A/N: Have your tissues on standby. I know that I did. Hope you enjoy.
Arriving home from work Casey kicked off her heels and padded towards the kitchen throwing her briefcase on the pile of boxes that were serving as a dining table. Taking a bottle of wine out of the fridge, she poured a large glass and took a grateful mouthful before setting it down and fixing a plate of the take out she had picked up on her way home. Popping a forkful of noodles into her mouth, she headed into her lounge hitting play on her answer phone, rolling her eyes at the message from her mother berating her for not calling and giving a sad sigh at the groveling message from Jennifer.
Flicking the TV on she are as she listen to the local news, her heart clenching painfully as Alex's name and picture came up. Finishing her dinner she refilled her glass and curled up on the couch switching on Sports Center where she has just taken a sip of wine when she heard a familiar voice.
"So this is your apartment, I like what you've done with the place. The boxes give it a down town, vagabond feeling."
Chocking on her drink she jumped to her feet and turned to the blonde sitting in the armchair, who was looking bore. Wiping the wine off her chin Casey asked, "What the hell! You're dead; why are you following me? You don't even like me. This can't be real, I'm hallucinating. Maybe it's a tumor. Yes that it it's a tumor."
"Do you always ramble like that?" Asked Alex with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you always haunt people you met for less than half an hour?"
"I'm not haunting you, would you stop saying that? This is ridiculous, is this all because I left our attempt at a 'date'?" Asked Alex using her fingers to make air quotes.
Picking up the TV remote Casey flicked the local news station back on, just as they re-ran the story of Alex's death. "See, I'm not making it up, it's on the damn news."
"But…but how can you see me if I'm dead?" Asked Alex in her best cross-examination voice.
"Because I'm crazy." Muttered Casey, slumping back down on the sofa.
"But I can't be dead; there are still things I have to do." Replied Alex her face a mask of fear and confusion.
"I really wish you hadn't died." Replied Casey as they sat in silence for a few minutes, "How did you find me?"
"I-I don't know. I was thinking about you and the next thing I knew I was here."
"You were thinking about me?" Asked Casey unsure why that thought gave her butterflies.
"Don't flatter yourself. I was thinking about this crazy story you concocted about me being dead." Replied Alex, thinking how unfair it was that she was blushing if she was indeed dead.
"I didn't concoct the damn story! You. Are. Dead!" Yelled Casey, just as there was a knock on her door.
Casting a look at the now empty armchair she took a deep breath and went to answer the door. Checking the peephole she saw a frowning Abbie on the other side and she opened it with a small smile, "Hi"
"You okay? Is this a bad time?" Asked Abbie craning her neck to try and see inside Casey's apartment.
"I'm fine, come in." Replied Casey stepping aside and allowing Abbie into her apartment, "Coffee? Wine?
"No, I can't stay. It sounded like you were shouting." Replied Abbie as she studied her friend.
"Oh...I was on the phone." Lied Casey, "I thought you were at Alex's parents making arrangements?"
"I was, I just wanted to come and check in on you, you seemed...a little off earlier."
"Oh, no I'm fine. It's not been the easiest first day in a new job."
"You think you're having a bad day?" Grumbled the blonde who had reappeared and was lounging in Casey's armchair.
"Really, can't you just leave me alone?" Grumbled Casey shooting Alex a glare.
"Um Case?" Asked Abbie shooting a worried glance at her friend.
"Sorry, guess I'm over tired." Replied Casey forcing a small smile to her face.
"Sure. I'll let you get some sleep then." Replied Abbie a small frown on her face.
"You do realize she probably thinks you're crazy, right?" Asked Alex a smirk clear in her voice.
"whose fault is that." Relied Casey through gritted teeth.
"Um Case, did you say something?" Asked Abbie as they reached the door.
"No, probably the neighbors TV or something." Replied Casey.
"Oh, okay. I'll see you tomorrow then. Oh and Alex's parents wanted me to tell you they would like to meet you."
"Why?"
"Probably want to make sure you don't ruin all my hard work." Snarked Alex.
"Guess they want to meet the person who last saw their daughter alive." Replied Abbie in a soft voice.
"I wish she hadn't left or she had let me drive her." Replied Casey.
"Case, it was deliberate someone came after her for a reason, there was nothing you could have done." Replied Abbie in a rare display of emotion before she pulled Casey in for a warm hug. "I should get back to Kim. Take care Case."
