Total Drama Return to the Island

Chapter 4: Picky Picnic

Disclaimer:

I do not own or pretend to own Total Drama or any of its seasons and Characters. I do however own all 22 contestants and the five less notable interns so please don't steal them.

Anyway so my story has over 125 viewers and over 60,000 words as of this chapter so I'm giving a shout out to the people who've commented and told me how I'm doing.

Thank you FrostPrince for your reviews that tell me exactly who you like and what you think about characters, you made me realize just how fun writing for Helga is.

Secondly I must thank a visitor named Marco who stated the obvious fact that Julia is what makes this story so much more enjoyable.

And then some visitor named AWSOME who thinks my story is awesome. His or her words exact.

In other news I decided it's time to name one of my interns because we're one elimination away from interviewing our first four contestants. I've also decided to add a few extra scenes where the guys and girls from both cabins are interacting with each other before breakfast unlike the last three chapters where they never conversed at all.

Warning:

This Chapter of Total Drama Return to the Island contains scenes of extreme stunts, dragonfly larva, barfing, disgusting smells, dungeons and dragons, a slap bet, about twenty references to How I Met Your Mother, disgusting food, mutated wildlife, food that's not fit for human consumption, and a girl who should be in an asylum. Nothing M rated per the norm, it's just rated T for safety precautions.

You have been warned...

Chris Maclean stood on the dock of shame while a female intern with black hair done up in a ponytail and was wearing glasses was using a screwdriver to fix up the dock.

"Last time on Total Drama Return to the Island we had the teams demonstrate their mostly terrible talents." Chris announced with a smile, "Some were good like Jill's, Helga's, and Emily's."

"Some were weird like Cole dancing Ballet to heavy metal music." The intern commented placing another board on the dock and beginning to screw it into place.

"Jesslyn do I pay you to talk during the recap?" Chris asked looking at her.

"Actually you don't pay me at all, Mr. Benson our producer does." Jesslyn replied beginning to bang the screw into the dock with the screwdriver, "Next time you want me to fix something can I please have tools meant for the job?"

"We spared no expense." Chris replied motioning to the screwdriver, "Now let me do my job and finish the recap!"

"Fine." Jesslyn muttered returning to banging the screw into the dock.

"Anyway we saw some pretty terrible performances including Billy's, Pete's and Julia's." Chris continued as Jesslyn stuck her tongue out at Chris while his back was turned, "When push came to shove the Falcons lost by quite a few points."

"If Julia hadn't tortured us like that it would have been more." Jesslyn grumbled.

"You weren't even there!" Chris exclaimed turning to face his intern.

"Actually I have to edit out scenes in the camera room and send the good footage to our producers who just happen to pay us!" Jesslyn explained narrowing her eyes, "I work more hours then you!"

"We're rolling!" Chris mumbled keeping his smile for the camera.

"Right." Jesslyn realized returning to her task.

"In the end Pete left under false suspicion when Billy actually stole everything and the Falcons felt guilty and beat Billy up in response." Chris announced.

"Actually Cole was doing all the punching." Jesslyn corrected.

"ONE MORE WORD AND I FEED YOU TO LARRY!" Chris threatened glaring at Jesslyn, "Who has a cast iron stomach? Who can eat strange foods? Who is picky beyond comprehension? Find out right here, right now on Total! Drama! Return to the..."

"Island swim party!" Summer cheered running out of nowhere and jumping in the lake splashing water all over the camera making it short circuit and black out.

Theme song: I wanna be famous

The sun filtered through the shutters of the boy's side of the Frosty Falcons cabin as most of them snored lightly or in Clyde and Cole's cases snoring heavily. The only ones awake were Luke and Terrance who were making their way to the door as quickly as possible.

"I'm glad I'm an early riser." Terrance whispered to Luke as he skirted around Billy who was still tied to a chair and was snoring in a very uncomfortable position.

"Well I may as well come, its better than sitting here with a bunch of snoring guys." Luke shrugged in response.

"Well I just had to come back for my character book." Terrance replied opening the door and walking out.

The two boys had just closed the door when the alarm system went off over the speakers which consisted of a high pitched version of Julia's banana song from last night played over and over again very loudly.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Cole yelled smashing his end table in two.

"It's on the speaker system." John muttered sleepily before checking his watch, "HOLY CROW! CHRIS LET US SLEEP UNTIL 9:45!"

"Really?" Clyde asked looking around, "Where did Terrance and Luke go."

"They're morning people." Cole grunted walking to Billy's coffee maker which was still hooked up despite the fact that almost everyone hated Billy now.

"I forbid you from taking my coffee!" Billy yelled shaking his chair.

"So you want to increase your chances of leaving?" Cole asked making Billy shut up, "I thought so."

"How can you live with yourself?" Billy muttered angrily, "You can't respect that I don't care about your personal space!"

"I think he's a few spoons short of a silverware drawer." John commented making Clyde spit Coffee all over the floor.

"It's not funny!" Billy yelled wobbling his chair more, "And can someone untie me?"

"Nah we'll just take you to breakfast tied up like that." Cole answered pulling some clothes from his sleeping bag.

"What do you guys think we'll eat for breakfast?" Clyde asked imagining plates piled with frozen lemons and burnt roast beef.

"Probably penguin barf knowing how Chef cooks." Cole growled in response.

"I bet could eat more of Chef's food then you." Clyde stated.

"I could eat quite a bit if I tried." Cole growled in response.

"I don't have any money on me." Clyde sighed checking his pocket.

"Me neither." Cole grumbled sitting down on his bed and thinking.

"Why not have a slap bet?" John suggested.

"What's that?" Clyde asked giving John a questioning look.

"Back home some of the bigger guys bet on something and the winner gets to slap the loser as hard as they can." John explained.

"That sounds awesome!" Billy laughed from his chair, "I wanna see Cole get slapped by Clyde's meaty hands!"

"My hands are not... oh wait they are." Clyde said interrupting himself while examining his chubby hands, "These would really hurt whoever I slapped with them."

"Do we agree on this?" Cole asked looking at Clyde intently.

"I do." Clyde agreed, "Whoever can eat more of Chef's food wins."

"This game just got really interesting." John laughed as Cole flexed his right hand.

Confessional

John: When Oliver Simpson smacked George Kewston we all had to cringe because he had a red mark on his face for a solid week.

Billy: I love it when people fight pointlessly.

Cole: My hand will be imprinted on Clyde's face for the remainder of the competition.

Clyde: I hope I can eat more food than Cole... Imagine if today was an eating competition!

Wicked Weasels: Girls cabin

Teresa had cooked the girls on her team some eggs and bacon on a bagel so they'd at least have eaten something before the challenge besides something related to what you'd find under the fridge after a week of searching for that one strawberry.

"Helga likes bagel sandwich!" Helga announced tossing the entire thing in her mouth and swallowing it without chewing.

"Thanks Helga." Teresa thanked while watching Julia rub her food on the wall before eating it.

"Helga thinks Spanish lady can cook very good!" Helga yelled tossing another bagel into her mouth and swallowing it.

"I love how she doesn't get accents." Vanessa giggled.

"I have an Antarctican accent!" Julia yelled tossing her bacon at the window and screaming, "Fly away bacon! Be free!"

"Does anyone know where Winter is this morning?" Emily asked from where she was attaching something to Helga's bed.

"Who cares?" Alexa responded from where she was brushing her hair by the vanity.

"We do." Teresa responded crossing her arms.

"Well it just so happens that people who eat those horridly greasy messes you call food have lower IQ than anyone else." Alexa explained continuing to brush her hair.

"Actually it's a blend of twenty different types of cheese shredded and melted into a block where it's sliced and paired with gourmet meats straight from France and put onto bargain bagels from the Toronto airport." Teresa explained while she held a bagel sandwich in the air which Julia snatched away and chucked at the window.

"Bargain bagels? Eeew!" Alexa gagged pointing her finger down her throat and sticking her tongue out.

"Wow you have to be the pickiest person I've ever had the displeasure to meet." Teresa commented glaring at Alexa.

"It's a little hard to believe that you're the same Alexa that wasn't such a snob from yesterday." Emily complained as she began bolting the leg of Helga's bed to the floor so it wouldn't smash through it again.

"Snob? Please, I'm just more superior to you so you're jealous." Alexa scoffed as she returned to brushing her hair.

"Helga thinks team should get along better." Helga said gruffly.

"Helga please get your head out of your ***." Alexa laughed, "You're stupid and the way you talk and look proves it. Plus you can't spell team without me."

"Actually due to the fact that the E and M are apart means that you can't do that." Emily replied.

"SHUT UP!" Alexa yelled as Greg poked his head in the door.

"You girls are still getting ready?" Greg asked.

"Yeah we just woke up." Vanessa responded looking around on the floor, "OH MY GOD A CHRIS HAIR!"

"What?" Teresa asked giving Vanessa a strange look.

"I better add this to the collection." Vanessa giggled pulling a realistic Chris doll out of one of her bags and attaching the hair to it, "DANCE FOR ME CHRIS!"

"Well I was just going to say that some of the campers are at the lake." Greg said pointing back towards the lake.

"Is Patrice there without a shirt?" Vanessa asked as she packed the Chris doll away.

"Yeah, why?" Greg asked but Vanessa and Alexa had changed so fast and ran out the door he never got his answer.

"Greg some girls like guys with more muscle than brains so just ignore them." Emily replied.

"Helga's boyfriend is brainy and has lots of muscles." Helga yelled raising her arms and breaking the light bulb, "Helga is sorry about that."

"Helga you don't have to pretend you have a boyfriend for us to like you." Emily explained while she grabbed a step ladder and a light bulb and began fixing the light.

"Yeah we like you a lot better than Vanessa and Alexa." Teresa agreed while packing up her cooking kit.

"But Helga's boyfriend is real!" Helga argued.

"If you say so." Emily shrugged as the new light bulb blinked to life, "I light up your life!"

"ON SUNDAY!" Julia sang as she dashed out the door giggling.

"I will never understand that girl." Emily laughed.

"Well I'm going to go get some food, see you guys at breakfast." Greg said walking towards the mess hall.

"What do you think Chef cooked for us today?" Teresa asked as she packed the last of her kit away.

"Probably a seven course meal made with real tree bark grown in the Yukon." Emily replied.

Vanessa: Patrice has to be the hottest and smartest guy here. Besides Chris of course but Patrice doesn't have billions of girls wanting his phone number.

