Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters, locations and concepts belonging to Marvel Entertainment. No claim of ownership is made or implied by me in using their property. No part of this work is intended for material gain of any kind. It is intended for the sole purpose of creative exercise and the entertainment of others.
The Adventures of Kitty Pryde
Issue 4, February 2006
Cover image: Kitty, looking weak and disheveled, bravely shields Warren Epps with her body while confronting a team of ominous figures in the shadows. They are inside, backing toward a window that clearly shows it to be late at night. The light of a full moon illuminates the entire scene in an eerie cast. Warren looks fearful, while Kitty seems angry and determined. Above them is Lockheed, who is building up a wave of fire breath to shoot at their attackers. At the bottom of the page are the words "(Yet Another) Invasion at Xavier's!"
--Memo from Colonel Nick Fury, commander of S.H.I.E.L.D. Global Security to Kitty Pryde, Xavier institute. I just finished speaking to the little runt. He insists on being a pain, but it's good to know he's back where he belongs.--
It is the dead of night. A modest building rising six stories lies quietly nestled amongst the taller structures next to it. The brick, steel and concrete show signs of old world and modern architecture. It is an edifice that has been worked on fairly often over the years, with a little bit added and a little bit taken away each time. An unassuming sign next to the front entrance proclaims it to be "Zeppo Studios."
--I'm finally out of that damn sling, and I should be completely recovered by the time we have the christening ceremony for the new Hellicarrier. Consider yourself officially invited, Dollface.--
A large SUV pulls in front of the building and five shadowy figures climb out and rush for the entrance. They are dressed from head to toe in black and carry large sacks over their shoulders.
--Relax. If you can make it, I promise not to hound you about coming back on with us for real. Even though you were a great temp agent and could go far if you wanted to. Just a thought."--
From inside the doors erupt in a small explosion, surprising two lean security guards. The quintet in black rush through the smoke and rubble and one of them points a large round spray can at the guards, unloading a cloud of gas into their faces. The uniformed men both collapse, unconscious, to the floor.
--I also wanted to give you a heads up on something that might cause you some problems down the road. Remember that disk your friend stole from Richards at the start?--
Two of the men pull sophisticated equipment out of their packs and assemble them into something that resembles a soundboard. The others rush to every corner on the top and bottom floors and fasten blinking pod devices to the walls.
--Not everything on there is as devastating as that device A.I.M. was trying to build or that bomb that was used to threaten your friend and the school. Thing is, there were literally thousands of ideas on it, and who knows how many of the 'less lethal' ones were sold to the highest bidder after HYDRA got them?--
A readout on the control board shows a series of numbers on one side and a countdown on the other. The counter reaches zero and the entire building is enveloped in an intense white light.
--I'm just saying be careful out there. Even the most mundane device on that disk could become a major headache in the hands of some psycho.--
The light fades away, and all that is left is an empty lot.
The walls of the dim hallway are lined with strange panels and devices. It could be the center of an alien spacecraft, or the command center of some secret government test lab. The walls are mostly grey, and are eerily clean. Other than a few blinking lights and monitor displays the place seems dead.
"Hff. Hff."
Faint signs of life glimmer in the distance. The voice is ragged and weak, like a wounded animal.
"Uhnnn..."
A trio of shadows emerge from behind a corner, approaching the source of the noise. "This way," a voice says ominously.
"She won't escape this time," responds another.
Deeper inside the complex, the soft glow of an active computer monitor brightens a tiny office, where Kitty Pryde sits, shoulders limp with exhaustion, typing frantically at the keyboard in front of her. "Just a little longer..." she breathes.
"There you are," someone says from behind.
Kitty turns, her eyes wide with alarm. Her face is pallid and coated in sweat. "N-no!" she cries as she bolts from her seat. Her legs are unsteady and her lank hair disrupts her vision, but she flees to the back of the room, only to collide with the sleek metal wall.
She turns and braces her back against the wall, glaring up at the approaching figures. She raises one hand in a warding gesture.
"S-stay back!" she says fearfully. "Don't come any closer!"
"It's no use," one of her stalkers informs her. "Now open wide and this will all be over before you know it."
Kitty clenches her eyes shut and her lips part as she braces herself for the horrible fate that awaits her.
The spoon slips into her mouth, and the foul tasting medicine with it.
"Ewwwwwwww."
"Really Katzchen, must you always be so dramatic?" Kurt Wagner says as he holds the spoon long enough to make sure she swallows. Standing on either side of the furry blue mutant are Emma Frost and Rachel Grey. While normally the two women do not get along, in this they are unified as they watch the spectacle with mild amusement.
Stan Lee does not present
Chicken Soup for the Young Mutant's Soul
"Honestly, Kitty," Emma Frost sniffs, "why do you insist on sneaking off like this when you should be resting in your bed?"
Kitty tries to suppress a quiet cough as the spoon is withdrawn. "Because I have things to do," she informs the Headmistress, "It's bad enough you're leaving me behind. I'm not even tha- ahh-- AH-CHOOO!!!"
Rachel offers her a tissue. "Give it up, Kitty. I haven't seen you this bad since our first week at the lighthouse."
"Traitor," Kitty grumbles at her best friend. She accepts the tissue however and blows her nose with it.
Kurt proceeds to dab at her forehead with a washcloth. "She is just concerned about you," he assures Kitty. "Whatever it is you were doing can wait, and with half the school down with the same cold, you should be setting a better example."