"You too Abbs and take care of Kim." Replied Casey watching until her friend was in the elevator.
"I really am dead, aren't I?" Asked Alex.
"I'm so sorry." Whispered Casey, unsurprised to find she was alone.
Heading into her bedroom Casey took a long shower and climbed into bed As she settled against the pillows she tried to focus on the book she was reading only to give up when she realized her mind was still on the deceased blonde. Casey didn't believe in ghosts, so why the hell was she the only one who could see Alex? It's not like they were even close? Surely she should be haunting Serena or Kim? She thought this over until she finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.
The rest of the week passed without incident and Casey was starting to think she had hallucinated the whole thing, having not seen Alex since Abbie's visit at the beginning of the week. Arriving home Friday evening Casey decided on a long shower before an early night. The following day was Alex's funeral and her parents were deciding to hold it on a Saturday so Alex's colleagues could attend.
Stepping out of the shower she dried off before wrapping a towel around herself and padded into her bedroom, almost screaming as she saw the blonde reclined on her bed."Jesus!"
"Nope, just me." Smiled Alex.
"I'm naked." Stuttered Casey.
"I'm a ghost." Countered Alex.
"You-you didn't watch me in the shower, did you?" Asked Casey.
"As if I have nothing better to do than stalk you." Smirked Alex, "Nice tattoo by the way."
"What! You looked?" Demanded Casey.
Raising an eyebrow Alex just smirked, before she sobered, "It's my funeral tomorrow."
"Yes."
"Are you going?"
"Yes, are you?" Suddenly the absurdity of the question hit Casey and she started to laugh, "I'm sorry."
"It's okay; it's a strange conversation to be having."
"Why me?" Asked Casey sitting on the bed.
"I don't know, no one else can see me or hear me."
"I'm sorry this happened to you."
"So am I." Whispered Alex before she disappeared leaving Casey sitting alone with just the lingering scent of her perfume.
Arriving at the small church the following day Casey waved at Abbie and Kim before slipping into a pew at the back of the packed church. As she looked around she could see several judges, attorneys and police officers of all ranks. Clearly Alex was well liked and respected.
"Good turn out." Came a voice from her left making her jump.
"Seriously? Can you not just sit quietly?" Hissed Casey.
"It's my funeral I can talk if I want to." Replied Alex, "But, if it makes it easier for you, I'll be quiet."
"Thank you." Whispered Casey, turning her attention to the minister who had started to talk about Alex.
Serena tried desperately to focus on the minister's words and held back her tears not wanting to look a mess when she stood up to give the eulogy. She was so lost in her own thoughts it was all too soon that her name was being called. Standing she gave Olivia's hand a tight squeeze before walking towards the podium and as she passed the coffin holding her best friend she almost lost the battle to hold back her tears.
As she stepped up to the podium, she swallowed several times before her voice would work, "I could tell you how much Alex touched the lives of those she met, or how dedicated to her job she was or how much I love her and will miss her every day, but you know all of that. Instead, I want to tell you the story of the time in law school we raided Alexander's liquor cabinet and got a little tipsy."
"Oh God she's telling this story." Drawled a voice in Casey's ear as Serena paused to gain control of her emotions.
"I thought we agreed you wouldn't say a word." Hissed Casey out the side of her mouth, sending an apologetic smile to the woman in front of her.
"I might die of embarrassment if she tells this story, do something."
"I hate to be crass..."
"Screw you."
"The first time I met Alex it was the week before my fifth Birthday. Alex was five years, three weeks and one day older than me; things like that are important when you're five. Alex's parents were throwing some big party and as we were around the same age, we were thrown together. I thought Alex was the smartest person I'd ever met as she knew so much more that I did. She had this way of seeming so knowledgeable and we have been friends ever since."
"Anyway, we came home from law school one Easter and as Alex's parents were away decided it would be a good idea to break out the good stuff, which turned out to be a lot stronger than we were used to. A few hours, a bottle of thousand dollar scotch and a large cheese and chocolate pizza later, Alex suddenly starts 'recreating' the moves from the Karate Kid and does this jump kick putting her foot through the door panel."
Waiting for the ripple of laughter to die down she continued, "Her foot gets stuck and in what I can only describe as a brilliant idea, Alex decides to put her other foot through to make the hole bigger. Needless to say it didn't work and we had to call the fire department to come and free her. She ended up with a broken right ankle and her first ever hangover. It's memories like that I will forever treasure."