Greg: When I got to the mess hall Chef was cooking some sort of stew and told me I couldn't leave.

Alexa: My only competition against Patrice is Vanessa but she's is much stupider than me.

Emily: It's a good thing I ended up on Helga's team or else she would've been eliminated for causing severe irreversible damage to camp.

Julia: (She's singing) Bacon flies like a fry and blows up in the sky where we eat it after it dies by making BACON PANCAKES!

Helga: Why doesn't Helga's team believe her about her boyfriend? Emily and Teresa are fun and all but Helga thinks they don't think she's capable of scoring a boyfriend.

Teresa: Helga ate all those bagels and it worries me if she'll be able to eat breakfast or dinner, or even lunch.

Frosty Falcons: Porch

Jill, Terrance, and Luke were sitting around a board on the porch of the Falcons cabin playing Dungeons and Dragons, no lie.

"So you have to use your imagination for the game?" Luke asked looking longingly at the beach where lots of the other campers were playing in the water.

"No you use a dice, several game pieces, a book stating all of your character's stats, pen and paper, a dungeon master, and then you add your imagination." Jill replied from where she sat holding a small female knight figure wearing blue and silver armour, "I had my character piece made specially and my book has one hundred and ninety seven and a half pages full."

"Obsessive much." Luke muttered under his breath.

"We shall use my custom adventure." Terrance announced dramatically, "I will be an awesome dungeon master!"

"Custom adventure?" Luke asked giving Terrance a strange look, "I thought there was only one adventure."

"Please, there's over one million different known adventures." Jill laughed putting her figure on the board and beginning to write in her book.

"Well that's surprising." Luke stated slightly impressed.

"I've never died." Jill laughed, "Except that one time when Harold had to use a resurrection spell on me."

"I haven't actually had to fight a monster head on since I was level one and didn't have the summon skeleton spell." Terrance said nodding in Jill's direction.

"That is helpful." Jill nodded, "How big is your Mana pool?"

"Big enough to resurrect all the monsters and players from DungeonCon 2012." Terrance replied.

"Ok I don't understand this geek talk." Luke grumbled.

"Well you may as well start a character." Terrance sighed tossing a five hundred page journal to Luke, "Record everything you do like it's a manual memory disk from Tron."

"Why?" Luke asked puzzled.

"Because think of how useful that character will be in any future books, video games, movies, cartoons, plays, ect, That you may make in the future." Jill responded pointing at the book, "Start with the name and category."

"Name and category?" Luke asked giving Jill a confused look.

"For example mine is Serena Icywind and she's an Ice Knight!" Jill explained showing Luke the first page of her book.

"Fine." Luke sighed, "But don't think I'll enjoy this..."

Twenty minutes later

"And Luke kills the Spiderwasp!" Terrance announced cheering.

"I Killed the Spiderwasp!" Luke cheered in response writing it down in his book.

"Level three!" Jill cheered high fiving Luke.

"Level three!" Luke cheered.

Just then the other four male members of the Falcons emerged from the cabin Cole and Clyde holding Billy who was still tied to a chair.

"Aww are you three nerds playing monopoly?" Cole asked in a mocking voice.

"Actually we're playing an awesome game of Dungeons and Dragons, what are you doing?" Terrance asked in response.

"Taking the thief to the mess hall to see if Chef has anything we can dunk his head in." Cole responded, "And what's dummies and Druggies?"

"It's called Dungeons and Dragons." Jill growled in response while drawing her sword, "And you had better think it's awesome!"

"Pfft like I care." Cole shrugged continuing his walk to the mess hall.

"Maybe we should clean this up and continue after the challenge." Terrance suggested.

"I agree." Jill responded sheathing her sword, picking up her game pieces, tossing Terrance the ones Luke had borrowed and walked into the cabin her stuff in hand.

"And you said you wouldn't enjoy it!" Terrance laughed packing his stuff in a black box marked Dungeons and Dragons.

Confessional

Jill: I have more respect for girls who have at least tried play Dungeons and Dragons then those who don't even know what it's about and think it's stupid.

Luke: I will admit I had my doubts but if you actually think about it and enjoy the game you'll surely get engrossed extremely quickly.

Terrance: I based the monsters in that Dungeon after the mutated ones on this island, wait till they battle Tigerbats at Mt. Timber!

Beach

Seven of the campers were either Swimming in the water or sitting on the rock on the shore. Summer was wearing her red one piece swimsuit while she waded in the water happily while Spader who was wearing blue Bahaman swim trunks dived for shells, fish, or in one case a Goldfish with a scorpion tail and claws. Patrice was Flexing in the shallow part of the water wearing a Speedo (I just won't go into detail) while Alexa and Vanessa who were both wearing designer bikini's watched with gigantic smiles plastered on their faces. Kai was leaning against a rock onshore wearing a pink bikini while Winter sat on the rocks fully clothed while reading a book quietly.

"I love water." Summer sighed as she lay back and floated without any floatation devices.

"Well you seem to be extremely adapted to it." Spader commented while he examined a blue shell that he had collected from the bottom of the lake.

"Well I do live on the coast of British Columbia in a small town right near the water." Summer explained thinking about her hometown.

"I suppose you were born on a surfboard then." Spader joked looking at Summer.

"How'd you know that?" Summer asked looking at Spader's shocked face.

"Wouldn't that attract predators?" Spader asked giving Summer a confused look.

"It did." Summer nodded, "My dad killed a shark and ate it for dinner that night."

"Ok you're lying now." Spader said returning back to his shell.

"No I'm not! My dad is a professional wrestler and not that fake wrestling you see on TV." Summer replied glaring at Spader.

"Do you mean the wrestler Alberta Beef?" Spader asked giving Summer a shocked look, "I watch his matches whenever my mom's not looking!"

"Yeah he's 6'7 and is built with four hundred pounds of muscle and he's never taken drugs to help him get it either. He once made the flu go away by sheer force. Then the youngest of my five brothers is 18 and is 6'4 and weighs two hundred and fifty seven pounds and is referred as the runt of the litter." Summer replied shrugging not noticing that Spader's face looked like Shocked Patrick's, "I'm mostly like my mom genetically."

"My gods! How did your mom do that?" Spader asked wide eyed.

"She told me by the time I came along it was like whoosh and I just flew out of there." Summer replied before Kai interrupted.

"The show's rated T Summer! Keep it clean!" Kai yelled from where she was leaning on a rock.

"I will." Summer replied before returning to her conversation.

"Your family sound awesome!" Spader exclaimed raising his arms out of the water in excitement.

"Yeah I can beat up my brothers when they make me mad." Summer bragged while Spader thought about how most guys pretend that their little sister can beat them in a fight.

"You probably make them cry." Spader replied nervously not wanting to burst Summer's bubble.

Over where Patrice was showing off, Vanessa and Alexa had taken to sitting in the water and were currently chatting about random things.

"You have to admit that if a guy has abs he's smarter than a guy with man boobs." Alexa commented as Patrice glared at where Spader was absorbing the attention of Summer.

"True but his butt matters as well." Vanessa replied, "Chris apparently has a cute butt according to his mom."

"All mom's think their babies butts are cute." Alexa argued while Patrice sat down in the water next to the two girls.

"What are you girls talking about?" Patrice asked while he glared at Spader.

"About girl stuff, hey do you think Teresa's food is greasy?" Alexa asked giving Patrice the cute eyes.

"I've never eaten it but I'm sure it's disgusting by just hearing about it." Patrice replied flashing Alexa a quick smile.

"Will you go throw her cheeses into the bush for me please?" Alexa asked throwing a quick giggle in afterwards.

"Sure thing hot stuff." Patrice agreed walking towards the cabin.

"Princess Powers are awesome." Alexa smiled leaning back against a rock.

"Now we just work on our tans and make Patrice do everything we want." Vanessa sighed leaning back as well, "Being hot is awesome."

"Agreed." Alexa replied high fiving Vanessa.

Over near the boulder Winter was sitting on and Kai was leaning against things had been quiet until Kai asked Winter why she wasn't swimming.

"Why aren't you swimming today?" Kai asked randomly as Winter placed her book in her lap and sighed.

"I just don't feel like swimming today." Winter replied looking down at Kai.

"Actually I haven't seen you swim at all during the competition." Kai realized, "It's already day four."

"Well I don't like to swim at all." Winter replied giving the water a nervous look.

"Heck you take something like two minute showers and barely drink any water." Kai continued thinking about all the times Winter had strictly avoided water.

"I'm scared of water ok!" Winter yelled before covering her mouth and looking around to see if anyone heard but only Kai seemed to have heard her.

"If you hate water so much then why do you like snow?" Kai asked, "You wouldn't be quiet about how much you liked it last night at the show."

"I don't know, I like ice but hate rain, I'm inside when it rains but I won't come in when it snows, I'm weird okay!" Winter explained picking her book up quickly and hiding behind it.

"Hey it's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm scared of bugs." Kai explained, "But then again you are kind of obsessive about your fear."

"I can't help it." Winter stammered, "I'm scared of a glass of water for Pete's sake!"

"How about as of tonight I help you get over your fear." Kai suggested looking up at Winter.

"I guess we could try." Winter agreed timidly before the intercom scared her so bad that she dropped her book.

"Attention all campers not already in the mess hall! You will be eating soon so you better change and get here within half an hour or you'll be walking down the dock of shame and have to swim away!" An intern announced over the intercom, "In other news that annoying bird above the Falcons cabin just spawned more annoying babies. That is all."

"SWIM!" Winter screamed dashing to the mess hall as fast as humanly possible.

"He said half an hour not fifteen seconds!" Kai yelled after Winter.

"Did that intern just say spawned?" Summer asked from the water.

"You know you've played too much Minecraft when..." Spader trailed.

Confessional

Spader: I didn't want to tell Summer that her brothers probably let her win, it might aggravate her.

Alexa: I have Princess Powers that work on anyone with the intellect to notice them respects me because of them.

Summer: I remember when I hit my brother josh so hard he fell over and had a knee injury for a week!

Patrice: girls are so easy to manipulate, you do what they bid and get *** in return.

Kai: It will take time, it will take effort but I will cure Winter of her fear of water.

Vanessa: So hanging out with Alexa makes her seem like a bigger brat then me so I seem like a smaller target.

Winter: I sometimes pass out from dehydration back home because of my fear...

Mess Hall

When the remaining Campers walked into the Mess Hall they were surprised by the fact that the tables have been pushed together and were lined with nineteen chairs.