"As long as I do my research in a place that's off limits to students, who's to know I'm not cooped up in my room like everyone else?"
Kurt wags the tip of his tail at her as if it were a scolding finger. Rachel places her hands on her hips and glowers. Emma's response is the most understated. A simple arching of one eyebrow.
"Dr. McCoy's orders--" the former White Queen begins.
"Recommendation," Kitty corrects
"orders are for bedrest, and they apply to you as much as anyone else. If you feel compelled to ignore even him, you must be working on something quite important. I don't suppose you'd care to tell me what it is?"
"It's private," Kitty says without hesitation.
"Then it can wait," Emma concludes. "Go back to bed and stay there. It pains me to see you like this and I want you feeling better as soon as possible."
Kitty and Rachel stare at her in disbelief for a moment. "Was that… concern?" the redhead asks, followed by Kitty's "Are you sure you're feeling well yourself?
"Don't be absurd," Emma chides them. "I'm referring of course to your appearance on that morning show in two days. It simply won't do to have 'The Face of the X-Men' looking like something out of a Japanese horror movie on live television."
The three of them pause to study Kitty, whose limp hair hangs over her face in a decidedly unflattering way. "Ha-ha. You're hilarious."
"All right, Katzchen, to bed with you," Kurt tells her as he takes her hand with gentlemanly flair. "Pardon us!" He and Kitty vanish in a puff of purplish smoke, while Emma and Rachel recoil from the rank smell of brimstone his teleportation power produces.
They reappear the next instant in the room Kitty shares with Rachel. "Who does she think she's kidding?" Kitty grumbles as she puts a hand on the footboard of her bed. "If she was so damn worried about what I might look like on television she'd –cough- just have Elixer patch me up."
Lockheed, who had been lying at the foot of the bed, flies up and curls himself around Kitty's neck.
Kurt sighs. "Joshua's sick as well, Katzchen, and even if he wasn't we can't go running to the students every time we want something their power is suited for. It'd be like asking me to take people up and down the stairs."
Kitty manages an evil smirk. "You mean the way you did just now?"
The blue furred mutant frowns with disapproval at the remark. "Such backtalk. Why must you be so difficult when you're feeling under the weather?"
"Easy for you to say! I don't think I've ever seen you get sick."
"Ja. That may be true," Kurt concedes as he places a hand to his chin in a gesture of thought, "but I have died a time or two, so it all balances out."
Kitty is taken surprise by his comment and suffers a coughing fit that is half restrained laughter. She sits on her bed to steady herself. "Okay, I give. I give."
"That's better," Kurt says, looking satisfied. "Most of us should be back by morning." He bamfs away in another puff of smoke, but returns a second later. "One question, if I may be so bold?"
"Yeah?" Kitty says as she pulls the covers to her bed down.
"What were you researching there in the basement?"
"Heh," Kitty says, savoring the momentary advantage. "Maybe I'll tell you in the morning."
Kurt dips forward into a graceful bow, "Well then, until morning--" A final burst of brimstone, and again he is gone.
Kitty crawls into her bed, looking utterly spent. "I am pretty tired," she confesses in her thoughts. Lockheed finds a cozy spot near her feet and immediately drifts off. Kitty reaches out to the lamp on her nightstand and clicks it off as her thoughts continue. "Hate to be so mysterious, fuzzy-elf, but I can't exactly tell anyone what I'm investigating until I've got more evidence. Otherwise I'll just end up looking paranoid, or worse, crazy..."
A moment later she is asleep and there is nothing but darkness.
Somewhere in the distance, a lone figure watches the Blackbird fly away from the mansion.
"They're clear. Let's move in."
Kitty is jolted awake by the heavy keening of a violent guitar solo. "-an attack?!?" she thinks as she flings herself out of the bed. "It sounds like it's coming from the mansion's com system!" She glances out her window and notices a pair of ONE sentinels moving erratically.
"Outside, too?" she thinks, wincing from the headache the blaring sound is piling on top of the headache she went to sleep with. She staggers to the window and slides it open, only to nearly be knocked back by the sudden appearance of another sentinel that is loudly broadcasting the same music playing over the intercom.
"Halt!" a loud voice demands from inside the sentinel.
"Megaphones?" Kitty thinks. She lifts her hand to block out the floodlight projected through her window by the sentinel's palm. "Get that flamin' light outta my face!" she yells at the offending mech.
"What's going on in there?" the pilot yells, ignoring her command. "Our com systems are being jammed. Whoever is responsible is ordered to cease and desist immediately!"
"How should I know what's going on?" Kitty shoots back.
"I'm sending in a team," the pilot tells her.
"Don't you dare!" Kitty yells, directing a stern finger toward the sentinel's torso. "I've got a school full of sick students in here who need their rest! I'll check it out and I'm warning you, if a single one of you goons barges in I will climb up inside that precious tinker toy and show you what 'Threat Level: Severe' really means!"
The pilot does not respond, and Kitty thinks, "He's probably checking my file to see if he should take my threat seriously."
A moment later, the sentinel shuts off its light and grudgingly lowers the hand. "Make it quick, Miss Pryde," the pilot tells her.
The halls of the school are filled with bleary-eyed students who are confused, annoyed and possibly a little frightened by the unexpected broadcast. The one least concerned seems to be X-23, who stands next to her fully garbed roommate, Dust. Hellion and Surge, on the other hand, appear the most annoyed.
