They were put up in a large house on the edge of town, twice the size of the next biggest home. Still, there were ten of them and only five bedrooms, so they had to share rooms. Simon, Kaylee, and River all stayed in one room, as Simon wouldn't be separated from his sister or his wife. Wash and Zoe shared a room, as did Sheppard Book and Jayne, and Mei and Inara. Mal got a room to himself.

They started going insane after around the third day. Mal would pace for ages and mutter to himself. Jayne was always in a foul mood, and his temper was worse than usual. Mei mostly stayed in bed and stared at the ceiling, and Inara was much quicker to lose her patience, so they had had more than a few shouting matches, or shouting and apathy matches, since Mei mostly remained in her daze and didn't reply. Zoe became jumpy and prone to attacking anything that moved. Even Wash was becoming tense and snappy. Kaylee would either start shouting or burst into tears at least twice a day, and Simon became more sarcastic than ever. It was hard to tell with River, but even she seemed to be crazier than usual. The Sheppard alone remained unaffected.

Wash was sure he would have completely lost it if it weren't for Jenny. She had taken to following him everywhere, and had gotten over her previous shyness. Instead, she babbled nonstop about anything that came to mind, and they were all seven-year-old things, cute and innocent and good. He occasionally played with his dinosaurs with her, and she was very good at it, though the plots did become a tad more unpredictable. Once, the dinosaurs had to team up with ninjas to defeat the evil space pirates (or spirates, as Wash called them.) Wash had particularly loved that game, as it managed to incorporate three of his favorite things.

Unfortunately, it made being at 'home' with the irritable rest of crew even harder to stand. It was the fifth day that he snapped.

"Let's all get drunk!" he shouted, after Jayne reduced Kaylee to tears for the second time in the hour, and Mal nearly broke his toe trying to kick a whole in the wall. "All of us should get very, very drunk! Otherwise, you can't blame me if I kill someone."

"I wouldn't mind a drink right now," Mal said, hopping on one foot and swearing sporadically.

"Everyone!" Wash called, "You're getting loaded whether you like it or not! Now come on!"

"Maybe River shouldn't…" Simon said.

"I'm old enough," she replied stubbornly, "And I didn't get to get drunk on my birthday! You came home too drunk to speak when you turned 20! *" It was odd that she was most normal when there was a promise of alcohol.

"And, honestly, if she calls me a wolf one more time I might have to hit her." Mal added. Perhaps because of her title 'albatross,' she had recently begun telling the crew what animals they were: Mal was a wolf, Jayne was a hyena, Zoe was a leopard, Inara was a peacock, Mei was a hummingbird, Sheppard Book was an ox, Kaylee was a squirrel, and Simon was a flying fish (a fish out of water.) It took her a while to decide on one for Wash. She considered lemur or dog before settling on otter.

It was early in the afternoon, so the bar was mostly empty. "Can I get ten beers?" Wash asked the bartender, and he produced them quickly. They all watched as River looked suspiciously at her drink before taking a sip. She made a face.

"Well?"

"Tastes like…" she paused, as though searching for a way to put it delicately, "go se mixed with xiong mao niao."

Wash ordered the same thing he had gotten the first day. "Try this," he said, handing it to her, "You know it's gotta be good when it's got an umbrella!"

She took a sip and smiled, "Much better."

What followed that was the most fun any of them had in a long time. ** Simon had started, like always, a bit stiff and proper, but he got good and drunk after that.

"You know, Wash, I get it," he said, his words more than a little slurred, "You saved an entire town from a slow and horrible death. You, sir, deserve that statue.

"Everybody!" he called, "This guy- this is a…a good guy! He's all…good, and statue-y. I approve!

"You, on the other hand," he said to some random woman who he seemed to think was Jayne, "You just dropped a box a' money! Anyone can do that! If you're so great, why did you drop it? Can't even hold on to a gorram box, you stupid 'hero.' Hero, my butt…" he grumbled.

"Shenme?" he asked to the poor woman he'd confronted.

After a while, Jayne started up "the Hero of Canton," and the rest of the crew sang along. Eventually, even the very confused villagers began to join in for a rousing chorus of:

"He stole from the rich and he gave to the poor,

Stood up to the man and he gave him what for,

Our love for him now ain't hard to explain,

The hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne,"

They sung that for over an hour, forgetting lines and repeating verses, and crooning it all in a drunken slur. When it finally ended, Wash proposed a toast.

"To Jayne!" he called, he called, lifting his drink and spilling most of it on the floor, "To Canton! To whatever the Hell crappy town this is!" he said, then giggled, then passed out.

End Of Chapter 4

* I figure in 600 or however many years in the future, the drinking age will have changed a bit. Also, I think River was 17 during the show, and then Serenity was a year or so later, and then 'The Ghosts' was a year after that, and this is a while after that. So, River's 20 now. Our little girl is all grown up.

** Don't drink, kids.

Sorry this took so long. I wasn't sure where to go with this, and I've been busy lately. Yesterday was a big marching band event that took all night, so I couldn't go on fanfiction. And the marching band thing was awful! The band director said it was the worst he's ever the football field. It was more mud than field! Plus, I had to go to the bathroom since before the pregame show, but I didn't know where it was, and... it was not fun. Sorry, I kind of rambled there.