Chapter 4
Valda Schutzstab was a much happier child now that she was writing to Adelard again, and getting long letters in reply. Adelard was scathing of the ministry and told Valda that he was considering applying for a post in Insurance Divination, because with the training he had received he would probably get a post as Insurance Assessor's assistant, not as high paid a job as some, but more interesting than chief lickspittle to a junior paper pusher. Valda actually managed to laugh over that. Adelard also wrote that he was considering a riskier alternative job, as a freelance diviner for Anwalten and Curse Breakers, as he had spoken to one Jaromir Frolich, a freelance curse breaker, who mentioned that a clue or two about a good course to take with some of the harder curses might be handy.
Valda wrote back that she hoped that Adelard would choose a job that would make him happy, but that he should consider that being poor was probably not going to be easy if the risky course was likely to leave him out of pocket, and potentially less likely to be employed for having tried it.
It may be said that this made Adelard determined to try the expedient of freelancing; because he could always do it on the side whilst keeping the safe and boring ministry job. It was the first time Adelard had ever gone out on a limb in his life, and if he felt a little guilty that it was against the advice of Valda, he reconciled himself with the thought that the poor kid had some rather bad values.
Had he been less cautious he would probably have gone to beat up the child's father as soon as he had that first letter from school from her, but instead he went to add deposition to Agata's report that she was abused, being the one to whom she owed the life debt. Being a pure-blooded wizard of good standing in a ministry job – it still all counted – gave Agata's report more credence, as he was not the 'weirdo blood-taint who used a questionable skill to peer at little girls' described by Valda's father.
Adelard was most put out by this description and served notice on Herr Schutztab that he would be happy to meet the fellow any time for such imputations, and that if Herr Schutzstab refused to duel, then the Loënzahn family Anwalt would be calling upon him in due course with regards to legal proceedings.
Schutzstab was a bully who despised divination, and assumed that Adelard was some kind of sissy little better than a squib. He accepted the invitation to duel. Adelard told Valda about it; her father did not bother.
Being Adelard, the duel was an official one, presided over by Vehmgerichten; and would duly be reported in the news, so Adelard did not want anything to come as a shock to Valda. Valda wrote back, a rather tear-stained note begging him to withdraw as her father knew a lot of curses. Adelard replied reassuringly that he hadn't worked with loonies like Zlatko Asimov for years without learning a few for himself, and that he would try not to kill her father. This show of self confidence reassured Valda. Her letter also infuriated Adelard, who suspected that some of the curses might have been used on her.
Nobody could accuse Adelard of brilliance or originality, but he had begun attending the ECC because it seemed to give advantages; and kept up some at least of the physical regimen, as he prided himself on his fitness and rather splendid body. Consequently as Schutzstab fired stinging hexes, the blasting curse, and the spell that was not quite the cruciatus curse used by the piece of statuary formerly known as the German duelling champion, he laughed at such minor corridor curses and held his shield. As Schutzstab paused for breath, Adelard went into action. He had trouble with wandless and wordless magic both together, but could handle either one, because his will was strong; and after binding, tickling and removing all of Herr Schutzstab's bogeys in the form of green bats that pointed and giggled, he cycled his opponent through as many odd creatures as he could recall Zlatko ever using, because he was a very solid transfigurationist. He left Schutzstab to face the count, still bound, still squirming, and dancing feebly from the ankles down in a partial transfiguration to a vulture, being the nastiest creature Adelard could think of.
When the count was up, he strolled off, leaving the vulture squawking that he had to undo the enchantment as the vulture planned to marry and could hardly sire a child with a cloaca.
Well, the goblin nurse who had so clumsily warned Valda had been correct, then. Adelard resolved to have his Anwalt find her and offer her more convivial employment. Adelard had no problem in preventing Herr Schutzstab from marrying some unfortunate girl and bringing any more nasty little racists into the world, and bust a gut on what chanting he had picked up, mostly since leaving school, to make the transfiguration permanent. It would take a curse breaker of Jaromir's calibre to undo THAT.
