Beautiful Hell

There are always those people who were never meant to meet the world. Because the world is cold and it's hard, and some people are too beautiful to meet something so harsh. Someday you'll meet one of them and you'll know what I mean. Some people are not favored by the world, and others are given riches and love.

Life isn't fair, it never has been. It is impossible to tell who shall be loved and who shall be hated. Civilization is told to laugh and love and learn, but how can we when there are so many who never get the chance. How can we when we learn that not everyone is favored by life?

The odds are not in everyone's favor.

Certainly the odds were not in his favor, Haymitch's, who had fought to keep out of the hold of death. Death is greedy for those who fight so hard to keep out of its grasp, but in his case, life's hold was far too strong. Haymitch stayed alive, though death still tempted throughout his life.

Death followed him everywhere he went, taking form in every possible being. Tempting and teasing until Haymitch was left empty and ruined. Some people were never meant to meet the world, and others were never meant to meet hell.

This, though, was the last straw. When death took Amber Donner, it started to take its toll on the mentor. He was not one to appreciate death's beauty in the first place, but after that point, he hated it. It had taken everything from him, so he took everything from it in return.

If death wanted him so badly, it could have him; right after he ruined himself. He drank until he passed out and his liver went to hell.

Though, I'm not there yet, we all know how this story ends. Haymitch Abernathy let death taunt him until he thought that his life was not his own.

The beauty of hell.

So let me start here, start at the beginning of this particular hell. Let's start when Haymitch is still so alive; so very sad and angry, and very, very alive.

He was sitting on the couch when the little mockingjay was stolen by the games. His hair was windblown, though attractive, Effie found herself noticing it, wanting to drag her hand through it, because it was just so natural. She'd never seen hair that was so untouched by product.

Yes-this is what Effie was thinking of. It may seem shallow and horrible, but she was shallow. She never realized how horribly this would affect the mentor.

His eyes, which were a dark shade of silver before white, were darkened as he scrunched his eyebrows together. He sliced his hand across the table, flinging everything in different directions.

Effie let out a tiny squeal and jumped off of the couch which was then littered with tiny shards of glass. "Haymitch Abernathy!" she shouted "You could have killed me!"

He glared at her. "Oh, that would have been a shame, sweetheart," he hissed.

"What is wrong with you!?" squealed Effie, taking a step back from him. He was probably crazy! He was from twelve after all, and who knows what they teach their children there?

"Nothing! A girl just died Effie, she died! You met her, you talked to her! And now she's dead! How can you just sit there like absolutely nothing happened?" he shouted, holding his glare.

Effie's attempt at a glare back was feeble at best, but she attempted to do so. It wasn't Effie's fault that Amber was dead! It was for the good of the Capitol after all. "Well Haymitch, sometimes people have to die for the good of everyone. We don't want another rebellion on our hands, do we?"

His eyes grew a strangely dangerous quality and he went ominously quiet. "Princess, you might want to shut up right about now before I do something that I'll regret."

Effie's blue eyes widened "You're insane! Absolutely insane!"

"I could say the same of you." He growled back, though the dangerous quality was disappearing from his eyes.

Effie's flighty blue eyes flashed and before she could think about what she was doing, she slapped him as hard as she could-or at least-she tried, but Haymitch caught her wrist in his hand effortlessly, a look of almost calm crossing his expression.

"Going to hit me, Trinket?" he said, eyebrow raised slightly in amusement quickly before scrunching back into a scowl.

Shonee's blonde curls shone from the corner of the room. The stylist was walking in from the dining hall, probably having seen Amber dying and worried about Haymitch. Unlike Effie, Shonee knew Haymitch well and was unlikely to forget that he had emotions.

She glanced at the two of them, grey eyes shooting glares at both. "Haymitch, you're drunk. Let her go."

Haymitch dropped Effie's hand, his attention turned to Shonee "Drunk? Of course not, sweetheart."

Shonee grumpily took Haymitch's hand and pulled him back to his room where Effie heard her growl "Haymitch Abernathy! Drinking? I realize that Amber is dead but we still have one tribute and we cannot afford for you to be drunk!"

Effie snuck around the corner, glancing at Shonee and Haymitch bitterly argue in the hallway. "She's dead, Shonee! Dead! As in never coming back-the end-DEAD!"

"I know that and I'm really sorry, Haymitch, but she's not Maysilee." Said Shonee, taking her tone down a notch.

Haymitch just shook his head and muttered "Whatever, Shonee, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Don't drink any more, Haymitch, I don't want to see you with a hangover in the morning," she hissed. Turning the corner she ran straight into Effie.

Effie jumped and let a high-pitched squeal, having been found spying on them. Shonee crossed her arms and pulled Effie behind her, then muttered "I'm sorry you had to see that. Haymitch isn't doing well with Amber's death I guess…"

Effie tilted her head "I know that she was Maysilee's sister, but she died for the good of the games! Surely he understands why only one can win."

Shonee clenched her jaw and nodded, the stylist looking stern "Effie, he's not from the Capitol. He doesn't understand things like…you do. Most people from the capitol think that the games are holding down a rebellion, right? That it's all entertainment? Well imagine it from his point of view."

"Okay…" said Effie "So… imagine like I was working for the capitol?"

"Well…" Shonee paused "Okay, imagine that you could starve every day, and you're the only thing that is stopping your family from dying, but the worst part is that every year, the games could take your family from you and you could never get them back. That would kind of put a damper on things. It's easy to think that it'll never happen to you, so who cares. It's very far away, but you have to imagine how hard this must be for him, because he's already lost everything."

Shonee was right, though, everything was so far away. People always blame the people of the Capitol for what happened in the Capitol, but it was just like starvation in Africa before the disasters. Everyone knows that it's happening, but very few people actually understand what goes on behind the fence. It's just so far away.

So don't blame her for not realizing how bad the problem was. Blame her for being so close to the problem and being ignorant of it.

"I think I understand…" said Effie, looking down "but, if that's true, it means that I've been condemning these kids to death."

i'm so sorry that this took so long! I had to re-write it three times because microsoft kept deleting it, and my editor is really, really busy (but she's awesome, so it's ok)

um R&R please, i know it's not my best... in fact, I really, really hate this chapter... tell me how I can improve!