CHAPTER 4: Lonely
TOBIAS POV:
I miss Tris, but I try to not let it stop me from doing my best during past week, we have done fights, knife throwing and guns. I've done pretty good, and I'm third on our ranks, Right under Eric and Sean. The day we came, they instantly did a practice "fear landscape", trying to see what our fears are. Most people have between 10-15, I have only four. I set a new record at Dauntless, and got a new name, Four.
Here, I've become reborn- a whole new person. I made friends with some Dauntless-born initiates, who have shown me what life at Dauntless is like, and I love it. We have freedom here. Today, we start the fear landscape phase, the final stage. Amar, my instructor, calls me in first. I get up from my seat and walk into the room. I inspect it closely, having only been in here once. There is a reclined chair, like one in a doctor's office, and a computer behind it. That's where Amar can see my fears.
"You know the drill." He says, and I take a seat. He hands me the serum, and I down it. "Time to go inside your head, kid." Amar says, before everything fades to black. I'm on top of a building, it's tall, extremely tall. There is a ledge walking over to another building, and I realize there is no other way to go but down or across. Better to be fearful then to die. I think. I put one foot in the front of the other, making it across fast. I step into the window. A box, just how I was before. It's closing, becoming smaller and smaller around me
I scream. I don't know what else to do besides that. I want this to stop. I open my eyes, which hurt when adjusting to the light. The box is gone. In its place is a room, with a desk and a girl sitting in a chair. A gun sits neatly on the desk. It's beckoning me, and I know what I have to do. I sit up from the spot where the box once stood, and walk over and take the gun. I don't want to, but I have to. I take the gun, look away, and pull the trigger, the bullet hitting the innocent girl right in the forehead.
The simulation changes, It's my last fear. I'm sitting at a table, with Marcus across, for a moment, he looks calm. The moment is ruined when he lurches at me, his fingernails sharp like razor blades. I stumble off the seat, and run into the living room. There's another one. I frantically look for the door, but it is cinderblocked off. I run upstairs, stumbling and falling. Another Marcus emerges from the inside of the closet, while another comes from my parent's room, and another claws its way towards me from the bathroom.
This house is dark, with no windows. I'm surrounded by him. More and more Marcus's come from downstairs, and the bathroom, and my room. All I see is him, no floor, barely any walls. It's a simulation. I think. I search the walls for a picture or anything, but instead I find a doorknob, I turn it and run, theres an empty room, with a window. The trail of Marcus' follow me, but I bodyslam the glass and shatter it, leaving the house behind. The simulation ends, and I sit up instantly.
I look towards Amar, his face filled with worry. "How did you get out?" Amar asks. I think, and I'm not sure. "Not sure." I respond.
He nods, "Is there one in your old house?" He asks, and I shake my head no. "Normally people can't do that..." He trails off.
"Whatever, you can go now." I sit up, brushing myself off, and exit the room. Abnegation would've been easier, I would've had Tris. Too late now.
TRIS POV:
One week, 13 hours. That's how long I've been without him. Without my Tobias. School has returned, and I embrace it, using it as a distraction from my lingering sadness. Today is Friday, and I sit in history, learning about what happened in the boring year 2017. The teacher is talking about the crazy hurricanes, and how the world was. A part of me wishes I was alive then, no factions. I would have the freedom to travel wherever I want. We are the only remaining people, and there is nowhere fun to travel. There are no beaches, no ponds, or lakes. Only us.
I don't realize I've been feverishly tapping my pencil against my notebook until a girl next to me points it out, and I stop. The day is almost over, and then I return home, no distraction, and the lingering sadness will take over my body. As if on cue, our bell rings. I'm out of my seat lightning fast.
Soon, I'm home. I didn't wait for Caleb today, and he is home by the time I open the door. "You barely wait for me anymore." Caleb says, a hint of sadness in his voice. Most of the time I walked home with him, and sometimes Tobias. I sigh, and try to stay calm, but I explode.
"Caleb, in case you weren't aware, a week ago I lost my best friend, and I don't know when or if I'm ever gonna see him again, so boohoo." I snap, and Caleb is taken aback. I stomp upstairs, and slam my door. I want to cry, but that's selfish. Letting out my own emotions is considered selfish. I plop on my bed, tears welling in my eyes. I sniffle, and wipe them away with my sleeve. A knock on my door forces me to open my eyes, and turn over. "What?" I ask, annoyed.
"You have a letter, a voice speaks. My mother. I open my door slightly, and snatch it from her hands. "I'm here for you always, Beatrice." She says. I make a mhm noise back and open the letter. It's from Tobias.
Dear Beatrice Prior,
I've been here 5 days, and I'm conflicted. We have been doing fighting, knives, and tomorrow we will shoot guns. I've won almost every fight, thanks to Amar, my instructor. I've also made friends with some Dauntless-born initiates, who have showed me what life here is like. We get to go in these fear landscapes, where we face our worst fears. Most people have 10-15, I set a record with only four fears. Everyone calls me Four, nobody knows who I really am. I'll send a more detailed letter soon, But I miss you, Tris. I'll send as much as possible.
Love, Tobias.
This letter only makes me cry more. I don't try to fight it, I let it all out. One week down, 23 months and 3 weeks to go.
A/N: Probably gonna do a large timeskip next chapter. I took the fear landscape from "Four: The initiate. It's not word for word, but It's based off of that. ENJOY AND REVIEW!