Well people time for yet another Christmas Chapter. Though Smash Brothers doesn't belong to me, and neither does the idea of parodying Christmas stories in order to get viewers, I still think I can make it into something funny. This idea in particular should be good since it came from a very special source and has appearances by some very familiar people around here. So with that said enjoy the story and stuff.
"Another Generic Smash Brothers Christmas Story, Aka The Twelve Nights Of Smashmas, Chapter Four"
By DianaGohan.
In another part of town Wario, Lucario, Sonic and Yoshi were shown walking through the streets as the snow turned into rain and was pelting down hard on them.
"Oh man water is so way past uncool, especially when it's on me!" Sonic said running under a covering in front of a store.
"Well deal. Until we can find some calling birds and end this stupidity we're stuck here" Yoshi said looking around. "So anyone know some birds we can call?"
"No, but I see a something better then a that". Wario was shown running over to some random chubby guy sitting down and ringing a bell in a Santa outfit. "This is a mine!" He said taking the bucket in front of him.
"Hey that's money for charity!" The guy called out.
"Well I'm a giving to the a funds of myself and if you don't a like it you can a kiss my gas." A toxic fart then ruptured out of Wario as the guy then fell down, gagging as sputtering around as he then fell limp. "Yeah a take that."
Lucario's eyes glows. "Hmmm my aura senses no life force in that man, indicating that you killed him."
"Oh a no I didn't-a". Wario then kicked him a few times. "Isn't that a right pal?" The guy just laid there as Wario looked freaked. "Uh... you can't a pin this on a Wario!" He then quickly rode out on his motorcycle. "Have a fun in a jail, suckers!"
"Jail is so not cool" Sonic said holding out his hand. "Especially if it's on Prison Island and Amy way's past trying to get me to marry her-"
"You're gay for rejecting her so many times" Lucario stated as Sonic then homing attacked him before hiding back in front of the building. "Wow that didn't even build my aura at all. Maybe I should go into "rejecting my personality quirks for a cheap attempt at humor" mode and actually try and find these birds."
"Going to be hard since there dosen't seem to be anyone around here" Yoshi said looking around supsciously. "Surley the cops should of come by now from what I remembered about Grand Theft Auto."
"Good thing Master Hand isn't here otherwise he'd pummel you for supporting the competition" Lucario called out.
"No, not like that! I just saw this Robot Chicken sketch that had Mario and Luigi in Vice city and me getting eaten by Resident Evil zombies... oh yeah, now I remember why I hate that show."
"Hey at least you weren't killed by some mondo lame speed strip" Sonic said holding out his hand. "I say we way past bash those guys in."
"Yeah after we find some birds." Yoshi snapped his fingers. "Oh I know." He held out his hands. "Hey Birdo, come out here you he she abomination!" Birdo then ran out shooting eggs at Yoshi as he he just ate them and threw one of his own, knocking the bird out. "That's for stealing my thing."
"Wasn't it Birdo's thing first?" Lucario asked.
"Oh whatever". Yoshi then ground stamped Birdo hard to the ground. "There, since I technically called for him and his name is a bird despite being some sort of gender confused dino creature, that counts as one calling bird. We just need three more."
"Oh, I know a way past bunch of lameos we can all stomp on" Sonic said holding out his hands. "Hey Babylon Rouges! I way past vote you the worst characters ever on my franchise!"
"Hey, we were only supposed to be ranked 5th worst after Princess Elise, Nate Morgan and Chris and well anyone who isn't a human and not related to Eggman!" Screamed out a green hawk who was riding in on a wave boarder with a purple swallow and a giant Gray Albatross. Sonic Homing attacked them hard in the face, knocking them off they're boards. Lucario then used an Aura Sphere to blast them, knocking them to the ground unconscious.
"Heh you guys were so lame you were way past not even worth having more then a line of dialgoue!" Sonic called out.
Yoshi looked around. "Yeah this seems like it's going to be a very short chapter. I mean we already got the birds and there doesn't seem to be any other problems around."
"What about the fact that no one is in this city for some mysterious reason that has yet to be explained?" Lucario asked.
"Oh yeah, that vague foreshadowing from before. That will probably have something to do with whatever passes for plot around here." Yoshi then looked tos ee Wario riding back in. "And that I'm sure will have something to do with it as well."
"You've a got to help me out-a!" Wario said landing in front of the others. "She's a coming."
"Who, DianaGohan?" Yoshi asked, pounding his fists together. "That would be a good thing actually. Now we can kick her ass for sticking us in this Christmas crap."
"No a someone even worse!"
"Uh... Sarah Palin?" Lucario asked as he was then pummeled by various people who don't want to hear any more election jokes in stories anymore. "Well that was refreshing" Lucario said as his aura glowed with more energy.
Wario pointed at them. "Look there's an evil witch coming who is going to a take us all over if we a don't stop her a evil reign."
"Look we already made the Sarah Palin joke so can you just tell us who it is?" Yoshi asked. Suddenly an energy bolt then appeared as it struck the four "birds" in the middle of the street, turning them into toys as another beam hit and turn those toys into trophy toys.
