[A/N: My sincerest apologies for committing my biggest pet peeve-a huge amount of time between updates. Thanksgiving happened, then work happened, and things got busy. Never fear; I'm still working on this. Better yet, I have inspiration for a new story, too. So please bear with me and thank you, as always, for your reviews. I live off of them.]

Chapter Four

I can't believe this skin is

One we've always been with

For as long as we recall it.

For everything that it's been through,

Know that I forgive you,

Know that I will hold you when the sky is falling

But Niles wasn't always a smart man.

In an instant, he stood up, grabbed CC's untouched cheesecake, and walked away. He ignored Fran, whose fork had been inching toward the dessert, and her squawk of protest.

Trusting his memory, Niles followed the path he thought he saw CC take out of the periphery of his vision. The ballroom had several rooms and hallways branching off from it, and the party had spilled out subsequently. He found her sitting perched on a stiff-backed chair in a small room with an empty desk. He allowed himself one moment to wonder pointlessly at what the room was used for before he stepped in fully and shut the door behind him.

"I brought you this," Niles said as a way of greeting, thrusting the plate under her face. She took it wordlessly. "You should thank me, you know. Fran was about to eat it."

"You should have let her," CC said, placing it on the desk. "I've lost my appetite."

"Really? We should try to play the lottery, then, since all sorts of impossible things seem to be happening today."

CC looked up at him oddly, as though trying to figure out what he was doing. They hadn't battled verbally in weeks, and he knew she couldn't tell if he was playing or going for the hurt.

"Really, CC, try the cheesecake. It's good," Niles said in a gentler tone. He reached around her, grabbed the plate, and placed it back in her hands. "Eat."

"What are you doing?" she asked softly, staring at the creamy cake.

Niles sighed, leaning against the wall in the room. "I don't quite know."

"I'm glad we've established that," CC said, the bite in her voice returning quickly. "You can go, then."

Niles almost smiled at the familiarity of CC's snappishness. "There she is. Welcome back, sweetheart."

The mocking use of one of her favorite terms of endearment made her want to throw the plate at his head. She bit back whatever she might have said and took a small bite of the cheesecake. He was right; it was delicious.

"We haven't had an actual conversation in a while," Niles said casually.

"Not since you left," CC muttered, taking another bite.

"Not since you kicked me out," Niles corrected, placing his hands behind the small of his back as he rocked against the wall.

"Not since you thought I actually wanted you gone for good," CC bit out, refusing to look him in the eye.

Niles' heart skipped a beat; perhaps they actually would accomplish something here tonight. "Didn't you?"

"I don't know," was all she said.

"CC," Niles said softly.

She could tell he wanted to ask her a question, but the gentle caress he'd given her name created a lump in her throat, bigger than the oversized bite of cheesecake she was attempting to swallow. She made a noise somewhere between a hum and a grunt.

"Why were you almost crying earlier?" he asked.

"I wasn't crying."

"Which is why I didn't ask why you were crying earlier. I asked why you were almost crying," Niles explained.

CC merely shook her head. He understood this as not a denial of what he'd said but rather an unwillingness to respond.

"It was nice, you know," Niles began. CC's eyes snapped up to his and he saw fire brewing. He quickly amended, "I don't mean that you almost crying was nice. I'm sorry. I meant it was nice talking to Robert earlier."

"You hate schmoozing."

"I do," Niles agreed. "But Robert's a good man. And it was nice standing there with you."

"Yes, we're quite the actors," CC said dryly. She took the last bite of her cheesecake and set the plate on the desk. She immediately regretted it, though, as she no longer had anything else to look at.

"Are we?" Niles asked. He was staring directly at her but she refused to acknowledge it.

Whatever was causing this strange interest didn't matter to CC. She'd seen enough earlier to know: how he looked at her now was so painfully different from how he'd looked at her then. There was no going back. She'd ruined everything and must live with the consequences.

Niles sighed and walked over to the desk, pushing the empty plate aside. He hopped on top of it and sat with his back slightly hunched, his legs dangling listlessly.

For some strange reason, CC wanted to laugh. "All you need is a miniskirt, Miss Fine."

