Chapter 4: Planted Seeds

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Severus Snape was in love with Lily.

Of course, to most with a keen eye, this wasn't that big of a secret. Snape had always been left somewhat outside the inner loop of his housemates as they frequently questioned why he would even bother talking to a "filthy mudblood" as they would call her. Almost every time this occurred, Snape would get angry and resist with extreme strength to send some kind of hex spiraling towards his fellow Slytherins. Usually, his resistance paid off, and they would let it go – allowing Snape to have his Slytherin friends and keep Lily in his life.

But, as the times were changing, he noticed many of them becoming more distant, and he had understood all too well Lily speech about not being able to fit in. He had suspected many of his friends to becoming death eaters, a group of Lord Voldemort's loyal followers. Snape had thought about being a death eater… all the power he could possess…power that may impress a certain someone he had been after for as long as he could remember.

And his meeting with Avery and Mulciber had confirmed his suspicions. They were asking him to join, Snape being one of the most brightest in the school – already on his way to becoming a master of potions, an adequate healer and accomplished legilimens. He would 'undoubtedly be a great asset to the Dark Lord' they had said. Of course, Snape needed time to think it over. He knew Lily would disapprove of him joining these dark forces, but he also knew that if he declined he would be an outcast – just like Lily. Except that Lily had Remus… and he was truly alone.

No, he would join them. He just wouldn't tell her yet.

However, Lily was a smart witch - she would figure it out eventually. But perhaps - he had thought - after awhile she would come to accept it.

Snape still sat in the library, apparently the last quiet place left in the castle now that the quidditch match was over and several students felt like broadcasting play-by-play details loudly in the halls. He let a sneer play across his pallid face as he thought about the two idiot seekers and their competition – silly games for silly children. He was much to busy for things of that nature.

Then again, he was never too busy to loathe Remus Lupin…

"Severus! You'll never believe what just happened!" said Lily, walking up to Snape, who was sitting under his favorite willow tree by the lake, face deeply immersed in a sixth year potions book. He glanced up to see an over enthused Lily, bounding towards him giddy and full of joy, taking great leaps to reach her destination quicker. He face was flushed and she had a large grin plastered across her face – he had never her seen her quite this happy before.

Snape, taking a quick scan of his surroundings (more importantly, to see if there was a lack of 'green' around), closed his book and watched Lily come closer, "Potter and Lupin have finally managed to kill themselves in a duel?" he asked, noting there may be a little too much eagerness in his voice.

Lily stopped in front of Snape, catching her breath while plopping down next to him.

"No silly," said Lily her smile as bright as ever, "Remus just asked me out to Hogsmeade this weekend!"

Snape's face fell and he felt his insides twist up unpleasantly. Through clenched teeth he managed an, "Oh?"

Lily started shaking her head up and down like a child who had been asked if they would want an ice cream cone. The fact that this moment made Lily that happy also bothered Snape immensely.

"Yes! He just asked me not too long ago!" she said as she leaned against the tree, and looked up at the sky, "Isn't it just wonderful? I mean, I thought – well I knew, really – I fancied him, but I didn't know if he fancied me as well... we were only just friends you see…"

Snape barely listened to Lily go on and on about how much she liked Remus (along with listing various physical traits of him she liked the most), and what exactly had happened the moment he asked her, and what her other friends thought. In fact he had gone as far as thinking to cast a muffliato charm on himself, because the buzzing would be better than hearing Lily talk about Lupin.

"Don't you think he's just too… full of himself?" Snape cut in amidst Lily's rambling.

"Well… no, I don't think so…" said Lily slowly, biting her lower lip, "I see where you might think so, but I've gotten to know him over the years, Sev. It's all just that silly rivalry he's got going on with Potter. He's really not that bad. He's actually pretty funny and charming and-"

"Alright. I get it," said Snape, putting his book into a bag and standing up quickly, "Look, I need to head inside… I forgot my … parchment… and I need to finish our potions essay…" Snape started mumbling his words.