"Ah, man, why'd it have to change to Country?" Rockslide complains.
Kitty steps into the hall and looks through bleary eyes and limp hair at everyone milling about.
"Did someone watch a cursed video last week?" Hellion snorts as he nudges Cessily Kincaid, the student known as Mercury. She returns the favor, but forcefully and with the intent to silence him.
"That's not a student, Julian," she hisses under her breath. "That's Miss Pryde!"
It's too late, however, for he has managed to gain her attention. Kitty walks up to him, feet dragging slightly and says, "Julian Keller, is it?" in a strained but clear voice.
Hellion draws himself to his full height so he can face her more easily. "Yeah?"
"You're Emma's favorite student, right?"
"What of it?" he responds, trying to sound menacing.
The other students turn to watch the confrontation with obvious interest. "This ought to be good," Noriko whispers to X-23. Everyone hangs on the moment, eager to see how Kitty will handle his challenge.
"Good. You're in charge."
"I don't have to-- Huh?" Hellion says.
Kitty resumes her journey down the hall. "I can't have everyone getting underfoot while I deal with this," she says, referring to the broadcast, which has suddenly changed to coverage of a football game. "I'd be very impressed if you can get everyone back in their rooms before I return. Think you can handle that, tough guy?"
The others' faces immediately sink, robbed of the showdown they had been hoping for. Hellion, on the other hand, looks like he's just been given a gold star.
Lockheed zips through the air to catch up with Kitty and utters a questioning, "CooOOoo?"
"I'll be fine, dragon," she quietly assures him. "Can you keep an eye on the kid, make sure he does a good job and stuff him in his room if he doesn't do it on his own?"
"Yah!"
"Thanks, Lockheed." She continues down the hall while the little purple dragon veers off.
"Miss Pryde?" a voice calls from behind. She turns and sees Ben Rice hurrying toward her. "I think I know what's causing it!"
"Warren?"
Inside the room, Warren Epps sits on the edge of his bed, clutching a tissue and looking thoroughly distraught. He sees Kitty walk in and shoots Ben a hate-filled stare before bursting into tears. "I don't know what I'm doing!" he wails, "And I don't know how to make it stop!" He sneezes violently into the tissue and the intercom immediately switches to something that sounds like a fifties gangster film.
Her own misery is pushed aside as Kitty approaches him with genuine concern. She drapes an arm around his shoulder and coos soothingly. "It's all right, Warren. I'm here to help you," she tells him.
"He seems to change frequencies in direct proportion to the intensity and manner of his sneezes," Ben tells her helpfully. "In precise terms, the jump in Hertz is-"
"Go to Lightfoot's room, Ben," Kitty orders gently.
Ben is quick to protest. "But it might help if you knew the degree of what's happening, Miss Pryde," he tells her.
"I'll know where you are if that happens," she tells him over her shoulder. She turns back to Warren and looks him in the eyes. "For now, I need to help Warren focus, okay? Don't worry, we'll be fine."
Ben nods his head reluctantly and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
Kitty kneels in front of Warren and places her hands on his shoulders to steady him before his tears turn into quaking sobs. "Warren, look at me," she tells him until he locks eyes with hers. "Now, I know it can be hard to control your power when you're sick, especially when it's doing something new. It can be a little scary, just like the first time you discovered your powers. What I want you to focus on is what you do know. Concentrate on how you've always used your power up to now and do that. Are you ready?"
Warren nervously licks his lips. "What if it doesn't work?"
"You've had the hiccups before, right?" Kitty explains patiently. "It can make talking a little harder, but you can still talk. This is just like that." She gives him a warm smile and Warren blushes. "Now go on and do your thing."
The young teen squints his eyes and reaches out with his power, seizing the airwaves that are already coursing through him. Just as his teacher had predicted, he feels the connection as soon as it's established and absorbs them in a manner much like a sunbather absorbs the rays of our nearest star. His mouth opens and allows the broadcast to emerge from his throat, which works like an organic loudspeaker. To the relief of both of them, the intercom system falls silent.
Kitty heaves a sigh. "Good work, kid. I knew you could do it," she tells Warren, using one hand to muss his hair.
Warren does not respond, but a goofy, slightly embarrassed grin creeps across his face. He suddenly sneezes again and the broadcast changes to a blues station.
"Well, at least the worst is over," Kitty says with a cough as she inspects him.
Outside and unseen, a pair of men in padded, dark clothing scan the grounds with night vision goggles. The focus is primarily on the ONE sentinels. One of them tips the speaker bud attached to his faceplate and says, "Start the attack."
The ONE sentinels have stationed themselves at strategic points on the grounds. All around them, the 198 are milling about, wide awake after the ruckus caused by Shortwave's power. Even for robots, the sentinels seem tense.
\Report.\
\No further disturbances on this unit. Looks like it really was just some fluke.\
\This is what I hate about guarding mutants. Even when it's just an accident, they still end up causing more trouble than most people do on-- Hey, do you see that?\
As one, the attention of the sentinels shifts to the edge of the institute grounds. There, standing in a demure, yet alluring pose is a sentinel with an immense blue bow on the back of its head and a ridiculous metal dress hooked around its waist. A soft purplish glow surrounds it.