The partial Vulture was not going to be impaired in his daily life as he had hands and a mouth; the nose was a beak, and he had feathers all over, and he had a cloaca, which meant that there could be no comeback of preventing him permanently from performing magic, which would have been a sticky legal point. It was the responsibility of the seconds to undo their man, with the use of a professional cursebreaker if necessary. And the best cursebreaker in Germany was Adelard's second, his other second being his brother.
The papers had a field day, and Adelard was briefly famous enough to make it into 'Hochehexen' as the most handsome diviner in Germany. Because Adelard spoke freely about his grudge against Schutzstab, without going into details about the small service he had been able to do for the man's daughter, his fag while he was at school, he was briefly the darling of German house-witches for his kindness to small girls.
Valda kept the picture from 'Hochehexen', though she was, it may be said, a little jealous of all the female reporters who wanted to talk to him!
oOo
The sequel to the duel occurred when Herr Schutzstab had been unable to find a cursebreaker capable of breaking Adelard's iron will.
Valda was in history, which had been a fairly exciting lesson already, since the feral desk on fowl's legs had been rampaging in the corridor and the second years had scuttled into the classroom and were peering anxiously round the door, waiting for Frau Professor Weasley.
Harmony, ambushed by the desk, fell back on being English at it.
"Sit! Stay!" she commanded.
The desk, taken aback, subsided, rattling.
"Open up," ordered Harmony; and the desk sheepishly opened its lid to reveal a mass of disordered papers, ping pong balls and other debris thrown at the desk by those taunting it or trying to escape.
"Hmm, that can't be comfortable," said Harmony, banishing the lot to her room to sort later, since one set of papers appeared to be in the handwriting of little Dimitar Zhikov, who had been tearfully apologetic but cagey about why he couldn't hand in his essay. That was to be got to the bottom of later.
The desk shut again with a creak of relief.
"Follow me," said Harmony, and led the remarkably quiescent desk into the history room. The students stayed at a safe distance. "You may stay and listen, but if you do you must be quiet," said Harmony. "If you wish to leave at any point, go and stand by the door to be let out."
The desk hunkered down by the dais, and Harmony gave it a kindly pat.
The second years thought she was almost a goddess.
They gave her their full attention!
Their attention was rudely interrupted as Harmony was explaining the significance of the Gurg to Giantkind by the sudden appearance of a very small elf covered in horrible excrescences and screaming in pain right in front of Valda.
"Helps Wennie, please-please-please little mistress!" squealed the elf. Valda instinctively reached to pull the fungus away, and it started crawling onto her. She screamed in terror and pain.
"Stand back," said Harmony to the rest, and started using repelling spells on the fungi, driving them off both small girls, whilst giving a blood yell for some older Marauders.
She got Attila and Cacilia, Lazlo, the Eulenspeigel twins and the five in the lower sixth which had been the ones she had shouted for. Zyrillis and Lazlo started the ancient Egyptian chant that had saved Lilith, and the twins and Cacilia joined in while Attila and the other lower sixth burned those fungi crawling away, sent by Harmony's repelling spells. The feral desk came over to see what was happening and stepped back hastily as a questing tentacle reached for one of its fowls' legs.
It was not long before the awful lifeforms were gone, and the little elf healed, and Valda held her sobbing in her arms. Valda was sobbing too.
"Valda, my dear, that was well done. Crazy like a fox, but well done," said Harmony. "Take – Wennie, was it? – to the school nurse and you may stay with her, I'll let you off homework."
"I want Adelard," sobbed Valda.
"I'll see about getting him to come in," said Harmony. "Thank you, everyone. Now perhaps the class can resume, we have a good ten minutes before the bell, and you will want to take down your preparation essay titles and if you are quick you may also discuss how you plan to tackle the essay."
The second subsided totally. Frau Weasley was so very ENGLISH in her imperturbability.
Harmony was projecting imperturbability to stop herself being sick; this is what had happened to Lilith, probably happened to elves frequently. Something had to be done.
Eve was manhandled out by her fellows as she seemed to be in something of a daze.
"It's all right, Eve, all sorted," said Wencelada.
