Disclaimer: I don't own the Stephanie Plum series or its characters. I don't earn any money with this story, and the plot is completely fictitious! Oh, and I don't own Ghostbusters either.

Author's Note: I still haven't read Lean Mean Thirteen, so any similarities between the book and this story are completely coincidental.

Chapter 3

A break-in and a break-up

Dickie's house was one of the exclusive ones in the Burg. With a nice yard, a nice garage, some nice neighbors – everything just really nice and expensive. Like his house.

We strolled along the driveway and I pushed the monstrous bell button.

Although I had been here before, I still somehow felt out of place.

We waited for a few minutes, but nothing happened.

Lula bit her lower lip. I knew exactly what she was thinking about. I did the same.

"Joe is going to kill me!"

Lula waved it off. "Nah, as soon as you put on that little black dress of yours, he's gonna forgive ya everything."

I looked at her.

She had no idea.

Cops could be very trying. Especially this one.

Joe Morelli and my past were inseparably linked with each other, which however didn't mean that our relationship was easy. Basically, you couldn't even call our 'off-again, on again' game a real relationship…

He wanted me to quit my job for him and I wanted to keep my job. This was part of the reason we argued more recently and found ourselves in the 'off-again' stage more than in the 'on-again' one.

At the moment we were back together again, but I didn't know how this was supposed to continue. I mean, sure, Morelli loved me but that wasn't enough. And to be honest, I wasn't sure of my feelings for him anymore, because on the one hand I was still kind of attached to him, but on the other hand there was Ranger… Granted, I still had the feeling of guilt wash over me after every encounter with Ranger and every time I happened to think of Batman, but that guilt was rather related to the thought of lying to Morelli, and in a way playing him.

"Okay, but you keep watch. And don't you dare let me down again!"

Lula tried to look innocent and failed miserably.

We passed the garden gate at the end of the front yard and entered the garden in the back of the house. Lula stepped more or less inconspicuously next to one of the windows and pulled out her gun. In a fluid motion she knocked a huge hole into the glass.

While Lula took position at the garden door, I reached through the hole to unlock and open the door to the terrace.

Then I slipped quickly into the house.

It looked equally swanky from the inside with all those expensive pictures and designer furniture. The only thing that seemed kind of displaced was a swift breeze of an unfathomable malodor which seemed to cloak the air.

But that wasn't the focus of my concern now.

If I ever knew anything about my ex-husband, it was that he didn't like to hide important things in cookie jars, instead he preferred the old-fashioned method of stashing them away somewhere in his study. Thus, I immediately made my way upstairs to search there for interesting indices, but to my chagrin couldn't find any.

When I had rummaged half of the room, Lula entered.

"Hey ya, already found something?"

"Lula, what did I tell you? You're supposed to be outside and keep watch!"

She shrugged. "Yeah, true, but that's so god damn boring. I want to have some action!"

I remained silent and together we searched through the next rooms on the same floor. But still nothing.

Disappointed, we trudged back down to the first floor, when I again smelled something foul. Following my nose, I went to the kitchen. And indeed, the foul stench only intensified.

Lula scrunched up her nose. "Girl, I don't think I like this."

My mind seconded that but the curiosity outweighed the sanity.

I opened the door and a bestial stink embraced us, causing us both to hold our noses.

"Damn," I could hear Lula curse quietly.

I peeked a brief glance into the seemingly not often used kitchen, but couldn't find anything unusual. I turned back to Lula and was about to tell her that no dead bodies were hidden in the room, when my gaze drifted over the kitchen table and a piercing scream escaped my lungs.

Lula cringed and reached for her gun clumsily, while I stared completely shell-shocked at the dead rabbit, lying lifelessly on the table and being pinned to it by a blood-dripping knife.

I quickly called the police and reported the odd occurrence at Dickie's house, before I put my head between my legs, all the while taking deep breaths. It was kind of ironic, I couldn't help but think, that the rabbit had to be lying on the kitchen table that destroyed my marriage.