"What's going on here?" Spader asked sitting between Helga and Greg.

"Helga thinks it has something to do with the challenge!" Helga guessed looking across the table at Cole.

"Maybe it's the merge!" Alexa suggested looking at the other campers.

"Alexa we've eliminated three campers." Jill stated from where she sat sharpening a battleaxe.

"So?" Alexa asked giving Jill's axe a despising look.

"We should at least eliminate ten before we begin doing individual challenges." Jill stated returning to her axe.

"Well I think it's probably another survival challenge, we've had two of those already!" Emily guessed shrugging her shoulders.

"Let's hope not." Luke groaned thinking about days one and two.

"Maybe we have to eat burning tires covered in hot sauce that can't fit on one table!" Julia yelled from beside John.

"What is with your obsession with fire?" Teresa asked giving Julia a hard stare.

"I worship it." Julia yelled scratchily raising her hands and grabbing John's shirt, "Tell me where I can find my people!"

"Downtown Toronto." John replied in a scared voice while pointing east.

"Really I didn't know Mexico was in Toronto." Julia said looking around at everyone like they were attempting to steal things.

"Do you even know where Mexico is?" John asked as Julia dropped him on the floor.

"In Toronto silly, everyone knows that." Julia laughed banging her fist on the table like john had just told the funniest joke on the planet.

"So where are you from?" Summer asked getting a crazy look from Julia.

"NORWAY SILLY!" Julia screamed, "That's in Japan!"

"Is she making any sense to you?" Terrance asked Summer.

"None at all." Summer replied.

"So does anyone have anything to say to Billy?" Cole asked pointing at the criminal.

"Really?" Billy asked from where he was still tied up.

"He stole my underwear!" Summer yelled glaring at Billy while she shook her head, "You're a sick jerk."

"He stole your underwear!" Teresa said in disbelief, "And I thought him stealing my cooking kit was bad!"

"Well he stole my purple imaginary friend named Jeffery who just happens to be a purple dragon frog and is currently sitting on Brian's head!" Julia exclaimed while pointing at Spader.

"My name's Spader actually." Spader replied giving Julia a strange look.

"Says you." Julia grunted before she was distracted by a butterfly that had flown into the mess hall.

"Well he stole my flute and made me bring my puppet Sly out." Luke complained from where he sat.

"Speaking of that guy, he's so cool you should bring him out more often." Vanessa suggested pointing at Luke.

"He's around more than you think." Luke stated leaning on the table.

"Well I had my Screwdriver stolen and Billy said it was his." Emily complained glaring at Billy.

"In my self-defence you guys are idiots." Billy argued wobbling his chair rapidly, "LET ME OUT!"

"And who's the one tied up?" Clyde asked making Billy shut up.

Confessional

Billy: These imbeciles can't hold me forever!

Julia: MAKING BACON PANCAKES!

Luke: I really hate how much Sly has been surfacing recently, if only I hadn't used that doll so much.

Spader: Why did Julia think my name was Brian? Like I mean it's not even close.

Alexa: I bet it's the merge, these idiots don't understand how my great mind works.

"... So Pete tossed us his lock pick so we could get into the cabin and afterwards Cole beat Billy up and tied him to a chair and made him watch as he smashed all of his merchandise." Terrance explained as the Weasels listened intently.

"So I'm guessing if you guys lose you're going to vote Billy out." Vanessa guessed.

"It'll be a clean sweep." Terrance nodded, "Who's going next on your team?"

"We prefer to see if we win or lose before we choose someone to eliminate." Emily explained but was looking at Alexa evilly.

"Oh I see, so everyone has a different opinion on whose going." Terrance summed up while looking at who was glaring at who on the opposing team.

"Yeah we don't get along as well as it seems." Emily sighed.

Terrance and Emily then turned their heads to see Patrice smack Spader and turn to Alexa and Vanessa smiling.

"Basically you can separate the jerks from the people who aren't jerks and you'll get the elimination order." Emily explained, "Teresa, Emily, Winter, Spader, Greg, Helga, Julia, and I are basically surviving at least three more rounds."

"Well I wish you good luck with that." Terrance nodded before turning to see Luke looking into the distance longingly, "Miss D & D bud?"

"I can't believe I didn't want to play it!" Luke exclaimed smiling.

"It's a perfect example of the saying don't judge a book by its cover." Terrance stated looking across the table at where Jill had smacked her axe into the floor and was nodding happily about how sharp it was now.

"So how long have you been playing?" Luke asked giving Terrance a questioning look.

"I was ten when I first played, of course I'm the only one in my class who isn't into drugs or alcohol now so I'm pretty sure my obsession isn't all that bad..." Terrance trailed as Cole gave him a dirty look.

"Trust me when I say just because you don't drink doesn't mean that it's stupid." Cole growled.

"I never said it was stupid, it's a personal choice, you have yours and I have mine." Terrance shrugged turning back to Luke.

"Well it sounded like you're opinionated against drugs and alcohol." Cole growled, "Not that I've ever done drugs but you seem a bit too much against alcohol for my tastes."

"I won't drink till I'm eighteen Cole because that's the legal age where I'm from." Terrance replied giving Cole a look of disgust.

"Suit yourself." Cole shrugged returning to force feeding Billy dead bugs.

Confessional

Cole: Terrence may have the right to express his own opinion but does he have to have an opinion about everything?

Terrance: I was having a side conversation with Luke about the people where I live and Cole just flips out on me and calls me opinionated, the last time I expressed my opinion he taped Theodore outside and we voted him off the next night.

Vanessa: when Terrance told us about what happened last night I must say the Falcons are really a divided group of people.

Jill: My Battleaxe is as sharp as a sword, I'd use the term Sharp as an axe but that's just plain weird.

Emily: Well I'm glad Billy's going next if the Falcons lose, but if we lose...

"Did anyone see where my gourmet cheeses went?" Teresa asked looking at her fellow contestants questionably.

"You have gourmet cheeses?"Clyde asked in disbelief, "Where are they?!"

"You tell me." Teresa sighed, "They're missing."

"Where were they last?" Patrice asked hiding a grin.

"In my refrigerated suitcase between the pickles and meat." Teresa answered.

"Where can I buy one of those?" Clyde asked.

"You can't get them until next summer, mine's a prototype." Teresa explained.

"Who made them?" Clyde asked.

"A Japanese company known as HUNGRY DOG." Teresa answered.

"Hungry dog." Patrice repeated confused.

Yeah, Hungarian Utility Nutrition Generator R..." Teresa began before Patrice cut her off.

"You said it was Japanese." Patrice stated.

"It's made in Hungry." Teresa responded giving Patrice a look of boredom.

"It sounds stupid in my opinion." Patrice growled in response.

"It sounds awesome in mine!" Clyde exclaimed, "A fridge you could take everywhere!"

"Not everywhere..." Teresa began but Clyde just continued talking.

"Like to camping trips, on a plane, underwater, just think of the possibilities!" Clyde laughed daydreaming about eating a sandwich underwater.

"Too bad your face will be too sore to eat after I slap you." Cole laughed from beside Clyde.

"Too bad you won't be able to because after I eat more you'll be slapped so hard the fabric of the universe will tear!" Clyde responded, "I was practising on a tree trunk."

"I'm so scared." Cole replied sarcastically growling at Clyde.

"What's going on here?" Teresa asked giving both guys a confused look.

"They have a slap bet." John answered from beside Jill, "I'm slap bet commissioner."

"Slap bet commissioner?" Teresa asked confused.

"If one of them breaks the rules I put in place the one who didn't break a rule gets two free slaps." John answered.

"That's cool... and violent." Teresa responded giving John an awkward look.

Confessional

Teresa: A slap bet? Really? As if male stereotypes couldn't get played out more.

Clyde: I can't wait until my hand makes the blood rush to Cole's face.

John: A slap bet commissioner has the most awesome powers ever.

Patrice: Anything made outside of North America is obviously stupid, unlike cell phones with names you can't understand for some reason.

"So what do you think the challenge will be?" Kai asked from where she sat between John and Winter.

"Probably something Chris has cooked up in order to torture us." Greg guessed shrugging his shoulders.

"Speaking of cooking, where's the food? I mean it's almost eleven o'clock." Summer complained looking around to see if Chef was sneaking up with food. He wasn't of course but only we know what's really going on.

"Is it better to eat Chef's food or ignore it?" Winter asked looking at everyone over her book.

"Helga likes Chef's cooking." Helga grunted in third person.

"I spent an unhealthy half an hour in the bathroom yesterday from that meatloaf he made for dinner." Greg muttered in annoyance, "He could at least try to cook nicely."

"He does it on purpose." Kai explained, "You should see what the interns are eating!"

"What are they eating? What are they eating?" Summer asked excitably.

"I poked my head into the mess hall and saw the interns, camera crew, staff and whatnot eating parmesan chicken served with bacon wrapped asparagus and cheese garlic toast." Kai explained as Helga and Greg began drooling, "He actually cooked what I call a five star class meal."

"When do we sneak in?" Greg asked shaking his head to get rid of his daydream about food.

"If Chris caught you, you'd be eliminated before you could say..." Winter began.

"GOOD MORNING CAMPERS!" Chris yelled through his megaphone as he was carried in on a chair lifted by four interns, "I hope everyone had a good and TV worthy morning that I can make a couple thousand bucks off!"

"Do you have to yell?" Summer asked giving Chris an annoyed look.

"YES!" Chris yelled making everyone cringe and put their hands over their ears.

"Why are the tables pushed together today?" Luke asked raising his hand.

"Yeah and why do we have ergonomically standard chairs?" Emily asked.

"There's a very logical explanation for that." Chris answered eagerly, "Do you remember when there were five boys and five girls in season one?"

"How could we forget all that barfing?" Teresa muttered rolling her eyes.

"Well guess what today's challenge is?" Chris asked with a snicker.

"You don't mean..." Spader began his eyes growing wide in shock.

"We're having a PICKY PICNIC!" Chris announced as an intern threw some confetti in the air and the rest began clapping with bored expressions plastered on their faces.

"My stomach isn't built for this." Alexa whined.

"Helga shouldn't have eaten all those bagels, now she's 38.567% full." Helga estimated while Clyde gave her a strange look.

"Yes you guys have to untie me for this one!" Billy laughed but Cole only untied his arms, "AWW COME ON!"

"That's funny." Chris laughed pointing at Billy.

"So what are the rules?" Summer sighed.