"Alex was like my big sister, my best friend, my idol and I don't know how I'm going to manage without her." Blinking back her tears Serena rested her hand on Alex's coffin before embracing Sophie and taking her seat next to Olivia, the feeling of her girlfriend's arms around her dissolving the last of her resolve.
After Branch and the Chief of Police said a few words Alexander Cabot stepped up, his hand lingering in his daughter's coffin as he bowed his head in silence as if saying his own private goodbye. Out of the corner of her eye Casey could see the look of sadness on Alex's face and she so desperately wished there was some way she could offer her some comfort.
"When my daughter was five, I took her to see Santa at the mall and as she sat on his lap he asked her what she wanted for Christmas. Alex looked him in the eye and told him to take her presents to the children in the local children's home. In that moment I knew my daughter was someone special. That Christmas Eve we took boxes of toys, books and clothes to the home and a tradition was born and it was something she did every Christmas Eve. She was a hell of a woman and we couldn't be prouder to call her our daughter and her loss is something I don't think we will ever come to terms with…I'm sorry, I can't." Taking several breaths he stepped down as he walked to his seat he kept his eyes from falling on the coffin.
Kim was the last to speak, her stoic mask firmly in place as she stepped behind the podium, "When my mother died a few years ago, Alex told me of an Eskimo Proverb she has heard once and thought was a beautiful sentiment,
'Perhaps they are not the stars,
But rather openings in heaven where
The love of our lost ones pours through
And shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.'
The stars will shine brighter now that Alex's love has joined their ranks. She will be missed not only as a prosecutor, but as a daughter, a friend and as someone who dedicated their life to seeking justice for those wronged. I'm proud to call Alex my friend and I will try to live my life in the example she set."
Looking to her left Casey wasn't surprised to find Alex had disappeared. As she bowed her head in silent contemplation, she prayed for Alex's parents, for those Alex had touched as a person, a prosecutor and a friend. Lastly, she prayed for the blonde, asking that wherever she was she found the peace she deserved.
The wake was a quiet affair, groups of people sharing stories, the occasional moment of laughter rippling through the room. As she nurses a glass of wine and made small talk with the detectives from SVU, she felt a small tap on the shoulder.
"Mr. Cabot, I'm sorry for your loss, I know that doesn't mean a lot coming from me but...I'm sorry if I'm rambling."
"Thank you, Miss Novak. Please, walk with me?"
"Of course Sir." Putting her glass down she followed the man into the lightly falling drizzle shivering as her suit jacket offered little protection to the New York weather.
"I'm sure you're confused as to why I wanted to speak to you?" Giving a mall nod Casey let him continue, "I want you to promise me something and while it might seem unfair of me to ask, nothing about today is fair so..."
"Sir, please if there is anything I can do to help ease your pain even a little I will be more than happy to help."
"The bastard who killed my daughter, when they catch him promise me you'll make him pay?"
"I promise." Replied Casey aware of Alex's presence.
"Tell him…tell him I was proud to be his daughter, that I was a good person because of his example. Tell him I love him." Alex whispered, her voice nearly breaking as she spoke.
"Sir, I only met Alex once but she told me she was proud to be your daughter. She told me that she was the person she was because of you and your wife and the example you set for her."
"Thank you." Whispered Alexander his voice rough, "I should get back to my wife." Holding his hand out to Casey he added, "Thank you for coming today, Alex would have liked you."
Once she was alone Casey waited until Alex was next to her, "Guess he was wrong about you liking me."
"No, no he wasn't." Whispered Alex.
Before she could reply Casey realized she was alone. Collecting her purse she headed for home her sadness overwhelming her as she climbed into bed that night.
Casey spent all of Monday in court, walking into her office that afternoon Casey was looking forward to going home and having a hot bath. Walking in she flicked on the light and almost screamed out loud at the paper spread across the floor and the blonde sitting into the middle of the chaos.
"A-Alex?" Asked Casey quickly closing the door in case anyone walked by and saw the mess.
"I need to know who did this to me. I need to know who caused all this sadness."
"We're looking, I promise we will find them and make them pay."
"I watched my friends cry, my mother cry, hell even my father cried. Casey, my father cried! I've never seen him cry; not when his parents died, not when his brother died, not even when he broke his collar bone. Please you have to help me find out who did this to me."
"Tell me where to start." Replied Casey.
"Thank you." Replied Alex.
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