"No, you don't understand," said Eve. "I had a vision of it happening to someone else, and I think it may have been Aglaia!"
"Por Dios!" said Wencelada. "I would not wish that on anyone! But we cannot warn her until the next task… if it happens before then…. Eve, as you, too, are English, perhaps you can lay cards, and read tealeaves and have a better connection about her…"
Eve nodded. She loathed Aglaia Hallow, but would not wish that on anyone.
Except perhaps anyone named Dolokhov.
oOo
Cacilia had a free period and pulsed Harmony that she would see to having Adelard brought in.
As it happened, she did not have to, as he was arriving at the front door when she went to see Agata.
"What's happening?" he demanded.
"All under control now," said Cacilia. "She and little Wennie are in the sick bay; you know your way."
Adelard nodded thanks and took off up the stairs two at a time.
Valda was sitting on a bed with the little elf.
"ADELARD!" she cried, and launched herself into his arms.
Adelard soothed her.
"Tell me all about it," he said.
"Oh Adelard, Wennie turned up all covered in ….stuff, horrible stuff, and it crawled onto me, and it HURT, and then lots of people came and chanted and got rid of it and killed it," said Valda.
Adelard nodded.
"Marauders," he said. "They know things the rest of us can't even guess at. I believe it's from the place rubbish is banished to."
"But… but how did Wennie get there?" asked Valda.
Adelard put his hands on her shoulders.
"Some people send their elves there if they displease them, you know," he said. "Perhaps Wennie can tell us."
Valda nodded.
"Wennie, what happened?" she asked.
Wennie shuddered and started rocking.
"Wennie will have to go back home and be sent there again!" she squeaked. "Wennie will have to return to Master, and Wennie doesn't want to!" she started biting her fingers.
Adelard took her hands firmly away from her mouth.
"Some people reckon that sending an elf to the evanesco place constitutes freeing them, you know, so you don't have to return," he said. "You don't have to self punish, you know; some people broke the curse."
"Wennie is scared to be free!" said Wennie. "Wennie doesn't feel free, Wennie feels she must go back!"
"Wennie," said Adelard, "I am going to marry the little Mistress when she grows up; and if she gives you a sock, I will pay you to be her servant, and stay here with her, with livery like the school elves. Then you will feel safe, won't you?"
Wennie looked at Valda with big scared eyes.
Valda gasped.
"My father sent her there?" she asked.
"Apparently," said Adelard, "but you won't get any sense out of her until you arrange her to be free and promise to take care of her."
Valda had taken the advice Adelard had given her the previous year, and had talked to her elves, and explained the curse of the fey to them, in the hopes of freeing them one day. Being used and made helpless by owning slaves had infuriated her at first, but she had actually started to get to know her slaves and be kind to them, which was why Wennie had trusted her to put things right.
"Wennie, I will always look after you," said Valda, who had taken on board lessons of noblesse oblige from Adelard. "Now take this sock."
Wennie's ears went up.
"Wennie can work for Mistress Valda and not be shamed?" she squeaked. "Not never has to go back to Master?"
"That's right," said Valda. "And I don't want to go back to the Master either, and the headmistress is making me a ward of the school."
Wennie grabbed the sock and threw herself into Valda's arms, sobbing in relief.
"Now tell me how it happened," said Adelard, firmly, putting an arm around the little elf.
"Ooooh! Master came home from the third curse breaker and he was still feathery, and Wennie giggled, because he looked so funny, and he pointed his wand, and Wennie was in a bad place with nasties! And Wennie knew she could find her family blood and came to Mistress Valda because Mistress Valda knows about curses on elveses and would know what to do, and she did HELP Wennie!" said Wennie, worshipfully.
Valda wriggled.
"I didn't know what to do," she muttered. "It was others who saved you. And me."
"But Mistress Valda held Wennie, and tried to pull them things off!" said Wennie.
"Valda was very brave," said Adelard. "And it's fortunate that big people further up the school knew what to do. And you are both safe now, and I will have to see about getting some proper clothes for you."
"Shouldn't she have school uniform?" asked Valda.
