And the saga continues. My life has been so busy lately. I'm going through senior year at high school and that makes this time of year extremely hectic. But I get to move away from everything. Irrelevant note, but I've been flamed before for the violence and portrayal of violence in my stories in which people tell me that I wouldn't write those sort of things if I had ever gone through it. It's odd that my writing would make them assume that I've had an ideal life. Writing is a medium for the mind, after all. And I'm in my second foster home, for some very terrible things that happened to myself and my brother. But everything is incredibly better than it was and being a foster kid gives me great financial aid, and I'm pleased with who I am.
And the flames have been more than equaled out by the amazingness of my reviewers. All of your comments make so very happy and I love them all very much.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
his·to·ry
–noun, plural-ries.
A continuous, systematic narrative of past events as relating to a particular people, country, period, person, etc.
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Robin was worried. It was Wednesday, three days after their return from Gotham and Raven still wasn't back to the way that she should have been. There was more than enough proof, something should have triggered her memory by now.
But it hadn't.
Not that she wasn't trying. She was going to all of her classes, easily accomplished all of her assignments, and attended the group functions that she had previously been involved in. It was strange because while she was the same Raven she was also different.
Raven sat in the living room of their shared house, the television on. She was staring listlessly at the flashing channels, having watched so little television in her alternate life she wasn't sure if this was the same or different.
"Wait, leave it on that channel!"
Raven froze as Gar ran lightly down the hall, leaped over the side of the couch, and landed lightly on the cushion before fully relaxing. His eyes remained entirely glued on the television while Raven used the opportunity to study him.
Gar was vaguely like Beast Boy. He was older and his structure changed along with it. His face was elongated though still BB-like, and his body looked stretched, as though he were still in the process of growing. Though the eye shape and hair texture were the same, the colors weren't. The eyes were a green, but a realistic green this time, the hair was blond and shaggy as though to make up for a lack of fur.
It wasn't until the commercial that the force of Raven's gaze drew his attention. "Oh hey Rachel," he said in a careful voice. He had been avoiding her ever since her mind split.
"Raven," she corrected automatically.
He nodded quickly. "Right," he said, "I forgot."
"Did your parents die in Africa?" she suddenly asked him.
He was startled. "Uh, yeah. But...but how did you know that?"
"What?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "How did you know that my parents died in Africa?"
"No one knows that?" Raven asked in surprise.
"I'm not even supposed to know that," Gar said. "How on earth do you? Has someone been talking to you?"
"Why am I not supposed to know?" Raven asked.
"Tell me, how you do know!" Gar said insistently. "Who told you?"
"We all just knew that in the other world," Raven said slowly. "Your parents were researching."
"They were researching viruses to be used in bio-chemical warfare," Gar said quietly, "And became victims of it. It was hushed up because it's not ethical and the UN would freak. But someone contacted me to let me know how they really died. Everyone is supposed to believe that they were in a plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean."
Raven stared at him. "And were you adopted? A man named Stev-"
"I grew up in foster homes, Rae. Most good, some bad," Gar looked uncomfortable. "We've swapped stories before, it was hard to talk about and now you don't remember it?"
"No," she answered honestly, and then paused. "Are we all like this?"
"What, the whole amnesia thing?"
"No. The messed-up pasts and unfinished fights."
Gar stared at her and then shrugged. "Everyone's got a story, Rae."
She was silent for awhile. "You're a lot wiser than your counterpart."
"I was dumb in your world?"
"You were fifteen."
Raven retreated to her bedroom that night and didn't leave. The world was difficult and annoying. She didn't know how to handle this one and it was made worse by the fact that she had apparently been handling it before now. She sighed and crawled into a sitting up position. Meditation had always worked in the past.
…
Well it had always helped in the past, she admitted.
It wasn't until four a.m. hit that she was willing to admit her defeat. Unable to sleep, she walked out of her room and into the dark hallway. The scars all over her body still disturbed her and she wore a long tee-shirt that she found in one of the drawers to cover them up.
It ticked her off that she kept running into things in the hallways, it was too dark for her human self to see everything. "I hate this," she whispered and unbidden tears formed at her eyes.
She found herself feeling her way to the guest bedroom where Robin was staying despite her insistence that she take it instead. "It wouldn't be our room without you in it," he had said.
Her hands scrabbled at the door before finding the knob and turning it. The overly neat room allowed for her to make her way quickly across the floor and what moonlight there was made its way through the gaps in the curtains lit it enough for her to be able to crawl safely onto the bed that he was sleeping in. Her weight on the bed was just enough to stir him from sleep. "Raven?" he murmured sleepily.
The tears were still heavy on her cheeks and stung her eyes. "You would have woken up the very instant that I touched the doorknob," she cried. "You would have been up and ready to fight before you recognized me."
