This meeting takes place after the conclusion of my story The Exhalation Combustion Investigation (as will all future meetings). Spoilers if you've not read it.

Thank you in advance for your reviews!

The Fowler Cooper Publication Federation

March 2015

Primary Topic: The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel by Jasper Fforde

Additional book(s) mentioned: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Sheldon was at an impasse in his equation, his thoughts starting to meander, and he was wondering again why he tried to work after nine in the evening, when his phone chimed. Happy for the distraction, he took it out of his pocket to read his new email.

"Amy?" He shifted so he could see her sitting at her desk. "What are you doing?"

"Wasting time on the wonderland that is the Internet." She turned to him.

"Since when does wasting time include updating your relationship status on Facebook to indicate we are now married? I just received an email wanting confirmation. You know I don't include my relationship status on Facebook."

"Since I discovered all fifteen of your Facebook friends and your Facebook enemy already knows we're married via the gossip machine that is life. It's been five weeks."

He raised his eyebrows. "How did you learn that?"

"I ran into your enemy in the cafeteria today, and he called me, and I quote, 'Mrs. Cooper, the old ball and chain.'"

Anger rose in Sheldon's chest. "I hope you explained to Kripke that type of language is unacceptable by breaking his nose."

Amy got up and came to him at the white board. "That's sweet, Sheldon, that you're defending me against the slur of being a ball and chain."

"I was referring to Mrs. Cooper. It's demeaning to your education and title. It's not even your name."

Amy smiled and leaned against him, looking over his equation. "But ball and chain is okay?"

"As I'm currently wearing a wedding ring for you, Dr. Fowler, I would say it's àpropos." He laughed at his own joke, but he wondered if she would smile at it, too. He hoped so. But his phone chimed again. "What fresh hell is this? Does Facebook now include a coitus status? Why don't you just put it on Twitter for the whole world to read?"

Amy did smile at that, while he read the email. "Oh. You've posted that you finished The Eyre Affair and you tagged me in it?"

"Do you not want the whole world of sixteen to know you occasionally read novels? I'll remove the tag on that post if you want."

Sheldon did not miss that she was offering to remove the tag on only this post. Clever Amy. He chose to ignore it. "Shall we discuss it? I think I need to clear my head of numbers. This works, but I don't like it."

"Yes, let's." She moved toward the kitchen, to start making tea. "Sleepytime?"

"It's after nine, is it not?" He sat down.

"Did you enjoy The Eyre Affair?"

"Meh," he shrugged.

"What didn't you like about it?"

"I didn't say I didn't like it. If I didn't like it would have uggh. I said meh, which clearly indicates mediocrity, not dislike." He took the offered mug of tea.

Amy sat across from him at the kitchen island. "This was very surprising to me, but I felt the same."

"Why is that surprising? If we both thought it, it's clearly the correct opinion."

"Do you remember me telling you that I've read it before, when it was first published?"

"Of course."

"When I first read it, I loved it. I couldn't put it down. I waited impatiently for each sequel, and I loved each of them also. That's why I thought we would like. It's about Jane Eyre, which we've both read, but it's also science fiction. But this time, I thought, I don't know, it was missing something." She shrugged.

"I disagree. I think it had too many somethings. There was too many Shakespeare references. There was the vampire and werewolf hunter that was forgotten. There was episode in which Thursday plugged the temporal distortion that didn't progress the plot. Which, may I add, was completely unscientific. It took too long to arrive at what was supposed to be the primary purpose the book. It was page 266 before the Jane Eyre manuscript became a plot point."

"But you didn't hate it? That sounds like a lot of hate to me," Amy raised her eyebrows and took a drink.

"No, I didn't hate it. It was original. I like the idea of various timelines, I always have. And, once it gets to the Jane Eyre portion, it moves quickly and is clever."

"You can thank Mr. Rochester for that. He's always been the best thing on any page in which he resides."

"Mr. Rochester?" He'd never thought about it before.

Amy nodded. "Yes, Mr. Rochester has always appealed to me. He thinks deeply, he speaks beautifully, he knows the truth in every situation. There's something in his brooding nature I like."

"But he lies to Jane!" Sheldon was confused by Amy's ardor.