"The Kaiserin would have forty fits," said Adelard. "Though she might not mind her sitting in your lessons and learning so long as it isn't official. And some of the staff would accept preparation from her if she wanted to, and she could take exams as an external student at the free school. That can be arranged."
"Wennie gets to learn lessons?" said the little elf.
"Don't see why not," said Adelard. "but let's not mention it except to Marauders; they'll help you cover for it."
"They have been quite nice to me," said Valda. "Actually, Ilarion said that I was less of a pain than Simone Fabrier, which for him was tact."
Adelard laughed.
"And you know it as well intentioned, which is good. You've learned a lot, Valda, and I'm so proud of you now."
Valda beamed.
"I didn't know how people got on without hurting other people before," she said.
"You poor kiddy," said Adelard. "Well, I suggest you might want to summon all your elves and let Wennie talk to them, and free them all. I'll hire them."
"Can you afford to?" asked Valda, anxiously.
Adelard shrugged.
"I have inheritance in my own right, even though I'm not the heir; I don't have to work, you know, but I choose to, because it's proper to do so. I can afford to hire some free elves."
"Oh, I am relieved," said Valda. "I don't think I could manage being poor when we get married."
"Well we shan't be, my good ass," said Adelard.
"When will the curse wear off my father?" asked Valda.
"When he dies, unless he gets an adequate curse-breaker first," said Adelard, grimly. "I did some digging, and he's got a bride lined up who is younger than I am, who has never met him, in order to get a son. Her family have called it off while he's feathery, and I'm going to make sure he is never un-feathered. Poor kid doesn't deserve to marry a man like that."
Valda paled.
"So nurse knew?" she asked.
"Yup," said Adelard. "I took her to safety, but I couldn't do anything about the elves. You can. Now, I'm about to tender my resignation to the Ministry, and I'm going to do it in the style of the Marauders by firing English puddings into the face of my boss from my wand, because I feel like it, and then I shall see to providing a home for your elves, who can work for me and help me build up a business as a diviner and finder. They can go places to help me with pure telesma to add to the rituals of finding and knowing. Though I might also take a year at Prince Peak to learn more; after I've pacified my father for abandoning the job he found me."
"Will he be very angry?" gasped Valda.
Adelard shrugged.
"He'll wax irritable, and when I've explained he'll give me a lecture on hastiness and profligacy, and then he'll help me sort out exactly what to do next," he said. "My father and I understand each other very well. And he was proud of me for the duel over my family name, and, what wasn't mentioned in the papers, for my girl."
Valda glowed. She was his girl! How nice it must be to have a father who understood one, and who would actually do something to help!
oOo
Agata was taken aback to see a confident Adelard telling her that she had a new pupil, who had to be a secret pupil.
"And if you want fees paid, I'll pay them," said Adelard. "Elf kid is a year or so older than Valda at most, she'll soon catch up if the Marauders help. She can be Valda's servant officially."
"We don't have servants here; just to stop some little monsters being young princelings at the rest," said Agata.
"There's precedent, however," said Adelard, who used the library quite as much as any Marauder, albeit with different ends in sight. "Where a pupil is an orphan and has feudal dependents it's permitted to have those servants at school with them rather than leave them with nothing to do. Our ancestors hated the idea of servants with nothing to do carousing in the family home while the master or mistress was at school," he added cynically.
"Possibly in some cases with good reason," said Agata. "Very well, she can just add the child to her dormitory and take her in to classes and if nothing is said about it, nothing need be said about it. I didn't hear anything and it's nothing to do with me."
"Thanks, Madam Bacso," said Adelard. "Wennie is most upset by being sent to that place, and I think being away from Valda would destroy her."
"Well, the girl has come on a long way that anyone should cling to her," said Agata. "Send the Defending Marauders to me on your way out, Adelard."
Adelard grinned and bowed to her as if he were still one of her sixth formers.
oOo
"We hadn't even done anything to Penka Giorgieva yet," said Nedelya, aggrieved, as they surveyed the Headmistress warily.
"Was there a reason that you were going to?" asked Agata.
