Chapter Four: Cars and Wal-Mart Fun

(Part 4 of 5)

--Parking Garage--

As they made there way out of the elevator into the garage, Sheppard took the lead, since it was his car they were taking. He led them through the maze of rows of cars. The spaces closest to the elevator, of course were reserved for the high-ranking members of the military stationed at the SGC. Three entire rows were filled with black cars used for official SGC business, and the rest of the garage was filled with an assortment of vehicles driven by the remaining employees of the mountain. Finally, they arrived at an out of the way corner of the garage. Only a few cars were parked in the dimly lit row; a battered looking Ford pick-up that had obviously seen better days, a vintage looking white VW Beetle Bug, and tucked away in the corner a black BMW convertible that was barely discernable in the light.

McKay, who was getting sick of walking around the garage quipped, "You must have mad a lot of people mad to have your personal parking space put all the way out here."

"No, I could have parked fairly close to the elevator, but I chose not to thank you very much," replied Sheppard with an eye roll.

Rodney walked over the first car which was the Bug, "Hmm lets figure out what the surprise ride it. Well, Herbie over here doesn't seem like the type you'd drive. Unless of course you were going for the whole race car thing."

Teyla shot John a confused look and asked, "Herbie?"

John who had stopped and leaned against a column to let McKay appraise each car, folded his arms, and replied, "Don't ask. We'll watch it on our next team movie night."

Ronon who was standing next to the colonel replied, "Uh I don't think I will fit in that thing, it's too small." Referring to the size of the Bug.

Next McKay walked up the old Ford pick-up. "Now this is pathetic looking. I can see why you'd be too embarrassed to park up near the elevator. Hey Ronon, at least you'll fit in this."

Sheppard, who still had an amused look on his face turned to Ronon and said, "Yeah, he's right. You would fit in that thing."

Finally Rodney walked up behind the Beemer. "Now, this is cool," he said as he inspected it further, "Whoa, a black 2007 Z4 3.0 si Roadster. Holy crap, I envy who owns this car."

Ronon walked over to join Rodney said, "Hmm now this is nice. It looks like something your James Bond would drive."

"Oooh let me guess, you park out here just so you can catch a glimpse of this everyday," began McKay pointing towards the convertible before heading backs towards the Ford, "Well let's all pile into the piece of crap Sheppard drives."

"No, I park out here because I don't like door-dings Rodney," replied John solemnly hitting the unlock button on his key fob causing the lights of the BMW to flash. "For someone who professes to be a genius, you can be pretty stupid sometimes."

Rodney turned looking from the car to John, looking dumbfounded. Ronon grinned, and Teyla looked like she was trying to not smile at McKay.

McKay however quickly turned from looking angry to looking quite amused at himself, "Oh Sheppard, this car of yours only seats two."

John shrugged and replied, "I know that, but you wanted to know what I drove. All you whining in the elevator ride here confirmed that."

Rodney shot back a sarcastic retort, "Oh yeah so what, two of us are walking?"

"No, we just split up and meet at the store. Your car is parked here too if I am not mistaken."

"Shotgun," said Ronon triumphantly standing next to the passenger seat of the sports car.

"Very well," replied Teyla shooting a dark look at Ronon, "Dr. McKay and I will meet you at the market. I am sure whatever he drives is perfectly acceptable." She said taking McKay by the arm and began to lead him back the way they had come towards the office by the elevator so he could retrieve his keys.

--McKay's Car--

They had gone back to pick up Rodney's keys and soon after Teyla had found herself in the passenger seat of a navy Chevy suburban with a disgruntled McKay heading down the highway.

"How did he afford that thing?" rambled McKay as he drove. "He must not have spent much when he lived in Antarctica and then there's all the Atlantis pay. But still ….."

"Rodney, calm down," replied Teyla, "You are not jealous are you?"

"Of course I am!" replied Rodney forcefully as he exited the highway onto the street leading to the store, "It's just not fair."

A few minutes later McKay pulled into the parking lot to find that Wal-Mart was fairly busy that afternoon. Oh boy, let the fun begin, though Rodney to himself. His musings were interrupted at a sight he found at the back of the parking lot removed from the other cars. Oh my god, thought Rodney, for all he could do was watch as a black convertible did doughnuts in uninhabited section of the lot. He could just barely see the occupants of the vehicle, but he could see the dreadlocks of the guy in the passenger seat streaming out.

Teyla turned to him and asked, "What is that car doing? That's not the Colonel and Ronon is it?"

