Chapter 4

For the first time she could remember she was truly nervous to enter the Café Musain. She had started working there her first week of college, after moving into her crappy apartment. It was where she first met Musichetta, and then from her all of the Amis, including Enjolras. It had become like her sanctuary, the first place where she was away from home and could truly be herself.

Yet now she stood in front of the building almost afraid to enter. She knew everyone would be in there and she somehow thought that they would know that she was pregnant just by looking at her.

Éponine had had to leave for class not long after her discussion with Enjolras. They had made her an appointment to see the doctor later in the week, and per Éponine's request they had decided not to share their news with anyone until the time was right, especially considering they hadn't really figured out their situation yet. Personally Éponine didn't know if the time would ever be right, and was seriously considering just waiting until she got so big that one of the Amis, most likely a drunk Grantaire, would cautiously ask her if she was pregnant. She imagined crying and saying that she had been stress eating with graduation around the corner. She smirked at the image of Grantaire apologizing profusely.

"Um, Éponine are you going to go in?" Éponine jumped at the voice and whirled around to see Combeferre standing behind her.

"Oh yeah sorry about that, I just didn't get much sleep last night, I was zoning out." Éponine could feel her face reddening already. Combeferre perked his eyebrows at her strange behavior, but simply shrugged and followed her into the café.

The overwhelming smell of coffee hit her head on when she walked in, and she suddenly felt a little dizzy. She must have stumbled a bit because Combeferre had gently taken her arm.

"Are you sure you're okay Éponine?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired, like I said. After this shift I'm going to go right back to bed, don't worry." She smiled at Combeferre and walked behind the counter confidently, making sure to keep herself steady. Combeferre seemed to look at her questioningly again, but after a moment walked towards the table in the back where most of the Amis where already gathered.

Éponine sighed as he turned away. She had only been in here a few moments and she had already made someone suspicious. She had been hoping to make it at least a few months before anyone found out. And now Combeferre and most likely the rest of the Amis would be keeping an eye on her. She watched as Combeferre whispered something to Enjolras. He looked up, as if startled to see her, and then waved hesitantly. She waved back, and Combeferre looked confused at the exchange. Éponine felt like smacking her head on the table. They were horrible at being covert.

She put her apron on and joined Musichetta behind the counter. "Are you okay Éponine? You look a little pale." Musichetta mused.

"I'm fine, don't worry," she replied, though the smell of the coffee was starting to make her a little nauseous. She had thrown up a few times the past few weeks and hoped it didn't become a regular occurrence. She needed this job, and she didn't know how she could do it well if she couldn't stand the smell of the very product she was supposed to be selling. Luckily it was a slow day and she was able to lean on the counter and breathe slowly until her nausea ebbed.

She suddenly had a horrible realization- she wouldn't be able to drink coffee for nine months. She was a monster in the morning without coffee, everyone knew to stay away from her until she had had at least one cup. She realized she hadn't had any with Enjolras at breakfast, maybe that's why she had snapped at the girl in her first class that had asked her for a pencil.

She suddenly began to think of all the things she wouldn't be able to do for nine months, she couldn't drink, she couldn't smoke (she actually hated smoking but she would like to have the option to if she so pleased), and there were definitely countless other things she couldn't do as well that she didn't know about. Oh God she thought, I don't know anything about being pregnant, what if I do one of those things today and mess this whole thing up? She was really starting to panic.

Musichetta looked at her worriedly, "Éponine are you sure that you're okay? Maybe you should sit down for a while?"

"No, I'm fine I promise." Pull your shit together Éponine, she thought to herself. She straightened up and busied herself with the next costumer. She willed herself not to think pregnancy related thoughts until she and Enjolras could go back to his apartment after her shift and finish their discussion.

Éponine managed to get through two hours without having a panic attack and was congratulating herself with a chocolate éclair when she saw Enjolras approach the counter. He smirked at the éclair.

"Craving?" he mused, chuckling to himself.

She quickly glanced around and realized Musichetta was in the bathroom, they were alone.

"You little shit!" She hit him in the arm, hard, and his laughter turned into a pained wince. She smirked, feeling victorious.

"Seriously though, are you okay?" he asked looking a little worried. "Combeferre said you were looking a little unsteady earlier and he was thought you might be coming down with something."

She suddenly felt a little bad about how hard she had hit him. "I'm fine, the coffee smell just hit me really hard. My senses are going a little crazy at the moment."

He looked pensive, "Are you going to be okay working here?"

"I'll be fine, don't worry. We'll talk about it tonight," she quickly added as she saw Musichetta walking towards them on her way back from the bathroom.

Enjolras saw her coming too. "I'll have a hot chocolate," he stated as Musichetta rounded the corner of the counter.

Éponine raised her eyebrow. Enjolras always had the same thing- a coffee, black with two sugars. Musichetta looked at him curiously as well. "It's getting kind of late, I don't want to be up all night with the caffeine," he shrugged.

Éponine realized that he was trying to spare her from the coffee smell. It moved her so much that she felt tears coming to her eyes. It must be the hormones she thought, mortified as she kept her head down while she made his drink. Should the hormones even affect me this early? Is this like the placebo effect, am I just acting like I'm pregnant because I just found out I am? She finished his drink and handed it to him. He smiled widely at her and she had the sudden urge to kiss him. Yep, must be the hormones she thought as he walked back to his table.

Suddenly there was a rush of air as the door opened and Marius rushed in, holding his beloved fiancés hand.

Éponine was started to realize that she hadn't thought of him all day, when he was usually the center of her thoughts. She supposed with everything going on she hadn't had much time for him.

"Hello Éponine, it's a beautiful evening isn't it," he gushed, Cosette grinning ear to ear by his side. That's what you think, she thought.

"I'll have a large coffee and my fiancé," he said the last part with a huge grin and a glance at Cosette, "Will have a medium vanilla latte."

Éponine felt like she was going to vomit, though if it was from all of the coffee she was going to have to make or the soon to be newlywed's behavior she couldn't tell. She quickly made their orders with the help of Musichetta and handed both drinks to Marius without comment. He seemed a little deflated by the fact that she hadn't greeted him with her usual zeal, but he quickly turned around and headed to the back of the café.

"Nice of you to finally join us Marius!" she heard Courfeyrac exclaim loudly. As she glanced towards the back of the room she caught Enjolras' eyes. He seemed to be trying to gauge her reaction to her encounter with Marius. She started to think about the interaction herself. She did not seem to have the butterflies in her stomach that usually accompanied any meeting with Marius. In fact if anything she was a little nauseous. If she really strained herself she could feel that pang of hurt that came with seeing Marius and Cosette. But the most prominent feeling was a tinge of annoyance that Marius had expected her to dote on him like a lost puppy. She was a little taken aback as she thought about her feelings. Perhaps life-changing pregnancies cancelled out unrequited crushes. She certainly hoped so.

She looked up at Enjolras and smiled. He smiled back.