichiou had no need to be up at this hour.
"It's waiting for you outside. Be careful, okay?" Takuma begged, managing to sound like he wasn't on the verge of drifting off. Kaname gave him a small smile. "Yes. And get some sleep." Takuma nodded sleepily, yawning again. Kaname gave him another faint smile before hurrying out in the sunlight, down to the road where the car waited.
Shutting the door behind himself, Kaname gave the house a look, wondering if Ichiou would find out. No, he wouldn't, how could he? It had all been arranged quickly, silently and this time, there was no meeting or anything else Ichiou might have made up to lure Kaname into the trap. It was only days after his last attempt, Ichiou wouldn't expect that, so of course, he didn't know. And unless something extraordinary happened, he wouldn't find out.
Kaname shook his head mentally to get all those unhappy and anxious thoughts out of his mind and instead concentrate on the only thing that really mattered now. Yuki. To see her again would give him enough strength, enough light to hold out for a little more time. It had been so long. Way too long time since he'd seen her last time and he barely knew what he was going to do once the meeting was over and he returned "home". Kaname didn't like to think that that horrible old man's house was his home, but it was nevertheless. Maybe, he should really accept Cross's offer and go live in the new dorm he was building in his school. They had actually talked about making it into a vampire school as well, to get some new blood into the coexistence movement.
No, it would be way too dangerous. Ichiou would find out whom he'd been visiting and if he found out… what would happen to Yuki? And Cross? Kaname couldn't move out of Ichiou's house, at least not now. Ichiou was going to beat him so hard if he found out about today… But what could he really do? Hadn't he already done everything possible except things that would make Kaname bleed?
Ichiou was always extra careful to not let Kaname bleed under the beatings as he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking the blood if it was shed right in front of him. Kaname was too intoxicating. Even though he would never admit it, Kaname was scared that one day, Ichiou simply wouldn't have the strength to resist his blood any longer and then take it by force. Kaname couldn't imagine anything else than it would hurt immensely to give blood to someone without wanting to. He felt ill even thinking about Ichiou drinking his blood, perhaps even restraining Kaname as he drank.
Kaname learned against the frame of the car window, again studying the houses the car crossed. Cross lived in a rather large house in the rich part of the suburbs. He and Yuki lived alone, with the exception of an elderly woman named Momoyama, who looked after Yuki if Cross had any arrangements. She seemed like a kind person, from what Yuki had told him.
Kaname wished he could live there too. But even as a pureblood he had little, if any, influence on what happened to him. His guardian already controlled every aspect of his life. Ichiou decided all of his lessons during the night, the teachers in the different subjects, what he should eat and, except times when he escaped such as now, when and where he was allowed to go outside of the Ichijo Estate.
The house was close now and Kaname felt himself moving forward in anticipation. He was perfectly capable of closing off the feelings, except when he was with Yuki. She always seemed to see straight into his soul, discovering secrets he didn't want anyone to discover. Kaname suddenly got afraid that maybe, Ichiou had found out one way or another and he gazed nervously backwards to see what was behind the car. Nobody. There was nobody. Ichiou hadn't found out and he wouldn't.
Kaname calmed himself instantly. It was just because he was close to Yuki's house now that he reacted that way. He gave the driver a silent nod when he got out of the car a few streets away from Yuki's house. Even when he was quite sure that Ichiou weren't following, he wasn't stupid enough to go straight to her door. The sun was sharp and it pained him a little, but luckily, he'd wanted to be put off closer to Yuki's house than usual. He couldn't wait to see her again and when he walked as fast as now, it would only take a couple minutes before he would be there.
Kaname almost began running when he got close enough to see the house some twenty meters away. Closer, he saw Yuki gazing nervously out of the small window. She was wearing a small blouse of white wool, Kaname could see it clearly as she nearly sat in the window frame to be able to see him when he came.
When she saw him, Yuki's small face lighted up in a big smile and she ran out to get to the front door before Kaname. When he was halfway up the driveway, she opened the door and smiled widely. Beside the blouse, she was wearing a small, black skirt, white leggings and big, fluffy home slippers. The brown hair hung randomly around her small, but immensely beautiful face.