All tiredness left his face. "That's enough of this," he said and he grabbed her around her middle and pulled her down under the covers with him. "Raven," he said into her ear. "That place never existed. You live here and you live with me and you love me and you are happy here. There is no reason for you to be like this. And," he gazed at her as her hair tickled his skin, and the moonlight pooled on her face, "oh god, just let me touch you," he whispered.
Raven closed her eyes as his lips trailed all over her skin and his fingers traveled across her body. "I can prove to you that all of this is true," he murmured to her. "I just want you so badly."
"I…" she began, but he kissed her forcefully and then moved his mouth to her neck, sucking and nipping gently.
He forcefully turned them over and Raven was surprised at exactly how strong this Robin could be. The thought cleared her head a bit and she raised her hands to push him back. Instead he trailed his fingers across her skin and then up into her hair as his mouth found that place on her neck.
"R-Robin!" she cried out beneath him and he felt almost dizzy from the pleasure that hearing her cry out his name gave him.
His other hand slid up under the bottom edge of the tee-shirt that she was wearing and trailed lightly and warmly up her skin. Somewhere in the haze of sensation she could feel his fingers traveling over the ridges in her skin and she yanked herself away.
"Raven, what-" Robin began in a breathy voice.
"It's not my skin," she said in a heartbreaking voice. "Robin, this isn't my skin that you're touching."
His frustration mixed with the love and care and sorrow within him until his chest felt heavy. He pulled her shaking form into his arms and wrapped them tight around her. "Your father has been dead for eight years now Rae. Your body and flesh is entirely your own."
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"So I hear that your girl is crazy."
Robin's head jerked up to see who was speaking. It was Michael Peters, one of Kori's old friends that also hung out with Raven. Michael was a guy that Robin hated.
"You shouldn't speak about things that you don't know about," Robin said tensely.
It had been a bad day. Raven had come into his room as four in the morning and he came this close to being able to be with her and then instead he'd ended up holding her while she cried for over an hour. He could tell in the morning that she was avoiding contact with her own skin, anything that carried signs of the old abuse. He didn't want to leave her alone so he'd walked her to class thus making him late for his own. He had a headache from lack of sleep and frustration and his body ached from pure frustration.
And now he was stuck talking to this idiot and had to at least attempt to be polite for Kori's sake.
Michael took over the seat next to Robin in the class as they waited for the professor who was uncharacteristically late. "Dude, she totally is. I was there during her freakout, remember? It must be annoying. Granted I would still love to fuck her senseless."
Robin's fists tightened. "You should stop talking now."
It was clear that Michael was enjoying goading Robin. Michael had no reason to treat Robin well. He had wanted Raven for years and he was certain that if Robin was out of the way than he would get his chance. Not that he wanted to keep Raven. He just needed to know what it would be like to have her between the sheets.
"Come on you're married to her for god's sake. You can't stand to hear ideas about Raven and fucking?"
"Not from you," Robin said under his breath.
Michael hesitated for the briefest of moments, even he wasn't certain exactly how far he should go. "But doesn't she look like a freak with no clothes on?" he asked, voice carrying in the now entirely silent room. "Cause isn't her skin all fucked up from the fun with her papa?"
Robin's eyes flashed but he froze. It was unbelievable that someone would say those things. His mind was driven forcefully back to that morning when Raven couldn't bear to touch her own flesh and then to hear this idiot so casually reaffirm all of these horrors. It didn't even seem realistic.
"Good morning class," the professor said as she walked in. "I'm sorry that I'm late, there is some construction outside that wasn't there yesterday. Now, who wants to learn about economic business cycles from 1472?"
Robin automatically took notes during the lecture but his penmanship was cramped and forced, his mind was busy and his eyes were harsh. He just needed for this day to be over. Even Dr. Lendon seemed to know better than to ask him questions today. Normally he was one of her favorite targets as he always knew the answers and he was a natural class leader everyone else seemed to take their cues from him. But today he just exuded an air that said to not mess with him.
Then Michael leaned over and overtop of Robin's notes he scrawled 'we can talk about her body later.'
Robin didn't even know that he moved. Michael had been sitting in his chair but Robin had stood up and yanked him out of it and then threw him on the floor. He moved down to punch him in the face when he stopped himself and stood up. "I'm sorry professor but I've got to…" his mind searched for an excuse, "leave."
He grabbed his bag and headed towards the door of the nearly silent room. It was when he was halfway there that he somehow knew that Michael was behind him. He didn't even hear the scream of the girl in the row or of the professor shouting. He just knew. And before he could even think Robin had reached behind him and with a grip of steel he grabbed Michael's wrist and flung him into the whiteboard. Michael gasped but before he could fall Robin had hit him with a punch directly in the stomach, almost faster than anyone watching could follow.
Robin's eyes opened wide and he backed away. Raven's words from that morning echoed in his head.