\Yoo-hoo! Oh boysssss!\
\--the Hell?\
\Freeze!\ one of the pilots yells, and the sentinel that he's in levels an arm at the new arrival. \Identify yourself... whatever you are!\
At that moment, lone figures hiding behind bushes and trees at the sentinels' feet spring into action. They dash past them in dark blurs of motion and slap hand-sized devices to the steel boots. Glowing red tentacles, like the lines of a circuit board, erupt from the contact points and snake their way up the legs.
\What?!?\ a pilot manages before his sentinel trembles violently. The other sentinels follow suit. \What's going on?!\
The girl sentinel tilts her head to one side and says, \Isn't it obvious? Well I'll tell you half the story: I'm a hologram! You'll figure the rest out soon enough.\ With that, she blows them a kiss and winks out of existence.
One of the sentinels lifts its arms and places its hands flat across its eyes.
\What are you doing?!\
\I'm not! Nothing's responding! It's acting on its own!\
Another sentinel moves, placing its hands over the sides of its head, while another crosses them over its mouth. \Something's overridden the controls!\
\Send a ground team out there! Find out who's doing this and stop them! And somebody get Reyes and Cooper!\
The final sentinel lowers its arms, crossing its hands just below the waist.
\Ah, crap.\
Warren is seated at the kitchen table, where Kitty sets a steaming bowl of soup in front of him.
"Chicken noodle," Kitty proclaims. "Fresh from the microwave. When in doubt, always go with the classics." She takes a seat across from him with a bowl of her own.
For the moment, at least, Warren's broadcasts have stopped.
The fourteen-year-old dips his spoon into the cloudy broth. "Thanks," he says quietly.
"Don't mention it," Kitty says with a cough. "Us mutants with colds have to stick together, right?"
Warren holds his spoon in front and blows at the soup to cool it. "Do you really think that's why my powers started doing something new?"
Kitty nods. "New ways of using a power often manifest during moments when the body or mind is stressed, and mutants who control elements, energies or forces are rarely limited to the first talent they exhibit. I'm sure with a little creativity and a lot of practice you'll find all sorts of ways to use your power."
The boy's eyes practically sparkle at Kitty's claim. "I wanted to call myself 'Jukebox' when I enrolled, but Miss Frost didn't think it reflected my powers well enough."
"Hm," Kitty says into a spoonful of her soup to avoid saying what she really thinks of Emma. "So, how did you find out? That you're a mutant, I mean. If you don't mind my asking."
Warren sniffs uncomfortably. "It's kinda embarrassing," he says reluctantly.
"Sorry," Kitty says as she grabs for a tissue from the box in the middle of the table. "Didn't mean to pry."
"No, it's okay," Warren assures her. "I mean, you're a teacher, so you're not allowed to laugh, right?"
Kitty smiles and holds up a hand. "Scout's honor," she says with mock solemnity.
Warren returns the smile, looking more relaxed. "Well, all right."
o o o
His thoughts trail back to his early childhood. He is in a playground, standing on a tire swing that is at the peak of its rise. Hanging from his neck is a blanket that has been tied to resemble a cape. The little boy is looking toward the ground with a thrilled expression.
"I always knew I was a mutant. Even when I was little. The only thing I didn't know was what kind of mutant I was."
His memories shift to himself struggling to pick up a rock that is almost as large as himself. His eyes are pressed shut and his teeth are bared in a fierce snarl. The boulder appears not to care.
"I practiced all the time so that when I got my powers I'd be really good at them. Mom was always nice about it, but she had to get me out of trouble a lot..."
His next memory is of himself at the top of a rock climbing wall, clinging to it in terror and looking down at his mother, who is calling up to him.
"…A whole lot, actually. I knew there were people who didn't like mutants, but I didn't have much of a problem with it. I was bigger than most of the other kids, and I had a lot of friends who let me decide what games we should play."
He is only slightly younger than now, sitting on the passenger side of a black SUV that his mom is driving. His mom reaches over and changes the radio station.
"Mom!" he yells in protest.
"My show's coming on, Sport. You know the rule."
"But that's my favorite song!"
His mother sighs. "They'll play it again, Warren."
"But I want to hear it now!"
Warren's shoots her a nasty look and screws up his face in concentration.
"And that's when it happened."
With a look of utter shock, Warren's mouth gapes wide and the song he had been listening to comes pouring out. His mother glances at him in surprise, but her hands remain on the wheel.
He slaps both hands over his mouth to contain the music, but a little of it still bleeds through.
An impish grin spreads over his mom's face. "Ha! Guess we finally found out what your mutant power is!"
At the kitchen table, Kitty is staring at Warren, looking slightly dumbfounded. "She… took it pretty well," Kitty says with a swallow.
"Too well," Warren moans. "I asked her to send me here as soon as I figured out how to turn it off, but she said 'No way' forever. She didn't think anybody would be scared of me, since my power couldn't hurt anyone, and she was afraid of me getting hurt because of all the enemies the X-Men have."
"I hate to say it," Kitty says, "but she had a point. At least about the last part. So what changed her mind?"
Warren grabs a tissue. "M-Day," he says a bit sadly. "With all the attention mutants were getting from the government after most of us lost our powers, she decided to ah-ah-Ah-AH-CHOO!!"
He hurls his nose at the tissue, sneezing violently, and when he lifts his face a clear and disturbing transmission comes from his mouth.
\--status?\
\Second floor sweep is complete. The gas will have everyone out for at least an hour, and the sentinels--\
Warren shuts the signal down and Kitty looks at him in alarm. "Warren, wait!" she says.