"Yes," said Nedelya.
"Oh, no," said Daffodil.
"I think I believe the yes," said Agata. "What's she done now?"
"Threw Dimitar Zhikov's work into the feral desk," said Ilarion, deciding that as Nedelya had put her foot in it, prevarication was hopeless. "We were hoping to get it back, but I think Frau Weasley has it in hand."
"Ah, well, the English," said Agata. "I am sure she will manage. I did not call you in because you were in trouble, though I shall have to punish you if I HEAR of anything happening to Fraulein Giorgieva. It's about Valda."
Agata filled the children in on the need to keep Wennie close to Valda, and that she might as well learn at the same time, but of course it was not to be something that was generally known.
"We'll manage that," said Marlene, equably.
"Jolly clever of her to come here," said Xanthos. "We'll catch her up, and see that she knows which teachers will mark work and we'll get big ones to mark the work for anyone who won't."
"It's only Frau Kluba and Frau Junger," said Ilarion. "The rest wouldn't turn a hair if a crowd of goblins started, so long as they could do the work."
This, Agata had to admit, was probably true enough. She was impressed despite herself that Clovis' adopted son Radagas had gone to Prince Peak a year early and was, by Clovis' accounts holding his own. Fyra and Alrik, who had been taught by Jade and her friends were accounted some of the cleverest children of their age; and the elf Vya had performed very creditably in the Duelling Contest. Agata's prejudices had almost completely crumbled away, but she knew her parents would never accept non humans alongside pure and near pure blood children, and whilst those attitudes prevailed, it was better for HER to have the training of them, and the chance to change their outlook, than to have some racist pure bred school starting independently to Durmstrang.
She dismissed the Marauders.
"Idiot," said Ilarion to Nedelya.
"Sorry," said Nedelya, "but I say, did you notice that she only told us she didn't want to hear of anything happening to Penka? She didn't ban us from doing her over."
Ilarion brightened.
"So she didn't," he said. "Let's collect Valda and Wennie and let them in on the plotting to cheer them up. AND the first year lot."
oOo
Valda was rather flattered to be involved in a Marauder planning meeting, and Wennie kept her mouth shut and her big delicate ears open as she listened and learned that this was not about ganging up on another girl for no reason, but to punish someone who had picked on a smaller child.
Ivaylo, Klarizsa and Magda were also flattered to be included, though Klarizsa did say tentatively that punishing Penka ought to be the province of the first.
"You're a bit thin on numbers, so we thought we'd combine with you," said Ilarion. "Had you any ideas?"
"No," admitted Klarizsa.
"If she thinks it's acceptable to take prep and do something close to destroying it, maybe we should burn all her prep," said Valda.
There was a shocked silence.
"It doesn't work like that," said Marlene, gently. "Just because some git thinks something is fine, doesn't mean decent folk stoop to it; like sending people to the evanesco place."
Valda went red.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"You didn't know," said Marlene.
There was an interruption as Simone Fabrier walked in on them.
"You are having a meeting and have invited non-marauders but not me. Or Renate," she added hastily, her lip quivering.
"Didn't think you'd much enjoy plotting how to get back at Penka for bullying the babes," said Daffodil.
"But yes I should; Oh how I should!" said Simone. "She calls me cry-baby and she nips me!"
"WELL!" said Daffodil. "You should have told us sooner; but you've told us now, so sit right down and plot."
"Oh YES m- Daffodil!" said Simone happily, almost reverting to the use of the possessive pronoun. "Has she also hurt the little elf?"
"Nope, but she would if she could, this is Wennie, and if you can keep your mouth shut about it, we're going to see she gets an education alongside us," said Daffodil.
"Oh, how splendid! I will help all I can!" said Simone, who fortunately did not hear Xanthos muttering to Ilarion that Simone's best help would be to not explain anything.
"Now Frau Weasley has tamed the feral desk do you think we could persuade it to be set on Penka?" asked Nedelya.
"It doesn't like us," said Ilarion.
"We could try apologising," said Valda, brightly. She had discovered this was a way to get people to like you if you had offended them.
