I wake up in Paul's arms and I feel like such an idiot, I don't deserve him but he disagrees when I said that. I lift my head off of his warm chest to look up at him to see him sleeping peacefully as his arms are loosely around my waist. I run my finger along his stubbly cheek, he hasn't shaved in awhile I notice. I rest my chin on my hands that lay on his chest. I feel so bad for hurting him like I did, I thought I didn't want to be with him but these past two lonely weeks easily shot that theory down. I love him so much and I want to be with him forever and I can't believe I left him, it was so stupid of me. Yeah I've lost weight but I wasn't starving myself, I've just forgotten to eat a few times because I've been so busy but my body aches from working so hard and all that pointless exercise. I feel Paul stir beneath me as his legs move and he shifts his body in the bed and I watch as he brings his hands to his eyes and rubs them and I stare at the empty pillow on the other side of the bed as he wakes up and I think of how I made such a big mistake.
"Good afternoon, darling." I hear Paul say and I look to him as he smiles and I smile back, I love him. He moves so we're on our sides but we keep our arms around each other as we look at each other and he strokes my cheek.
"What's wrong?" he asks me and I rest my forehead against his bare chest.
"I just feel so bad for leaving you." I admit as I feel his hands slowly stroke my back.
"I know you do, darling and it's alright because it's in the past and there's nothing neither of us can do about it." he says quietly and I nod into his chest.
"Do you forgive me for it?" I ask.
"Yes, I do." I hear him say and I thank him. He starts to hum some tune and I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.
"It's alright, J." he says wrapping his arms tighter around me and using one to caress my head.
"I know, I just feel so bad!" I say sadly and he kisses my head repeatedly.
"Darling, there's nothing you can do about it and it does no good dwelling on it. I forgave you and you need to forgive yourself." he says sweetly and I nod into his chest.
He stays for a few days and then we go back to London and it was good to be back and to be with him. We went back to our usual schedule basically where he works a lot and I spend time with Cyn and Mo or just at home with the pets. Not much changed over the next months, it was just same old same old and Paul went on tour during the summer and I again stayed with Cyn while the boys were gone and Paul wrote and called somewhat often. He said how they were getting so fed up with touring with not being able to hear themselves, their equipment getting rained on and they weren't getting any respect from the fans and so they secretly decided they were done with touring, even though Paul wanted to continue. The band spent more time in the studio getting into new recording techniques and really improving and changing their sound, they were really starting to grow up a bit from the lanky boys they first were when beatlemania happened and now at christmas Paul's got a mustache and we're both slowly maturing, but we still have our childish moments.
"J wake up, it's Christmas!" I hear Paul say as he jumps on the bed and I pull the covers up higher and groan.
"Go away!" I whine and hear him chuckle and he pulls the comforter from me as I fight and whine.
"C'mon we gotta go open presents, love!" he says like a giddy little kid as he's in a t shirt and pajama pants, like always.
"I wanna sleep!" I whine and he plops down on the bed beside me and pulls me into his warm chest and I snuggle into his warm body as he wraps his arms around me and pulls the comfort back over us.
"Shave that caterpillar off, will ya?" I whine as I look up at him and finger his mustache.
"I like it, it's like my little buddy keepin' me warm!" he says and I laugh and roll my eyes.
"I hate it, you look weird with it!" I say as I feel his warm hands trail up and down my back under my shirt as we look at each other lovingly.
"I'll shave it off sometime soon, it's bloody itchy anyways!" he says and I laugh and nod.
"How long?" I ask him.
"I dunno, a few months, I gotta have it for the cover shoot." he says and I nod remembering him telling me about his big idea for the new album they're working on and how much work is being put into it.
"You do look pretty damn sexy with it though." I admit as I stroke his soft cheek and he winks at me and press my lips against his and kiss him.
"I love you." i say against his perfect lips as we stare at each other.
"I love you too, baby." he answers and I smile and rest my forehead against his.
"We have to go to my dad's around noon for lunch, and would you mind helping Ang with the dinner? Considering yer great cooking skills." he says seriously and I nod and he does too and kisses my cheek.
"C'mon J, I've been waiting weeks to open yer presents and for you to open mine!" paul whines as he gets out of the warm bed and I nod and get out to expose my body to the nippy air and so I grab a blanket to wrap around myself.
"Wow, somebody's enthusiastic!" I mutter sleepily as I walk down the stairs with him in front of me, walking very slow.
"Hurry up Jimmy, you're such a slow walker!" I say playfully to him.
"Well I'm sorry I don't walk as fast as you do, Jacqueline Elizabeth!" Paul says in a mocking tone and I laugh at him and we get downstairs and Paul bounds for the tree over in the living room.
AN: Something big is coming up, that's all I'm going to say. I hope you're liking these parts by the way, leave a review if you wanna, I'd love to read them!