Disclaimer: Don't own Gravitation. Never will.

Warnings: M/M, Attempted suicide, mental illness, caring, ooc Yuki, some doctor bashing...

Well, well. Look who's back from the dead!

….

And no-one cares. –snivel-

Anyway, thank you for so many wonderful reviews:) And for those who don't review: Thank you for reading my story anyway. As long as you enjoy it, I'm happy:)

I know I'm critizising doctors in this chapter, but since Yuki hates hospital I can see him hate doctors just as much. I don't have anything against them, honest. Don't flame me for it, please. Flame Yuki if you must...But please don't do that either. I'm using him in my story. Remember: Yuki is going to take care of Shuichi. Who will take care of our adorable brat if Yuki is burned to death?

Now, on to the story.

Yuki's POV

-

"Eiri Yuki?", a bald doctor asked.

I raised my head from my hands and glared at the intruder of my thoughts. "My name is Eiri 'Uesugi'", I growled, and felt a thread of satisfaction when I saw the man step back in fear and wonder. He rinsed his voice, and fiddled nervously with some papers when he spoke up again.

"Eiri Uesugi then. I have some news about Shuichi Shindou.

My stomach decided there and then to perform somersaults, and I had to will down the stomach fluids from arise. Not that I have any problem with puking on a doctor, hell, it wouldn't be the first time. But it could wait. No hurry, unless the doctor really wanted to take a shower before the next brain surgery.

Fuck, how can I make a lame joke about something like this now?

"How is he?" I didn't notice how weak and frail my voice had become until now. Damn, when I just hear a small mention of my brat I turn into a kitty cat. He really does have that influence on me.

The doctor took of his glasses and placed them in the etui, while, in my eyes, taking a snotty, wannabe important posture. What a professional fucker. I love doctors, really, I do…Not.

"The good news is that his condition is stable, meaning he is still alive.", he said, while watching my step warily. But I couldn't care less.

I felt my body become two tons lighter. He's alive. My beautiful baka is alive.

And I will be able to hold him again!

I tried to hold back my tears, but the doctor wasn't finished yet.

"The bad news is that Mr. Shindou's condition is also chronic. His body and mind is under some strange connection, which means his body is paralyzed."

I swallowed soundly. "And? What do you mean?" I felt like crying again, but not from relief this time.

Paralyzed? My brat couldn't move his legs or what? Well, no problem. I can carry him. The idea of holding him close to my body and take care of him 24/7 seemed strangely nice to me.

But the fate is never kind. Not that I believe in fate anyway.

"He's incapable of walking, talking or move in general.", the doctor continued, destroying another one of my hopes.

Now, my mind was paralyzed. If possible, my voice became even frailer.

"What do you mean? His body AND mind? Does that mean…", the doctor nodded, finally showing some emotion in his mud brown eyes. He was clearly nervous now.

"But he will be okay, right? It's only temporarily?" I don't understand how I managed to ask that question, but I guess it was inevitable. The doctor sighed, and starts massaging his temples.

"I'm sorry, but only time and the right treatment will decide that."

I wanted so badly to punch something. To kick, scream and show the world my anger. The doctor obviously didn't notice my uneasiness. "Mr. Shindou's parents will come and fetch him tomorrow. There is little we can do for him now. Since he woke up, he has…"

I didn't hear anything else. I ran down the hall like a murder was after my back, with only one thought in my mind.

He is awake. My brat is awake, and it didn't cross my mind before the doctor told me straight out. What kind of a moron am I anyway?

I ran inside the white room where my lover was. The doctors stared weirdly at me, but I didn't care about them.

Shuichi was lying on there on the white bed. Quiet and beautiful, like an angel.

I didn't notice the doctors were trying to get me out of the room, before one particularly rude bastard took my arm and tried to drag me out by force. I pushed him hard aside and glared murderously at the other quacks, daring them to take one step towards me. If looks could kill, then everyone in the room, save my lover, would have been worm food by now.

I grinned in satisfaction when the doctors ran out of the room, and walked over to my little brat.

I sat down by his side, and took his hand in my own. He was so cold, like his eyes. Godamnit, I'm starting to cry now. Fuck. And my mouth is babbling incoherent, comforting nonsense. And I meant every word, in every way.

"Everything is going to be fine." It will be, I promise.

"Just don't give up.", please Shuichi, don't give up.

"I'm here.", and I will always be here.

"I'm so sorry.", I'm sorry. Oh, God, I'm sorry.

I pressed my lips to his hand, kissing it softly, showing him how much he means to me. And it was in that moment I could swear I saw his lips quiver slightly.

Did he try to smile? Was he happy?

I wished so desperately that he could hear me and my confession, and feel my lips against his hand.

I want him to know that I'm sorry.

And I want him to know that I love him.

-

I stayed with him whole night, and ignored the doctor's futile attempts at removing me from my lover. Forget it, quacks.

I will never leave Shuichi again.

YES!!! I'm finally done with chapter four:D Oh, happy day.

Note: I'm almost finished with the Christmas story I mentioned. I won't post it as another chapter, but as a new story. It also doesn't have any connection to Mental Illness as I planned. It's my first humorous Gravitation story, so there will be no angst, only fluff, silliness, and a drunken Tatsuha--; Forgive me, fellow angst lovers...

Anyway, change of subjects. I'm no doctor, so I don't exactly know "what" kind of illness Shuichi has. I found one on the internet which was kinda similar to my description, but I forgot what it was called; And now I can't find the web page…Sheesh, but I hope you don't take it too seriously. In short, he's immobile. That's enough, hehe…I just wanted an excuse to write about a caring Yuki. –sniff-

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Reviews are always nice, you know:) Yup, very nice indeed.

Devil's Backbone