When I opened my eyes again, Lula was gone.

Figures.

Running out of the room and jumping out onto the street, the grey fumes blew into my face as Lula's Firebird roared to life and hightailed out of my sight.

Frustrated, I let loose several nasty strings of Italian curses before resignedly sitting down on the road curb. Now it was too late for me to flee.

Ten minutes later a police car halted in front of me and Carl Constanza and his partner Big Dog greeted me with similar grins.

"Why am I not surprised that it was you who called to report the discovery of a skewered rabbit on a kitchen table?" Carl asked and the smile on his face seemed to stretch a little wider.

"Yeah, it's been really boring lately. No exploded cars, no exploded Cluck-in-a-Bucket…"

I shot Big Dog my best Burg glare, which didn't do much to impress him.

Damn.

Putting all jokes aside, Carl broke the door open and asked me to show them the way to the dead rabbit. The two of them could barely conceal their disgust and soon after stepped out onto the street again.

Carl shook his head and looked at me through narrowed eyes.

"So, tell me again, Stephanie, how exactly did you get into the house?"

I tried my best at a poker face. I had to buy some time.

"Dickie's my ex-husband. We're still keeping in touch." Avoiding each other like the plague was more like it. "And so he gave me his spare key in case he lost his."

Carl was grinning again. "Nice lie there, but everybody in this town knows that you would have liked nothing more than to send him to hell after one day of marriage."

Yes, and Joyce Barnhardt would have come right after.

His grin turned kind of pained. "Tell me you didn't break in."

"I didn't break in."

"Dammit, Stephanie! How many times do I have to tell you that it's illegal to break into other people's properties?!" Carl cursed and gazed disparagingly at me. "You do know that Morelli isn't going to like any of this, don't you?"

I shifted a little. "He doesn't have to find out."

Carl snorted. "Believe me, he will find out. The police station is the network of tattletales."

As if I didn't know that already. But one could still hope, right?

Big Dog told me to wait, so he could ask me a few more questions, before he and Carl went back to their car and picked up their radio to make a brief report to the police station on the situation at Dickie's house.

I stood there more or less patiently for another few minutes until suddenly a black SUV screeched to a halt a few feet down the road and a furious Morelli jumped out.

Uh-oh.

He stalked over to me and grabbed my arm roughly in order to stop me from moving backwards.

"What the hell is going on here? There I was on my way to an important informant to talk about our actual case, when I hear on my radio that my girlfriend has broken into her ex-husband's house and found a skewered rabbit on his table!"

"Kitchen table," I smartly pointed out.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" he yelled.

I actually flinched in surprise and put my hands on my hips. "There's no reason for you to yell at me like that."

He threw his hands into the air in apparent frustration. "Why me? Why can't God gift me with a girlfriend who I don't have to be constantly worried about?!"

Now I've had enough. "Well, if you crave a obedient housewife this much, why don't you just break up with me and search for one!" I yelled back at him. From the corner of my eyes I could see Carl and Big Dog watching us with worried frowns on their faces; however they didn't dare approach us either.

Morelli's eyes sparkled dangerously. "Well, maybe I'll do that. It would spare me a lot of troubles at the very least. You've violated so many laws in the last years it wouldn't even surprise me if it was the last straw and they send you to prison!"

I took a couple of deep, calming breaths and counted mentally to ten.

"Are you having a bad day?" I asked forcibly composed.

He didn't move a muscle. "What's with you and Ranger?"

Okay, now I was confused. "Huh?"

„Don't act innocent!" he all of a sudden was yelling again. "Do you honestly think I don't know what's between the two of you?! Do you think I'm that stupid? There's constantly one of his goons protecting you! Every time something happens he gives you a new, shiny, oh so expensive car! And you wok together on every damn FTA!"

Well, this was certainly unexpected.

