Masochism

By Aly

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and such of twilight.

Note: …please…don't kill me for this.

Chapter 3 –Unspoken Words

I was lying on my side with my knees pressed together. My face was resting on the soft leather of Rosalie's sofa. I'm not sure if she realized it but she and Edward were very similar. Both their rooms used to support their whims, functional. And both were sporting a very comfortable leather couch. The differences were still there, Rosalie had a great many mirrors and her couch was a rather mahogany stain. There were no real touches of personality here. Even though Emmett too occupied this space it looked so unused. The two of them preferring the garage and cars to the simple bedroom they shared.

Even after living here for a shot time I had noticed exactly how much Rosalie enjoyed working on her cars, and Emmett, he just loved to watch her work. When I asked he just said he liked to see her so passionate and happy; and it didn't hurt that when she was frustrated his presence calmed her down. She wasn't really as vain as she came across. She almost created her stereotype to protect her, self preservation of a sort. A shell to hide her soul, so nobody would steal it; she loved her family but she feared everyone but Emmett. I think she even feared herself.

"Bella?" I heard Alice ask. She wasn't going to ask why I was in Rosalie's room, hiding out. "You can't avoid him forever."

I nodded, tucking in my chin. I didn't want to be anywhere he might be at the moment. I didn't want to see the eyes I had scarred with visions that reeked of death and maybe even betrayal. Disloyalty to me or to himself; I wasn't brave enough to ask, he couldn't bring himself to tell me. So we were at crossroads, an impasse as he once deemed it. Our relationship seemed to be full of choices and we couldn't bear to make the wrong ones. So we stood in the crossroads, waiting till it was too late. Till the decision was inevitable; and then we changed.

"I know, Alice," I spoke, my voice heavy and weary. "But I'm not ready to make a decision yet."

"You already made one," she said. At first I though she was implying to my change but then I noticed that her eyes held a distant, almost unseeing look, the one she adopted when she had seen a vision she hadn't induced.

"Please don't tell me." I really didn't wish to know right now, maybe sometimes the stakes were too high to risk. If you knew what was coming you could change it. There were too many possibilities to mess up for me to take this chance, or rather; risk.

Her words made her sound like the subject was obvious. "It's not about you."

"Then what is it?" I asked, a little nervous.

Her next line was one I only expected to hear in the horror movie I had dragged Mike and Jacob to, a long while ago. Jacob… I hadn't really given him much of a thought. "There's someone at the door. Bella, go find Esme and stay with her."

I was so used to them treating me like I was human and I bypassed telling her that when I saw her expression. It boded ill for whatever was disturbing her. Then I realized. The smell that rang through the house was like dirt and charred earth, but there was a potent, sour stench in it that nearly made me want to vomit. "Alice, what is that?"

"Wolves." was her simple answer. A word that affected everything. I was leaving with Edward tomorrow, why did they have to come here and ruin what was already on the rocks; their presence, I knew would cause this to crash.

"The rules have been violated so many times." Esme spoke calmly. Coming down the stairs I saw who had come, Sam, as their leader. Jacob, as somebody I was best friends with once. But I didn't know where we fit now.

"Not like this." Sam's voiced boded an ill wish towards the vampires that were my family. I wanted to protect them.

I descended quickly to the ground level to face them.

"It wasn't their fault." I said forcefully. They turned to face me, a haunted look in their eyes. The last time they had seen me; I had looked and smelled very different.

"No. It was Edwards; but you all shall pay the price." Sam said, diplomatically.

I looked strait at him; imagining blood boiling beneath my skin. It felt hot under my skin; the toxins heated by my rage. It shocked me, this sudden

"I chose this. I begged and pleaded for this." My voice was hard; I turned my attention to Jacob. "And you knew. I wanted this. You knew; and now you choose to betray me." I wasn't making much sense, but I was angry.

He looked at me with no expression evident in his eyes, it hurt. No anger at my choice, no recognition of my old friendship. "I cannot betray you because I do not know you."

Not anymore. That hurt the most.

I felt a commanding presence behind me and I stepped back into Edwards's strong embrace. He stepped in front protecting me as he placed a quick and tender kiss on my temple. "Don't you dare hurt her! Words or otherwise." He defended me. His voice was cool, but I could feel his rage beneath the surface. His granite arm wrapped itself around my waist lightly. Sam blanched slightly I believe that he thought we were heartless monsters, and it was true some were, but not Edward, not me, not the Cullens.

"We're not here for her; we're here for you!" Jacob lunged at Edward, already half consumed by his rage. Sam held him back as I threw myself in front of Edward. "Bella no!" He tried not to let me. "I can't, I don't…"

I never heard the rest of that sentence as Sam also lost control. The treaty was already in disregard. Multiple violations scaring the original agreement beyond recognition. Jacob had told me the myths; there had been the trespassing, at least on the wolves' part. And finally there was me; a walking contradiction to life it self. As hell closed in around us and more wolves rushed it to exterminate this household Edwards words echoed in my brain. My attention torn between Emry who had come to face me and the echo spurring around in my head. Edward's ethereal voice as I committed it to memory. But my mind fought with to possible realities.

I don't…

I don't want you to get hurt.

Or the more haunting prospect that made the poison in my veins enflame as I swerved to avoid the looming werewolf. My hands landed on his shoulders and I shoved him away with only partial strength. I was distracted and now a little scared, I didn't want to believe it and I swore it wasn't true, it couldn't be. But it shattered me all the same.

I don't love you anymore.

To be continued…