Warning: This fiction will eventually include strong violent scenes and is not for the faint of heart. I will detail further warnings as particular content is released.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything that links back to the J.K. Rowling Universe.
With the first Hogsmeade visit the next day, neither Hermione or Severus were able to get out of their assigned duties in order to start her 'lessons.' And of course, Harry, Ron and Hermione were too busy founding an underground resistance group against Professor Umbridge's reactionary teaching style, so perhaps it was better that teacher and student were otherwise occupied.
Yet, once official and unofficial duties were dispensed with, Hermione could be seen ensconced in the library, going back to the texts she had purchased when originally dabbling in Occlumency. She could remember clearly the day she realized what Legillimency felt like. It was back in her second year while she had been petrified, and very few people would have considered the possibility that she was cognizant the whole time.
Professor Dumbledore had used Legillimency to find out whether or not she was aware of her surroundings, and when he found a completely lucid thirteen year old witch near panic, he had assured her that she was safe and whatever it was that attacked her had only petrified her temporarily. She had forced images of her research to the forefront of her mind, desperate for the Headmaster to understand that she knew what the monster was.
He did.
What he had failed to understand, however, was Hermione's keen mind. When she had been released from the basilisk's curse and learned how her friends had descended to the bowels of the castle to face the large snake alone, she had balked. That was the moment Hermione began to question everything.
The first thing she did after going home that summer was beg her parents to let her buy more books. They acquiesced easily, and that's how she was able to learn about how Professor Dumbledore had accessed her mind. She read as much as possible on Legillimency and Occlumency that summer, and when she faced the headmaster that next year, she practiced the theories she had learned to keep her thoughts safe, marveling at how often she felt the gentle nudge of his mind entering hers.
At first, while she was learning, she had simply averted her eyes in order to avoid the mental attack. Yet, as Hermione grew bolder, she would allow him access, trying to display those images that were safe and innocuous. Unfortunately, the headmaster very rarely delved any deeper than her surface thoughts, so she was unable to practice keeping out an overt attacker.
That's where her extracurricular study came into good use during her time-turner days. She focused on meditation and began to construct a siege tower to protect her most daunting secrets. She laid traps and diversions in order to keep people from the siege tower, and she used much of her mental capacity to fortify her secrets so that even under the strongest attack she wouldn't crack.
Of course, Hermione had learned all this on her own, and since her first overt Legillimency attack had taken place on her 17th birthday, she felt the need to return to the texts that had originally guided her in order to make sure she knew how to teach someone else.
Should anyone ask, she was focusing on her pre-apprentice work, and her books were spelled to indicate as much.
And while intellectually Hermione knew she would not need to begin Harry's lessons for some time, as it was impossible to master Occlumency quickly enough to be able to teach it in such short order, she still read on, making absolutely sure she recalled all the salient details from her books.
"Miss Granger, I had thought you possessed more sense than what you are currently displaying," a silky voice purred from behind Hermione's chair.
Jumping in fright, Hermione twisted around in order to face her interlocutor. "Professor Snape, I don't understand?" she asked in a whiny voice that highlighted her confusion and fear.
"What is it you are presently studying, child?" he growled in response.
"Oh nothing major. I just thought I'd get a head start for my extra lessons, sir," she provided ably. "I'm reading Potion's Theory for the Authentic Potioneer."
"Come with me," Severus demanded.
Hermoine sighed to his retreating back and gathered her books before throwing herself into a run in order to keep up with her irritated tutor. Several minutes passed in silence with the exception of Hermione's pounding footsteps and shallow breathing, students neary throwing themselves to the side in order to avoid Professor Snape's wrath. When they finally made it to his office, Professor Snape threw open the door and slamed it behind Hermione, rounding on her with such disgust she wondered who pissed in his porridge that morning.
"Care to explain why you have those books, Miss Granger?" he hissed, rage just below the boiling point.
"I bought them sir, but I don't see-"
"Miss Granger, anyone could have seen you with those texts!" Severus barked angrily, outraged that she of all people would expose herself in such a way.
"I charmed those books to appear as potions texts, sir, with you as the exception so we could discuss quesitons I may have once I begin to teach Harry," she explained earnestly, not appreciating his misplaced ire.
"Charms can be broken," Severus retorted savagely.
"Not mine, sir. Here," she pulled out her journal as she spoke, "Try and determine what book this really is." She handed him the charmed item, Hogwarts: A History emblazoned across the cover.
Severus snatched the book from her and placed it on his desk, brandishing his wand violently, muttering revealing charms and other incantations to determine what protections she had placed on the book.
"There are no charms that I can detect on this item. Miss Granger, if this is a joke..."