Lily looked up at Snape puzzled at his hasty departure, "Oh… ok Sev. I'll talk to you later than…"

Snape wheeled around to face the castle and started walking, pounding each of his feet onto the earth and upset that a louder noise couldn't be made from them.

Stupid Lupin and stupid Hogsmeade…he thought in his head as he reached the castle hallways, Why on EARTH would she think I'd be interested in hearing about that, anyways?

The memory had hit him like a ton of bludgers to the face, as he remembered where most of his hatred for Lupin stemmed from. He shook off the memory and went back to looking up books on ancient magic, his goals to find new spells and get his mind of Lily Evans.

And, who better to help him keep his mind off Lily Evans than…

"Stupid competitive… conceited… thinks the world revolves around him…"

He could detect that high-pitched voice from a mile away. He groaned slightly as his attempts to block Lily from his mind were once again futile.

Lily stormed in there, visibly upset for the second time that day in the library. She received some questionable stares from other students who were quietly studying, but she ignored them all and once again placed herself in the seat opposite Snape. Snape sighed and looked at Lily with weary eyes.

"Something the matter?" he asked, a subtle hint of sarcasm in his voice. He was somewhat amused, but this fact he kept to himself.

Lily just looked at him before slamming her hands loudly onto the table.

"I've had it Severus! I've just about had it!" said Lily loudly, as people around them began clearing their throats suggestively and some even went as far as to usher a "shhh!" in their direction. Snape looked around, slightly embarrassed and leaned in closer to Lily, "You might to keep it down, lest you forget where we are…"

"If he just listened to me for ONE minute! One minute! Instead of being such a … such a…arghhh!" Lily was fuming and clearly ignoring Snape's warning.

"Don't you have someone you can talk to… maybe in your common room or dormitory?" Snape pleaded with Lily as he suspected the librarian would be over to kick them out at any minute.

Lily let out an exasperated sigh and collapsed her head onto the table.

"No… stupid party for the stupid team," said Lily's muffled voice from the desk.

Snape, against his better judgment, decided to stay in his chair rather than find yet another excuse to leave. Then as the wheels carefully began turning in his head, he had a brilliant idea. Perhaps he may be able to spin this situation to benefit him.

"It seems like you've been quite upset over this relationship Lils," said Snape, a new caring undertone in his voice, "Are you sure you're alright?"

Lily looked up at Snape and blinked a few times before sitting up straight.

"I don't know Severus… you of all people know how much Remus means to me…"

"-But you hardly ever seem happy anymore" Snape cut in, as he feared the conversation may take a path he'd try his best to avoid.

Lily started blankly at an invisible spot that looked like it may have been just beside Snape, and noticing Lily's strange expression, Snape looked next to him to see if she could see something he couldn't.

"But I-" she began, but Snape was determined to cut her off yet again.

"But nothing, Lily!" said Snape firmly, "Have you two argued like this before you were … dating?" He said the last word as if he had tasted some completely disgusting potion.

"Well… no-" she started slowly, the stillness of her eyes giving off the feeling that she was lost in thought.

"No! Exactly…" said Snape, "Maybe this is a sign, Lily. A sign that you and Lupin-"

"Remus…" said Lily lazily, her eyes not moving from this fixed spot. She hated how boys would constantly use last names as a sign of disrespect to talk to one another.

"Remus…" Snape continued, taking another imaginary sip of that awful tasting potion, "A sign that you and Remus may not work out so well after all…"

Bah. Love. He hated talking about 'feelings' and love, and he had put his best 'sensitive' face on and spewed as much about it as he possibly could without getting physically sick.

All he had to do was plant that seed of doubt in her head.

Lily just stared. They sat in silence for a good moment, the sound of shuffling parchment, quills busily scratching and an occasional cough, were the only sounds surrounding them in the library. Snape waited, an eager look in his eyes.

"I…" Lily finally began, he eyes finally locking with Snape, "I think you're right."

A/N: Thanks for sticking with this, I'll have more to update very soon! :)