You would have woken up the very instant that I touched the doorknob.
"Geez," a kid said as Robin walked out of the door. "With reflexes like that who needs friends?"
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Victor walked in the dining room the next day to see Robin scowling at a letter that he had apparently just opened. "What's up chief?" Victor asked as he crossed the room to get some grape juice.
"It's an insurance claim," Robin said distastefully.
"You break some shit?" Victor asked startled.
"Yeah," he said as he slid the letter across the table.
Victor took a gulp of his juice and then picked up the letter, scanned it, and choked. "What the hell?" he managed after several moments of coughing. "Michael Peters with a broken wrist, two ribs, and a bruised vertebrae? What did you do?"
Robin had his face buried in his arms which were stacked on the table. "I grabbed his wrist and threw him to the floor and then into the whiteboard and punched him."
"No offense man, but you're not strong enough to break his bones."
"Yesterday I was."
Victor was silent for a moment. "So why were you beating this punk up?"
Robin still felt angry as he thought about it. "He was saying things about Raven."
"How bad?" Victor asked immediately. Raven was like his little sister, if someone was going to mess with her than they were going to mess with him as well.
"He said things that I'm not going to repeat," Robin answered.
Victor shook his head. "No, you're going to tell me or else I'm going to the hospital to break the rest of Mikey's thin little bones."
Robin sighed. "He asked me how crazy she was, how good she was in bed, and what her skin looked like with all of her scars."
"I'll bet that little fucker's phrasing was as nice as yours," Victor fairly growled.
"He said what?" Gar asked.
Both Victor and Robin were startled and looked over to see Gar andKori at the door.
"Michael said all of that?" Kori said with a pale (as pale as it got) face.
Robin sighed and nodded confirmation. "Are you sure he was not just teasing?" she persisted. "He always teases Raven."
The expression on Victor's face worsened. "Teasing?" he repeated. "How long have you guys known this guy?"
"Five years," Kori answered.
"And that guy's been a Richard the entire time we've known him," Gar added. "You know that he's been wanting to jump Raven's bones ever since he met her."
"Why am I the last to know these things?" Victor demanded. "Some pervert's been hanging around Raven for all this time?"
"I did not know," Kori said.
"I didn't know any details until yesterday," Robin said through his arms where he had placed his head yet again.
"I knew," Gar said and then his eyes widened. "So the rest of you…didn't…?"
"Thanks a lot you ass, you're such a great help," Victor said.
"Where is Raven?" Gar asked.
"She's at class," Kori and Robin answered simultaneously.
Gar sighed. "Is she any better?"
"No." Robin hesitated for a moment. "But she knows weird things."
Gar nodded. "I know. She knew some stuff that I've never told you all."
"Like what?" Victor asked.
"I'm not telling," Gar replied.
"Did she remember anything about…her father?" Kori asked slowly.
Robin sighed. "She had a strange version of what happened. But," he had to stop to take a breath, "she didn't get hurt in her version of it. She didn't have any scars."
The others were silent as they realized how dangerously close to breaking down Robin was.
"Is it a bad thing that she did not remember those terrible things?" Kori asked.
Victor answered. "It is when she has scars everywhere."
Robin was propping his head up with his hands and he nodded. "She also has a perfect recall of a non-existent world."
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"You're the same in both worlds," Raven commented to Victor as she sat on one of the bar stools watching him use a set of tiny screws to make minute changes to some technological thing that she didn't recognize.
"Is that a good thing, baby-doll?" he asked without looking up.
Raven frowned. "Do you actually call me things like that? Or is this some sort of weird joke that I'm supposed to object to?"
"It's usually about half and half," he answered. "Sometimes you call me on it and sometimes you ignore it. I think that you've kind of gotten to the point where you phase out those particular words."
It sounded plausible.
"Was I pleasant?" she asked.
He looked closer at the thingamajig. "It depends on what you're expecting. For instance you're not the pleasant that Kori is. She's like a train of happy. And you have your own brand which is a quiet playfulness."
"Playfulness?" Raven repeated as she quirked an eyebrow.
"Don't be difficult," Victor reprimanded her. "You know what I mean. It's not a 'oh fun! Let's go play games!' kind of playful. It's a quiet and constant banter, wittiness, and presence."
Raven was silent. He was describing her behavior from both worlds equally. "Was your nickname ever Cyborg?" she asked.
He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. "No. And you're not allowed to start calling me that now, either."
Raven dropped a quick smile. It was nice to be around someone who wasn't always on eggshells around her.
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There was a timid knock on the door that startled Raven from her futile attempt at sleep. She flung the blankets away from herself and padded over to the door stopping just within the room. "Who is it?"
"Kori. Can I come in?"
Raven opened the door as an answer and her lips moved into the quickest smile before dropping again. Star was dressed in an entirely pink nightdress complete with pink slippers. "I am similar?" Star asked with a slight smile.
