Softly Melancholy
Soft is the sand at the edge of the ocean. Soft is the first snow of winter. Soft is the silk that we wrap ourselves in. Soft is the bed upon wich we sleep. Soft is the skin within wich we live. Soft are the lips that meet ours in the secret times we have stolen. Soft is the fur of the wolf, though his teeth are sharp.
I am alone, reflecting upon the reasoning behind my own actions. I question myself, asking was it right for me to leave them? Was I right to run away? Did I decide too fast? Did I make the wrong decision? Will this action of mine save them, or condemn them?
My heart races and my musles contract as my body is pushed to its limit. I am alone, forcing myself to move and stretch as I normally do. My body will not break this time though.
Yes I have concidered death, many times over by now, but that would make my life worse. I would only be reborn into the Se-rei-te and become a soul reaper, like Ichigo. Or I would become a hollow. either way, My life was better now, as it was. The cold man called Ulquiorra wasn't so bad as a companion. In fact he was easier to get along with now that he was gone most of the time, leaving me to my thoughts. And what thoughts I could produce!
But my one comfort was that I was never asked my thoughts. My thoughts were always on the others. I worried about them. And I wondered about them and how things might be different. I remembered the spring days in that classroom, with all of them gathered around, or off in their own little groups. And I felt remorse for the life I'd left behind. I wanted to go home, but I knew that if I did the others would be in danger. I was not worth their lives. I had no delusions about my worth. But all the same, I still cared. I sincerely hoped that they all knew this. I missed them dearly and wished them safe, but I wasn't going back. When I agreed to come to Hueco Mundo I made my decision. And it would stand. I wasn't going to leave this place.
I sighed and snuggled deeper into the fur of the small stuffed cat I had snuck along with me to remind me of home, and fell slowly asleep.