"You will be served dishes prepared by Chef and you have to eat all of what's on the plate, if you puke or quit, you don't proceed to the next round, last one standing or last few people on one team will win the challenge for their team." Chris explained while an intern handed him flashcards with his lines written on them.

"That sounds a bit too simple." Winter analyzed.

"Chef will also prepare a mystery dish that will be placed in the center of the table, it can be delicious or really nasty, and you decide if you take the risk, anyone who manages to eat the mystery dish proceeds past the next round without even having to try the food of that round and will continue after that." Chris continued throwing the flashcards in the air, "Pick up those flashcards you imbecile!"

"Right away sir." The intern whimpered in an Indian accent.

"So if we eat this mystery dish we skip a round!" Terrance said smirking.

"I'm not taking it because I'm going to beat Cole fair and square." Clyde laughed moving so he was sitting beside Cole with only Billy between them.

"My hand feels like it's going to hurt really bad when I slap the living daylights out of your face." Cole replied flexing his hand really hard.

"You also have to finish the dish within fifteen minutes of the first contestant finishing theirs." Chris explained, "I also just made that up because this could get boring."

Confessional

Helga: Helga feels ready for anything!

Greg: This is going to be messy.

Summer: I'm just going to take the mystery dish as a last resort if I know I won't eat anything off the plates Chef puts in front of us.

Kai: I just hope we don't eat bugs like last season, that was just disgusting and made me throw up. (Kai shudders)

Winter: Please let there be no watery drinks, please let there be no watery drinks...

"So who's ready?" Chris asked as everyone groaned in response, "Good! Because here comes Chef with the first dish!"

Chef walked out of the kitchen holding a tray of glasses filled with a watery green and yellow coloured mixture and placed on in front of every camper.

"Enjoy your watery mustard and pickle juice." Chef laughed as he placed a covered tray in the center of the table and walked back to the kitchen laughing at what he had just told the campers.

"I'm taking the mystery dish!" Winter yelled panicking as she snatched the covered plate and uncovered it to reveal a sandwich with green meat.

"Two week old roast beef, yum." Chris sniggered as Winter bit into the sandwich and gagged.

"Bottoms up." Spader toasted downing his entire glass and cringing at the flavor, "I like pickles and mustard but I propose we keep them on the opposite sides o the sandwich."

"I agree." Jill gagged as she swallowed half her glass.

"I refuse to put my stomach through this kind of torture." Alexa growled pushing the glass away.

"And Alexa is out of the contest." Chris laughed as Jill began gagging as she finished her glass.

"Helga will try it!" Helga yelled tossing the entire glass in her mouth and eating it, "Helga thinks it tastes like plastic!"

"And Helga proceeds to round two." Chris announced giving Helga a weird look because she had just eaten a cup.

"It can't be that bad." Summer commented taking a swing and almost spitting it out, "Actually it can be that bad."

"Keep drinking if you want to win." Clyde ordered drinking his entire cup and placing it on the table where Billy proceeded to pour his into Clyde's.

"You didn't get it all." Billy stated pointing at Clyde's cup.

"I guess I didn't." Clyde muttered a little confused but downed the entire cup anyway.

"And Billy and Clyde also proceed." Chris explained from his seat, "Where's Jesslyn with my popcorn!"

"She's editing the show, it's her job sir." An intern explained nervously.

"Then someone else get me some popcorn!" Chris yelled throwing a small tantrum and throwing a comb at the wall.

"Right away sir!" The Fat intern yelled dashing into the kitchen.

"DON'T FORGET TO PICK THE UNPOPPED KERNALS OUT!" Chris yelled through his megaphone, "I DON'T WANT TO INJURE MY TEETH!"

"Oh so he gets popcorn and we get a strange concoction of several condiments." Vanessa growled swallowing her entire glass and breaking the plastic cup on the table in rage.

"Vanessa proceeds." Chris announced waving his hand like he didn't care.

"I wanna proceed!" Julia whined downed her entire glass and throwing it at Billy's head, "Be free little pumpkin!"

"Does this contain alcohol?" Terrance asked pointing at Julia.

"Nah she's just mentally deranged." Chris responded, "Plus she's ahead of you so you'd better finish in the next ten minutes or you're out!"

"I better get a move on then!" Terrance panicked drinking half his glass while Winter finished her sandwich and was looking a little green.

"Are you going to puke Winter?" John asked giving Winter a worried look.

"No I'll be fine." Winter mumbled swallowing and sitting back a little.

"So Winter proceeds along with Kai." Chris announced as Kai placed her cup upside down on the table, "And where is my popcorn god damnit!"

"Better hurry up Cole." Clyde laughed smacking his hand threateningly.

"Trust me! I'm going to slap you not the other way around." Cole laughed drinking the entire glass without stopping, "We tied."

"Looks like Alexa is the only one who failed round one." John commented as Terrance, Summer, Teresa, Patrice, Luke, and Emily finished just leaving John and Greg with half full glasses.

"Well I think this stuff tastes good." Greg smiled swallowing the last of his juice.

"Make that two of us." John laughed downing his entire glass in one gulp.

"And so ends round one and it looks to me like only Alexa failed to pass." Chris laughed looking at everyone, "You can go sit on those benches you picky little loser."

"What next?" Greg asked eagerly as he rubbed his hands together.

"You'll see." Chris laughed evilly.

Confessional

Alexa: How could anyone drink that unholy ****? It's degrading to the human race, just like homeless people.

Winter: That sandwich will probably come back to haunt me in the outhouse later.

Spader: I'm never going to look at sandwiches the same way again after experiencing that.

Luke: How could Alexa not even try? It's a wonder that everyone on her team doesn't hate her right now.

"For the second course we have a beautiful dish made of cooked beetle salad." Chris explained as Chef passed dishes to everyone and put an especially big plate in front of Kai, "Of course they're spiced with Chef's favorite blend of ground barf flavored plant seeds."

"What's the mystery dish?" Kai asked quickly.

"Uncover it and you either have to quit or eat the entire thing." Chris explained as Kai reached for the plate and uncovered it to find live raw beetles in poison ivy.

"I'm out!" Kai panicked throwing the plate against the wall and dashing out of the hall as quickly as possible.

"Well I don't hate anything I haven't tried." Clyde shrugged taking a bite and smiled as he began eating more and Billy kept piling his own food onto Clyde's plate until he had eaten both players food.

"Billy and Clyde pass." Chris announced as Billy smiled at his success.

"What kind of beetle are they?" Emily asked as Teresa chewed on her own beside her.

"Poisonous ones." Chris joked as Teresa spat hers on the floor quickly.

"And Teresa's out for disposing of her food." Chris laughed.

"But they're toxic!" Teresa argued looking at Chris like he was stupid.

"I was kidding." Chris laughed, "Nice reaction though."

"I hate you." Teresa growled as she stood up and stormed over to where Alexa was sitting.

"I have a slap bet to win." Cole laughed as he swallowed the last of his food while gagging a little bit.

"So Cole passes to round three along with Winter, Clyde, and Billy." Chris announced as Spader gagged from the taste of the beetles.

"Is it really necessary for us to eat bugs?" Summer asked as she poked her obviously still alive beetles.

"Of course, what's the fun in making you eat things that you'd actually enjoy?" Chris asked snapping his fingers for an intern to bring him a soda.

"I'm done." Jill gagged punching her stomach to stop the gurgling.

"And Jill proceeds to round three as well." Chris announced as the fat intern brought him a bowl of popcorn which Chris flung to the ground while yelling, "I can't eat popcorn out of a bowl! It has to be out of a bag! Make me more and make it snappy!"

"Yes sir." The intern replied dashing back into the kitchen on the verge of tears.

"Well let's get this over with." Spader muttered shoveling the food into his mouth.

"Helga thinks this looks tasty!" Helga yelled throwing the plate and beetles in her mouth and chewing it with the sound of breaking china coming from her mouth.

"How do you do that?" Julia asked dumping her food in her mouth and swallowing it without chewing, "I can only eat rocks like that!"

"You eat rocks?" Summer exclaimed while giving Julia a look of complete and utter shock.

"Yeah they're everywhere." Julia explained giving Summer a weird look, "Don't you ever feel the need to just eat one?"

"No I do not." Summer replied eating the last of her Beetles.

"And Summer advances!" Chris announced as he watched the last eight campers struggle to finish before time ran out.

"DONE!" Terrance yelled standing up and sticking his arms in the air while Greg shot him a look of disbelief.

"I'M DONE AS WELL!" Spader announced mimicking Terrance.

"And then there were six." Chris laughed taking a sip of his soda and spitting it out, "WHY IS THIS DIET? DO I LOOK FAT TO YOU?!"

"No sir." An intern muttered as Chris threw the can in his face in his fit of rage.

"GET ME ANOTHER ONE THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR FAT PEOPLE!" Chris screamed as the intern ran crying into the kitchen.

"Wasn't that a little harsh?" Emily asked looking at Chris like he had just sprouted a second head.

"Nope." Chris replied leaning back, "I wonder how long it will take him to realize that wasn't a diet soda... whatever."

"You're cruel." Emily hissed as Greg finished his beetles.

"Well since you only have four minutes and there are five of you, I'd get eating." Chris suggested putting his hands behind his head.

"C'mon Patrice do this for the ladies." Vanessa urged Patrice as she and Luke finished their food.

"FOR THE HOT LADIES THAT ALL LOVE ME!" Patrice yelled finishing the food and screaming, "Come and get me!"

John and Emily exchanged looks before beginning to eat at full speed while the last thirty seconds counted down on the clock.

"And John and Emily..." Chris began dramatically.

...

...

...

"... Proceed to round three!" Chris exclaimed as the timer buzzed on them, "Let's see who can eat what Chef has made for round three!"

Confessional

Kai: Those Spiderwasps didn't bug me as much because they were half arachnid, but beetles... (Kai shudders as if she's remembering something terrible)

Teresa: So Chris is just making rules up as we proceed! Great!

Alexa: Teresa should have tried harder, spitting your food out? Please.

"For round three we have cooked stink ousters, a delicacy that emits a putrid scent even after death that will make people pass out if not consumed within a half hour period." Chris laughed as Chef who was wearing a gasmask placed a plate of retched smelling seafood in front of the remaining sixteen contestants, "Oh and they taste like squirrel piss!"

"Of course you'd know what that tastes like!" Patrice mocked while everyone including Chef and the interns began laughing.

"SHUT UP!" Chris screamed on the verge of tears, "It was only because the damn things think my mouth is a toilet!"