"What's wrong?" he asks. "I was just--"
"I need you to find that frequency again." Kitty carefully sets her spoon down and walks over to his side of the table. "Can you do that, and maybe lower the volume slightly?"
"That sounded like a live transmission," Kitty thinks, "and if they were talking about here..."
Warren gives her a doubtful look. "I-I'll try," he says.
A moment later he opens his mouth and the sounds of the transmission return.
\--I think there might be someone in the kitchen.\
Kitty and Warren hear the next words and their eyes widen in horror.
\Go check it out.\
"Hide," Kitty says quietly but with unmistakable urgency. Warren immediately cuts the transmission and they both abandon their seats.
))Cuckoos!(( Kitty sends mentally. ))Phoebe, Celeste, Mindee! Wake up!(( "They're not answering," she thinks. "All the kids… The school's under attack and none of the X-Men will be back for hours!"
They both look around for likely hiding spots. On the way Kitty pauses to grab a large cast iron pan.
Warren hurries over to the back and burrows his way into a cabinet under the counters. He looks to Kitty for approval before quietly shutting the door behind him. Kitty has found her own spot next to the door stop. She has her back pressed firmly against the wall and is clutching the pan with both hands, ready to strike.
Kitty's eyes are pressed shut and her throat constricts as she tracks the heavy sound of approaching boots.
"Don'tcough-don'tcough-don'tcough."
The tips of two boots stop at the edge of the doorway. "Nobody's here," someone says. His voice is slightly muffled, as if speaking through a mask.
"You're wrong," another voice says with authority. "There's steam rising from the soup over there. Gas the place."
"You got it."
Kitty chews her lower lip. "Hold your breath, Warren!" she thinks.
A gloved hand reaches into the room, clutching a thin silver canister. The spray control is pressed, but all that comes out is a blast of air with a "pffffttt!!"
The figure standing in the doorway turns toward his companion. They are both cloaked in dark riot gear and wear military style gas masks. "Huh. Guess we used it all upstairs."
He has barely finished speaking when Kitty strikes. She flings herself around, using the weight of the pan to add to her momentum, and smashes the cooking implement full in the man's face.
SMACK!!
The impact knocks the intruder several feet back. His mask cracks open and he falls to the ground in intense pain.
"Holy--!" his companion blurts.
"Ohhhwwaaiiieee" is all the other one can say.
\Backup!\ the one left standing cries urgently into his mouthpiece. "We need backup! Urk!\
Kitty hurls herself at the second man, driving her shoulder into him. WAM! "Gotta do this quickly," Kitty thinks. "The headache's back and- uaghhh, I hate being sick."
The two of them fall to the floor together. Kitty is the first to her feet.
"Warren, RUN!"
Two more intruders arrive just as the man Kitty tackled is picking himself up. "Grab her!" one of them yells.
Kitty assumes a battle stance, but her feet are unsteady and she looks horribly uncomfortable. The effect makes her seem tiny compared to the men she is confronting. "Hello, God..." she thinks.
One of the agents lumbers forward with his arms thrown out. In a fluid motion Kitty ducks under and slams her elbow into his gut. The impact doubles him over and knocks his breath out. "Hrkkkkkkk!!"
"...if I could trouble you for just one small favor..."
Another agent grabs her from behind, wrapping his arms around her. Kitty throws her head back, bashing his jaw ("Ow!") and then savagely stomping on his foot with her heel ("Aii!"). The jolts of pain are enough to loosen his grip and Kitty tears free.
"...please make my stomach stop doing somersaults..."
Kitty charges toward another, with her fists at the ready, but a sudden look of alarm crosses her face. She pitches forward and drops to her hands and knees.
"BLEARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"
The man she had been planning to attack recoils slightly from Kitty's unexpected assault. The others, however, waste no time in seizing the opportunity to grapple her away. By the time they've hauled her off the floor, all the fight is drained out of her.
"...Right, so you'll get back to me on that, then?"
"We've got her," one of them says with apparent relief.
"Let her go!" Warren shouts from the door.
"Warren, No!" Kitty shouts. "I could phase, if I could only focus!" she thinks as she strains against her captors to no effect.
The boy ignores her warning and hurls himself at the men. He does not get very far. They're ready for him. The one not busy with his teacher steps aside and snags him as he passes by.
"Gotcha!" the man yells. Warren kicks and struggles in classic kid fashion, and the agent has to brace himself just to keep his grip. "Hey! Stop squirmin'!" the man yells, to no effect whatsoever.
\The situation is now under control. Just a couple of students who got the midnight munchies.\ one of them reports.
\Gas 'em,\ they hear someone respond through his helmet's small speaker.
\We used all the gas upstairs.\
The speaker is silent for a moment. \We don't have time for this. Find a room, lock them in and make sure they don't break out.\
"You heard the man." The three of them attempt to march their captives back into the kitchen, but Kitty and Warren continue to make nuisances out of themselves. Despite both being weak from their illness, they manage to turn the journey back to the kitchen into a wrestling match that ends at the doorway, as they brace their feet against the frame every time they try to move further in.
"This is like trying to get a cat into a pet carrier!" one of the agents grumbles.
The one who seems to be in charge in this particular group gives Kitty a little shake and says, "Hey, listen! I don't want to hurt you two, okay? That's not the job, but so help me, if you kids don't settle down I will cut off one of the boy's fingers!"
