"Smooth, Em. Real smooth."
Poor Georgie was laughing so hard he looked like he was going to piss himself.
"Geez Georgie, give it a rest. You're gonna be cleaning that seat when you piss yourself." I looked over at him and grinned. Georgie, however, did not grin back. The poor little guy had been a serial bed wetter up until last fall.
Right on cue, Georgie's bottom lip shot out. "Now you know damn well that lip doesn't work on me." And, there it goes a little bit further.
"Alright Georgie, I'm sorry for makin' fun. Take a chill pill."
"I'll forgive you if you promise to get me a coke at Lawrence's before we go home." Ugh, boo lip plus whiny eight year old plus embarrassing myself in front of the cutest girls in town equals push over Emmett.
"Fine, I'll get you a coke. But you cannot tell anyone at home about that conversation with Miss Penny. You know that Willie would never let me live that down." Willie is the third McCarty boy. He is also my personal tormentor.
While we're all a little on the wild side, Willie is the wildest. He refuses to go to church and doesn't even bow his head during grace at dinner (when he decides to show up anyway). It just about breaks Momma's heart.
Speaking of Momma's broken heart; he really put the crack in it when he moved out. McCarty's don't move out until your new house on your piece of the land is ready and your new bride is going with you. As you can just about figure, Willie's not married. He's living with a lady down in Wolf Valley. Her name is Betty Jenkins. Everybody knows Betty, if you catch my drift.
My two oldest brothers are already married and moved out with babies. Jack and his wife have one little girl, Lily. She is a pretty little thing. Frank and his wife are expecting their first this summer. I can't wait to see what it is. Everybody says it'll be another McCarty boy, but I'm secretly hoping for another little niece to spoil.
"Do you think we'll see Willie? I miss him." God love Georgie. Willie treats him like gum on the bottom of his shoe and he still looks up to him. Like all of us, Willie played baseball in school. He was actually the first pitcher in the family. That just made him an absolute apple in Georgie's eye.
It's a damn shame that the feelings not mutual. I went down to cellar one day last fall and found Georgie down there just a'cryin'. I could've skinned Willie alive when I found out what happened. He took Georgie down to Lawrence's for a coke and left him there! He followed that Betty Jenkins home and left his baby brother in the store. Poor Georgie had walk himself all the way home from town.
When Willie finally stumbled home the next morning I laid into him. All of his things were gone by supper time and he was living in sin with a safety pin.
"I don't know little buddy. We might." I sure hope we don't anyway. That would just make this day a little worse.
"Wow Em. Check out that car!" I followed Georgie's pointer finger. My eyes came to rest on the most gorgeous automobile I have ever laid my eyes on.
"That has to be one of the doctor's cars, Em! Do you think I can get a car like that when I'm a doctor someday?" He kept asking questions, but I wasn't hearing them. I was too busy staring at a 1930 Buick Model 47. Four door sedan and black as night.
"How much do you think that cost? Do you think we could get one of those? I bet Daddy would love that car. It's much prettier than this old Dodge, ain't it?"
"Yep, Georgie, it's about fifteen hundred dollars worth of pretty. And yes, Daddy would love that car. So does Emmett."
"So does Georgie." We both sighed and just sat and stared until I heard the voice of the devil.
"Well, I'll be damned! You didn't tell me your mission was gonna be bringing you to my neck of the woods!" shouted Ruby. Right in my left ear.
"Em wanted to surprise you, Miss Ruby." I shot Georgie a look that would silence the dead.
"Not really, Ruby. We're just making a delivery to your daddy." I hopped out of the car and she looked me up and down, then up again. Now, for most girls I might flex a little or give them a smile. Not for Tomato Head though. "Come on Georgie."
"Emmett McCarty, why won't you even give me the time of day? Have I ever done anything to you?"
Georgie then decided to pipe up. "No Miss Ruby, but Momma would kill any of the boys if they brought you home." Ruby's face about fell to her ankles.
"Ruby, it's not like that. You know how mommas are. No one is good enough for their baby boys." I covertly flicked Georgie in the ear and pulled him around to the back of the Dodge to help me get the recipe out.
"Well, would you look at that handsome devil? I don't normally like blondes but, wow. He could be in the movies!" Georgie and I looked up from the trunk and glanced to where Ruby was looking.
Georgie's face lit up and he took off running.
"Dr. Cuuuuuuuuulllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnn!!!!!!!!"
The pretty boy doctor had returned.