Chapter 4: Worth Fighting For

Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead, nor do I have the rights to any lyrics by Rob Halford

A/N: This follows on from Victim of the Game.

You said I could never find a way to ease your mind

That where I'd go you'd wind up in the dust

I tried so hard to have you reach another side of me

Instead you went to nowhere and forgot…

"You made her go away! Dad! How could you? We love her, she loves us and you made her go away! I'll never forgive you for this, ever!"

Carl's words rang in Rick's ears as he sat in Michonne's cell on her bed that was now stripped bare. He held the note that she had left for him to find, staring at what she had written. The note that Carl had found in her plain room when he went looking for her as he did each morning. The note that Carl had thrown at his father in front of their entire group as he shouldered his way past Rick, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. She had left the multi-coloured cat for him; a bittersweet reminder for her of the young boy she had come to love and cherish as if he were her own. The cat that he took to his own cell as he cried out of anguish for Michonne, now lost to him. She almost changed her mind when she thought of Rick's children. She almost unpacked her meagre belongings, but the wrenching of her heart forced her to be resolute in her decision. The children would be safe with Rick, she would ache for them, miss them terribly; but she was happy in knowing they were safe. He is a strong protector, a good father; that is one of the reasons why she loves him.

She almost went to see Rick, to tell him to his face that she was to leave; but she did not trust herself, her emotions. He would look at her in that sad way, his blue eyes peering into her soul. He would say something to make her stay, he would promise that he would keep his distance, that he would not complicate things for her. He might say that he would work on his guilt and his issues and that he did love her. He might say he wanted her. He would ask what she wanted him to tell Carl. He would plead with her and she would stay. They would end up in each other's embrace again, and be right back where they had begun.

He had to check her room to see if she had actually gone, and she had. He felt as empty as her cold cell was. That voice from deep inside him that screamed out her name met a resounding echo from his hollowness. He had wounded her so profusely that she could not be around him. That she would rather face the horrors of the world instead of be in his presence a moment longer. Rick could barely focus his thoughts; he had been so foolish. I should have chosen her. I love her; I love her. But she was gone. He did not fight to keep her; he had let her flee. He had caused this problem. For all of his integrity and loyalty and other words that people seldom used anymore, he was not true to Michonne. He was too busy trying to be true to the memory of Lori. But his wife was long dead; long gone. She is gone, and still causing Rick heartache. And now…Michonne; this living and breathing woman, she was lost to him.

Rick,

I'm leaving, don't look for me. I can't stay here and face you every day. It's easier to be away from you. I tried so hard to ease your mind. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I can't compete with the memory of a ghost. All I'm guilty of is loving you. Please tell Carl I love him, and kiss Judith for me.

Goodbye.

Michonne.

…So I wander on asking where you might have gone.

From what I knew before; some things are worth fighting for…

A/N: Worth Fighting For by (the mighty) Judas Priest

This song is one of my favourites. I'm thinking of using all of the lyrics to prompt the next chapter because it tells a story within itself. Yep, definitely need a hug after all of this angst…I know it's all a bit moody, so thanks to those who have read thus far.