Kitty looks outraged at the threat. "He's just a child!"
"Exactly. I need you both to calm down, and I'm not going to get that by threatening to hurt you. So what's it going to be?"
Kitty nervously chews on her lower lip. "I don't have much of a choice," she thinks, "and it will give me a chance to think of a plan."
Warren also heard the threat, but is still struggling. "No! No! No!"
"Warren!" Kitty barks at him. "Stop it!"
The boy looks at her desperately. "But M-"
"No!" Kitty cuts him off before he can address her by her title. "Remember what the man said. We're just a couple of students, right? We can't beat these trained men."
The words have the desired effect. Warren gives Kitty a studied look and nods slowly. His body sags a bit as he ceases his struggles.
In short order they are brought into the kitchen and then the pantry, where they are dumped among the cans, boxes of food and other knick-knacks stored on the shelves to either side. "Now stay there," the leader says before shutting them inside. "Make sure they don't get out," they hear him tell one of the others, and fading footfalls follow.
Kitty moves to the back and is overwhelmed by another coughing fit. Warren hurries over to check on her. "Are you all right, Miss Pryde?" he asks with a slight sniffle.
"I just need a moment," Kitty wheezes. "The whole school... All the students are in danger," she thinks, "and I can barely go two minutes without coughing or sneezing. But there isn't anyone else to stop these guys. Why isn't ONE doing anything?"
Elsewhere, on the school grounds, the sentinels are side-by-side, arms locked around each others' shoulders, feet kicking in synch while can-can music plays over their speakers. The mutants of the 198 have gathered a safe distance from them and are hollering jeers and encouragement as they enjoy the show.
\Colonel Reyes is not gonna like this, is he?\
\Shut up.\
Back in the pantry, Warren sits on his knees and tries to be patient as he watches his teacher. "Miss Pryde?"
Kitty tries to give him a reassuring smile. "Hey, we're going to get out of this, okay?" She hikes a thumb at herself. "Don't forget what I do. This place can't hold me."
"Are my friends going to be okay?" he asks tentatively.
Resisting the urge to wince at his question, Kitty places a hand on his shoulder. "That's what you're going to help me make sure of."
Warren's breath catches. "I-I am?"
"Of course," Kitty tells him. Dropping her hand, she presses herself against the back wall. "First things first, though. I'm just going to phase through for a moment to check things ou-ough-ah...
"CHOO!!"
For a moment, the world becomes nothing but a set of empty pajamas flying in the air. Half a hair of a second later there is a desperate flurry of movement, and Kitty is huddled in the back of the pantry, clutching her clothing tightly against her skin. She stares daggers at Warren and her voice becomes pure acid.
"You. Didn't. See. Anything."
Warren's eyes seem to have become as wide as saucers and his face has taken the shade of an overripe tomato. "N-no Miss Pryde! N-nothing!" He sees the demand in Kitty's eyes and obediently faces the door without being asked. In the back of his mind he thinks. "I am the luckiest kid in the world!"
"Okay, you can turn around now."
Warren does as instructed and sees that Kitty is once again clad in her sleepwear. She still seems a bit self conscious, but does her best to disguise it.
"Sorry I went all Linda Blair on you," Kitty apologizes. "I probably should have handled that better."
"That's okay," Warren tells her. "You're still not as scary as Mr. Logan."
"She knows 'The Exorcist?'" the boy thinks. "She just gained, like, three 'cool' points!"
Kitty makes a sound that is half laugh, half chuckle. "Yeah, he sometimes has that effect on people." She looks around thoughtfully. "Especially during pop quizzes."
"How are we going to get out?" Warren asks, sounding worried.
Kitty starts to scan the shelves, tracing her fingers along the bags and cans near the edge. "I was thinking a pop quiz."
What little color is left drains out of Warren's face. "Serious?"
"Don't worry," she smiles. "It'll be open book. It's just, phasing our way out of here is officially off the table, so I'd like to see if we can do a few things with your powers in order to swing something a bit more old fashioned."
Warren's interest perks at the direction Kitty's plan is taking. "Like what?"
Kitty grabs a couple of large cans labeled "Baked Beans." She hefts one of them to test its weight.
"An ambush."
"Cool!" Warren brightens. "Should I pretend to be sick?"
Kitty gives him a long, reproachful look.
"Oh, yeah," the boy says sheepishly. "So how are we gonna lure him inside?"
Kitty hands him one of the cans and resumes rooting around the pantry. "We'll start with a little science experiment. Did you know that you can build a simple radio transmitter out of a few ordinary household objects?"
The situation outside has shown no improvement. The sentinels are now engaged in a clunky game of leapfrog of massive proportions. The 198 are still enjoying the show, but have moved back to a safer distance. The air is filled with their laughter.
Inside the mansion, the man standing outside the pantry receives an unexpected transmission. \The prisoners have escaped!\
The man cups a hand against his helmet. \What was that?\
There is a heavy burst of static, and the message is repeated. \I said the prisoners have escaped! Did you leave your post?\
\I've been here the whole time!\ the man protests. \You must have found some other kids!\
The static returns, a steady, loud KRCHHHHHHHHH.
\You're breaking up. Say again?\
\...make sure. Go in there and check. Go in there and check!\
\All right, stop riding me!\ He turns and reaches for the doorknob.
"Sheesh. Who do those guys think they are, bossing me around?"
