Chapter 3: An Odd Comedian Pt. 2
I've been spending more time with Asriel and Frisk since I met them. Even if we only had one class together we always hang out after school to anywhere we'd like to go to relax or study in silence. Eventually, I told them about my casual encounter with Sans the skeleton, which surprised them since Sans always keeps a low profile due to his laziness. He barely talks to people, and even if he miraculously does he doesn't even bother to keep up with the conversation.
"It must have been the puns." Frisk said while I nod in agreement. He looks like the kind of person that would enjoy a talk with anyone who laughs at his jokes.
But something about him made me feel special among the thousands and thousands of souls that were enjoying themselves that night. Even if he was a lazy sack of bones that cared little about a casual encounter with a punk like me, I wouldn't mind having another nice talk with him. I could always go to the cafe he told me about to meet him again, but I don't have the determination to do something so brave like that.
"Wanna come to a family dinner with us?" Asriel asked "We want you to know our family and friends." Frisk agreed with some quick hand signs.
I didn't want to intrude my way into something so intimate as a family dinner. I've never eaten with my family or had that quality time most people have with their relatives. Back when I used to live with my mother I made my own meals since she had to work hard for me as a single mom, and when my stepfather came into her life I didn't feel I had a family anymore.
"Don't let yourself think you're intruding or something. We are the ones inviting you after all. You are our friend! Besides, it's not like you have anything else to do at night. Right?"
"Hey, I'm not that predictable!" They both laugh at the lie I don't even believe from the bottom of my heart.
"So, you're in?" I accepted their invitation with gratitude and proceeded to lay down on the grass while Frisk studied for an exam they had and Asriel played his ukulele in the inner garden of the school.
After some time Frisk leaves for their last class of the day, leaving Asriel playing on his computer and me sleeping, using my backpack as a pillow. A girl approaches from nowhere very nervously to be in front of Asriel. Then she proceeds to ask him on a date, to which he responds.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not looking for that kind of relationship right now." I was surprised since this was the third girl he rejected in two weeks. I've witnessed the same response three times and his tender smile never flinched towards the ones that were trying to get his attention.
The girl sadly nods and returns back to where she came from. Asriel puts his laptop away for a little bit and slowly whispers to my left arm.
"I'm getting tired of this." I laugh, knowing that the flowers wouldn't keep his comment away from me.
"I can always start a rumor about you, maybe say that you have fleas." He jokingly pushed me and laughed trying to lay back like me and enjoy the environment. "What? The all mighty Asriel is bothered about being popular with girls?"
"Oh my god, the shy and anxious outcast is jealous!" He says, poking my stomach over and over tickling the hell out of me.
"Fuck off Asriel!" I mean, I could get used to this kind of treatment, but I needed a moment to breathe without being aroused by his intrusive hands "You know I swing the other way."
"Whatever floats your goat man. Whatever floats your goat."
Later that night I found myself going to the bar. Expecting Sans to perform another stand-up routine wasn't on my list of plans for today. Grillby was pretty happy with the last one he organized so he showed himself again arranging a little something.
"Is this a gay bar, a tavern or a pub?" The usual bartender asks to Grillby while the man engulfed in flames serves me the first cocktail of the night. Grillby said that he has wondered the same thing over the years, and now that they are discussing the subject so am I.
Comedian by comedian showed up at the stage throwing real-life stories with some twist here and there to make the routine funnier. Some people got a good laugh out of them while I was tired of waiting for my favorite comedian to come on stage.
"you really missed me if you had the audacity to come day after day ever since we met." A familiar voice sent over a breeze behind my back, but I didn't even bother to face him after he shoved the truth all over me.
"Don't give yourself too much credit Sans the skeleton. I've always been a regular." I sad blushing as he laughs at the shame of my words.
When I turn to face him I ask him if he was going to participate again, which he denied while he asked for a drink on my behalf. He said he was a little sorry that he didn't show up to say hi early. I don't know why he was apologizing over something like that since he only met me once.
"That means we- we are… friends?" I thought that having him as a friend was a precious achievement for me. I've never made a single friend outside school, so it would be a great story to tell to my psychologist.
"woah there, tiger." He said after drinking the entire bottle of ketchup "you can't jump straight into friendship. it takes time"
"..."
"'a'right, that's enough time" We laugh as we give each other our phones to exchange numbers. I put in my number with the name my mother gave me at birth. My full name. He instead, while showing it to me, put Sans the skeleton with a fake number for a Hotline for Idiot Babies.
"You truly are an ol' timer if you think I could fall for that." I said with an arrogant look on my face.
"i just wanted to know how would you react, hehehe." Then he introduces another number, which I hope it's his real number this time.
I glance at the bartender announcing the next contestant, and for my surprise is none other than…
"Sans the Skeleton ladies and gents" Huh? That's weird, Sans is right next to me with his usual grin… no. His grin is wider than ever. I wonder if he even plans to move from his seat.
Another skeleton appears in stage leaving me flabbergasted. I look at the Sans right next to me and then at the Sans on stage. They had the very same soul energy, which wasn't possible even if they were twins.
"I swear to God Sans, if you spiked my drink I'm gonna..." He laughed at my confused face and explained that he's a friend he'd been planning to introduce to the stage for a while. Apparently, he wasn't your everyday comedian, so he kept his puns and jokes to himself.
That didn't explain the reason why their souls were exactly the same, but I didn't want to dig in that matter at the moment, even if it was an outstanding discovery for science and magic.
