CHAPTER 4

Brrrrb. Brrrrrrrbb.

My phone was vibrating constantly in my pocket, until I was finally annoyed enough to pull it out. It was just Hanji though, who kept sending me messages.

I wanna hang out tonight.

Recieved at 20:43

Come on, are you doing something else?

Recieved at 20:45

Ereeeeen, I'm bored.

Recieved at 20:46

Are you doing something with Mikasa?

Recieved at 20:49

I sighed.

Nah, I'm home alone. You're welcome to come over here, though.

Sent at 20:55

I put the phone away on the kitchen counter, and then took the last sock off. I was busy taking off my clothes when she had written, but I could hardly take the phone in the shower with me. Besides, I didn't use my phone that much anyway, and I knew that she was used to me answering a bit less frequent than her.

I turned the water on, and started scrubbing my skin with the bath sponge. It was so nice and quiet in here, only listening to the sound of water hitting the floor beneath me. It felt like the only time that I could relax a hundred percent.

Of course, I sighed with disappointment when it was over. I stepped out, noticing the bathroom mirror had become foggy, and reached for at towel to throw around my hips. I forced the wet hair back, and the water kept it from falling out from eachother. I started humming as I walked into the kitchen to reach for my phone.

But I have a surprise for you!

Recieved at 20:56

I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 21:35 now. Shit, she was probably going to be mad about me being so late to text back.

Sorry, I was taking a shower. Are you going to come over? You know I can't come to you otherwise.

Sent 21:36

I was just about to reach for my underwear when the doorbell rang. Shit, I thought. All of my clothes were laying in my bedroom, except for my socks. If I just hid behind the door, it would be fine, right? It was probably just one of those people who wanted to sell me something.

"Coming!" I yelled, making sure that the person was able to hear me. I ran over and hid most of my body, when opening the door a few inches. A pair of grey eyes were looking right at me.

"Let me in, brat," He sad, a bit annoyed. "Hanji forced my to come get you, but I need to use your bathroom first," He hold up his hand, that was a bit dirty. I raised an eyebrow, amused.

"That's noth – Ngh!" He suddenly shoved the door open, so he could get inside. I ended up with my back against the wall, and the door in my face. Levi didn't even look around, he just went straight for the sink in the kitchen, that was closest. I winced at the pain in my back, before closing the door after him.

"Ow, you didn't have to be so rough," I mumbled grumpy, and scratched my lower back. The pain was quickly fading, but I was determined to give him some shame first.

"I like it rough," He said. I blushed, not sure if it was a joke or not.

The water stopped splashing into the sink, and Levi dried his hands in the towel hanging next to it. He then turned around to walk towards me again.

"Alright, I'm rea – Huh?"

He had stopped a few meters from me, staring at me. I now, also, became conscious of my appearance.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know that you would come to get me, I just need to change into my clothes, and then we can … "

I had started to walk past him to get to the bedroom, but he had grabbed my wrist to hold my back.

"Levi?"

I stared at him, my cheeks still red from the shame.

"You have no idea, do you?"

He said, looking down on my wrist that he was holding. It seemed as if he couldn't look me in the eyes at that moment. He sounded irritated though.

"Idea of what?"

I was too baffled.

"The effect you have,"

He finally looked up at me, with a passionate expression on his face. " … On me,"

Lust.

That's what was shining through his eyes, and burned a hole in mine. I pressed my lips together into a small line, and tried looking down. Why was I suddenly so shy?

"Damn it, Eren … When you confessed to me, I wanted to respond. I really did," I could feel his eyes on me, even though I wasn't looking up anymore. I was so thankful that he wasn't forcing me to look at him this time. "But there were rules about it then. And you were only 16 years old … It would have been so wrong. I felt like I was taking advantage of you," He let his hand stroke my arm lighty, giving me the chills.

"Even though I wanted you too. Just like I want you now …"

He took a step closer, so his face were only a few inches away from my lowered head.

"How can you not know how hot you are?"

He let go of my wrist so he could touch me. My arms, chest, hair and neck … Everywhere that his fingertips touched me, I felt a burn. It made me whimper under my breath.

"I want you so badly it almost hurts," He whispered, letting his fingers slide over my nipples to get a reaction from me. Either I would push him away, or return the touches … Or that was what he thought. I forced myself not to move, but I couldn't stop the quiet moan slipping through my lips.

"Eren, why won't you answer me?" He said under his breath, though he wasn't stopping touching me. The movements only got slower, until only one hands were sliding down from my chest, to my belly button. I took a deep breath.

Because if let my mouth open, I'm not sure that I can hold back all the things that I really want to say. I thought to myself. I had to choose. To talk, or to react? Well, I definitely didn't want to bear my whole soul to him. Not again.

Yet I couldn't promise the same thing for everything else.

There was just some things that even I couldn't control, at a certain point.

"Ngh.." I muttered, lifting my head a bit. His face was so damn close. I couldn't listen to him talk anymore, the memories that came with his words were too painful. I had to shut him up somehow.

For the first time, I was the one who initiated the kiss, and it wasn't gentle like the other times. It was rough and messy, since I really had no idea what I was doing.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my body up against his. I instantly felt his erection, but this time I wasn't blushing. I wasn't even able to think straight anymore.

His body pressed against mine, and I hadn't even noticed that we were moving when my back hit another wall. Or rather, a door. It opened, revealing my messy bedroom, that we were backing into. Feverish from the kiss, I pulled back just in the second that my legs bumped into the bed, making me fall onto it, my back bouncing off it a few inches, before being able to lie still.

I just lay there, gasping for air, while looking at Levi. He was looking at me, my body, and that was when I realised that I wasn't even wearing the towel anymore.