"Kaname-sama," she said, sounding just as happy about the reunion as Kaname was. Kaname took the two steps separating them in a matter of a few seconds and then he finally felt her small arms around him as she buried her face in his coat. "Yuki," he whispered, his arms sliding around her small frame and holding her very close.
For a few moments, both were unwilling to break off the embrace, then Kaname slid down to sit in front of her. Even though they were only separated with three years, he was a lot taller than her. "I've missed you," he said and lightly let a finger follow her nose so her face contracted in a funny grimace. Her big, red-brown eyes looked at him with fascination and blind adoration. "I've missed you too," she whispered, learning against his coat and hiding her face in the folds.
"Come inside, come inside," she begged, pulling him into the entrance and shutting the door behind him, as if scared that he should suddenly leave. Kaname let go of the black overcoat and let Yuki led him into the living room. There was a tray with teacups, milk, sugar and a teapot, together with a plate of cookies, standing on a small table. Cross apparently were in the kitchen, he shouted a short greeting. Kaname could smell he was cooking. Maybe, they wanted him to stay until tonight. As much as the offer appealed to Kaname, he couldn't stay so long. He had to be back before anyone woke up.
"I've waited with tasting the cookies until you came," Yuki announced with childish pride. She was already eleven years old, but at some points, she was still very childish, something Kaname found to be very sweet. "Oh, did you really? Why, thank you," Kaname said, patting her head softly as they sat down in the sofa together. Little Yuki poured him a cup of tea before taking one herself, then offering him milk and sugar. Cross came in from the kitchen to get a cup as well.
"So, Yuki. How was your day?" Kaname asked conversationally, smiling in a relaxed way he never did at home. It was wonderful to, for once, be able to let down all the facades, the walls he'd crafted around himself to avoid that Ichiou got inside. With Cross and Yuki, Kaname could be himself. He could smile and laugh, he didn't have to look completely emotionless and closed all the time.
Yuki waited a little before answering. It was clear that she didn't want to talk about school when Kaname was visiting. "Boring. It's difficult to sit still and wait when I know you would come," she smiled, watching Kaname closely when he took the tea cup to his lips. As a vampire, Kaname had no difficulties smelling all the different aromas in the tea. This, for instance, was definitely rose-tea. Kaname let his lips lightly touch the surface for a second, before taking a small sip. He gave Yuki a short smile and she smiled back.
Then, her small face turned serious and she placed the cup on the table, turning to look directly into the pureblood's face. "Uhh, Kaname-sama?" Yuki whispered, the insecurity clear in her tiny voice. Kaname smiled at her again, also sitting down his cup and turning to look at her, waiting for what she had to say. "Couldn't you come visit more often? I mean, I'm so happy for your visits but I would just… you know… love to see you more…" Yuki didn't know wither she had upset Kaname or not and it shined through in her worried expression. Kaname was split. On one side, he knew it would be almost impossible to come two times in a month, on the other, he couldn't stand to see Yuki's sad face. Pulling her into a warm embrace, Kaname nuzzled her brown hair. "We'll… We'll see about that…" he answered hesitantly. He already knew he was going to disappoint her.
"I have a school play in a couple of weeks, it's in the evening and everything. Would you come?" Yuki asked, her eyes big and begging. A couple of weeks? No, he couldn't possibly come again in a couple of weeks, not already there. But…
"Okay. I promise," Kaname whispered, learning into her soft arms, seeking the warmth. To hell with everything else. Ichiou couldn't do anything worse to him than he already did and Yuki was anyway a million times more important on all aspects. No one in the world was as important to him as Yuki.
Kaname's eyes met with Cross's. He looked worried to say the least and it hurt Kaname that he had to make the elder man worried about him. He knew Cross thought himself to be responsible for Kaname's happiness as well as Yuki's, but as things were now, there weren't a damn thing he could do to change anything. And when this moment of peace and freedom ended, Kaname would have to return to be Ichiou's prisoner. But all this, he would endure, as long as Yuki was safe, out of danger. Kaname would have to ensure that Rido would never come after her, never ever. He shouldn't be allowed to live, especially not when he was the only one, except Cross and Kaname himself, who knew who and where Yuki was.