The skeleton that called himself Sans, as well, stood in the middle of the stage with an unsettling face. The red sweater under his black jacket made me wonder if the type of fabric of his clothes felt good all over his bones. He was wearing some golden black shorts along with a chain on the side, but his most mesmerizing trait was the one golden tooth he had among his pointy teeth. The white lonely pupils inside his eyes sockets resembled Sans', which made me crave for answers regarding their souls.
After some punny puns that snorted the hell out of me, he was starting to get darker with his jokes. Some people found it offensive while others laughed at every single joke he threw. I could tell the Sans beside me wasn't very fond of them either, but I couldn't help myself to laugh all over his dark humor since it was my cup of tea from the very beginning.
-have you heard that joke about the kid with AIDS? It never gets old-
Stuff like that was funny for a depressed soul like me. I didn't even felt ashamed of laughing all over the place. Unlike some people in the audience, I was actually having a good time, but the fun stopped when some old-timers were trying to impose their values over a stand-up routine.
-You should be ashamed of yourself!-
-There is nothing funny about sickness!-
The bartender was about to talk on behalf of the bar, but I asked Grillby to stop him so I could handle the situation in a rightful manner.
"Are you sure you're not gonna make a scene about it?" Grillby asked.
"I'm only drunk enough to face the situation, not to make an actual scene." Both of them seemed convinced and gave me one microphone. I stood up and went to the front door holding it open. Sans remained seated in there taking his hands out of his pockets to cross arms and raised, what I think was, an eyebrow. The other one seemed indifferent to the situation as if everyone were beneath him "Ladies and gentleman, Grillby's tavern host this kind of events to let people of our local community participate in a healthy environment where everyone can be themselves for the night. This statement goes to the audience and the entertainers, so, if you are not fond of this kind of entertainment, I suggest you leave and come back any other day when the local doesn't have the possibility to attack your persona. Please, don't bother other customers over your senselessness feeling of ethics with such irresponsible comments. Next time, the employes of this local won't tolerate such interruptions and will act upon the orders of the head manager. Have a nice night!"
Seven people left while I stood there talking on behalf of the local. In the meantime, I wanted to shit my pants it the middle of my lecture because I noticed how many people were actually in front of me. I didn't take a moment to think about how would I feel. The others clapped while I returned to my seat and Sans actually whistled at me.
"not bad kid. here, lemme buy you another drink." I accepted the offer shaking on my seat. I definitely could use something stronger after what I did.
Grillby and the bartender congratulated me for stepping out of my comfort zone, but I knew that, if I weren't tipsy enough, I wouldn't have done it, so I didn't take it as an accomplishment. The golden tooth Sans finished his routine and sat next to Sans. Unlike the one I already knew, he ordered a bottle of mustard.
"who's the punk over there." Sans asked. At this point, I wasn't even able to think precisely. I just looked straight at his intimidating expression being disturbed by a drool of mustard on his chin.
"jacky, meet sans. sans, jacky." What a lame ass introduction if I must say.
"do i have something on my face punk?" I must have been staring at him for a long time, or maybe he's easily irritated. Who knows? I just wanted to stare at a point that didn't move "why is he even here? he looks like a fifteen-year-old brat?" I couldn't hear properly over a layer of white noise that violated my ears. I knew this feeling was going to leave a hard hangover tomorrow morning.
"Those were some nice jokes you had up your skin." I said, laughing hysterically.
I realized that all this time Asriel and Frisk talked about Sans, they were referring to two different people.
"is he okay?" Asked the one with a red sweater.
"i don't think so."
"Can't you see I'm fine? Look, I can walk on my own." As soon as I stand up I stumble over my face tricking my vision. Everything spins around me taking the balance away from me.
"what? the punk drank more than he could handle?" He started his comment laughing at my stupidity after Sans kept me from falling to the floor.
"The amount of alcohol I drink to forget I want to kill myself is none of your fucking business." Grillby sighs some worrying words while Sans calm him down saying he'd take me to my house. Seeing Sans being responsible for me made me tear up, but I got to rub it away before anyone noticed. I couldn't even talk without spelling out every word I said.
"come on pal' i'll give you a hand." Said the other Sans grabbing my arm and putting it up to his shoulder.
"look at you all sweaty, docile and responsible, did he make you feel guilty?"
"shut the fuck up sans…"
I entered a car filled with the smell of mustard, ketchup, new books and alcohol. laying myself down on the backseat while closing my eyes made me feel a little better, but I was feeling guilty for showing this kind of behavior in front of Grillby, the bartender and the Sans'. The one with a bad attitude proceeded to drive after I mumbled the address of my apartment while the one with the blue hoodie opened the window and stared at the outside for the rest of the ride.
"Thanks for the ride." The flickering lights of the street, along with the breeze of the open window, made me relax in an odd way I couldn't describe while being drunk "Sorry you had to see me like this though."
"don't sweat it punk. liquor might not solve all your problems, but it's worth a shot." Even at a moment like this, he's able to pull off a pun taking the awkwardness away. (I wanna know what happened. I wanna know what's happening. Where are we going? Is this how we die? Don't exaggerate. I wanna say hi).
I think I hear them talking about something I shouldn't be listening to. They probably think I went to sleep at some point. Everything starts to fade away as the voices whisper and whisper things I'm not able to understand. I don't want to feel so crowded in my own body. This doesn't feel right. I don't feel alright.
"I didn't mean to." I started crying. I regret every decision I've made to make it this far. I'm not proud of myself. I don't want this LV. "I don't want this kind of love."
All the negative thoughts suddenly dissipated when I felt my head accommodate over a lap and a cold hand brushing my hair. A blurry silhouette was taking care of me, and I only could think of one person at the moment that would do this for me.
"Dad?"