"Actually, that's rather profound," said Ilarion.
They ran down to the history classroom where the desk was still brooding. It snapped a bit as they came in.
"I say, desk," said Ilarion, "We've disrespected you because we didn't know you had a consciousness. And we're sorry if it upset you. We'd like to ask a favour."
Somehow the desk managed to tilt itself to look interested.
"One of the bits of stuff thrown in you was by a girl who looks like this," said Xanthos, producing an illusion from his wand, "to hurt a little boy. We don't like people who hurt others, and we wouldn't have hurt you if we knew you were a people not just a thing."
"Can it understand concepts that subtle?" asked Daffodil. The desk snarled at her. "Ooer, sorry, apparently so," said Daffodil.
The desk rocked up and down a couple of times, emitted a creak that sounded almost like a laugh, and headed out of the door.
"Did we offend it?" asked Nedelya, anxiously.
"I don't know," said Daffodil.
"Well, we had better hop to Kaffee und Kuchen and start formulating contingency plans, or the Kaiserin will be most waxy," said Ilarion.
They dispersed to the dining hall, and discovered that far from being offended, the desk had caught their meaning very well as it pursued Penka Giorgieva to her table, snapping at her robes as she ran. It stationed itself in the doorway, obviously planning on waiting for her to come out.
Ilarion whooped.
"WONDERFUL desk!" he said, daring to pat it as Harmony had. The desk leaned into the patting. Ilarion, greatly daring, hugged it.
None of the other pupils got away without being snapped at a little, only the Defending Marauders and the children they had brought with them to apologise; but then, as Ilarion said, having a feral desk in the school was more interesting than having one that was tame all the while.
Harmony raised an eyebrow. Apparently the kids had learned something from her firm, courteous handling of the desk.
She had an announcement to make after eating.
"It has come to my notice," she said, "That the notes of several first years in a selection of subjects have been thrown into the feral desk. Now, I have reason to believe that the same person did the throwing in each case, though I may be wrong. And I'm going to ask the desk to stand behind the chair of each and all culprits in turn," she added.
"Does it understand so much?" asked Agata, startled.
"Apparently," said Harmony, dryly, as the desk trundled off and came to rest behind Penka's chair.
"No others? asked Agata. The desk shook its body.
"Very well, Fraulein Giorgieva, I will see you in my study, immediately after the bell," said Harmony.
"You aren't taking the antics of that lousy desk as an accusation are you?" demanded Penka. "Surely even the English aren't that stupid?"
"Well apart from answering some questions later, which may lead to more trouble for you, you will be doing a detention for me, writing out one hundred times, "The English are stupid enough to kill arrogant dark wizards to save everyone else," said Harmony. "And by the way, I am related now to Viktor Krumm through marriage, as I am the ward of his wife's father, so you will be doing a second detention writing one hundred more lines of "I have often regretting having spoken but never regretted remaining silent," since I am quite capable of understanding the filthy things you are saying in Bulgarian, or in your case, with an English pun, Vulgarian."
The Marauders applauded the word play.
Harmony had very little idea of the precise nature of the words but as Ilarion, Nedelya and Idaylo had all winced it was easy to guess their nature.
Being related to Viktor Krumm, even in a secondhand sort of way did no harm to Harmony's kudos.
Penka had a very uncomfortable interview with Harmony, Attila, Cacilia and Agalisse Schreiber, all of whose work was found in the desk. Shortly thereafter, Penka was finding her spare time cut short by a series of detentions for wantonly interfering with the staff by stealing and disposing of the work of the youngest in the year; that it might be interfering with the staff and bring their ire onto her head had not occurred to her! Those involved were happy to take turns at sitting detentions with her, and Harmony moreover asked the feral desk to prevent her from leaving the classroom in the case of there being no adult supervision.
It may be said that those who had befriended the feral desk joined Harmony over the weekend – the losing of which made her husband groan in resignation more than disbelief – to give the feral desk a good waxing and polishing, and to buff down and paint its metal legs. The desk thought a great deal of itself after this and pursued a visiting prospective parent all the way from the castle to the village.