It hurt Kaname deep within when thinking about how Rido'd gotten his filthy hands into that information. To think that Kaname finally had given up, succumbed to the torture and given Rido the information he needed to destroy Yuki. At least, Kaname had ended up getting some sort of revenge although he knew Rido wasn't quite dead yet.
Kaname took another sip of his tea, while Yuki went on and on about how happy she was for Kaname's visits and how she was looking forward to show him the school play. Of course, she ended up telling him the entire plot down to the simplest lyrics, but Kaname was fine with that, he mostly concentrated on the cheerful sound of her tiny voice anyway.
Takuma glanced nervously at his watch and then down to the road for the umpteenth time. Kaname was nowhere to be seen. Normally, he wouldn't be away for this long, it was already almost four o'clock, and grandfather would be up soon, as were some of the servants. He should know better than to stay out for so long.
Probably, grandfather was up already, he just hadn't left his room. Takuma had fallen asleep instantly, so exhausted that he was almost unconscious. Maybe, he should go to grandfather and tell him that Kaname wouldn't be present at breakfast. But what excuse could he make? Surely, grandfather would get suspicious? Should he call Kaname? Yes, he had to know when the pureblood would be home. If it was very soon, no other harm had to happen.
Kaname sighed in annoyance when the phone in his pocket started vibrating, at the same time sending out a slow classical composition. Takuma. Did he have to call right now? As Kaname took out the phone to ask Takuma to just leave him alone, he got shocked when the little display showed the clock. Had he been here for two hours already? No, he couldn't be, he shouldn't be.
It was the thing that sadly always happened. He enjoyed Yuki's company to an extent where he forgot the time and that was usually the reason for Ichiou discovering him. Answering the phone, Kaname gave an apologetic look to Yuki and Cross. "I'm sorry," he whispered to them, before repeating the apology into the phone. Gracefully, he rose from the sofa and made his way into the hall, not wanting Yuki to hear anything.
"I know I should have returned already, but I just kind of lost track of time," Kaname apologized again. Takuma said it didn't matter and then asked when Kaname would be able to leave as it would have to be soon before the entire household was wide awake. "I will leave as soon as possible," Kaname said, ending the phone call. Slowly, he called the taxi service.
This wouldn't be easy at all. Yuki would probably ask him why he had to leave so suddenly, why he couldn't stay for just half an hour more and receive dinner here as well. The truly hurtful part was that he wanted to stay so badly. That was the backside of these visits. When they then ended and he had to go back to the Ichijo Estate, it felt as if the darkness swallowed him again. Just like an eye that'd been blinded by light could see nothing. Whenever he was back in his room again after having spent a wonderful afternoon with Yuki, he always sunk into one of his black periods.
When Kaname stepped into the living room and saw Yuki and Cross with each of their teacups, Kaname felt hurtfully home. It was here he belonged, not together with Ichiou. He didn't want to leave. "I… I have to go now," he announced with an apologetic look. Little Yuki's eyes went sad all of a sudden, before she stormed into his arms again. "Do you have to leave right now? Couldn't you at least stay to dinner?" Kaname sat down in front of the little girl. He'd already promised too much today, and he couldn't possibly stay any longer.
"I'm sorry, Yuki," he said, desperation clawing at him when he saw her eyes. "But I… I promise I'll come visit you to your school play. Should I come here at seven o'clock the fifteenth?" Yuki's face lighted up a bit and she smiled at him again. Her big eyes expressed fierce adoration and complete trust. "Yes, please," she said and hugged him once more, before helping him out into the corridor of the house, handing him his jacket.
Cross too, came out to say goodbye. Kaname locked eyes with him again for a moment. He always had the feeling that Cross knew about everything, but probably he only knew that it was very hard for Kaname to sneak out and… maybe the entire thing was just a product of his imagination, living there because he needed somebody to understand and because Cross had known him since childhood, had known his parents so well.