"I know. I didn't say he was perfect." She paused and gave him a little smile. "Sheldon, remember what he says here, about life being too short to allow little jealousies to infringe upon one's happiness."

"I'm not jealous of a fictional character!" Really, that is preposterous.

Amy continued to smile at him, in her little, sweet, knowing way, and every bit of jealousy he was feeling evaporated. My Amy. Of that, he was certain.

"At least it was better that the original," Sheldon took a drink of his tea. He was relieved to change the subject.

"Jane Eyre? You don't like Jane Eyre?"

He sighed. "It's not a crime to dislike Jane Eyre, Amy. It was so tedious. All that early business at school. And then that tangent when she ran away and almost married a man named St. John. St. John? Naming your child that is just preparing him for decapitation."

Amy chuckled. "I don't fully disagree with you. It's so well written that the first time you read it you manage to overlook things like that, but I tried to reread it once and found all I wanted were the events at Thornfield Hall. However, it has wonderful quotes."

"Quotes, smuotes. What use are quotes when you have a superior mind and are well articulated?"

"I seem to remember you using a quote from Jane Eyre to avoid talking about your feelings." Amy smirked at him.

Drat. Amy knows me too well. He squirmed in his seat. "As I recall, it didn't help in the least. You just let me stand there and suffocate until I did discuss my feelings. I think that proves my point."

"It helped."

"It did?" He was surprised.

"Yes. Because it was so lovely. So it actually proves my point, there are wonderful quotes." She took a drink of her tea, and then looked deep in thought for a moment. "There's another I like a great deal: 'I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, great and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.'"

Sheldon liked that very much. Was it because he also knew love was a virus, a tiny but life-altering organism one was powerless to stop and for which there was no cure? Or was it because she couldn't help loving him again every time she saw him? How does one reply to that?

Inspiration struck him. "'Do you think I am an automaton? - a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you - and full as much heart! ... It is my spirit that addresses your spirit.'"

Amy gave him that smile and look he loved so much. I've pleased her. She spoke, "'"All my heart is yours, sir: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence forever.'"

Was this a contest? His competitive nature stirred. No one could beat him at memory recall, even Amy. He would win this game. "'I have little left in myself - I must have you. The world may laugh - may call me absurd, selfish - but it does not signify. My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.'"

"'I ask you to pass through life at my side - to be my second self, and best earthly companion.'"

He crossed his arms and enunciated sharply, "'You - you strange - you almost unearthly thing! - I love as my own flesh. You - poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are - I entreat to accept me as a husband.'"

This was met with silence. At first, Sheldon's chest puffed up a bit. I've won! But, looking at Amy's unreadable face, he thought about what he said. Maybe that quote had been a mistake. "I didn't mean you are poor and plain, Amy."

"I know, it's not that. I loved it. It's just that," she took another drink and mumbled into her cup, "I can't think of any more. You win."

Sheldon grinned. I knew it!

Amy spoke again. "About your equation. I think that you'll discover that if you make delta an independent variable, it will work better."

Sheldon raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had forgotten all about his mathematical difficulty. Could she be correct? He got up and walked to his white board. Amy is right. How is possible that he missed it? She walked over to join him.

"Ball and chain, eh?" she said with a smirk. She squeezed his arm and walked away. "I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"

"In a minute. I need to do something first."

"Take your time. I know how you are when you're in the middle of calculating," her voice faded as she walked down the hallway.

Sheldon changed his equation to Amy's more pleasing solution, and studied it for several minutes. He put the marker down with a gentle sigh. What a strange power she holds over me. He walked to his laptop and opened Facebook. He confirmed his Timeline reviews, and, with another sigh of contentment, changed his profile to include his relationship status.

Sheldon Lee Cooper is now married to Amy Farrah Fowler.

He looked at the words on the screen for a minute, and then he put his hands on the keyboard. He found himself grinning as he commented on his own status update.

"Reader, I married her."

This chapter represents the beginning of the M-rated companion series, Fowler Cooper Publication Federation Aftermath (aka Shamy Book Club After Dark), hereafter referenced as After Dark. The corresponding After Dark chapter is Chapter 1: The Gift. Please enjoy!