"I'm driving a Buick, in case you're blind!" I exclaimed, all previous calmness forgotten. "And there's nobody protecting me now, is there? Or do you honestly I'd still be here?" I was shocked as unbidden tears gathered in my eyes.

He saw it as well and seemed to calm down considerably. His own eyes widened and he moved to stroke my face. "Shit, Cupcake…"

I shook my head vehemently and drew back. "All we ever do is fight…"

"Cupcake-"

"… And you have no right to say all those things. Ranger has always been there for me. He's one of the most important persons in my life and I don't see why I should give him up just because of your jealousy."

His eyes hardened. "So that's how it is, isn't it? You pick him over me."

My breath hitched in my throat. "I wasn't aware I had to make a choice," I replied carefully.

He gazed steadily at me. "Now you do."

I couldn't believe it. Was he giving me an ultimatum? "Don't do this, Joe! Don't make me choose between the two of you!"

He laughed humourlessly. "If it's so difficult for you, then you've already made your choice," he coldly said and turned on his heels. Just like that.

A tear leaked out of my eye and I angrily wiped it away. Squaring my shoulders, I took off down the road. I could hear someone call my name, but didn't pause in my step.

Okay, I did tell him to search for a new girlfriend, but I didn't really mean it. I only wanted him to stop bashing me. But apparently I couldn't do anything right in his eyes apart from maybe sex. Sometimes I asked myself, how we could ever become a couple at all.

Not that I had to wonder about this anymore, since this 'off-again' status seemed to be pretty permanent.

0000000000

Two hours later I turned the corner to Vinnie's office and during that time frustration had turned into anger. Why did Lula have to strand me there?

Ranger stood next to the bond's office with Jeanne Ellen Burrows closely at his side. Both of them interrupted their obviously intensive conversation and looked at me. I could feel Ranger's piercing gaze clinging to me like glue, but didn't give him the satisfaction of making eye-contact with him. He could go back to making eye-contact with Jeanne Ellen for all I cared.

I stormed past them and ripped the office door open.

"Lula!"

Somebody gulped loudly.

Marching over to where she sat, I noticed the paler hue on her face.

"You promised me not to leave me behind, again!" I accused.

Helplessly, she shrugged with one shoulder. "Yeah, well, but then you called the cops and I thought they're gonna shake me down like a sardine…"

"So you thought you'd better leave me there?" I crossly said.

Lula shifted her weight a little uneasily. "No, 'course not… Dammit, why're you all huffy? Everything worked out, didn't it? You don't look to me like you're going to stir," she defensively replied.

"Not yet," I muttered under my breath.

"You didn't get into trouble, did you?" Connie piped in for the first time, shooting Lula a disapproving glare.

"Morelli broke up with me."

Lula and Connie's eyes nearly bugged out.

"WHAT?! Why the hell would he do that?!" Connie indignantly exclaimed.

I smiled cynically at Lula. "Not even the little black dress is going to fix this."

I wasn't sure I even wanted to get things fixed up between Morelli and me. His words hurt me and our constant quarrels had been getting to me as well. I was just fed up. I couldn't stand anymore of Morelli's little mind games, and to constantly ask myself if Ranger would actually establish a relationship with me, and most of all I was fed up that the two men in my life could do whatever they wanted and with whoever they wanted, whilst I obviously was good enough for staying at home and act like the perfect housewife! Okay, maybe mostly Morelli thought that. What Ranger's thoughts were, only Ranger himself knew.

"But why?" Lula sputtered. „C'mon, girl, it's not the first time you broke into a house."

Connie wordlessly handed me a donut. Obviously Lula had told her beforehand what happened at Dickie's house.

Angry tears welled up in my eyes. My life seemed to seriously go down the drain.

I shrugged and took the second donut from Connie's hand. She didn't even seem to realise as she was busy tapping her chin with her forefinger.