Rodney parked his car near a light pole in the back of the lot, and he and Teyla got out. Seconds later the convertible pulled in a space away from theirs. Both occupants were looking pleased with themselves as they exited the car.

"See Ronon, aren't you glad you didn't ride with McKay?" joked John.

Rodney stepped forward and glared at the two of them, "You are so immature Sheppard."

"I know." Replied John smiling, "At least I know how to have a little fun, and can pick out a good car. A suburban McKay? Why?"

Teyla had the good sense to intervene at this point and asked, "Shall we get started. I know we are due back at Atlantis in a couple of hours."

They boys looked a little guilty in her direction before starting to make their way towards the entrance of the store. "Oh yeah, ix nay on the whole Atlantis and other world thing," said John quietly to the two aliens.

"Of course." Replied both nodding in agreement as they walked into Wal-Mart. As they entered the store, the greater welcomed them to Wal-Mart and Ronon shot him a dark look that sent the man quickly moving away from the team.

"Geeze Conan, you don't have to scare everybody off," whined McKay as attempted to pull a cart from the long row next to the entrance. To which the Runner replied un-sticking the difficult basket for the scientist with ease, "He seemed shifty to me."

"Okay kids, we'll get this done faster if we split up and get everything we need that way," commented John handing half the list to Rodney. "We'll probably fill up more than one cart anyway. Hey Ronon, why don't you help McKay? Teyla and I will work on the other part of the list." They all agreed to the logic of the plan, but not before McKay complained to all, "I hate grocery shopping."

--Wal-Mart Isle--

Ronon had never seen so many items of food at one time, in one place before. He had to pay careful attention though, to the colorful labels as he tried to locate the few items he needed for his dish. Whenever he would throw something into the cart McKay was driving, the scientist would start to badger him again about what exactly he was going to make. He also noticed that even though the store was filled with people, they all seemed to make plenty of room for him. The children seemed to stare in awe at him before their mothers would grab their hands saying, 'it's not polite to stare honey,' and lead them away from the 'scary man with long hair.' McKay just laughed whenever this happened, but Ronon shrugged it off.

There were perks to shopping with Ronon, though McKay to himself. He sure makes it easier to get around by scaring off all the evil moms who are too pokey. It was true, however. Normally, when Rodney would go shopping he'd have to wait patiently for them to move about their business. However, Rodney was not a patient fellow and could not stand them as they deliberated which cereal to buy, or what sauce was on sale. So occasionally, a sarcastic comment would slip out, and he would offend some people a little. Sometimes this turning into all out rivalry as both respective parties finished their shopping, making it as difficult for each other to achieve their goals as possible. But, with Ronon around they never tried to respond or show offence at all.

Unfortunately for Rodney a bit of bad luck hit him. Ronon was recruited by some cute and rather daring brunette to get something for her from the top shelf, the Runner was only too happy to help. McKay was left without his large shadow for a few minutes. During this time he finally found the obscure spice that Radek wanted for his dish. As luck would have it, there was only one container left. Rodney reached up to grab it off the shelf, but collided mid swipe with a rather menacing looking old lady.

"Um, excuse me. Just trying to reach something," said Rodney in his normal tone. However the old lady was tougher than most and replied, "Oh yes, let me move out of the way for you young man. I just need this spice." She said as she plucked the spice container right out from under McKay's grasp.

"Hey, I was going to pick that up," whined McKay glaring at the old lady.

The lady put on an innocent look and replied, "Oh, I am sorry, but I really need this. I am on my second bi-monthly shopping trip and need it for a special dish."

"I don't care, but look lady I really need that spice. Trust me when I say, I go to store less than you do," snarked McKay trying to grab the spice back from the old lady's basket.

However, at that moment Ronon walked back and tapped McKay on the shoulder. Rodney spun around, giving the old lady a chance to quickly exit the isle with her prize. "McKay why are you terrorizing that old woman?"

Rodney huffed, "I am not terrorizing her. She sneakily stole the spice Radek wants for his dish. It's the last one. Thanks, now you let her escape."

Ronon looked at the shelf, "No McKay, Look there's another one way in the back, see? I'll get it." The runner reached his arm into the far reaches of the spice shelf, and when he removed his hand it was holding the needed spice Radek wanted. "There, let's move on," said Ronon as he tossed the spice into the cart. The two continued to pick up the necessary items from their list.