The man does not notice a small figure watching him from the top of the fridge. It is mostly concealed by the shadows, but there is enough exposed to reveal a pair of eyes, a toothy snout and the tip of a small wing.
"Things like that really burn me up."
"He's coming in," Warren whispers from his station near the door. The doorknob shakes a bit as it is jiggled from the other side.
Kitty sets down the crude device she had been speaking into and prepares her bean can weapons. "Perfect! As I thought, all I had to do was slap together this transmitter and have Warren re-direct the signal to their communicators. Common Household Science: One, Bad Guys: Zero."
The movement of the doorknob becomes violent and pronounced. "Whoa, he really wants in," Warren remarks.
A look of alarm crosses Kitty's face and at the last moment she says, "Warren, get back!"
The boy does as he's told just in time. The door bursts open and the man runs in, screaming, while a jet of flame roasts him from behind. "Getimoffme! Getimoffme!" the man yells as he falls against the back wall.
"Lockheed!" Kitty squeals with delight as she recognizes her companion. "You found us!" The small alien dragon hovers at the door, ready to continue punishing the man who had been guarding it.
"Grrrr."
"Miss Pryde?" Warren says, pointing at the intruder huddled at the back of the pantry.
"Hm? Oh, right." With that, Kitty chucks her can at the man, clocking him square in the head with a THUD! He obligingly sags over, unconscious.
"Nice work, Shortwave!" Kitty says, and Warren beams under both the praise and the use of his codename.
"Now what?" he asks eagerly.
Kitty quickly becomes all business. "We need information. I want to know if the kids are safe, I want to know who these people are and what they're planning, and I especially want to know..." Kitty storms out of the kitchen with Lockheed and Warren close behind
"...why our 'guardians' are sleeping on the job."
When Kitty reaches a window she pulls open the curtains and peers outside. Her jaw immediately drops in shock.
The sentinels are sitting in a circle, cross-legged, playing patty-cake. Each time their palms slap against each other it makes a THOOM! sound.
From her vantage at the window, Kitty quietly says, "I think I'm going to cry."
Not much later...
Kitty, Warren and Lockheed are huddled in a small room in an unoccupied corner of the mansion. "Okay, we should be able to talk in here without being noticed. It's time we did a little eavesdropping. Warren?"
The young teen nods and opens his mouth. After a moment of concentration, the broadcast from the invaders' communication frequency emerges.
\Are all the Perimeter Pods in place?\
\We've got top to ground,\ comes an answering voice. \We're having a little trouble navigating the basement complex. It doesn't seem to end, and half of it's sealed off.\
\Leave it. There was no mention of the basement in the briefing. The deal was to transport the mansion and the students. If our benefactor wants anything more than that, it's his problem. Get back to the living room. I'm setting the timer for ten minutes.\
"Ten minutes!" Warren yelps as he snaps off the transmission. "We've got to do something!" He starts to dart for the door, but Kitty catches him by the arm.
"Warren, no!" Her expression is stern and calculating. "First, we need a plan."
A group of eight or nine men are gathered in the living room. They no longer have their helmets on, so their faces are fully visible. The coffee table has been pushed aside to make room for the control board. The readout shows 02:31 remaining on the timer.
Suddenly, loud music begins to blare over the mansion's intercom. The men are all startled and look around wildly. While they're distracted, a hand sneaks out from nowhere and quietly unplugs the television.
"What's that?!"
"It's nothing," the largest of them says. "Probably just those kids we caught. Jenkins isn't here, so they probably tricked him and escaped. We'll deal with them after we teleport."
The music changes once, and then suddenly cuts off. A moment later a ghostly voice urges, "GET OUUUUUUUTTTTT!!"
One of the men seems to be losing his nerve. "A-are you sure?" he asks.
"Yes! Get a hold of yourself. They're just screwing around."
Taptap
"Wait," another one says. "You hear that?"
Taptap
"Where's it coming from?"
"Over here I think." The man points to the big screen television in the back of the room.
Taptap
The sound is rather urgent. A trio of men are curious enough to slowly venture closer to investigate.
"GET OUUUUUUTTTTTTT!!"
One of the men nearing the television looks around the room wildly. "I swear, when I catch that kid..."
Taptap
"Hey guys," another says as he practically touches the screen with his nose, "I think the noise is coming from inside—"
At that point Kitty's head comes through the screen, her hair carefully arranged to cover her face.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Hold it together, don't sneeze," Kitty thinks. Once her head has completely emerged, she reaches one hand out as if she were climbing through the television. "This would look so much better if there was static playing on the set, but my phasing would completely fry it. Don't sneeze."
"Oh, crap, I'm out of here!" With that pronouncement, four of the men lose their nerve and bolt out of the room.
Kitty pulls herself the rest of the way out of the television and stands facing the men left, including their leader.
"It's just the girl," he yells at the others. "She's using her mutant power is all. Grab her!"
They hesitate, but one of them works up the courage to rush toward her. Before he gets close enough to take a swipe, Kitty points toward the ceiling. He pauses, looks up, and pales.
Hovering in the air, Lockheed looks back at the man and blows a thin jet of flame at him.
Kitty pulls her hair out of her face and rushes for the control panel. "Thanks, Lockheed!" she shouts. "Keep them pinned down!"
Almost as an afterthought, she says, "And try not to set the furniture on fire."