Sliding into the jacket, Kaname gave both Cross and Yuki a quick goodbye, hugging Yuki closely to him once more, before walking out the house, through the small garden, which Cross had been nurturing the last two years without it turning into something worth showing, and onto the road. The taxi was waiting for him and he slowly stepped in, giving the driver Ichiou's address.
Kaname sat behind the darkly tinted glass, again watching the world roll by outside. At least, nothing pointed at Ichiou knowing anything about his short escape. Maybe, he wouldn't even find out and Kaname wouldn't be punished at all.
Cold dread washed over Kaname's senses when the Ichijo Estate got into view. It sat like a knot in his stomach, making him almost physically ill. When the taxi stopped, he murmured a quick "thank you" and then ran into the house as fast as possible. Ichiou wasn't stupid enough to not find the connection if he saw Kaname hurry into the house at this time of the day.
Takuma came running down the stairs the second Kaname opened the front door, asking what had taken him so long, why he was only coming home now. Kaname explained it to him quickly, but also asked him to be a little more discreet. Takuma nodded silently, but then followed Kaname back to his room.
"Ichiou. Is he up already?" Kaname asked on his way up the stairs, Takuma following him like a puppy. The blond noble shook his head quickly. "I think he's up, but he hasn't left his room yet." Kaname nodded in agreement, tossing his coat to a random maid in the hallway. Right now, Kaname just needed to be alone. To sit in a corner of his room and try to recall the sound of Yuki's voice and the warmth of her embraces.
"Kaname?" Takuma had no idea what to say. He wanted to express his concern for the pureblood, but it was hard. "I-I…" The pureblood was looking straight at him. Those cold, emotionless eyes seemed to pierce right through him. "I'm… worried about you," he finally whispered, watching something flicker through Kaname's façade for a second. Kaname was quite obviously thinking everything through. His mouth opened slightly as he made himself ready to talk, but then he swallowed his words and closed his mouth again.
Takuma didn't know what to think. Didn't know if Kaname had taken it as a personal insult, if he believed it to be a lie or if he believed Takuma when he spoke what was on his mind. Kaname was not a person whose personality invited to friendship, actually it was quite the opposite. But even then, over the years and especially with this recent, horrible discovery, Takuma wanted the pureblood to be able to trust him. Wanted to be Kaname's friend.
"Thank you," Kaname said, almost without sound in his voice. The words sounded a bit hollow, but it was clear that he meant what he was saying. "I think… after all, I'm happy with continuing visiting Yuki, even though I might end up hurt." Takuma was taken aback by the depth of Kaname's voice and eyes. They were filled with desperation, yet with joy.
"I beg you goodnight," Kaname said as he turned to leave, Takuma staring after him. Kaname. I want to become… someone whom Kaname will be able to trust.
At breakfast, both Kaname and Takuma closely watched Ichiou for any signs that he might know about Kaname's little outbreak earlier, although Kaname did it a lot more discreet than Takuma. The pureblood was deadly exhausted, but apparently, Ichiou didn't know anything as he did not pull Kaname to the side, did not say a word about it or anything else. Actually, he barely talked during breakfast, or when they sat in the library afterwards. An eerie silence dominated the room, making even the air thick and cloying.
Kaname excused himself from dinner to go to sleep early, although that wasn't what he told Ichiou as the reason for his absence. He went to bed three hours before the normal time, but he didn't get to sleep that long anyway. At around six o'clock, Kaname was awoken by his senses, telling him that another vampire was near him and his eyes flew open.
"Ichiou. What is it that's so important that you have to wake me up?" Kaname asked with well-placed bite in his words. It was unusual enough for Ichiou to come into his room at all, to wake up Kaname in the beginning of the day was downright bizarre. "Kaname. Come here. There is something I want to talk with you about," Ichiou said with anticipation and exaggerated gentleness in his voice as he almost jerked Kaname out of bed.