"You sleep outside?" Summer giggled.

"No those crafty demons seem to find a way into my trailer every night just to pee in my mouth!" Chris hissed glaring at everyone, "They came in through the ventilation system this morning."

"Stop bugging Chrissy-poo." Vanessa ordered glaring at everyone besides Chris, "You ought to be ashamed of your... What is that retched smell?"

"That Vanessa is the food you're about to eat." Chef explained through his gasmask, "And you'd better eat it quickly or you'll begin vomiting before the round ends."

"Helga will finish it now!" Helga yelled throwing the five ousters in her mouth still in the shells and swallowing them whole, "Helga doesn't have to put up with smell now."

"Helga you genius!" Clyde yelled prying open the shells and removing the meat while Billy repeated what Clyde had done and placed his ousters in Clyde's open mouth while Clyde's eyes were closed.

"You aren't beating me that easy!" Cole growled shelling his ousters and eating all five in one bite.

"I'm going to take this round's mystery dish." Vanessa explained removing the cover to reveal a single shot glass of over date milk, "O M G! That is gross!"

"But it's easy." Winter replied as she chewed on her third ouster, "You can take one gulp and be done with it."

"I guess you're right for once." Vanessa agreed drinking the shot and choking it down before burping loudly, "That was really unladylike."

"And Vanessa skips to round five!" Chris announced happily.

"Good, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up." Vanessa gagged covering her mouth.

"This smells like that time the cops found a frozen guy behind city hall." Luke shuddered before throwing the juice and beetles up on the floor.

"And Luke is out of the eating contest." Chris laughed as the fat intern approached with a bag of popcorn and handed it to Chris who threw it on the ground, "I want it in a bowl now."

"But..." The intern began before slumping under Chris's angry gaze and walking back to the kitchen.

"I see Julia is almost done." Chris sighed as almost everyone looked at where Julia was playing with the ouster shells completely oblivious to the smell before she ate the last piece of edible meat and finished round three.

"How is she not bothered by the smell?" John asked while he plugged his nose and ate his fourth ouster.

"Who knows." Greg shrugged finishing his food and lying down on the table, "I'm just going to lie here and groan pitifully."

"You earned it." Emily replied as she finished her ousters as well, "Wake me when round four shows up."

"Will do." Jill replied before her eyes rolled back and she passed out from the smell.

"Why does Jill's smell worse than ours?" Terrance asked giving Chef a worried look.

"A rat vomited on hers and died so she got one that would defiantly knock someone out quicker." Chef explained clearing the plates of those who were out or had finished from the table.

"Well I'm done." Terrance gagged handing his plate to Chef and lying Jill on the floor so she wouldn't kill herself by puking.

"So we're two players ahead." Patrice smirked high fiving Vanessa.

"We have Clyde." John argued as he tried to pull the meat out of his last ouster which clamped shut on his fingers, "IT'S STILL ALIVE!"

"Hold still." Cole growled slamming his fist down onto the ouster and smashing its shell in two, "Now eat it or I'll clobber you!"

"OK!" John yelled panicking as he ate the last ouster and gagged at its taste, "It's not even cooked!"

"Sorry." Chef shrugged picking John's plate up, "At least you didn't get poisoned by it."

"Poisoned?!" John screamed.

"They are mutated." Chef replied walking back into the kitchen.

"Well I'm done now." Patrice announced as Winter finished behind him and put her hands in the air before Spader hit her in the face by accident with his.

"I'm sorry Winter!" Spader gasped putting Winter's glasses back in place.

"It's okay Spader." Winter replied grabbing his hands by the wrists and pushing them away, "I'll be fine."

BUZZZZZZ!

"And Summer is eliminated by default due to not being able to finish in time." Chris announced as Summer walked away unhappily.

"I hope we survive the next dish." Emily prayed as Chef walked out of the kitchen.

Confessional

Luke: I couldn't take the smell anymore, it was just so putrid!

Summer: It sucks that I'm a slow eater. If only we had one more minute!

Kai: So it's up to the guys now... great. Two involved in a slap bet, one with terrible luck, and one that's been cheating. Let's all pray Terrance has a strong stomach.

Jill: My head hurts and my breath just smells horrible! What was in those ousters?

Chris watched happily as the contestants cringed at what Chef had placed in front of them.

"There is no way in the world I am eating Dragonfly larva!" Patrice growled looking at the three squirming water bugs in front of him.

"Then you're forfeiting?" Chris asked excitably as everyone on the Weasels glared at Patrice.

"I mean, I can't wait to eat these!" Patrice announced through gritted teeth.

"Good because I think Chef would have killed you if you had said no." Chris replied laughing while placing his soda on an intern's back like it was an end table, "Where's my popcorn?"

"I'll take the mystery dish then!" Patrice announced uncovering the mystery dish to reveal a can of apple juice dated best before June 5th 1989 when cans weren't that safe when left alone for long periods of time.

"That was pure apple juice squeezed straight from the fruit so it does go bad." Chef explained laughing.

"I REFUSE TO DRINK THAT!" Patrice screamed walking over to where the other eliminated campers were.

"Low life!" Julia yelled shaking her fist at Patrice before beginning to mulch the larva up and eat it.

"Julia eats all her food in her own little way." Spader laughed biting one of his bugs in half and gagging, "These taste disgusting!"

"What did you expect?" Terrance asked as he began smashing his food like Julia had, "You have to mulch them first so they're easier to eat."

"You mean Julia knows how to eat these?!" Spader exclaimed looking where Julia was using a cup as an airplane.

"I EAT EM ALL THE TIME BACK HOME!" Julia yelled before she began whacking her cup on the table and singing the Adventure Time theme backwards.

"I'm not going to respond to that." John commented giving Julia a strange look while Terrance finished his dish gagged a little and held it in the air.

"Helga thinks little bugs look tasty!" Helga yelled while her dragonfly larva shivered in fear before she grabbed all three and ate them whole, "Helga knows little bugs are not tasty now!"

"Oh Helga." Greg laughed as he finished off his food.

"I don't think I'll be able to finish this round." Winter muttered before she ducked her head under the table and began vomiting.

"Yeah I think the ousters smell is still lingering." Spader analyzed while he rubbed Winter's back in order to calm her stomach.

"Well we did have three of our interns pass out after fishing for them." Chris answered while three of the interns hung their heads.

"Well I'm done." Cole laughed leaning over Billy who had just shoveled all his mulched food onto Clyde's plate and smirked at Clyde.

"So am I!" Clyde responded with a smirk after swallowing all his and Billy's food and looking back at Cole, "Nice try though."

"Hey Chris Billy is..." Jesslyn who had just walked into the mess hall wearing an ear mike and carrying a clipboard began before Chris cut her off.

"Finally! Where's my popcorn?!" Chris asked waving his arms around, "I hate waiting!"

"Yeah I'm not here with popcorn." Jesslyn argued, "I'm here to tell you that one of the contestants is violating rule fourteen of the challenge rulebook."

"Don't care!" Chris replied returning his attention to the three remaining campers.

"Fine I'll go back to the part of our job that actually makes money." Jesslyn growled storming out of the mess hall.

"All I hear is blah blah blah! Will she ever shut up about her job?" Chris asked one of the interns who shook his head in response nervously.

"I'm finished." John gagged holding his hand over his mouth as bile rose in his throat but he swallowed it, "And I'll never eat another dragonfly larva again.

"That's nice." Chris replied checking his nails for flaws, "Who would eat them in the first place anyway?"

"Have you even been watching?" Emily asked as she picked up the last bit of Larva off her plate.

"Mostly." Chris replied glaring at the two contestants who were choking the last bits of bug down their throats, "And that means only Winter and Patrice are eliminated for this round."

"I feel very ashamed." Winter sighed standing up and sitting down next to Patrice.

"Look on the bright side, if we lose you get eliminated!" Patrice comforted with a huge smile.

"That helps a freaking lot." Winter muttered clutching her pained stomach.

Confessional

Teresa: Well we're still ahead and if Helga keeps eating this so called food whole we'll have no problem winning!

Patrice: Well due to Winter's terrible and pathetic performance she's defiantly going home tonight if we lose.

Winter: Right now my sinuses are really plugged up, maybe something those water bugs were sitting in was in contact with some sort of plant. I'm allergic to almost every plant, crop or weed known to man, the exceptions being fruit bearing trees, coniferous trees, canola, wheat, rye, vegetables, seaweed, and flowering trees.

Alexa: Winter didn't even do that well in the challenge, like I mean she barely even touched the bugs, almost puked because of the ousters, and of course was at the back of the pack with a sandwich! Now that's just sad.

The eleven remaining campers cringed every time Chef placed a covered plate in front of someone and was wondering what horrible thing Chef had created for their torture.

"Bon appetite." Chef grinned as he placed the mystery dish in the center of the table.

"What is it?" Spader asked himself as he uncovered the plate to reveal two ordinary cookies, "Well this is weird."

"I agree." Greg nodded picking a cookie up and smelling it, "They smell normal."

"I wonder how they taste." John pondered taking a bite before his face turned red, "HOT! THEY'RE VERY HOT!"

"I don't know if we should eat these." Clyde said poking the cookie.

"You can't lose your bet!" Billy growled grabbing Clyde's face, "I will feed these cookies to you if I have to!"

"You're going to have to..." Clyde began before Billy shoved four whole cookies in his mouth.

"Who can't finish now?!" Billy yelled pushing his and Clyde's plates into the center of the table.

"Clyde and Billy are safe!" Chris exclaimed as the fat intern walked out of the kitchen and held the bowl up for Chris to see.

"Here's the popcorn sir." The intern mumbled nervously.

"Good." Chris remarked smacking the bowl out of the intern's hand, "That was a muscle spasm."

The intern muttered something inaudible and walked back into the kitchen angrily.

"Ugh freakshow." Chris complained picking his soda up and dumping it on an interns back, "That was also a muscle spasm."

"Helga will eat all of her cookies!" Helga yelled eating both the cookies like they weren't even spicy.

"HOW?" Greg asked his jaw hanging from his mouth.

"Helga thinks that cookies aren't that spicy." Helga shrugged.

"How?" Greg asked turning to Spader with his mouth still gaping.

"I don't know Greg just finish the challenge." Spader sighed in response.

"We may as well finish this." John suggested biting into his cookie and revealing a bandage.

"That's where that went." Chef pointed out as Vanessa dropped her food and barfed on the floor from disgust.