"I hope so," Raven answered.
The smile wavered on Star's face before she nodded to the interior of Raven's room. "I thought that perhaps you would enjoy company tonight as Robin is elsewhere."
Raven gave the slightest of flinches at the open mention of Robin's absence but left the door open as an invitation as she walked back to her bed. Once both were settled Star hesitated. "Why is Robin not sleeping here?"
Raven's cheeks colored as she turned her head away. "I- He says that we've been married and all of that but-" she stopped.
Star seemed to understand what Raven was trying to say which was a relief since it would have taken an enormous amount of effort to explain it to the other Star. She paused. "What do you not remember?"
Raven stared at her. "I don't remember anything. Well, anything beyond this warped alter-reality that apparently doesn't exist. I remember having lived with you for years and I know all of your habits and loves, but I can't recount any single conversation that you would remember, Star."
"Star?" she repeated. "That is what you called me?"
"It's short for Starfire, but Star is easier. I'm working on not calling all of you these names, but it is difficult."
"Call me Star," she smiled. "I like it. It reminds me of what my nanny used to call me."
"Nanny?" Raven asked sharply. "Was it a he?"
Star nodded. "Yes. He loved me far more than my parents ever did. He used to call me Starshine. It doesn't make any sense, but his own daughter was called Sunshine, so he changed it for me."
Raven bit her lip consideringly. "Everyone here has a terrible past. What's yours?"
Every bit of happiness left Star's face. "I…" she stopped, picking up a pillow after several moments and hugging it tightly to her chest. "My family was murdered. We're a very old, very wealthy family and one night three people broke into our home and immediately killed my mother and father. I don't miss them…my mother had offered us to them.
"My sister and I were sleeping in our rooms which were on the other side of the mansion, the murderers may not have found us without my mother's directions. So they brought us back to my parents room where they told us what our dead mother had offered. And they raped us both and stabbed my sister to death. I don't know why they left me alive, perhaps each thought that the other had killed me, perhaps they thought that I was as good as dead, perhaps they were waiting to come back for me.
"I was taken into protective custody and the three were caught in less than a week. After that I moved in with my nanny who would never betray me like my mother did. He'll take care of me no matter what," Star's voice was fierce as she spoke the finish.
Raven sat silently. What happened to the family was much different this time than it had been before. "Did you get along with your sister? Or was she a backstabber like your mother?"
"She was my twin sister. I miss her every single day."
"Who did it?" Raven asked.
Star repeatedly ran her fingers through a lock of hair. "They were from a cult. It was called the Brotherhood of Blood."
Raven's head snapped up to stare at her. "The Brotherhood of Blood…What did they want?"
Star seemed startled at her reaction. "None would say. It wasn't money, or revenge or anything. The prosecutors suggested that maybe they just wanted destruction, but…" she sighed quietly, "I was there. They had nothing to prove, no abject cruelty. They just wanted us dead."
"But you survived," Raven breathed.
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Raven waited until Star fell asleep before landing lightly on her feet and moved directly and silently out of her room and down the stairs until she reached a room with a poster of a rock group outside of it. Then she began knocking insistently until the door opened and a startled Gar stood in the frame. "Whoa," he said taking in the skimpy outfit that Raven was wearing before she pushed him inside of the room and slammed the door shut behind them.
"What…?" he trailed off, eyes wide.
"We need to talk," Raven said firmly as she moved towards the desk chair ignoring the computer screen that was glowing with World of Warcraft.
"Whew," Gar said as he half collapsed onto his bed. "I was kind of worried that you were here to, y'know…jump my bones…in a violent, kinky sort of way. And that would be pretty bad since you're…married and-"
"How did your parents die?" Raven cut him off.
His expression became rather worried. "Do we really have to talk about this?" he asked.
"It's important," Raven said as she steeled her voice.
He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "You know how they died. The things they were experimenting with ended up killing them."
"Do you know who commissioned the project?" Raven persisted.
"It was the US. That's why it's a big secret."
"Are there any familiar names?" Raven ventured.
Gar frowned. "Familiar?"
"Control Freak, Dr. Light, Cinderblock, Games Master," she rattled off watching him for any sign of recognition. "Dr. Chang-"
"How do you know this?" he suddenly interrupted her. "Where did you get Dr. Chang? Are you guessing? No one else knows that!"
"Dr. Chang?" Raven repeated with wide eyes. "He was involved in the experiment?"
"He was the head of the project. He's the one that closed everything down after my parents became infected, and he's the one that rewrote the history of what had happened when it all went to hell," Gar shook his head. "There's no way that you know this."
The two of them were silent for a moment. Raven finally broke the silence, "Does any of this have anything to do with Slade Wilson?"
Gar's eyes widened. Then he slowly shook his head. "That's Robin's story, not mine."
Anyway, review please.
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