Malfoy paled dramatically, but stood his ground.
"I'll get you fired before you even start teaching," he threatened.
Ed sighed. "So you're willing to throw away your education because I called you out for bullying another student. Please tell me you aren't a normal student, because otherwise I'm just gonna have to ship you all off to Teacher."
He limped past Malfoy up the stairs to the castle. His ports were still aching, but not as badly as before. Still, he was considering skipping the Feast entirely and going to bed instead.
The castle itself was one of the most impressive sights Ed had ever seen. Tall and imposing, but something about it was warm and inviting. Maybe it was just the presence of happy children. Some of whom were his age. That would be fun.
He followed the crowd into the Great Hall, but he had barely stepped foot in the hall when a voice called, "Professor Elric, I want to see you! Potter and Granger too!"
Ed looked over his shoulder to see a stern looking woman with her hair in a tight bun and square glasses. She looked like a woman of authority and power. Ed automatically straightened his shoulders and resisted the urge to snap a salute.
"There's no reason to look so worried-I just want a word in my office," she continued. "Move along there, Weasley."
She ushered the three of them down the hallway away from the Great Hall. "I am Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress," she said.
"Pleasure," Ed said.
When they reached her office, she motioned for them to sit down. Ed sank into a comfortable plush chair. Potter and Granger sat in plain wood ones. "Professor Lupin sent an owl ahead to say that you two had taken ill on the train," she said, nodding to Ed and Potter.
Before Ed could do more than grimace, there was a knock on the door and a plump, matronly woman bustled.
"This is Madame Pomfrey," McGonagall said.
Potter went red. "I'm fine," he said, "I don't need anything."
"Oh, it's you is it?" Madame Pomfrey said, bending down to peer at him closely. "I suppose you've been doing something dangerous again." She whirled around to face Ed, who leaned. "And now there are two of you. You ought to be setting a good example for the students."
"It was a dementor, Poppy," McGonagall said. They exchanged a dark look.
"Setting dementors around the school," Madame Pomfrey clucked disapprovingly. "These two won't be the last collapse. Terrible things they are, and especially with people who are already delicate..."
"Okay, I'm done here," Ed said, standing.
"Absolutely not," McGonagall said. "Perhaps if you had only fainted, but you were having a seizure. That's not something we can ignore."
"Oh is that what it was?" Ed asked. "Why were there dementors on the train?"
"They were looking for Sirius Black."
"Unacceptable," Ed said. "Who the hell let them on? I need to talk to whoever's in charge."
"What you need is a night in the hospital wing," McGonagall retorted.
Ed shook his head violently. "No, I'm fine. Really. Just peachy."
"You're walking with a cane," McGonagall pointed out.
"Old injury," Ed said quickly. "Lived with it for years. I'm fine."
"Perhaps there's something I could do to help," Madame Pomfrey suggested.
"Don't want it. Don't need it. I'm fine." He tried to storm away, but his cane slipped on the smooth stone and he fell.
Swearing under his breath, he tried to stand, but he had fallen on his knee and his ankle still wasn't working properly. He grabbed his laces to pull his ankle up so he rest his weight on it. The knee didn't work either. Madame Pomfrey hurried to his side and helped him back into the chair. He saw the look on her face.
"Just let me give you a quick check up, dear," Madame Pomfrey asked.
"Not now," Ed muttered. "I don't really want the whole world seeing my scars. After the Feast." That would give him some time to plot his escape.
"There's a staff meeting after the Feast. I'll see you after that."
And there went his plans.
"Yeah, alright."
"What about Mr. Potter," McGonagall asked.
Potter startled, like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm fine," he insisted.
"Well, they should have some chocolate at the very least," Madame Pomfrey said.
"We've already had some," Potter said. "Professor Lupin gave it to all of us."
"So we finally have a Defense teacher who knows his remedies," Madame Pomfrey said approvingly. "Well, if you're sure you're fine, I suppose you can go. But if you feel the slightest bit weak or shaky, I expect you to come to the Hospital Wing immediately."
Potter nodded.
"Very well," McGonagall said. "I'd like a private word with Miss Granger about her course schedule and then we can all go down to the feast together."
Madame Pomfrey helped Ed into the corridor, then left, muttering to herself. Potter shuffled his feet awkwardly while Ed focused on knocking the knee joint into place without being too obvious about it. He didn't have much success.
A few minutes later, Granger and McGonagall emerged and they made their way back down to the Great Hall.
While the outside of Hogwarts had been magnificent, Ed thought the Great Hall might have it beat. It was lit by thousands of candles floating unsupported above the tables. The few drops of wax Ed saw vanished feet above the students' heads. The ceiling was dark and stormy, like the night sky. Thunder crackled softly, as if it was coming from miles away and flashes illuminated the hall from time to time.
Potter and Granger joined a table at the far right of the hall. It had a banner with the emblem of a lion above it.
McGonagall helped Ed up the stairs to the staff table. She sat on the Headmaster's right, while Ed moved to an empty seat between Lupin and a massive, wild haired man with a bushy beard.
As soon as Ed sat down, the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, stood up to speak. Ed had heard he was the greatest wizard of the age. He didn't doubt it. Dumbledore radiated a sort of benevolent power that Ed had rarely encountered. Hohenheim had been able to do it too, but Ed had rarely seen it.
"Welcome!" Dumbledore proclaimed. "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out
of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast..."
