Disclaimer: Hino-sensei still owns Vampire Knight.

Chapter 4: Death Takes the Wheel

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That's it. Tonight, I'm driving. Rin was eying yet another questionably sanitary piece of furniture, and if her twitching temple and clenched fists were any indication, she was not happy about it. The wall had good reason to fear for its continued existence as one piece at that moment.

After at least a good hour of Zero insisting that they were not lost, the dynamic duo had hit the next town. Zero continued repeating his delusional assessment of the situation all the way to the local rundown motel where they settled in for another day of sleep.

This time, as soon as Zero was out for the count, Rin was taking the keys and his wallet. After all the trouble she went through to insure that he had a restful day, giving him the bed while she took the couch and all that, he had better get to sleep quickly…or else. It wasn't as though Rin had a problem with knocking people unconscious.

"Headmaster, what are you doing here?" Kaname strode towards the open Night Dorm doors and the man standing there, clad in full hunter gear complete with all the sharp, dangerous trimmings. "I know you used to be a capable hunter, but this is going to be a fight between high level vampires. I cannot guarantee that anyone will survive."

Kurosu leveled a resolute frown at the pureblood. "You don't really think I'll leave my son and daughter to face this alone, do you?"

What was the point of being an almost-immortal pureblood if no one ever listened to you. Kaname heaved a giant sigh. "As much as I respect your relationship with Yuuki, neither one of us are related to you by blood, and you will be in too much danger if you stay, magical prowess notwithstanding."

His face softening into an easy smile, Kurosu replied, "Blood has nothing to do with family." His eyes regained their typical impish glint. "Besides, I was talking about Yuuki and Zero."

Kaname's eyebrow twitched so rapidly, to the untrained eye, he appeared to be having some sort of convulsive attack.

"Uggh," Zero groaned.

He raised a hand to shield his eyes from the unexpected, blinding light. Squinting against the glare, he saw Rin leaning against the wall, encased in shadow, the curtain string dangling from her fingers. Just because he didn't burn as easily in the sunlight was no reason to deliver such a rude wakeup call. And why did this good for nothing cardboard rat hole have its windows facing full west?!

"Let's go, Sleeping Beauty," Rin chuckled.

She's like a polar mix of Kuran and Ichijou. Sometimes I swear she's too bright and perky to be a vampire, and others, she's a cold-hearted killing machine. Zero pitied anyone stupid enough to spend eternity with her if she survived tonight, and nothing would take her down unless she gave it permission. Moments like this almost made him glad to be running towards his own death.

He growled menacingly but got out of bed and threw on his jacket nonetheless. After days of traveling, it was wrinkled beyond an iron's touch, but blood would cover the deep creases before night's end. Ready to head out, he reached into his coat pocket for the keys. Oh no.

"Hurry up or I'll leave without you," Rin said, swinging the keys around her finger as she waltzed out the door.

Give me a death match with a host of purebloods or an afternoon of dealing with the headmaster! At least I'd have a chance of living through those. Zero offered up a silent prayer, begging God to get him to the school in one piece- and let him kill the last two purebloods- before taking him from this world. There was a reason Zero never let Rin drive.

Ichijou yawned. "Headmaster, you should come inside. The sun's setting."

"Just one moment, I'm almost done." Kurosu said from his semi-recumbent posture on the ground in front of the dorm steps.

Aidou poked his head through the open doorway and sniffed the air once before stepping out and taking a seat on the marble stairway. "What are you doing? You've been crawling in the dirt all day."

"I thought it was obvious. Now just a second," Kurosu muttered.

Aidou stared incredulously at the pink and white cylinders in the hunter's hands. "Headmaster, what are you doing with that chal-?!"

"And done!" Kurosu shouted.

Ichijou stared at the odd markings on the earth but couldn't make out much in the dark, even with his heightened vampire sight. "What is it?"

The rest of the Night Class, somewhat more awake than before, trickled out onto the top landing and peered down at the headmaster's handiwork.

"I finally got the lines on my squares straight enough!" Kurosu yelled in triumph. "When Zero and Yoru-san get here, we can ask them to play hopscotch!"

Author's Note:

I apologize profusely. This is the shortest chapter I have ever posted, and I can't say sorry enough times to appease myself, much less you wonderful readers. The bad news is: homework is currently swamping me and shows no sign of letting up.

The good/bad news: there is only one more chapter to go! As of now, it should be out in the usual two weeks, but I guess I'll post on my profile if anything changes, so feel free to check in there/yell at me for forgetting.

I really should do some fanart for this story...humor like this needs visual aids. Ah well, it's on my to-do list, right after homework, eating, making fanart for Lanse's story "Ikigai," and picking people up from the airport.

Thanks again to everyone who has continued reading this, especially the lovely people who leave me wonderful reviews, and I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks!