Young Justice Roadtrip Chapter 4
Saturday November 27th
Day 1 and a half
"Artemis. Dick. One more word and I will drop kick you to Metropolis and when I get there I boot you back," Bruce said grabbing a bunch of items off the shelves and putting them into the trolley.
"Bruce I want custard!" Dick said grabbing Bruce's shirt.
"No!"
"Please!" Dick said giving Bruce the best puppy eyes he could.
"No,"
"Bruce I want red snakes!" Artemis said holding up 4 packets of red snakes.
"No Artemis,"
"Fine then I'll tell Ollie and get him to shove an arrow where the sun don't shine!" Artemis said grabbing her cell from her pocket.
"Fine you can have red snakes," Bruce said putting milk and yoghurt into the cart.
"If she gets red snakes I get CUSTARD!" Dick yelled at Bruce.
"No Dick,"
"Fine then I'll call PETA about all them animals, Better yet I'll call Diana," Dick said pulling out his cell and calling Diana.
"You're bluffing Dick, why would she give you her number," Bruce said with a smile on his face.
"Hello, This is Diana who is this? Hello?" Bruce quickly grabbed the phone and closed it quickly putting it into his pocket.
"FINE! You can get your custard," Bruce said letting Dick run off to get his custard.
10 Minutes past without a word and without seeing the two spawns of hell. Bruce was getting suspicious. What could happen in that amount of time? Uh Oh... Someone could be dead. Time to run. He abandoned the shopping cart for the search of the two devils. He was unable to find them but he could have sworn he heard the devious cackling of his protégé, near the freezer, which was near the butchers, which made Bruce scared for his life.
Dick was having the time of his life. Building his fort sure was fun, especially since the party pooper wasn't here. The cold was also a problem that could be fixed by three coats from the clothing department. He could see Artemis recording this to put on YouTube later but at the moment she had a live conference going on with Kaldur, Wally and Conner. They were laughing at the Teletubies though, or was it because he was currently sitting in the carton fortress in the freezer? Hm, he guessed he would never know.
When the manager walked past Artemis thought they would be banned for life, but when he looked at the fort and Dick made some rabid Raccoon noise he started to walk quickly in the other direction away.
"Rob, have you gone feral or something?" Wally asked over the phone after he had stopped laughing at the poor clerk.
"He can't hear you when he is like this. I think he wants to protect his "Precious" custard. Oh you should have seen Batman's face when I told him GA was gonna put an arrow where the suns don't shine! Classic!" Artemis laughed at the all to recent memory
"Poor Bat's he's probably going to drop you in the desert and floor it out of there," Wally said over the phone watching Dick through milk at people and Teletubies custard at kids.
"What are the blobs of colour suppose to be?" Conner asked referring to the Teletubies.
"Dude I can't believe you have never seen Teletubies!" Wally practically yelled through the phone to Conner.
"Who thinks that this is YouTube gold?" Artemis laughed to the others as she saw Dick retreating into his fortress to hide from something.
"Um, Artemis? I do believe you should turn around," Kaldur suggested when Dick had retreated.
"Why? It's not like it could be- Oh boy its Bruce," Artemis said turning around to see the unhappy billionaire.
"Dick? Don't worry I won't hurt you, much" Bruce said trying to grab the boy from his fort.
"So what is it called on YouTube, Artemis?" Wally asked the archer.
"Monkey Child In Wal-Mart?" Artemis replied to Wally's question.
"Wow 100,000 likes already?" Wally looked replaying the footage on his phone.
"Wow. Dick is going to love this, as, you know, as soon as he gets out of the freezer," Artemis said recording part 2 of the Monkey Child saga.
"I feel sorry for Bruce, but this sure is funny as hell!" Wally said over the phone.
"I know right, all we need now is a clown suit and the Commissioner in a Batman costume and were set!" Artemis said laughing at the billionaire trying to fish his adopted son from out of the freezer.
"Who are they taking pictures?" Kaldur asked looking to the right of his screen to see some of the more wealthy kids from Gotham Academy where both Artemis and Dick attended as poor scholarship receiving students. Dick never wanted to be one of the popular kids so he said he got the scholarship along with his friend Barbara Gordon. When Artemis first went to the school she was treated as a rich kid, nowadays along with Dick and Barbara they got slushied in the face and were given swirlies.
"Just some idiots from the school that I go to. Two of them are related to the men on the board at Wayne Industries," Artemis said moving over to help Bruce get Dick out of his fortress which he had got a box of sharpies and officially named "FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE- NO GIRLS OR BRUCE ALOWWED!" this made Artemis take a separate picture and send to M'Gann and tell her what she was missing out on.
"Hey Dick, do you want to check out the items at the checkout? And if you do want to help get, oh i don't know, your darn custard already," Artemis said to the boy and helping Bruce pull out the stubborn ward of the billionaire.
"Yay! You're it! Race you to the cart!" Dick said grabbing 12 bottles of custard and running past Artemis and Bruce towards the check out area and Bruce's deserted trolley with said two hurrying along behind the boy.
"Hey Sexy! Your Hot Baby! Dump Them Losers And I Can Show You A Good Time!" was all the responses that were given to Artemis and Bruce when Artemis walked past the kids from Gotham Academy.
"Who's that Artemis?" Wally yelled through the phone which made the boys crack up laughing at Artemis.
"All you can afford huh? No wonder Scolie!" One of the boys said to Artemis as she quickly muted her end of the phone so that they could not hear what Wally was saying.
"Well at least I can afford a phone. So tell me Brock how is the cardboard box overlooking Arkham this time of year huh?" Artemis asked the head boy known as Brock trying her best not to take notice of Dick who was behind the group making faces behind their backs. Some girls had joined the group all of them being off the cheerleading team. Artemis was trying to think why he was taking the pose of Ceaser, or what he was doing with ten rats, two snakes, one bird and twenty or so live bugs of many different varieties and why was he trying to get higher above the crowd of people who were currently outnumbering the lone archer and caped crusader.
"Better that that alley next to the strip club where your currently living at," Brock said getting a few yeahs from the group.
"TRICK OR TREAT!" Dick yelled jumping down tipping the box of different creepy crawlies over the group's head which was given a scream from everyone and Artemis and Dick laughing their heads off.
"Time to go now," Bruce said hearding off Artemis and Dick off with the trolley that Dick had grabbed and headed towards the checkout.
10 minutes later
"Dick, put up all the groceries for me. I will be back in a minute," Bruce said eyeing 4 twenty six year olds and stated walking after them before changing his objective to one Miss Selina Kyle.
"What was that all about?" Artemis asked speaking for the people still listening over the phone.
"If I know my sources are always correct, which I do know, that is Selina and Bruce is looking for his, um, keep it G-rated Dick, Hunny-Bug," Dick said putting some random items onto the counter.
"Oh, in other words a new conq- OWCH! KALDUR THAT HURT LIKE HELL!" Wally yelled over the phone to Kaldur who was standing right next to him back at the Cave.
"Thankyou Kaldur. By the way what did you hit and or kick?" Artemis said to Kaldur ignoring Wally's cries of hurt and desperation to find something to help heal himself quicker then what he would already do.
"We'll have this, and this, and this, not this Bruce can do without," Dick went on putting random items onto the counter labelling them so that only Artemis and his stuff would go into the bags and be paid for.
"What is Dick doing?" Kaldur asked forgetting about Artemis' question that he was suppose to answer and was looking at the camera in his phone which was displaying Dick throwing random things away and treating things like they were his life and looking after them with care.
"Sorting, I think but I don't really know what he is doing other than throwing out everything not filled with sugar or some type of fats and all of the stuff I put in," Artemis said starting a new recording titled World's Craziest Sorting.
"This In, This Out, This In, This Out, This In, This Out. All of these in, and all of these in too," Dick said throwing random things onto the belt and dumping three of the boxes of chocolate that are normally found at the front counters as a bribery option for kids used by parents so they wouldn't need to go back to the sugar department with said kids.
"When Bruce finds out you are going to be so dead my friend Dickie Bird," Wally said over the phone obviously recovered from Kaldur's hit and punch.
"Like I said he won't be able to hear you while he is like this," Artemis said getting obviously bored of Wally's repetitive questions.
"Bruce took out the waffles! He is so mean!" Dick said looking into the empty trolley to see nothing left.
"That will be $1027.57 thanks," The checkout lady said politely.
"Give yourself a large tip too," Richard said handing her $1500 and the women thanking the young man.
"Dude! Why did you do that?" Wally asked looking at the women with the money.
"One word, Bruce's Money," Dick said walking out to the parking lot towards the RV.
"Isn't that more like two words though?" Wally asked concerned counting how many words there were on his fingers.
"Shut-Up..." Dick said riding past Artemis on the trolley and crashing into the RV.
"RICHARD!" Two voices shouted at the boy at the same time sounding rather angry.
"I FOUND THAT SQUIRRLE! AUNTIE SHAYERA AND AUNTIE DIANA ARE SOOO GOING TO KILL YOU BRUCE!" Dick yelled looking at the front tyre.
"Get in the RV before I kill you Richard," Bruce said pointing into the van.
"Where are we going?" Artemis asked sitting next to the grumpy and upset billionaire.
"Metroplis!"
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A/N-
Sorry it took so long to update & chaos is sure to ensue next chapter.
If you could please leave a review to tell me what you would like in the story and what characters you would like to see that would be great.
I am going to start a competition next chapter and I will fill you in then, until that time keep on reviewing XD