Heaven 4

I wonder now, when I die where exactly am I going? By that time will there be another God and another version of Paradise? Will I go to Elysian Fields, Heaven, or to where the Amazons go? How will I know for sure that Xena and I will be in the same place?

'Whatever it is you're thinking about, stop.' Xena's voice is a low grumble in my ear.

'Why?'

'You don't look to be thinking happy thoughts.' Her hand is on the small of my back for a brief moment.

'Just thoughts.' She doesn't ask me any more questions; I guess my answer is good enough for the time being. Xena had forced Joxer and Amarice to go ahead on to the next village. Both resisted at first but all Xena had to do was glare and their protests stopped. We've been enjoying the silence, basking in the peace that surrounds us. Still, with no one around, Xena is careful not to touch me.

'Xena, can't we just stop now?' She stops, looking intently at me. It's warmer today than it has been and I want to enjoy it.

'What's wrong?'

'Before anything else goes wrong, can we just take a minute away from everyone.' Her eyes search my face.

'Feeling a little crowded?'

'No, and I love them. It's just….. I don't know.' I shake my head and start walking again. She grabs my wrist, forcing me to stop and look back at her. Her fingers slide down to my hand, taking it in a warm grasp. She smiles softly at me, letting me know she understands without saying a word.

'A little bit further up, there's a nice spot with a lake.' She squeezes my hand before letting it go. After a while we come to a beautiful place where wild flowers are growing tall like corn. Walking through the field, my hands drift across the tops of the flowers as the scent drifts through the air. It opens up just as we reach the lake which spreads out into the horizon.

'Wow.' I whisper. The water is calm, surrounded on all sides by wildflowers swaying in the wind. Xena gives me a grin as we unpack our camp and set about building a fire. When we finish I stand by the edge of the water, my eyes closed as I breathe in the scent of peace and tranquility. I can't help the tears that slide silently down my cheeks.

'What's wrong?' Xena comes up to me, cupping my face in her hands.

'We're alive.' She smiles as she pulls me into a hug, sliding her arms under my duster.

'Yes. We are.' She says almost wistfully. I don't think we've had the time to let anything sink in yet. But I can feel it now, pushing down on me, trying to suffocate me. The tears come a little faster now; I don't bother trying to wipe them away. My eyes drift close as my head rests against her chest, listening to the strong beat of her heart. Xena's fingers begin to walk up and down my back in a slow sensual fashion.

Sigh.

The connection we have was severed and we haven't had time to repair it. Her very touch washes me in warmth; I can feel the bonds of hearts slowly connecting. She pulls away from me slightly, arms still wrapped securely around my waist. Her eyes glisten as she looks down at me with a small smile. Slowly her head bows, lips meeting my cheek with a soft caress.

'Xena.' I blink back tears. She looks into my eyes as her thumbs wipe across my cheeks.

'You are my soul.' She whispers, a single tear falling from her eye. Reaching up, my hand slides back behind her head. I urge her to move towards me, our lips meeting softly at first. The hunger for each other proves too much though, as the kiss quickly becomes ravenous. The world washes away as we mend those last few torn threads of our lives.

While we kiss with reckless abandon; our hands move in a much slower fashion, crawling across skin and clothes just to feel the life beneath. We peel away the layers till there's nothing between us but air, and that is too much still. She lowers me to the ground, grass scratching at my back but I don't care.

Her long form presses against mine, skin against skin. We take the time to relish in the rediscovery of our bodies. My hands sweep across her skin, eliciting memories of the last time I was able to touch her like this. Her name comes off my lips as one long moan, my fingers dig into her back as her lips travel along my body.

A thin sheen of sweat has already covered our bodies, creating a slickness as our skin rubs. My legs wrap around her waist, I need to have her closer. Her fingers quickly move down my body and between my legs. She isn't rough, but she isn't gentle as her fingers suddenly push into me. A shock of electricity burns through my body, her names catches in my throat.

Xena's tongue is exploring every inch of my neck as I cling desperately to her. The pace she sets is fast and hard, my body responding quickly as I rock against her. She's breathing hard and fast in my ear, grunts and groans accompany every thrust.

My lungs stop working, my vision darkens, my body becomes stiff as this explosion of energy races through every fiber of muscle. Tears come hard and fast because the emotions are so overwhelming. The fact that we are here, alive and touching each other again. This is not something I have ever taken for granted.

'Shhh.' She's whispering in my ear, telling me how much she loves me, that everything will be ok.

'Xena.' I whisper back, barely able to speak.

'What?' She holds me tight. I want to tell her that she needs to take me and hold on. We may die again tomorrow, we may die in ten years but we will die and I need her love me without reservation.

'I love you.' I can be such a coward.

'I love you too.'