"I'm also done." John said holding his hands in the air in defeat.

"Is anyone else quitting?" Emily asked as everyone else shook their head no, "Well we might as well finish the round."

"But Chef." Spader whined pointing at Chef who was picking a scab.

"It wasn't used. I just dropped it in the batter and couldn't find it." Chef shrugged as Vanessa and John smacked their heads with their hands.

"Seven minutes!" Chris yelled at the remaining six campers.

"I will defeat Clyde!" Cole roared eating both of the death pepper laced cookies on his plate.

"That was fast." Clyde commented pointing at Cole.

"I like internet cookies!" Julia yelled stuffing both cookies in her mouth and swallowing them, "Tastes like virus!"

"That was a little on the strange side." Spader commented picking up both of Greg's cookies and shoving them in his gaping mouth and forcing him to chew before slapping him and forcing him to swallow.

"How?" Greg asked pointing at Helga.

"Maybe I didn't slap him hard enough." Spader growled glaring at Greg.

"FOUR MINUTES!"Chris yelled pointing at the timer.

"May as well finish this." Terrance shrugged stuffing his face full of food and chewing it, "My taste buds are on fire!"

"Well I'm going to round six!" Emily Cheered waving her arms in the air while Spader swallowed the last of his food.

"And that means we have nine campers moving on to round six, which is good because we had ten of what you drink for round six but one melted through the can." Chris explained as almost everyone's eyes grew wide.

"You don't mean..." Terrance trailed.

Confessional

John: So we quit because Chef had planted a bandage that had never been used in my cookie... (John begins shaking before the camera changes to static)

Vanessa: So I let my team down because of a fake heath risk! This is so unfair!

Luke: I hope he doesn't mean what I think he means... if he does I hope we keep it away from Julia because we'd have that scene off Over the Hedge when Hammy drinks coffee but worse.

Teresa: What are these people talking about? I don't know what could melt through a can.

Julia shuddered in anticipation as Chef placed a green can of soda marked Tantrum in front of her.

"This is tantrum, a discontinued American soda with the highest legal amount of caffeine in it possible." Chris explained while everyone shot Julia a worried look.

"Why was it discontinued?" Billy asked looking at the can suspiciously.

"Well the American government did a test on mice and discontinued it after the mice started exploding when they consumed so much of it." Chris answered smirking at the worried faces all the remaining contestants had on their faces.

"What's the mystery dish for this round?" Terrance asked giving Chef a worried look.

"Sorry but the tantrum that melted through the can destroyed the mystery dish." Chef replied picking up a mangled burger on a plate that looked like it was sitting in a pool of acid.

"Yeesh." Terrance shuddered moving away from it.

"You better drink it or I'll beat you to pulp!" Cole snarled giving Terrance the evil eye.

"You don't want me to do that." Terrance argued before Cole whipped a plate at him, "OK, OK I'll try!"

Terrance shouldn't have tried because he took a sip, spit it out where it began melting through the table, stiffened and fell over shuddering.

"Maybe you should have listened to him." Billy suggested before Cole began strangling him.

"Maybe it's good." Clyde shrugged taking a drink before his eyes widened and he ripped a chunk of the table out while yelling, "TANTRUM!"

"And that's why tantrum was so popular." Chris laughed grabbing grape soda from an intern and pouring it all over the intern's shirt, "My muscle spasms fault."

"You don't even suffer from them." The intern growled before Chris glared at him making him shut up.

"This is one round I'm trying!" Billy laughed drinking his can and shuddering with energy before bouncing up and down while yelling, "I'm going to hit such a bad caffeine crash later!"

"Helga wonders if it will make her stronger!" Helga yelled chucking the can in her mouth and eating it, "AWW Helga's stomach acid is too strong to absorb the energy boost."

"Helga I don't think it would have any effect anyway." Spader replied drinking half his can before roaring: "TANTRUM!"

"TANTRUM!" Billy yelled in response.

"Helga feels left out." Helga muttered sadly.

"That much caffeine can't be good for you." Emily muttered sipping hers before growing wide eyed and chugging the rest, "TANTRUM!"

"My gods it's freaking crazy." Greg muttered as Spader began doing push ups for no apparent reason.

"I can see why it's banned!" Emily yelled grabbing a wrench off her tool belt and bending it in half, "Aww why did I do that?"

"Well I may as well pass." Cole shrugged drinking the soda before he crushed the can with his fist.

"Wow that soda does you wonders!" Spader commented as he finished his own can.

"I can do that normally." Cole growled in response as he put his feet on the table, "I can also usually rip a phonebook in half but we don't have any here."

"He's correct about that." Chris nodded snapping his fingers for an intern to give him a foot massage.

"I'm not going to..." Greg began before his can began hissing and melted through the table.

"... Be eliminated." Chris finished, "The food destroyed itself therefore getting you to the next round."

"I LIKE TANTRUM!" Julia screamed reaching for the can.

"NOOOO!" Teresa screamed punching the can away where it exploded on the far wall, "You don't want her drinking this stuff!"

"They say it left permanent damage!" Julia agreed referencing the reason why she's in a mental hospital, "It's apparently attached to my DNA!"

"Good save Teresa." Chris complimented, "We almost made Julia worse!"

"Worse at what?" Julia asked innocently.

"TANTRUM!" Spader screamed picking up a chair and smashing it on the ground.

Confessional

Terrance: Why don't I drink pop they ask, I'd rather not show you I say, and then they force me to drink Tantrum!

Jill: I don't think I'm ever drinking anything caffeinated again.

Luke: Good thing Chris didn't let Julia drink any tantrum, but unfortunately he let her remain in the game.

"So there are eight remaining contestants and we're only at round seven. Three from the Falcons and five from the Weasels." Chris announced while the Falcons groaned because the odds weren't in their favor.

"What's next?" Greg asked with a sigh.

"Glad you asked." Chris laughed as Chef put a plate with a piece of pizza on it in front of each camper, "This is a pizza with wild forest mushrooms, cow liver, platypus milk cheese, seasoned with dirt, and with a hint of wild garlic."

"One of my mushrooms just crawled away." Spader pointed out.

"That happens sometimes." Chef replied smashing the mushroom with a spatula and placing it back on Spader's pizza, "Better?"

"Not at all." Spader replied shaking his head no.

"It looks good!" Julia laughed eating her pizza by shoving the entire thing in her mouth and chewing on it.

"How can you like this?" Greg asked as Julia swallowed.

"IT TASTES LIKE BANANA'S!" Julia replied screaming.

"I won't ask." Greg replied.

"My pizza appears to have latched onto Clyde's." Billy pointed out while everyone looked at where Billy's slice appeared to be strangling the life out of Clyde's piece.

"Its okay bud, I'll eat it." Clyde replied eating both pieces in one bite.

"That's the nicest thing anyone's done to me all day." Billy said patting Clyde's back and stealing his wallet in the process, "You're a good friend."

"Plus I'm totally going to win this bet because I'm one slice ahead of Cole!" Clyde laughed while Cole glared at him.

"I could kill you but I wouldn't be able to slap you." Cole replied swiping Greg's piece and eating it as well as his own.

"So the game continues." Clyde smirked narrowing his eyes.

"Of course." Cole agreed smiling.

"I can't take this anymore." Emily groaned as her stomach gurgled, "I'm sorry guys."

"You did your best." Spader congratulated as Emily sat on the bench near Winter.

"Helga is hungry!" Helga yelled picking her plate up and eating it.

"NOT AGAIN!" Chef whined while the air was filled with the sound of smashing china.

"How can she eat this stuff?" Spader asked before he realized he was the only one with food left, "Chef I'm going to take the mystery dish."

"It's probably because she drank TANTRUM!" Billy screamed in response as Spader uncovered the dish to reveal what looked like an oversized grub with tentacles and millions of blinking eyes.

"What colour is it?" Spader asked looking around, "That tantrum made me temporarily colour blind."

"It's sewage green." Greg replied, "I think regularly drinking that stuff probably shortens your life by a lot."

"I'm out." Spader sighed pushing his chair back and walking to where the eliminated campers were sitting.

"That leaves us with six contestants left to torture with puree rejects and stuff we found on the ground." Chris laughed, "BT dubs your eating leaves for round twenty seven, seventeen year old leaves."

"I think I might hurl." Greg gulped as Chef walked out of the kitchen carrying round eight out of the kitchen.

Confessional

Emily: My stomach hurts like someone poured melted lead into me! Cut the Tantrum out! Cut it out of me!

Spader: TANTRUM! (Spader smashes a hole in the confessional wall before rubbing his hand)

Vanessa: So our lead just suddenly vanishes and they have two really committed guys on their team and one cheater.

Winter: Yeah I think I'm not going to eat anything that Teresa doesn't cook for the next few days because of this.

"Okay everyone round eight will be feeding you something you've all ran into before." Chris explained as Chef placed several dishes on the table, each containing a large almost as big as the plate cooked piece of Spiderwasp flesh that had flies buzzing around it and in Greg's case was squirming a little bit.

"I hate you." Greg muttered reaching for the mystery dish and uncovering the head of a Spiderwasp, "I defiantly hate you both."

"We're used to it." Chris replied leaning back a little ways in his chair, "Now begin eating!"

"I like this!" Julia laughed as she began eating the bug's flesh like it was nothing.

"I don't know how much more I can take." Clyde gagged as he finished off Billy's piece without noticing.

"You're almost done." Billy replied pushing his plate to the center of the table and gesturing to Clyde's real piece.

"How are you done already?" Clyde groaned clutching his stomach.

"I'm a fast eater by habit." Billy lied as Clyde picked his piece up and bit into it, "There you go."

"I can't." Clyde moaned dropping the food.

"Hah hah!" Cole laughed finishing his food off and slapping Clyde so hard that he fell of his chair.

"I'm in pain!" Clyde yelled.

"So am I." Cole groaned before puking all over the table.

"Uh oh." Billy panicked as Greg poked his Spiderwasp head in the eye.

"This is physically raw." Greg complained as he poked the forehead and the mouth spat sticky web all over him, "And still loaded."

"Not my problem." Chris replied as the fat intern walked up to Chris with yet another bowl of popcorn which Chris smacked right into the intern's face, "I don't want popcorn anymore! The challenge is almost over!"

"I hate working for you!" the intern screamed before storming out the door.

"Bring me some juice while you're out there!" Chris called after him, "AND MAKE SURE IT'S THE KIND THAT STAINS CLOTHES!"

