"Okay Phil, are you ready?" Louise asked standing by the door, urging Phil to hurry up in little ways. She had told him she was taking him to the zoo, which wasn't a complete lie. They would go to the zoo, after he when to the clinic. She had set up an appointment last night and they were on the verge of running late; Louise refused to be late. Phil slipped on his coat, checked to make sure he had everything, then nodded. "Alright, let's go!" Louise called leading the charge. She didn't see Phil smile when her back was away from him but she did hear a soft, muffled by going through his nose, chuckle escape. She wasn't sure if it was true or not though, so she didn't make a big deal about it.
She felt horrible.
When the taxi pulled up the to clinic, Phil had looked over at her with hurt and anger for being betrayed in this fashion.
"Phil, you need help." Was all she had said with a friendly hand on his shoulder. He knew she was right but that didn't stop him from being angry with her. He jerked away from her touch like he always had and got out of the taxi without a word and went inside the building. Louise was left in the cab with the meter running until Phil texted her.
'Go on home, I'll catch up with you later.' It felt like a hostile text considered it was Phil who had made it.
'I'm sorry Phil.' Louise texted back then added; 'We can still go to the zoo afterward, if you'd like?' The reply was simple and felt angry.
'I'll go by myself, thanks. I'll catch up with you later.' He repeated, and with that, Louise went back to her flat while Phil went to the appointment.
"'Ello." A cheerful secretary greeted Phil. The waiting room with set back in time with shag carpet and fake wooden walls that made the room feel more like a prison than a welcoming center. "Are you here for an appointment?" She asked. Phil looked around for a pen and paper, found them then wrote down his name. She only continued to smile as she read the scribbled, tight handwriting. "Phil Lester?" She asked to which he nodded. "Very good." She typed into the computer then said "Ah yes, your friend Louise called in for you." He felt uneasy and angry to hear this but she moved on as if she hadn't noticed this. "Mrs. Grobat will be you with in a moment, please have a seat." She motioned to the leather, uncomfortable looking seats that matched the rest of the room. Phil decided to stand and wait for his name to be called back.
In the mean time, there were several other patients that went back and few returning. Mostly women with their arms folded across their chests and a handful of men who tried to look tough but only looked sad and scared. Even a couple children with horrified looking parents.
"Phil Lester?" Someone asked opening the door and looking into the waiting room like others before her. He stopped leaning on the wall and followed her in, unsure of what lied ahead of him.
At the same moment...
Outside...
Dan looked up at the unmovable building with disgust and wonder. How many broken people had entered through those wooden doors and been healed? How many people had gone through what he had and recovered? How many never did, even with help? Dan thought all this and more as he smoked away at a cigarette in the gloomy London atmosphere.
Something then caught his attention. A mother with her face covered by a veil was helping her son up the stairs to the building. He wondered who the appointment was made for when the mother instructed her son: "Now remember, it wasn't your fault and they want to help. That's all they want to do is help." The son nodded but said nothing. Dan nearly swallowed his cigarette.
There were kids going through what he was going through?
Well, if they can get through a stupid appointment, then I can too. He reasoned, all I need to do is man-.
Suddenly he was back in the alley, vulnerable and with that man. He slapped him on the ass and growled "'Take it like a man.'" Dan turned and ran away. He didn't stop until he had zigzagged his way into a park he knew very well then threw up in the bushes nearest his exhausted body.
"Enough!" He yelled at no one, sending nearby birds into flight. "This has got to stop. I'm tired of being scared at the time. Enough is enough." He talked to himself the whole way back to the clinic, ignoring the stares and pushing himself into doing something that needed to be done a long time ago.
"'Ello, do you have an appointment?" The secretary asked Dan when he entered the building.
"No, can I make one?" He asked, he hadn't realized he needed one.
"Well, there is someone who takes walk-ins, but she is busy with a client right now. So if you take a seat, I'm sure she'll be ready for you soon." The woman smiled, "And I need you're name when they call you back." She requested.
"Dan Howell." He stated.
"Well Dan, it will only be a few minutes wait." She grinned up at him, Dan nodded and sat on a nearby leather chair. It wasn't nearly as comfortable as it looked, and it looked as uncomfortable as a dentist's chair. Dan decided to stand instead.
He saw people come and go but no one stuck out in particular.
"Dan Howell?" A woman asked. Dan stopped leaning and followed her into a small office room with a couch, a chair, a small office space and another computer chair with a woman sitting in it. Dan stepped in and sat down in opposite chair. The woman pressed a button on her desk that locked the door behind Dan before finally facing him.
"No fucking way." Dan growled seeing it was the same woman who had visited him in the hospital to record his side of the story.
"Nice to see you too, Daniel." She smiled softly at his reaction. She must not get one like that too often he thought before reaching to open the door.
"Let me out!" He roared, yanking on the handle.
"Something drew you to this clinic Daniel." She said grabbing her pen and notepad as he listened and stopped pulling on the door. "And I'd like to know what that was. So if you don't mind, I'd like to chat with you a little more before you leave today." She said clicking her pen and waited for him to sit again like a good little patient.