"You should be so lucky to see these legs in a short skirt," Niles replied airily, jiggling one leg in front of her.

Again, CC bit back a small laugh.

"Why?" Niles suddenly burst out. CC started and turned to look at him.

"What?" she asked, her eyes widened slightly.

"Why do you do that? I saw you about to laugh, but you stopped yourself. Why?" he grilled.

"Because…because I…" CC faltered.

"Because things aren't going well between us, so you feel the need to stick to some strange code? We can't laugh anymore, we can't tease each other anymore?"

"What does it matter?" CC shot back. "So I laugh at a stupid joke. Does it fix everything? No. Then what's the point?"

"How do you expect to fix anything if you don't communicate?" Niles volleyed.

"Oh, yes, please. A lesson in communication from the master himself," CC retorted. "He whose only methods of communication are insults and practical jokes."

Here it was. The frustration between them, borne from so many sources, escalating until it reached its peak. Years ago, CC coped with a drink and he with a cigar stolen from Maxwell. Months ago, they'd solved it, quite simply, with sex. Now, they solved it with silence. The chasm between them grew exponentially and Niles was sure he was the only one trying to reign it in, like trying to contain a dozen marbles all rolling off in different directions.

"CC, you can't look for a cure-all, and you can't expect it to come from me," Niles said with a sigh.

"Finally defeated, then?" she asked, sitting back in her chair. Niles had an awful feeling that if she'd had her martini with her, she would have cheered him.

"I know you well enough to know you wouldn't be proud of that, so don't act like you are," Niles responded. "You spend months testing me, seeing if I'm worthy, checking if I'll stick around. Then you feel vindicated if I don't. It's so self-defeating, CC."

CC turned to face the wall, irritated with his insight and angry with herself. "We're all well aware of my shortcomings in the romance department. I don't need you to spell them out."

"That isn't what I came here to do," Niles told her, clasping his hands between his knees.

"Then why did you?" CC wanted to know. The most minuscule ember of hope flickered dimly in her chest.

Niles paused. "Good question."

It flared back into darkness. "Then just go."

"Oh, no, you don't, Babcock. I followed those instructions weeks ago and look where it got me," Niles responded.

"To a much better place," she said softly.

Niles bristled as he always did when she took shots at herself. That was his job. "Maybe I came to work on things."

"Don't waste the effort," CC told him. She stood to leave.

"Damnit, CC, no," Niles said, pushing off the desk and standing next to her. "I'm sick of people telling me that. 'Just give up,' 'it isn't worth it,' and now you. Screw what everyone thinks, CC. I'm not giving up."

"I have," CC said, walking toward the door.

Niles stepped toward her and grasped her elbow, turning her to face him. He brought his free hand up to her other elbow and held her in place. "I know you have. I'll just try twice as hard."

Unwelcome, tears began to fill her eyes. She screwed her eyes shut and shook her head firmly.

"CC. What happened?" Niles asked, his voice finally revealing the sadness he'd kept in check. He felt her raise her shoulders halfheartedly in a shrug. "What happened with us? Things were fine and then—"

"Then they weren't," CC finished. She opened her eyes and looked at him squarely. "It just fell apart."

"It happened so quickly," Niles said, almost as if he were talking to himself.

"Which is why we should just cut our losses and move on," CC said roughly, pulling out of his grasp. "Anything that falls apart so easily is just fundamentally unstable."

"No," said Niles firmly, placing his hand on the door so CC couldn't leave. "I refuse to believe that. If there were something fundamentally wrong with us, then yes. I'd cut my losses and move on. But I refuse to believe we can't fix this."

CC stood off-balance, stuck at the precipice of believing him or accepting what everyone else said. Logic encouraged her back from the ledge, where everyone else watched her expectantly, while he stood in the unknown. He could be so persuasive…

"It's you and me, CC," Niles said, brushing her cheek gently. "You can't tell me you think there's something wrong with that."

CC stood silently. She'd gone from never believing they were possible to never believing they were impossible and now she didn't know what to think. The evidence was impossible to deny: it hadn't worked out.

She nudged his hand away from the door and pulled it open. "Yes, I can."