"At least Dickie is going to get what he deserves. I tell you, the kitchen table is a bad omen for him. And Morelli's going to get it too. You'll see."

The thought of Dickie's kitchen table bringing him bad luck made me grin.

As I left I was feeling infinitely better. I probably should be glad that it was permanently over between Morelli and me. Obviously there had been no future for our relationship since neither he nor I seemed capable of talking about our feelings.

Sighing, I grabbed my purse to fish out my car keys, when I saw somebody leaning against the Buick.

It was Ranger. His whole posture screamed casualty with his arms crossed and his shoulders relaxed, but his eyes gave him away. They were trained on me with an intensity I didn't feel like dealing with now.

I grabbed the car keys and ambled over to the driver's side, where Ranger was standing.

Expectantly I looked at him.

"Babe?" His voice appeared softer than usual.

I tried a smile for his sake, but suspected it came out more like a grimace. Sighing again, I gave up the pretence.

"Could you please step aside? I don't want to have to walk again."

Questioningly he raised an eyebrow, but I just shook my head dismissively.

Suddenly he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me forward, causing me to stumble awkwardly, and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. Dumbfounded, I stilled upon the contact. For one absurd moment I wondered, if maybe Jeanne Ellen was still around and watching us.

Abruptly, I broke away from him and retreated.

Not caring for his searching gaze, I clutched the car keys a little tighter. "Step aside."

Tense silence surrounded us for a long second, before he pushed himself off of the car and walked away.

My shoulders sagged as I climbed into the Buick and started the engine.

Ranger was no better than Morelli. Confusing and frustrating in his own way.

Back in my apartment I settled on the couch with a pizza from Pino's and watched as Ghostbusters flickered across the TV screen.

The light of my answering machine flashed like crazy, but I decided to ignore it for the time being.

And then my phone rang.

I remained sitting on the couch and a few minutes later the answering machine automatically kicked in.

"Stephanie Plum! This is your mother! I'e already left three messages and I don't want to have to leave a fifth one! It is now five o'clock and I expect you to arrive for dinner punctually at six…"

Tiredly, I rubbed both hands over my eyes.

"… And why in God's name did you break up with Joseph? What did you do now that another man left you? Didn't I raise you better?"

I winced. Sometimes I hated the grapevine in the Burg.

"Don't you ever think? This very well may be the last chance to find a husband for you! You'll never be able to give me grandchildren!"

,Is that all you ever think about?' I wanted to scream, but the lump in my throat prevented me from saying it out loud. It didn't matter anyway.

"We'll talk about that at dinner."

Then she hung up.

An hour later I parked the Buick on the opposite street side of my parent's house. Gandma Mazur was already waiting at the door and smiled warmly at me as she led me into the house.

"No matter what she says, I always found the bounty hunter much hotter," she whispered to me as soon as we entered the living room. I looked up and was greeted with a death glare from my mother. Great.

I said a general hello and kissed my father on his stubbly cheek.

As we all took our seats for dinner, Grandma Mazur turned to me with excitement evident in her voice.

"I've heard of the incident with the rabbit. The phone wouldn't stand still the whole day. Anyway, hat happened to your ex-husband, the weeny?"

My mother pursed her lips, but didn't say anything.

"Dickie's disappeared. Vinnie bailed for him und gave me the case."

"And so you broke into Dickie's house and found the rabbit on his kitchen table! Man, what a mess," Grandma Mazur said. "You should've called me."

Definitely not.

Finally, my mother opened her mouth to, undoubtedly, scold me, but was drowned out by my sister's husband.

"Dickie?" Albert Kloughn furrowed his brow.

"Dickie Orr," Valerie helpfully supplied and dabbed at his face with a napkin.

Albert's face lighted up like light bulb.

"Of course! Dickie Orr! The best attorney in Trenton, what am I saying, the whole country! Boy, I wish I was like him. Have you ever seen him at court? He's amazing! So cunning and ice-cold… He takes on the most difficult cases and yet wins each and every one of it. Well, almost at least. He does, doesn't he? He recently even brought some mafia member into prison. By, he's my hero."