Dumbledore paused to clear his throat. "As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business."
He looked about as happy about it as Ed felt. It was nice to know Ed would have someone to back him up when he went after whoever put the dementors anywhere near him.
"They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds," Dumbledore went on, "and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises - or even Invisibility Cloaks. It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors."
Ed wondered how uncommon murder was in the Wizarding World for one man escaping prisoner to necessitate this much precaution. Although, he was the first ever to escape. Either way, the dementors were much more of a threat to the students than Black.
Dumbledore looked around the hall, letting the severity of his message sink in.
"On a happier note," he continued, "I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year. First, Professor Remus Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
There was some scattered applause. Only the three who had been in the compartment with him clapped with any enthusiasm. Ed would have clapped, but he didn't want to move his arm more than he had to. Instead, he raised his glass to Lupin.
"As to our second new appointment," Dumbledore continued, "I am thrilled to announce the addition of Alchemy to our esteemed curriculum. Professor Edward Elric has travelled here all the way from Amestris to teach this new subject."
Most of the students clapped once or twice to be polite. Many of them shot each other dubious looks. Ed seethed, but he didn't actually hear the word 'short', so he kept his temper in check.
"And now for our third new teacher. Well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year to spend more time with his remaining limbs."
Sometimes Ed wondered if he shouldn't be doing that instead.
"However, I am delighted to say that his place will be taken by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this job in addition to his gamekeeping duties."
The enormous man, who Ed guessed was Hagrid, blushed at the thunderous applause. The Gryffindors, especially, seemed fond of Hagrid.
Dumbledore waited patiently for the applause to die down. "Well, I think that's everything of importance," he finally said. "Let the feast begin!"
The goblets and plates filled with food, but Ed wasn't hungry. He was still on edge from the dementor attack. Lupin passed him some more chocolate without comment.
When the feast finished, Lupin helped Ed up and showed him to the staff room, where the faculty gathered. There were only a few seats, one of which Ed claimed. The rest of them elected to stand. Lupin pointed out most of the other teachers to him.
Dumbledore arrived last, filling the room with his presence. "Thank you all for rejoining us for another year of fine education," he said jovially. "And thank you especially to our new faces."
Professor Snape sneered at Lupin. Ed figured they had history.
"Now, I don't think I need to repeat myself regarding the dangers of dementors. I have tried to convince Cornelius to remove them, but he is adamant," Dumbledore said. "We must also be on the guard for Sirius Black himself, who has proven himself capable of evading dementors. Since the dementors are not permitted on school grounds, we must rely on the castle wards and our own abilities to keep him out."
There were murmurs of agreement from the staff.
"This year, we must also bear in mind that Remus suffers from lycanthropy, so we need to arrange a system to cover for his classes during the full moon."
From the sudden tension in the room, Ed guessed that this was the first some people had heard of Lupin's condition. Speaking of which, "What's lycanthropy?" he asked.
"I turn into a monster every full moon," Lupin explained with a wry smile.
"A wolvish being would be a more accurate description," McGonagall interjected. "The condition is incurable, but manageable, unless there is an alchemical solution."
Ed considered it. "I generally try to avoid biological alchemy, but there's a couple people I could ask. I'll see what I can do, but I've got a lot on my plate already. I'm not sure I'll have the time. Biological alchemy is kind of a touchy these days."
"Why is that?" Flitwick asked.
Ed shrugged. "Lots of unethical human experimentation and stuff. Anyway, since I'll also investigating Sirius Black, I need permission to question the staff if I think it's necessary."
"Of course," Dumbledore said.
"Why would any of us be helping Black?" Snape snarled.
"You tell me," Ed retorted. "Besides, your government condemns people with a truly staggering lack of evidence, so we can't even be sure that Black is guilty. I don't doubt that he's dangerous and potentially lethal, but you guys could have at least pretended to have due process."
"There were dozens of witnesses," Snape said.
"Yeah, they were all Muggles. What happened to them after you got their testimonies? You erased their memories and replaced the gaps with new ones and never at any point in this process did anyone think someone else could have done the exact same thing."
"We were not involved in that," Sprout pointed out gently.
Ed shrugged. "Point still stands. I'll also need someone to help me set up my class tomorrow morning."
"I believe the Weasley twins are free for the first morning classes. It should keep them out of trouble," McGonagall said.
Ed hid his smirk. He loved new places. People actually thought leaving him alone with the professional pranksters was a good idea.
"If no one has anything else that needs to be addressed, we can conclude this meeting," Dumbledore said.
There was only one exit, and Madame Pomfrey was waiting in it. Ed braced himself.
The hospital wing was cozy and comfortable, at least by hospital standards, which were admittedly low. Especially Ed's hospital standards.
"Now, I just need to examine the leg. I was told that you have some nerve damage there, correct?"
Ed laughed nervously. "Nerve damage is a bit of an understatement, but I'd really prefer if you didn't mention this to anyone."
"I'm sworn to patient confidentiality," Madame Pomfrey said.
Eyeing her warily, Ed pushed up his pants. Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow. It was almost a Teacher-level raised eyebrow.
"That's more than a bit of an understatement, dear."
Authors Note: Sorry this is late. School started again on Monday and I'm still readjusting. I'll still be aiming for Tuesdays.
Currently, the only people who know about Ed's automail are the Weasley parents and Madame Pomfrey. Ed's trying to keep attention off it.