A couple universes over…
Han solo was putting Leia through a dick-based wringer when a space portal the size of one Leia's vagoo opened up next door. "Sweet hot diggedy sasquatch" solo said as he was already in the Eon Bald Eagle (his new ship).
Meanwhile…
The Dinkster had been rung. This he knew. No futher call was needed. He knew what would happen.
Now was his time.
Meanwhile yet still…
At the O.S.S. many were confused at the large spacecraft hovering over their base. Suddenly Emperor Palpatine stepped down from a big ramp and started lightening people. "What do you want" someone screeched like a shitlord. "Join or die" Heart Palpitation screamed lighteningly, so they did.
Yet more meanwhilingly…
"Holy sweet fucking chip chip cheerio Mary Poppins Atlantic slave trade tea crumpets and biscuits! Is it tea time in the fucking colonies yet or is that your gaping asshole, Rose?" The Doctor said hyper-Britishly, looking into a giant time warp.
But Rose was his hand, and could not respond. "I guess I must explore and conquer it like Africa. That is, with much slavery." And so he went.
Hyper Meanwhile…
"HOLY FUCK PONY POTTER!" Pony Malfoy said fuckboyingly, his wrists slitted. "I must assert my dominance over her like I will over your ass tonight" Potter said, planning murder. "Potter" Twittlelight Spickle said, walking into the room. "You are requested in the Council of Gaylords." The Council was filled with powerful wizards. "We call this meeting to order," Pony Dumbledore bellowed obesely, "to decide the fate of Pony Potter."
"I'm so sorry friend, but you killed Pony Malfoy." Tiggledong Splockle said like a fucking nerd. "Lol no" potter said. "Well that settles it, Innocent!" Pony Dumbledor said- "Now stahp raht there you fuckin' yonk!" a voice screeched racistly. "That there faggot done killed Malfoy and Ah'm gonna beat the shit out of em' for it." Applejack (bitch can't even die right) stood across from Potter. Potter began his Autistic ritual. "Walowalowa-" Applejack had already knocked Pony Potter's lights out, because he was such a pussy faggot bitch. "Why the fuck am I even teaching here." Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash said as they fucked. "Goddamn retarded students" Rainbow said moaningly. "I'm going to murder all of you" Fluttershy Primally bellowed.
No items, Fox only, Final meanwhile…
"The rift has opened, just as we expected."
"And the inhabitants?"
"No Resistance."
"I have heard of wizards, with a powerful boy among them…"
"Lol that fuckin' faggot autist ain't shit."
"But Still."
"…Fine"
A figured stepped out of the shadows, holding a fologram of a Pony, out cold.
"Pssshh…"
The figure crushes the hologram.
"Nothin' Personal, kid…"
lol jk one more meanwhile
A flash. A Spark.
Pony Granger awoke with a start, and saw the desolate landscape around her.
"You're finally up."
A man stood in the corner.
"Who are you?" Granger said.
"It doesn't matter" he said edgily.
"Well… where am I?" Granger said
"Somewhere terrible." The man replied.
"Is this Hell?" granger asked. "No… somewhere worse."
"You're in Oklahoma"