When had he torn that off of me? I couldn't remember anything. I looked down to see the erection, but my already flustered face hid my blushing cheeks well.

Levi started taking his t-shirt off, and then his pants. He was quicker than expected, and before I got a good look of him, he had already crawled on top of me. His knees was right beside my hips, so that our erections were close enough to create friction. I moaned loudly as a result of this, which made Levi smirk. My hand threw up to my face, covering my mouth.

"Don't stop making those noises," He said calmly, even though I could sense that he was out of breath too. He pushed my hand away, so he could lean in over to kiss me.

This caused our bodies to move closer, causing even more friction. This time we both moaned in the kiss, opening our mouths to then let the tongues have their fun. I let him take control of me, and he instantly noticed. He grabbed my wrists, pressing them into the bed over my head. This aroused me so much, that my hips bounced upwards, making our members rub against eachother intensely.

"More," Was the only word that I could say right know, but he seemed to understand.

He released my hands, to grab my waist instead. In one quick motion, he pushed my body ahead, so my legs wasn't dangling over the edge of the bed anymore. I gasped in surprised, looking down to see that he wasn't facing me anymore. He grabbed my erection, gently started pushing the foreskin back and forth. My whole body shivered, and I turned my head to the side, covering the rest of my face with both my arms. I muffled the moans in start, until rembering what he had asked for.

"Ahh – Ah, Levi," I gasped, when I suddenly felt two of his fingertips moving in circles on my bare forehead. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure that he was enjoying teasing me.

"Don't – " I started mumbling, but he had already moved his hands down to the start at my erection. The loss of the fingers was only disappointing for a second, before a new touch made me shiver uncontrollingly. It was his tongue, no doubt about it, that had started to lick it.

I filled my mouth with my hand to stop the sounds – it didn't matter if he liked it or not, I wasn't going to let the neighbours know what we was doing. I was certain that everyone would hear, if I hadn't.

How is he so amazing at that?

I felt his hands pushing my hips down, when he put all of me into his mouth and started sucking.

"Nghhh – Ng!"

It was is if I could only barely control my body anymore. The sensation was too much, it almost made me feel like I was on fire. I felt my hips pressing against his hands, protesting, wanting to move. I wanted more.

He kept going, though, quicker than before. His hands were strong, making sure that I wouldn't suddenly yank my hips forward. I felt like there was no more air to breath in – I wasn't sure that I could keep it in any longer …

My back arched, and my skin started tingling as I let out my release with a cry.

Fortunately for Levi, he had managed to pull away, so instead of cumming into his mouth, it ended up on my stomach and his hand instead.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down again. I closed my eyes, thinking it was over, when he let his wet fingertips slide down my inner thigh. I pushed my upper body up with my elbows, and looked at him.

"You already came? But we've only just begun," He said with a raised eyebrow, then leaning in to kiss me. It was passionate, the way his lips moved against mine, and I grabbed his neck to pull him closer to me.

What did he mean by that?

We just sat there for a few seconds, too consumed in the kiss to do anything else. Just doing this was making my body fire up again, wanting more of him. I tried reaching out to his own erection, but he grabbed my wrist, pressing it against the sheets.

And then his fingers started moving again, reaching lower and lower.

I gasped, when he reached my entrance. A sudden, horrible knot was growing in my stomach, moving wildly. Something was wrong.

He pushed them inside, making me scream … the tears was rolling down my face, but he just kept on going. He was sweating, and the smirk on his face made me want to throw up. There was no one there to help me, yet I was still screaming out for someone to come.

But no one came.

This wasn't my thoughts. This was a memory.

"Stop," I said, stopping the kiss. But I was still turned on, gasping for air, so it didn't have the effect that I'd wanted. It probably seemed as if I was only protesting to play hard to get, or to tease him.

He pressed his lips on my neck instead, when he pressed his two fingers inside me.

My head flew back into the bed, panting and gasping for air. The knot in my stomach felt like it wanted to rip me apart, making it impossible for me to enjoy any of the pleasure that Levi's fingers were giving me.

Pictures from the memory were popping out in my mind. The feeling of tears running down my face, the pain and sweat … I hadn't even noticed, when I had actually started crying in reality.

"Stop!" I said a little louder, putting my only free hand on his chest, but my voice cracked.

This felt wrong.

Levi finally looked up by the sound of my voice, and I saw the surprisement and shock in his eyes.

I felt so ashamed and dirty. I pulled my other hand free, and pushed him away from me with the only strength that I had left.

His hands left my body, and he sat up straight in the bed, still staring at me.

I crawled as far away as possible, wiping the tears away.

I am so stupid, I thought. I ruined everything.

"Eren, what happened? Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice filled with angst, and I almost felt sorry for him. He had no idea what was going on.

But instead of answering, I just left the bed and ran into the bathroom. I quickly locked the door, before he would be able to follow after me. This was probably the most cliché thing I could have done, but I just wasn't able to handle anything right now. My back still pressed against the door, I slowly slid down. The floor was cold against my heated skin, and I pulled my knees up against my chest, hugging them tightly with my arms. I buried my face into them, finally letting my eyes flood over with tears.

A few minutes passed, and I had finally calmed down a little. Before I had been loudly crying, but now I was just weeping softly.

"Eren,"

Levi stood on the other side of the door, his forehead and hand pressed up against it.

"Eren, please talk to me,"

He had taken on his clothes again, while I was still naked on the other side.

"Please … " my voice was very low, but Levi heard it in an instant. His focus sharpened intensively, waiting to hear the explanation of my sudden outburst.

"Please just leave,"