Silence.

Everyone was gauging my reaction – except Albert.

Valerie kicked him under the table, making him yowl painfully.

"Honey-pie, what was that for… oh!"

He looked gloomily at me. "I'm sorry, Stephanie… Of course he's an idiot. A loser, yes, that's what he is. No wonder with those guys he's always hanging around…"

I pricked my ears and cut in Kloughn's flood of words.

"What guys?"

Kloughn blinked. „Well, I saw him a few times at the laundrette with a tall, haggard blond guy and a small bald one. They looked pretty young though…"

The descriptions weren't very helpful.

"Do you know their names?"

Albert scratched his neck. "No idea. I'd never seen them before. I only saw them regularly with Cickie Orr…"

The laundrette? Why would they meet each other in a laundrette? Or was it just a coincidence? If those two guys were young, it appeared understandable that they would wash their clothes in a laundrette.

I shook my head free of those thoughts. I was probably reading too much into it anyway.

The doorbell chimed.

It seemed that everybody thought the same of who the visiter could be.

My mother smiled for the first time this evening and Grandma Mazur rifled through her purse, before walking to the door, revolver in hand.

"No! Grandma Mazur!"

My mother hastily stood and rushed after.

"Let her be," my father all of a sudden spoke up and I turned to him in surprise. Usually, he was the one who scolded Grandma Mazur for her crazy actions. "That Morelli has been upsetting you for years. Nobody hurts one of my girls."

And with those words he put his fork and knife down on the table and followed after Grandma Mazur to the door.

Voices wafted over to Vaerlie, Kloughn and me, but we couldn't understand what was said. I felt bad for sending my family ahead to deal with my, well, ex-boyfriend, but was gladall the same not to have to face Morelli.

Valerie put a hand on my shoulder in apparent concern.

"Maybe it'd be better if you left. This will probably soon break out into a huge fight because of Morelli and you and I don't think you'll want to witness that."

The corners of my mouth lifted themselves weakly into a strained smile. I hugged her tightly in farewell.

"I think it's better that you're separated. He isn't good enough for you; he never was."

I was astonished that my sister had worried about me and that she advised me not to patch things up with Morelli.

I left through the backdoor and walked around the house to the front. Crossing the street to the Buick, I could see Morelli passionately debating with Grandma Mazur – by now he had taken the revolver from her – while my father stood unmoveable like a rock behind her, an unrelenting expression on his face.

My mother was nowhere to be seen.

Morelli seemed agitated and every few moments he would run a hand through his dishevelled hair. I felt a twinge of regret about how things now stood between us, but I couldn't find in me any regret that it ended.

I waved goodbye to my father and Grandma Mazur, and quickly hopped into the Buick, before Morelli could reach me.

I was just running across the parking lot in front of my apartment building, when Morelli caught my wrist and spun me around to him.

"Stephanie, we have to talk…" Morelli began.

I tried to yank my hand free, but his grip wouldn't loosen.

"I don't want to talk with you! I've had enough of you!"

His grip tightened in response. "What do you have enough of?"

I only yanked harder.

"Talk to me, Stephanie!" He almost sounded desperate.

"Let go of me, Joe! I don't want to talk to you right now. Just leave me alone."

Morelli clenched his jaw and released my wrist. Without sparing him a glance, I whirled around and headed inside the building. Back in my apartment, I grabbed a beer and lay down on the couch.

0000000000

It was still dark when I woke up. There was a prickling sensation tingling down my spine that told me that I wasn't alone though.

I used my hands to silently estimate my situation. As far as I could tell, I was still on the couch, but a blanket had been draped over me.

My heart beat wildly as I carefully sat up and stilled immediately as I felt another body move behind me. Soft lips touched my neck and made me shiver, until a strong hand started to gently stroke my shoulders.