"Helga thinks punching ugly bugs is more fun than eating them." Helga stated as she chomped the flesh in half and swallowed it, "Eating bugs is boring."

"Well it seems that only freaks eat them." Chris replied motioning to where Julia was using her food as an airplane.

"Helga could smash you if she wanted." Helga pointed out making Chris shut up.

"I quit." Greg sighed pushing the Spiderwasp head away as he tried to untangle himself from the web.

"And unless Julia finishes in the next two minutes Helga will be competing alone against Billy." Helga explained as she finished her food off and gave an enormous belch that shook the table.

"TANTRUM!" Spader yelled from the bench while he ripped the web off Greg like it was silly string.

"I like this." Julia laughed before the timer rang zero.

"And Julia is..." Chris began dramatically.

...

...

...

"... Eliminated from the challenge with half her Spiderwasp steak left!" Chris finished while Julia picked her food up and threw it on Patrice's head.

"WHAT IN GODS NAME IS IN MY HAIR!?" Patrice panicked grabbing the steak and passing out from realization.

"So the final two are Helga and Billy, one has been eating Chef's plates and one has been cheating the entire time." Chris explained as the two remaining campers glared at each other.

"Helga will win this." Helga growled with a smirk.

"The Wicked Weasels win the challenge!" Chris announced as everyone looked at him confused.

"But Billy's still in." Summer argued.

"Yes but Billy cheated therefore making your team lose by default." Chris explained, "He fed all his food to Clyde."

"I ate more!" Clyde laughed turning to Cole with a smirk

"Plus since a slap occurred without the guidelines being met Clyde can either slap Cole five times right now or he can have three slaps that can be used from now until the end of the competition." John explained, "It's your choice Cole."

"I choose three slaps." Cole gulped looking at Clyde's meaty hands nervously.

"No you should have gotten it over with!" Billy yelled before Cole slapped him out of anger.

"Him you can slap as much as you want." John explained pointing at Billy.

"We win!" Teresa cheered throwing her hands in the air.

"NOOOOOO!" Billy yelled knowing he was going tonight.

Confessional

Helga: Helga wins for her team! Helga's team must be proud of her because of that!

Greg: Billy is obviously going tonight because he made his team lose by feeding Clyde all that food.

Cole: I'm going to guess Clyde will slap me before the tantrum wears off.

Clyde: TANTRUM SLAP! (Clyde smacks the toilet paper so hard that it breaks off the wall of the confessional)

Julia: Jimmy Jimmy coco-bot, Jimmy Jimmy Rye!

Billy: I have to come up with a plan in order to survive. But that's hard when you're tied to a chair.

Frosty Falcons

The Falcons sat on the porch of their cabin glaring at Billy while they unanimously decided he was going.

"So it's decided then, we all vote Billy, and he votes for whomever he wants." Summer explained while Billy rocked back and forth in his chair in an attempt to loosen himself.

"That I can agree with you on." Clyde nodded, "So most of the Weasels are down by the beach, anyone want to go swimming?"

"Of course." Summer nodded dashing inside.

"I think we should all go." Jill agreed.

"What about me?" Billy asked.

"Well you'd probably steal the water or something so I'd keep you here if it were my choice." Cole laughed, "Oh yeah it is my choice."

"I hate you!" Billy screamed before Cole st6uck duct tape over his mouth.

"Now you can't talk." Cole smirked walking into the guy's side of the cabin.

"Weren't we going to play dungeons and dragons?" Luke asked looking at Terrance.

"We can't play it all the time." Terrance replied putting his hand on Luke's shoulder, "Otherwise it consumes you and you become overly obsessed."

"I think you just want to go swimming." Luke laughed taking Terrance's hand off his shoulder.

"Of course! Who wants to be a lazy gamer?" Terrance asked walking into the cabin.

"Ninety percent of lazy people." Luke answered as Jill and Summer walked out of the cabin, "Jill why do you have a spear?"

"It's for fishing." Jill replied holding the sharp weapon in the air, "I learned how to do it by reading articles on the internet."

"She had it under her bed." Summer explained giving the spear a worried look, "We think she has a cannon somewhere."

"No but I'm building a siege tower for the vehicle derby that we might have sometime soon." Jill exclaimed, "It's awesome!"

"I would bet." Luke replied before walking into the cabin to change.

"Maybe we should vote before we're soaked." Summer suggested as Jill nodded in agreement.

Confessional

Summer: Well I believe in second chances and Billy blew that today by screwing our team over by cheating.

Jill: He stole my sword and framed Pete, so I'm voting Billy.

Cole: ... And Billy was eliminated. End of story.

Terrance: Pete didn't deserve to go, goodbye Billy. It hasn't been a pleasure.

Billy: Well I think I'm going to rid the game of a major nuisance by voting for... (Static cuts him off, as if we need to do that)

Four hours later at the Bonfire Pit

Moonlight caused creepy shadows to lurk outside the comforting warmth of the bonfire pit as the nine Falcons sat around it waiting for Chris to announce who was going (Like that's a surprise). Luke and Terrance were sitting on a log while Summer sat on a barrel behind them. John was sitting uncomfortably on a rock beside Cole who was trying to stay as far away as possible from Clyde. Kai sat patiently beside Billy who was glaring at his teammates from his chair which he had just spent an entire day in.

"For the third time in a row the Falcons visit me at elimination." Chris announced shaking his head, "Soon your numbers will be at eight while the Weasels celebrate with ten members."

"It's all Billy's fault." Clyde growled glaring at Billy, "I would have lasted longer if he hadn't secretly been feeding me his own food."

"Yet you failed to notice that he did." John muttered receiving an angry look from Clyde.

"Maybe Kai should leave because she was the first one out in the challenge." Chris suggested leaning on his podium.

"But Kai is a helpful asset to the team." Summer argued, "Billy however is terrible at survival challenges, has no talent, and can't even eat without cheating."

"So you voted for Billy?" Chris asked.

"Certainly." Summer nodded.

"How many other people did?" Chris asked as everyone but Billy raised their hands.

"That's strange because all the votes including Kai's were cast against Kai." Chris explained with a smile, "We thought that was strange so we actually watched the votes and found that everyone had said Billy except Billy who swapped them all out."

"So Cole goes home." Billy laughed.

"Nope, you broke an important rule so you leave tonight Billy." Chris laughed tossing marshmallows to the other eight campers and motioning for two interns to carry Billy to the boat of losers.

"WAIT LUKE HELPED ME!" Billy yelled as he was dragged away.

"Okay now your lies are just getting sad." Kai growled shaking her head.

"Stop throwing people under the bus." Cole growled shaking his head as well.

"You have to believe me!" Billy yelled before he was tossed into the boat of losers which drove away carrying the conniving, cheating little jerk off the island without his stolen wares.

"TANTRUM!" Clyde screamed slapping Cole so hard he flew into a nearby tree, "That's one!"

"When's that stuff going to wear off." Terrance sighed before the Falcons made their way back to camp while Billy screamed about his revenge from the now distant boat of losers.

Wicked Weasels: Girls cabin

"I don't ever want to eat or do anything again." Winter moaned from her sleeping bag on the floor while the rest of the girls got ready for bed.

"After drinking that tantrum I know what my uncle meant by breaking my knee won't be the worst thing that will happen to me." Emily groaned from her sleeping bag.

"Helga thought most of that stuff was pretty good!" Helga explained from her bed that still had a huge dent in it.

"Helga you were eating dishes so I'm not surprised there." Vanessa replied while she removed her eye shadow.

"I thought it was a pretty pathetic challenge." Alexa stated, "Who would want to even watch someone eat gross food?"

"Eighty three percent of boys under the age of eighteen and any sociopaths." Teresa replied as she put her burger print pajamas on.

"I agree with that statement." Vanessa nodded.

"Well I think that Billy's cheating won us the challenge today so maybe we should thank him for that." Emily suggested before everyone replied with, "NAH." Including Emily.

"Do you think they eliminated him?" Teresa asked as Winter groaned again.

"Well of course he stole Summer's underwear, so that makes him a dirty pervert." Alexa exclaimed as she undid her earrings and placed them in a suitcase dedicated to accessories.

"That's true." Vanessa nodded.

"Can I haz Cheezbrgr?" Julia asked internet style as Vanessa panicked by her sudden appearance.

"Stop doing that!" Vanessa ordered glaring at Julia.

"Stop doing what?" Julia asked giving Vanessa the innocent eyes.

"Stop acting silly!" Vanessa yelled waving her arms around.

"Oh I know what you want." Julia muttered as she pulled a stick out of her covers, "WHO'S READY TO BE POKED WITH THE FUN STICK?"

"Not me." Vanessa muttered as Julia poked her in the cheek.

"SMILE!" Julia ordered poking Vanessa in the eye, "Smile because George is poking you!"

"You named your stick." Emily muttered.

"Who wouldn't?" Julia asked poking Vanessa again.

"ARGH!" Vanessa roared grabbing the stick and breaking it in two, "That's what I think of your fun stick!"

"Oh my god." Julia gasped picking up her two sticks, "I HAVE TWO FUN STICKS NOW."

"Great." Alexa growled smacking her forehead.

"George this is your brother... er... George!" Julia exclaimed while almost everyone groaned.

"Helga thinks Julia might have drunk some tantrum." Helga said pointing to where Julia was having a swords battle with herself.

"Kill me now." Vanessa muttered to herself as she was poked by two sticks.

"Smile!" Julia ordered.

Confessional

Julia: (She's singing) Two beavers are better than one!

Vanessa: So I break a stick named George and Julia names both the sticks George, insanity!

Helga: Helga is missing her family, and her boyfriend, and her pet bear.

Winter: I feel like I ate a lot of croutons and they expanded in my stomach.

Teresa: Tomorrow I'm going to cook eggs because my cheeses disappeared.

Emily: I'm probably going to keep waking up tonight and throwing up outside, I feel so sick.

Alexa: So I survive and move to day five and it's obvious that Winter is the weakest link, I mean she had a pathetic performance in today's challenge!

Wicked Weasels: Boys cabin

Greg and Spader were playing cards in their cabin while Patrice constantly walked around looking for a cell signal.

"BRIDGE!" Greg yelled throwing all his cards on the ground.

"I'm not sure if you even know how this game works." Spader stated before Patrice walked right up to them.

"What are you nerds playing? Go fish? Hahahaha!" Patrice mocked while pointing at their cards.

"This is bridge actually." Spader corrected as he began shuffling the cards.