"Looks like that adds four more to my collection, like anyone cares" a voice was heard saying as the four heroes looked to see the WarioWare Witch Ashley standing on top of a building holding a dark cannon. "I'm going to blast you guys into toy trophies I can sell to buy some like poetry books or something."
"Why would you do that?" Lucario asked.
"Who cares? I know I don't." Ashley then fired at them again as our heroes were able to dodge.
"Wait a minute..." Yoshi held out his hand. "The dark cannon of Ganondorf's Master Hand put in storage in the manson, turning us into toys to sell for profits-"
"Profits she wasn't even going to a share with a me!" Wario cried out.
"Hey that's because I don't care about you" Ashley pointed out. "I mean I don't care about anything at all but I especially don't care about you and stuff so like not sharing the profits I make off selling Pokemon and Kirby figures and blah blah blah."
Yoshi gasped. "Oh my god... Diana's gotten so desperate she's actually taken ideas that Alex Warlorn's suggested over in depth private messaging conversations!"
Alex Warlorn was shown sweeping in front of the pet shop. "Now if only she got rid of all the OOCness in these comedy tales and we'd have something. Seriously if you want to make OOC fanfic, make original characters."
"Hey it's fun to imagine popular characters the way I want them in various zany or serious events" a voice from the heavens was heard crying out. "Besides, you don't want to meet my OC characters.... but uh if you do make a note in the review asking for them, and tell more of your online D&D friends to read and review this, or else!"
Alex Warlorn looked around. "I don't know what's sadder. This pointless cutaway, or the long indepth commentary note I could give on it." he said as he continued to sweep.
Back in the city Ashley was shown looking around. "Yeah I like didn't get him cause he suggested this. I wanted to just do nothing but figured whatever and that it'd be a good way to make money and stuff."
"Selling people isn't a way past good Christmas Tradition!" Sonic said pointing up at her. "You should be learning about peace on earth and goodwill towards man and mondo cornball stuff like that."
"On like an I don't care o meter, that's a 700 along with pretty much the rest of the world" she said trying to blast Sonic.
"Hey I didn't avoid getting blasted throughout the entire subspace storyline by only appearing at the last minute to get taken down now!" He then started running along the building. "Time to go way past reverse Speed Highway on you." Ashley then blasted him with a magical energy bolt that knocked Sonic to the ground. "Anyone get the number of that lameo truck?" He said dazed.
"Mama Mia, she's a too powerful-a!" Wario said. "I mean uh... that's what Luigi would say if he was here cause he's a coward like that."
"Oh you're not any braver." Yoshi pointed at him. "She's your employee or something right? Can't you get her to stop?"
"Oh yeah-a". He then pointed up at Ashley. "You better stop this or at least give me all the profits-a or else I'm kicking you out of the next a Warioware came, that you all should be buying in 2009-a!"
"I don't care" Ashley said blasting him into a toy and then a trophy as she aimed at Lucario. "You're next... or something."
Lucario hen held out his hands shooting an aura sphere at her. "You can't stop the power of my aura!" She then blasted it away with a magical spell. "Mmmm looks like magic trumps aura. I wonder if they'll have that as type possibilities in the 5th generation."
"We have more things to worry about then that!" Yoshi said as he started chucking eggs upward as Ashley fired magical bolts knocking them away. "She's too powerful to hit from far away and this isn't the werehog story where we can just warp behind whoever we want for high pitch, animeesque battles."
"Nothing's too powerful for the master of Aura!" Lucario was shown cupping his hands. "This blast is powered by my determination to win so nothign can stop it!" He then shot it as Ashley deflect it with a magic spell. "Oh yeah, this ISN'T an anime battle. Well then I got nothing."
"Maybe we can help!" Said a pair of voices as they dropped down. One was another Lucario glowing with a different purple aura energy, and the other was a friendly teenage kid with short black hair wearing a dark brown magician's robe.
A random man on the street gasped. "Oh my god, it's a teenage boy and a beast-" The other Lucario then Jumped on the man and started pounding him hard to the ground.
"Maybe this will teach you who you call a beast!" The other Lucario said as he then stuck his hand through the man, shredding him to pieces with an Aura Sphere.
"Lucario, not cool!" The teenage boy called out. "I said you shouldn't kill random civilians like that!"
Well he was asking for it" the other Lucario stated wiping the blood off of him. "Calling me a beast and uh... probably doing some to threaten to you Chris."
"Wait a minute, Chris?" Yoshi gasped. "You must be... Chris and Lucario from The Subspace Emmisary World Conquest tale."
"Yeah that's us" Chris said pointing at Lucario. "I saw you guys needed a hand and felt that once again I could insert myself into a storyline that would otherwise have nothing to do with me."
Chris's Lucario nodded. "Yeah and wherever Chris goes I go."
"GAY!" Someone called out as Chris's Lucario blasted him into pieces.
"Yeah that guy did kind of deserve it" Chris admitted. "You know not seeing that our love for each other is only on a friendship basis."
"What about all the times you guys called each other brother and father and son and stuff like that?" Yoshi asked.
