CHAPTER THREE

In which the mysterious C speaks out and certain parallels arise.

"Let me through!" yelled a broken voice downstairs, and a young man appeared, closely followed by a girl. They were both dressed nicely in a smart suit and a blue cocktail dress, and John could smell cigarette smoke and expensive cologne from the distance.

"Are you Matthew Perkins? If you could step through here. I'm sorry, but we can't allow any bystanders at the scene. If you would wait outside for a while, miss…" said a police woman, and tried to stop the pair in the hallway.

"This is my fiancée, Caroline. Surely she can come in? I don't think I can do this without her right now..."

"We're going to be married in just a few weeks," Caroline managed fill in between her sobs. She was a blonde girl, and had the warm round face of someone who is genuinely goodhearted. Now she was crying and mascara was running down her face, but John could recognize that kind of goodness in a person at any time.

Then Sherlock pushed past him where he stood in the doorway, and for a heartbeat they were pressed flush together. The brief contact made John slightly breathless for a moment and trying to regain his composure. As they walked towards the couple John had eyes for his friend only. He tried to convince himself that he didn't see Sherlock's warm cheeks or flitting glances in his direction. Obviously the detective had noticed his idiotic little lapse, and it had made him uncomfortable. Great.

"Could we have some of your time? It would help immensely with shedding some light on this unfortunate situation," ventured the detective, but was elbowed hard in the side by John. Prudent as the request might have been, it was still a bit not good, considering. Grieving relatives wasn't really Sherlock's strong suit. People in general seldom were.

"My mother is dead in that room, and you want to interrogate to me? Who the fuck are you anyway?"

"I'm Sherlock Holmes, consultant detective to the…"

"Get out of my way!" the young man cried and forcibly pushed himself past the men and stumbled into the bloody living room. Seeing his dead mother made him retch immediately and then unceremoniously collapse on the floor. There was a commotion as they moved young Matthew Perkins to the bed in the next room and Caroline the fiancée had to be talked down from her hysterics.

John mastered the situation quickly. Grief and panic were things he was familiar with, courtesy of personal experience and his training as a military doctor, and he did his best to comfort the poor woman. He was really good with that sort of thing. He even handed her his handkerchief.

When he glanced up at Sherlock he hoped he would detect some gratitude, but was met with a black stare, which he would rather classify as distaste or perhaps jaundice. He couldn't understand it. His stomach lurched, and not in a good way. Had he done something wrong? Was he interfering with the investigation somehow?

"Better now?" he asked the woman, and she nodded, face still buried in the handkerchief, smearing mascara everywhere. "Mr Perkins will be alright in a minute, I promise."

"I can't believe it! She can't be dead. We had lunch today! I can't believe she wouldn't let me help her. She never told me that she was sad or anything. She was always so…so considerate. Why would she just…" She trailed off breathlessly, ready to burst out crying again.

Sherlock, however, jumped at the opportunity, and showed her the black moleskin dairy.

"I take it you have had lunch with Ms Perkins quite a lot as of late. Can you confirm that you are the C marked in here?" he asked impatiently.

Caroline took a quick look at the presented pages, and then nodded.

"We always had lunch a couple of times a week. I loved it. She always made time for me, even though she was so busy all the time. She said it was important to her to see that I was happy. Oh, I can't believe she is dead!"

She broke down tears again, and John put his arm around her unconsciously. He patted her bare shoulder soothingly, and did not look up at Sherlock for reassurance this time.

"Matthew and I had some trouble a while back, and I didn't know if I should break it off or stay with him. I was a mess! But Anita talked me through it. She said…she just said I was the loveliest and sweetest person in the world. That no matter what she'd be there for me. What ever I needed. She meant the world to me. I couldn't have done it without her."

"So you have no idea why she would kill herself?" Sherlock asked.

"No."

"Really? There were no financial problems? She wasn't seeing a psychiatrist? She wasn't in any relationships, no boy- or girlfriend?" he deadpanned.

"No! Not that I know of. Just no. And what do you mean girlfriend? Why would you ask things like that?"

"Well, she obviously was emotionally distressed, otherwise she wouldn't have killed herself. Are you sure that you don't know what happened to her over, lets say, the past month?"

"Matthew and I got back together three weeks ago, but I've told you that already. I don't know! I thought she was happy!"

"Maybe you weren't so close after all. Do you think that your fiancé, Mr Perkins, might know more about this?"

"How can you say things like that? She said I was her dearest friend and that she loved me…If I had known she'd…" She was getting close to tears again, and John felt physically ill about the detective's inquisition.

"I'm so sorry, Caroline. You don't need to answer that. My colleague can be somewhat insensitive sometimes. I'm really sorry about that," John apologized. "I need to have a word with him, right now. Are you alright by yourself for a while?"

She nodded, and John forcibly dragged said colleague out of the room.

"What the hell was that about? You can't interrogate her like that. She's in shock, damnit! She's mourning!" he hissed.

"Well, if they were as close as she says they were, she must know something about this that we don't! I'm just trying to solve this as quickly as possible. I need facts for that. I need to observe."

"Not like that, you don't. Lay off. Talk to her tomorrow, if you need to. You know, when she's calmed down a bit."

"Oh, that won't be necessary. I've got what I needed. I just need to put it together. Should I get a cab for us?" Sherlock said nonchalantly and picked up his phone.

"You do that. I'll be out in a moment. I just need to wrap up and tell Lestrade we're off."

Sherlock nodded and walked off. John watched him until he was out of sight, and when he finally was alone he took a deep breath. He always had an internal conflict at times like this, torn between his admiration for the Detectives brilliance in action and the mortification of his inability to relate to other people's tragedies. He waited a moment before he went back to the crime scene, to cool off. He waved goodbye to the forensic team, slapped D.I. Lestrade on the back, and finally gave Caroline the fiancée an awkward hug. She looked like she needed it. She had a long night ahead of her.

When he got out of the nice Belgravian house, the cab was already waiting for him on the street. He climbed in. He couldn't bear to even look at Sherlock, in case he would say or do something stupid, like hit him or confess his undying love or something. The case, however mundane and uneventful, had stirred his feelings. It had hit closer to home than he was comfortable in. The ride home was done in dead silence.

You see, for once John had figured out the "why" before Sherlock did. What he saw was unrequited love. He had seen it before. Anita Perkins must had fallen in love with the one and only woman she absolutely could not fall in love with. Caroline seemed to be a gentle soul, a true sweetheart, but as her future daughter in law she would be oh so unattainable.

There was an inevitability to it, he decided. People always wanted what they never could have. Of course he would fall in love with his best friend and colleague, the one man that was truly unattainable for him. Just like Anita Perkins and her daughter-in-law. The only difference was that she had decided that she couldn't live with it.

He decided not to tell Sherlock.

(Sorry for the wait, but life in general and school got in the way... Read and enjoy!)