She glances at the control panel, and notices the timer click over to 00:59
"Less than a minute," she thinks. "Time to switch this thing off," she announces.
"No!" the leader of the agents says. He tries to rush forward but is driven back by a gout of flame. "You mustn't stop that countdown!"
"Why not?" Kitty asks warily, her eyes carefully studying the dials and buttons.
"It's building a charge," he explains. "If it's turned off or broken before it finishes we'll all be blown to pieces!"
Kitty scowls. "This thing will explode?!"
The man swallows hard. "Everything will explode."
"Miss Pryde?" Warren says from the doorway. He coughs and looks around the room warily.
"Stay right there, Warren. You've done your part well, now it's my turn." She resumes grilling the leader. "What are these numbers next to the timer?"
"Coordinates," he says, followed by, "You're a teacher here?"
"Not longitude/latitude. Not XYZ," she thinks. "What format?!" she demands.
"I don't know! We were given a set of numbers and I typed them in!"
The timer now reads 00:10
"Interrogation's over," Kitty thinks. "I have to do something now."
00:09
00:08
00:07
"This better work," Kitty mumbles as she taps away at the keypad. She is doing it with one hand as the other is massaging her forehead in a futile attempt to rub away her migraine headache.
"What are you doing?" the leader asks in a worried voice.
00:06
00:05
00:04
"Changing the destination," Kitty tells him.
"You fool! If you can't decipher the coordinates where can you send us?"
00:03
00:02
The numbers on the panel next to the countdown suddenly change to a series of '9s' from one end to the other.
00:01
"Nowhere."
00:00
Everything around them, the entire mansion, becomes bathed in light...
The light disperses and everyone looks around with uncertainty. "Warren, check outside," Kitty tells her student.
The boy runs to the window furthest from the agents and looks through it. "We're still here!" he announces. "And the sentinels are acting normal again!"
"That's all I needed to hear," Kitty says, and thrusts her arm through the machine, letting her phasing power fry the electronics inside.
Warren looks back at her. "How'd you save us?"
"Certain systems that map things by numbers have an upper limit that it treats as an invalid address. I figured if I changed the destination to something it didn't recognize, it would default to our present location."
"You didn't know?" the leader gapes. "You could have accidentally sent us to Outer Space, or Hell or something! Are you crazy?!"
Just then a team of ONE soldiers bursts into the living room and train their rifles on the men.
"Why don't you ask me that again after you've spent some time with our guests?" Kitty replies.
A few hours later...
\Their instructions came through third-party channels, so we still don't know who hired them, but we're examining the equipment they brought to see if we can trace it to the source.\
\Understood. Thanks, Val, keep me posted.\
The sleek form of the Blackbird glides into the hanger, landing softy. Almost before the stairs have finished their path to the floor, Emma Frost appears at the door, looking deeply concerned. "The children..."
Emma turns a corner on the second floor, followed closely by Scott and Peter. They find a quiet hallway, the only signs of activity coming from Kitty Pryde, who is checking one of the rooms.
Kitty gently shuts the door and turns to the X-Men.
"Kitty-" Scott starts to say.
"Shh." Kitty says before coughing weakly. "They're still sleeping." She staggers toward them, but by the time she gets halfway there she pitches forward.
"Katya!" Peter cries in alarm and jumps ahead to catch her from falling. He looks at Kitty's face, noting her closed eyes and even breathing. "Did you-?" he asks Emma.
"No, though it would have been a kindness," the Headmistress says. "I caught a surface read. She's been spending the whole night checking on the students like a mother hen. She was barely holding herself together, and she's exhausted."
"I'll take her to her room," Peter says.
"Thank you, Peter," Emma says. "I may have to post a guard outside that young lady's door to see that she stays there and gets well."
As Emma watches Peter carry Kitty away, she calmly thinks to herself. "You really are very protective of the students, aren't you, Katherine? I suppose we'll always have our differences, but on this, at least, it seems we see eye to eye."
Next: Gloom in the Forecast!
Notes:
This issue takes place before the "End of Grey's" arc in Uncanny X-Men
The memo Nick Fury leaves Kitty is a reference to the events in "Enemy of the State" from Wolverine.
This story is a little bit sillier than the rest of the series. Overall I've tried to make this more "the lighter side of being a mutant," than most X-titles, and after the grim tone of the previous issue I decided to swing the pendulum in the other direction in order to compensate.
THE CAT'S MEOWS
Another fine effort, Melody. As someone who's ambivilant at best regarding Pete Wisdom(no writer other than Warren Ellis has done anything remotely interesting with him), I enjoyed your take on the guy. I didn't find it to be character assasination, but a fine well-rounded portrayal of a rogue-hero who walks the side of the angels while freely acknowledging that he isn't one. He and Kitty make better friends than lovers anyway.
Kirayoshi
Thanks, Kirayoshi!
I'll admit I'm something of a neophyte when it comes to Pete Wisdom, but he's a fun character and I think he and Kitty play off each other very well. I suspect that even if Kitty would prefer otherwise, we haven't heard the last from him...
Have you ever thought it odd children sing about alcaholic beverages being passed around while in a moving veihicle? That would be funny to see a bus load of drunk children, I suppose, but I liked your story, keep it up.
The Bud
Ah, innocence. Travel music and nursery rhymes certainly do cover quite a bit of subject matter that normally wouldn't be thought appropriate for children. Thanks for the kind words, Bud!