Chris thought for a second. "Well it's a... very weird friendship basis". He then looked to see Ashley trying to blast him as he dodged out of the way. "Hey we're trying to make introductions here. Then in a few chapters after we make more references to the game storyline we'll have the epic battle."
"I like don't care about your plot structure" Ashley said attempting to blast them again as the four were able to dodge.
"You're making a big mistake" Lucario said pointing up at Ashley. "Not even the power of in depth review suggestion can defeat the power of the longest and one of the most reviewed Smash Brothers stories ever."
"Yeah we might even get you guys to a second page of reviews today" Chris said looking around. "Provided this chapter gets placed in Japan." Suddenly the city warped to the middle of Japan as Chris smiled. "Ah now that's more like it. Now you can really taste my 74th magical energy job!" Chris said shooting a wave of lighting at her which Ashley countered with her own magic.
"Wow, you go through more jobs then Jonsey of 6Teen" Yoshi commented.
"Was... that suppose to be an insult?" Chris asked.
"No, just a random pop culture comment."
"Oh. Well yeah I have a lot of jobs to face the dangers in our action packed series of comedic, dramatic and good old fashioned fun adventures."
"Like no one cares about your product placement plugs. Or at least I don't though I still don't care about anything" Ashley said shooting down more lightning.
Chris was able to dodge as he looked at his Lucario. "Hmmm, she's tricky. We're going to need a really good strategy to beat her-" Chris was then struck with lightning as he fell to the ground.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Chris's Lucario screamed out as he shot a tremendous Aura Storm sphere at Ashley.
"Oh I'll just block that" She then shot an energy bolt to try and block it but it just bounced off. "Oh, I can't block that. Guess I'm going to die but like who cares?" She then got hit by the Aura Storm. "Whatever" she stated bored as she was ripped to dust.
"Man, I love doing that" Lucario said as Chris moaned. "And also my partner's in danger."
"Yeah of not feeling your penis!" Shouted another random man who Chris's Lucario blasted into ashes.
"Don't worry about me" Chris said as he was shown healing all his wounds. "Remember the 97th job I had as a doctor?"
"You're up to 97 jobs?" Lucario asked.
"Well I probably will be at some point" Chris said holding out his hands. "And now to use magical healing to restore everything back to it's proper place." He then held out his hands as a magical wave appeared, turning Wario and the birds back to normal (though they were still unconscious) and healing Sonic (who was not unconscious aka conscious) as people started appearing around the city again. "Thanks to my made Magic skills everyone Ashley Transformed is back to normal."
"I'm way past better then normal" Sonic said pointing at Chris. "And you're way past a jerk for making that mondo story asking if it was a good idea if I'm in Brawl when everyone knows it way past is."
Chris's Lucario gasped. "You pointed at Chris and gave him an insult... that means you die!" He then ran at Sonic and started pummeling him into the ground.
"Oh man I have to get some of that action" Lucario said to himself looking at the other Lucario. "Hey uh, Chris is dumb and I'm going to hit him and uh you know call you a beast and-"
"Hey I'm not falling for that" Chris's Lucario said walking away from the bloody, half conscious Sonic. "I read Chapter 38 of "Smashing Something New Every Day" and know you're just into insulting people to gain power."
Chris nodded. "Yeah. We read it and were going to have it on our review show but I think I caught a case of Diana's laziness that weak and it never got made."
"Well still thanks for helping us get rid of Ashley" Yoshi stated. "And by "help" we mean do all the work and make us totally insignificant".
"Hey it's what we're good at" Chris said smiling at Lucario. "Come on, let's go and find Diana and bug her some more for a chapter 13 parody."
"Hey can we come along?" Yoshi asked. "We owe her even more for making this story at the somewhat expense of others."
"Yeah sorry, I heard you guys were stuck here until you got all those presents so... get those presents stuff then." Lucario and Chris then warped off back to a more glorious and sadly far far more reviewed world.
"Well guess we should just head on back" Yoshi said picking up Birdo.
"Yeah, maybe I can a try finding another a lost dark cannon and try turning people into profit my a self" Wario said riding off on his bike.
Lucario picked up the Babylon Rogues. "And I'm going to see if I can find a way to get cool RPGesque class systems for various powers or even better, a human that will fill me with super aura rage any time he is threatened in any way whatsoever" Lucario then left, leaving the still beat up Sonic alone on the sidewalk.
"Man and I thought getting thrased around the werehog story was way past bad" Sonic said moaning in pain. "How come she always way past beats on me despite my series being her favorite?"
"Cause I wanted to see Knuckles in Brawl... I mean I'm sure very cosmic reasons" a voice was heard saying as Sonic groaned again and the camera panned out.
THE END!
Well hope you enjoyed that chapter everyone. And hope you remember to keep reviewing, and keep telling me stuff you want to see and I'll keep bastardizing your ideas... I mean putting unique and wonderful spins on them all in the name of some Yuletide entertainment. Oh and all of you (Besides Alex Warlorn) start reviewing my OTHER story "Night Of The Werehog: Brawl Edition" latest chapter okay?