"It's not," and she proceeded to cut open her left thumb and press it to the binding of the book, muttering something under her breath before it revealed its true nature. "It's my journal, not something that could incriminate me, mind, but it is personal. This keeps prying eyes from suspecting there are any enchantments on the book."
"But how, I didn't even detect any blood charms?" Severus asked, narrowing his eyes at the impertinent chit.
Hermione rolled her eyes, huffing in irritation. "That's because it's warded, with my blood and Runes woven into the password that I must say before it will reveal itself to anyone besides me. Now, I'm no expert at warding, but I've read enough that it allows me to protect that which must remain hidden. The Occlumency and Legillimency books are protected by similar wards, and since I didn't fancy slicing open my skin in order to show them to you later, I kept you in mind during their enchantment." She stuffed the book back into her satchel, angry for reasons she couldn't place.
"I see, and are there any other surprises you'd like to share with me so I don't jumpt to conclusions again?" Severus muttered almost petulantly.
"No, well at least there's nothing that I can think of at the moment." She smiled bitterly, keeping her voice subdued. "Just be aware that if you can see something of mine that is normally considered restricted, I've allowed you to see it."
He studied her for a moment, clearly deliberating something before he spoke. "Answer me this, why did you learn Occlumency?"
"May I?" Hermione indicated the chair normally meant for recalcitrant children. At his nod, she sat down, using the time her question allowed to collect her thoughts.
She spent the next few minutes describing her experience with Legillimency during her second year, and the violation she felt when the Headmaster didn't even use the information she supplied him. Severus eventually found his own seat behind his desk, and considered her words.
"So you took the time to fortify your mind against his intrusion, but that still doesn't explain the experience I had when accessing your mind last month," Severus pressed. "Why go through such lengths? What secrets are worth that much effort to protect?"
"It doesn't matter what secrets-"
"Let me be the judge of that," Severus cut in fiercely.
"It has nothing to do with school, the war, you, or Harry. So no, it does not matter to this discussion." Hermione's eyes flashed dangerously, and Severus wondered, not for the first time, who exactly he was dealing with. But instead of heading her advise, he continued to demand answers.
"At least explain why it felt as if I were trapped in your mind, like I was drowning somehow." He had not been able to shake the feelings from that experience for some time. It was mildly disconcerting that there was something this young woman could do that he was unaware of.
"You were drowning, sir. I used that last thread of memories to spring a trap that would have allowed me to attack you offensively should I have desired to do so." At his furrowed brow, Hermione continued. "Think of it as quick sand. Once you found yourself stuck, you tried to work to get out, but the memories only pulled you in further. Eventually you would have lost your mind."
"That's impossible!" he barked, almost as if he were trying to convince himself of the validity of his invective.
"Not impossible, but it would have become exceedingly difficult for me to keep you wound up in those memories. The bloody nose was a result of the effort I excerted to keep you there even for the few seconds you were trapped."
"You wanted to drive me insane?" he asked disbelievingly.
"No, but I wanted to see if my theory would work. It does."
"To what end?" Severus demanded harshly, his anger at her antics forcing him out of his chair in order to tower over the girl.
She looked up at his face, keeping her expression carefully blank in order to demonstrate once more that his intimidation tactics held no sway over her. She then spoke softly in answer. "Protection, in case I'm ever captured. I could prevent my interrogator from killing me if I force them to lose their sanity. It may give me an advantage, that's all." Looking away, she continued. "It was something I thought of last year, when Harry's scar began to hurt him. Harry was so helpless, and it was driving him insane. I just...twisted what You-Know-Who...Tom was doing to Harry and made it an offensive measure in case I needed to defend myself."
Severus pulled himself up, still slightly hunched over as he pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing as if in pain. "Children should not be forced to think like warriors," he muttered just loud enough for Hermione to hear. Instead of answering, she sat there silently, not acting as if she were insulted by his words. She was, after all, a child when she began this path.
Still not looking at Hermione, Severus slumped into his chair and waved his hand dismissively. "You may go, Miss Granger." Noting his sudden exhaustion, Hermione quietly picked up her bag and headed for the office door.
Turning over her shoulder, Hermione steeled herself as she said, "For what it's worth Professor, I think you're absolutely right," and then she was gone.
A/N: I hope as we proceed that you all begin to understand the 'how' when processing Hermione's personality and ability level here. Maybe it is presumptuous, but if Hermione were to gain a whole year of time to assimilate information to her heart's content, I believe she'd use her time and energy wisely, learning and practicing as much as possible.
I enjoy the thoughtful criticism because it makes me see Hermione from your perspective. So if something seems out of line, let me know. I want you all to be able to 'suspend disbelief' as it were, but I also want Hermione and Severus to be real, not super humans.
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