"What are you doing here, Ranger?" I asked a little breathless.

He tugged my shirt down a few inches and kissed my exposed shoulder blade.

"Visiting you," was all he said, and wrapped an arm around my waist to haul me into his lap.

"Why?" I asked, gasping as his breath tingled my ear.

All of a sudden I felt secure in his embrace and rested the back of my head on his shoulder. It was a pleasant feeling – especially after my emotionally challenging day.

"I wanted to see you, Babe."

I closed my eyes with a sigh, as his hand disappeared under my shirt and leisurely drew circles on my belly.

"What happened this afternoon?" he asked.

Still enjoying his ministrations, I gave him the short version of my visit at Dickie's office, my search through his house and the finding of the rabbit.

After my voice faded away, we sat still for a while in the darkness. It felt surprisingly comfortable and nice to just be in Ranger's presence – without the guilt of thinking of Morelli.

"What about Morelli?"

I automatically tensed up. I didn't want to have another conversation about my ex-boyfriend, but it seemed inevitable.

"Nothing," I said, but unfortunately my tone wavered more than I would have liked.

Ranger pressed a small kiss into my hair.

"Should I shoot him?"

His voice rumbled through my back and a slightly hysterical giggle escaped my lips that soon turned into dry sobs. Ranger's arms pulled me closer to him and I could feel his voice rumble through my back as he spoke.

"What happened?" He inquired again.

"He broke up with me on the street. Said he'd go search for a "normal" girlfriend…"

His arms tensed around me. I laid my head into the crook of his neck and mentally reviewed my past with Morelli.

"We've always fought about the same things: my job and you. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having an 'on-again, off-again' relationship and I'm sick of him always criticising me. Why should I change who I am?"

Ranger brushed some hair behind my ear. "Morelli loves you. He's afraid to lose you."

I snorted. "His job isn't any more innocuous than mine! But still I don't try to make him quit!"

I could feel him take a deep breath and I was secretly surmised by this show of emotion.

"He doesn't attract disaster like you do. You don't have to constantly fear if some lunatic blew up his car while still sitting in it. And you don't have to go through the day knowing he's chasing criminals without any form of weapon."

Ranger paused and removed his hands from my body. At the same time, he seemed to retreat emotionally as well.

Had Ranger just spoken solely about Morelli or maybe also about himself?

"You thought about working for me again?" he finally changed the subject.

I'd probably sit behind a desk all day again. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, considering running after lunatics was tiring, and at least Ranger paid me more than well. Morelli would probably fume, but since it didn't matter anymore what he thought, I considered Ranger's offer a bit more seriously than before. Desk work was boring, but I wouldn't have to worry about monthly rent or things getting blown up in my vicinity.

"My men miss the culinary change when you're there," Ranger said with no small amount of amusement in his voice.

Oh, how nice.

"And they miss having you around," he added.

I turned my head and for the first time cursed the darkness that still surrounded us.

"What about you? Do you miss having me around as well?" I asked and silently hoped that he for once wouldn't evade my question.

But of course he did.

His whole body tensed up and I could practically feel him build up all those emotional barriers around him.

Normally, now would have been the time where I change the topic and give him a getaway. But not this time. I needed answers, not playful innuendoes or quick excuses. Just the truth.

A few minutes passed by and still he didn't say anything, when suddenly his pager beeped. Shortly hesitating, he eventually took it out and read the display.

Gently, he grabbed my hips and positioned me next to him on the couch before rising himself.

"I have to go, Babe." His lips touched mine sensually.

"Think about the job," he said and I heard him move farther away. "I'm sure Morelli and you will work things out again."

I heard the front door shut closed behind him and felt more terrible than ever before.

Was I some toy for the two men in my life? To play with and cast aside whenever they wanted? Did they even feel anything for me?

I didn't know.

I knew nothing anymore except that I desperately needed a carload full of donuts.