--Wal-Mart Isle--

Teyla had shopped on many worlds and in many different markets before, but this place called Wal-Mart was the best by far that she had ever been to. Everything was here, and all packaged colorfully in a way that was pleasing to the eyes. The people were friendly to…many mothers and their children getting the things they needed. However, it was hard for her to adjust since all one had to do was put the item they needed in the cart. There was no bartering involved and the concept of paying with money at the front was odd to her. Not all the people that she saw were nice though. Some of the children especially seemed to have little respect for their elders and would wine and complain if they did not get what they wanted. She asked John about his and replied that many of the people on his world were quite spoiled. Especially those that lived in his country, there was little to threaten their way of life. She marveled at the easy going nature of the people shopping there.

One thing that also struck Teyla was the type of people shopping. They were mostly woman, and a lot of them seemed to give her envious looks. It didn't dawn on her until she started noticing how they would look, well stare at John, and then back at her jealously. She wondered if this was that Kirk thing that Rodney always teased him about. She almost wanted to point out that they were only good friends, she realized that perhaps these women assumed too much.

Finally, they had completely their portion of the shopping list and set out to find the other half of their team. It was easy to spot the two guys, because they could hear Rodney before they saw him. Fortunately they had finished their shopping as well, so the four of them headed to the check-out line. Unfortunately, the situation of open check out lines was no different than normal. Even though there were many stations to choose from, only a handful were open. Since they had two very full carts of items to purchase, the 12 Items or Less line wasn't going to cut it. They settled in to wait at the back of the line for station number 26.

--Check-Out Number 26--

Rodney hated grocery shopping. All the people who were too indecisive bothered him. Once he finally had gathered all of the needed items, there was the infernal wait at the check-out line. He hated lines with a passion. McKay was staring off looking as some of the trashy tabloids that lined the front of the check-out when he realized that the line had not moved up for some time. The person currently checking out was taking forever. Rodney looked up and cringed as he saw that it was the evil old lady from the spice isle pulling out her coupons and making sure each one was entered in correctly. "God, is this ever going to end," he whined loudly to no one in particular.

Unfortunately he said this a little too loudly as the old hag turned around to glare at him, obviously having heard his comment. "Just a minute, I think I have another couple of coupons in here," said the old lady sweetly to the cashier eliciting a groan from everyone in the line as she started to dig around in her purse again.

"Smooth McKay, now we are going to be here for forever, and a day," drawled Sheppard.

Rodney looked positively outraged, "Well she's the evil lady from the spice isle who is taking forever. I can't help I'm impatient!"

Ten minutes later after the old lady had given up pretending to look for coupons and insisting on paying in exact change, they finally found themselves at the front of the line. John paid for their goods with the credit card and the team pushed their carts out to where the cars were parked. After loading the groceries into McKay's van, they set out back to the mountain. This time Ronon road with McKay, so that Teyla could ride in the convertible.

By the time that they arrived at the mountain and unloaded their goods off to a bunch of marines who were to take care of the packing of them, they discovered that SG-1 had already set out on their scheduled mission, so the team was unable to thank them for their shopping outfits. Once they finished changing back into their Atlantis uniforms it was time for them to head back. They met the marines leaving the bay after finishing packing the jumper for them, leaving the team ready to head home. Half an hour later they had landed in the jumper bay and as they exited they were met by a crew that was to unload the jumper and make sure everything made it to the kitchen, and a cheerful looking Elizabeth and Carson.

"So any injuries I need to look at?" teased Carson. "You all didn't get into too much trouble I hope."

"Yes, how was your mission? Did you guys find everything okay?" asked Elizabeth.

"Other than McKay almost fighting an old lady over a thing of spices," replied Sheppard grinning at Rodney, "I think it counts as a success. Don't get used to it though."

"Hey," whined Rodney as he, John, Ronon, and Carson headed down the hall, "She was seriously evil, I mean at the checkout line she…"he continued to try and defend himself when Teyla pulled Elizabeth aside and said, "Trust me, you do not want to know." The two women veered off a side hall to miss the argument that had started between the guys, although it was a little audible still:

She was just an old lady McKay.

No, Conan, she was evil, did you see her looking for her non existent coupons just to annoy me?

Rodney, you were rude to her. No wonder she tried to make you mad.

I'm like that to everyone Colonel.

Yes, you are rude.

No, Ronon, not rude. Truthful!

That's what you call it?

Yeah yeah……

a/n: holy moley 2919 words in this chapter and 7 pages long, wow! (Not including this note)