"I'm pro at cards." Patrice replied smirking.

"Then beat us at cheat." Spader replied shuffling the cards from one hand to the other like a magician before they spilled all over the floor, "TADA!"

"That's awesome!" Greg cheered while clapping.

"Not impressed." Patrice growled crossing his arms.

"Lighten up." Greg complained as Spader collected the cards and dealt them.

"Okay so Patrice can start." Spader announced.

"Three..." Patrice began.

"Nope." Greg replied showing him four aces.

"Damn it!" Patrice yelled.

"Four aces." Greg announced putting six cards down without the other two noticing.

"Two twos." Spader stated putting his cards on the pile.

"Three...' Patrice began.

"CHEAT!" The other two said in unison holding up two threes each.

"You guys are no fun." Patrice growled gathering the cards.

"I'm the best at this game though." Greg bragged as he placed eight cards on the pile without anyone noticing.

Confessional

Greg: I found a way to cheat at the game cheat! I created a paradox.

Patrice: These guys are stupid. They always play cards on the cabin floor! I mean I haven't seen either of them flirting with any girls!

Spader: I suck at shuffling... and magic tricks, especially those involving fire.

Frosty Falcons: Girls cabin

The three girls were currently sorting through their luggage to find fresh unused clothes.

"Is there anywhere we could wash our clothes here?" Kai asked as she held a T-shirt with a green stain on it in the air.

"Probably not." Jill replied, "That's why I packed enough clothes to last me thirty days."

"Try hard." Summer joked as she folded her cheerleading outfit.

"It's better to be a try hard then a try not." Jill replied as she moved her latest dirty clothes to a neat and compact laundry suitcase.

"Question how do you keep that armour from smelling like gym socks?" Kai asked.

"I use multipurpose peach scented material cleaner." Jill replied holding up an orange bottle filled with what looked like orange Windex.

"So now you're advertising it." Summer smirked as she hung her wet swimsuit on the railing of her bed.

"I never mentioned what it's called." Jill argued hiding the label from the camera, "I refuse to market it!"

"What brand is your armour?" Summer asked smiling.

"Red Brick armoury located in Vancouver British Columbia, why do you ask?" Jill answered before realizing what she had done, "Tartar sauce!"

"And now you're quoting nickelodeon." Kai giggled as Jill smacked her forehead.

"I only watch SpongeBob when I have to babysit our neighbors the Jefferson's grandkids." Jill replied thinking back to when she was at home, "The youngest one has this strange obsession with eating tubes of lipstick."

"Is that why you don't wear makeup." Summer guessed.

"Nah I don't wear makeup because I don't want to carry around one of those enormous purses." Jill replied, "Congratulations your wallet evolved into a purse with the volume of a small wheelbarrow."

"I will admit that I do carry around some weird stuff in mine." Summer stated, "I once fit three watering cans into it."

"My friend Michelle carries an electric turkey cutter in case she gets mugged." Kai explained as the other two began laughing.

"Last Christmas an old lady pulled a machine gun out of her purse when I bumped into her and began screaming for security, she was arrested by carrying an illegal weapon and pointing it at a civilian." Summer stated while the other two laughed.

"I got a rock last year." Jill sighed remembering her last Christmas, "My parents believe too much joy leads to violence."

"Are your parents mentally deranged?" Kai asked looking at Jill with a worried expression.

"They play Klondike and watch soap operas all day, it's like they're old people from the fifties that lost the will to live." Jill replied with a sigh, "I was once grounded for thinking there were monsters under my bed."

"That's harsh." Kai replied.

"I know! I had to kill those rats with a toothpick!" Jill replied as Kai and Summer exchanged worried looks, "It was then that they decided to get the house condemned and we moved to the old folks retirement village! My parents are thirty, have never been on vacation, and they're already retired!"

"Your life must suck!" Summer exclaimed imagining what Jill's life was like.

"You don't know the half of it." Jill muttered.

Confessional

Summer: My purse isn't that big... okay maybe my boyfriend had to get a pickaxe and miner's helmet to find my phone in it, but it's not that bad... right?

Kai: My great uncle Arthur invented those huge purses, every women in my family besides, me, my grandma, and my aunt Tessie.

Jill: Old people like me, I even got a job waiting tables in one of the cafes! My neighbor Mrs. Benson is really rich and married to some big shot movie director and TV corporation owner that has cameos in all his movies. She buys me stuff and plays Mario kart every Tuesday with me and her coffee buddies, I wonder if they're watching...

Frosty Falcons: Boys cabin

"So Billy had an antique model of a mud hut in northern Italy that he was selling for half a million dollars." Terrance explained while he held a terribly formed lump with the price tag of a million dollars on sale for half price, "That is defiantly garbage."

The guys were sorting through Billy's products and determining what was actually usable, so far they had twenty bags of garbage and one usable object: The coffee maker.

"Well we only have a few bags left." Cole announced as he picked up another bag.

"What was in that locked one?" Luke asked looking up at John.

"Nothing but two year old power bars that were best before last Christmas." John replied dumping the entire content of the bag into a garbage bag.

"Imagine when Billy watches this." Cole laughed imagining what would happen.

What would happen

"STOP!" Billy screamed smacking his chair wildly, "You can't do that to my products."

"Apparently they can." Theodore replied smirking at Billy.

"I hate your guts!" Billy yelled knocking Theodore over by tackling him.

"Revenge is sweet." Pete laughed taking a photo with his phone.

"That would be awesome." Cole smiled.

"You're daydreaming again." Terrance sighed attempting to snap his fingers, "I forgot I can't snap!"

"I can." Clyde stated as he moved pieces of a jetpack from a suitcase and into a garbage bag.

"Why did Billy even collect this junk in the first place?" John asked looking at all the garbage.

"He's a hoarder." Terrance replied while Luke, Cole, and Clyde gave him weird looks, "You know people who just keep garbage."

"Oh." Cole replied rolling his eyes.

"It appears that Billy keeps used smoothie cups." Clyde observed as he picked up a stack of paper cups with black splotches on them.

"And according to his records, he sells empty burger containers to homeless people." John read in disgust, "How low can this guy get?"

"Pretty low apparently." Cole muttered as he picked up Billy's last suitcase and opened it to reveal rocks that were painted gold.

"And he sells fake gold to other countries." John read, "He made two thousand dollars after selling it to a Mexican drug gang, hey it appears he's wanted in several parts of Mexico by the same guys."

"That's going to come back and bite him in the butt later in life." Terrance muttered shaking his head in annoyance, "Some people just can't earn things legally."

"Like my uncle Fernando!" Cole exclaimed, "He smuggled alcohol into the states for sixteen years before he realized they had legalized it years ago."

"How could you not realize it?" Terrance asked giving Cole a questioning look.

"I don't even know." Cole replied shrugging, "All we know is that he gave up with illegal stuff after that and became a cop in New York."

"Is he married?" Luke asked.

"Yes, to a bartender." Cole replied, "They live in a penthouse suite on the upper east side."

"How do you know so much about him?" Clyde asked skeptically.

"Oh my dad's the emergency contact so we get a call once a month about Uncle Fernando shooting himself in the foot or crashing a police cruiser." Cole replied as he pulled a model of the statue of David with a derp face out of a bag.

"Your family sounds kind of interesting." Terrance analyzed.

"True dat!" Clyde yelled.

Confessional

Cole: Yeah Uncle Fernando is a pretty messed up dude.

Luke: Half the stuff we pulled out of Billy's bags had either mold growing on it or something living in it.

Terrance: I wonder who has the weirdest family here...

John: (He's holding Billy's logbook) So Billy sold a woman once. And he got a Mercedes in trade! Holy potato Billy's a bad dude!

Clyde: I didn't mention this but my handprint is still on Cole's face. It's been an hour!

Dock of shame

Chris stood on the dock of shame with Chef while several interns hammered the dock back into place.

"And so ends another exciting episode of Total Drama." Chris began, "We saw puking."

"Barfing." Chef continued.

"Regurgitating." Chris added.

"Puking." Chef stated.

"I already said puking." Chris informed Chef.

"Sorry." Chef apologized.

"Anyway, who will survive? What secrets will be revealed? Can I get any hotter?" Chris asked the camera, "Find out next time on Total Drama Return to the Island!"

Frosty falcons: Jill, Terrance, Luke, Summer, Cole, Kai, Clyde, John

Wicked Weasels: Teresa, Vanessa, Emily, Julia, Patrice, Spader, Greg, Helga, Winter, Alexa

Eliminated: Mona, Theodore, Pete, Billy

Votes:

Jill: Billy

Terrance: Billy

Luke: Billy

Summer: Billy

Cole: Billy

Kai: Billy

Clyde: Billy

John: Billy

Billy: Kai

We've hit a milestone with 100 views to chapter one!

So Billy is quite obviously eliminated (Goodbye forever!) who didn't see that coming? I even embarrassed him at the end! Truth be told I was originally going to boot Helga here during the planning stage but she's just so freaking fun to write about, and you guys seem to like her a lot, her and Julia (COMIC RELIEF!). So we say goodbye to our cheapo and will continue to see him in a studio in downtown Toronto. But on the bright side, everyone hates him (Except that tall Asian guy with a English accent wearing a suit and drinking scotch in his penthouse apartment in Russia while he signs a deal for a major banking company to destroy the rainforest) and we probably won't see him competing again.

Anyway did you enjoy this chapter, or hate it with a passion so hot that you'd drink tantrum and destroy your computer? (Please don't do the second thing) either way please leave a review, I love reviews! If you're criticizing me or just complimenting me I'll read it anyway! If you're sending me fan mail so I can read it out for the campers to answer I'll defiantly try to squeeze it into the interview chapters. (Please send me fan mail, I don't care if you ask them if their hair is naturally that colour or if you're asking why they're a jerk I'll post it!) so I'm currently working on my first interview which will be hosted by two of my OC's named James and Nova. They'll read three pieces of fan mail from me no matter what as well as any fan made mail for the contestant. At the beginning of every show after the first one they'll read any mail I didn't get before I was finished and embarrass the contestants you hate, we'll have guests, video chats, and a whole bunch of other stuff that increases in amount as we go on, so until next time (SEND ME YOUR FAN MAIL!) I'm The Firebending Frog!

Next time: its reviewing time, come on grab your friends, we'll go to a very nice studio in downtown Toronto! With James the Spy (I mean pen salesman) and Nova the astronomer, the comedy never ends.

It's interview time!