Chapter 4

That night we all sat on the floor around the tree, a pile of gifts in front of us.

"Can't we open them tonight, Onechan?" Jinpei begged. "Please?"

Jinpei knew I was a big proponent of waiting until Christmas morning to open gifts, and every year we had the same discussion. But this year, I found myself wanting to give in.

"Okay." I agreed. "Just this one time."

"Thanks, Onechan!" Jinpei cried, throwing his arms around my neck for a brief second before attacking the pile.

"Wait…" I protested, laughing at his eagerness. "Before you go there, I have some special gifts for everyone."

"You do?" Jinpei was obviously surprised. Ken and Ryu appeared taken aback as well.

"You didn't get anything at the store yesterday." Ken reminded me.

"I know." I replied. "But these are special."

I retrieved three wrapped presents from behind the bar, then returned to my place in front of the tree.

Carefully, I took out the smallest box and handed it to Ryu.

"Merry Christmas, Ryu." I said, handing it to him.

Ryu looked at me curiously, then grinned and opened the gift with relish. He pulled the wrapping aside to reveal a pair of gloves.

"Gloves…" he said, slightly confused. "Driving gloves…"

"They were Joe's." I explained. "His 'lucky' gloves…"

Comprehension dawned on Ryu's face.

"I know you've been enjoying that new car of yours." I said quietly. "I thought, that if you wore these, every time you got into it, you could remember the person who taught you how to drive."

"Thank you." Ryu said, as he wiped at his eye.

"You're welcome, Ryu." I whispered, hugging him close. I was immediately enveloped in a bear hug, and it was some moments before Ryu had composed himself enough to let go.

"What about me, Onechan?" Jinpei asked hopefully, looking at the two remaining boxes.

"Of course, I have one for you." I laughed, giving Jinpei the next smallest box.

I think Jinpei broke the land speed record for present unwrapping with this one, tearing the paper so fast that if I had blinked, I would have missed it. He tore open the box to reveal the gift inside.

"An electric shaver!" he said in awe. "Onechan…"

"You're growing up, Jinpei." I smiled, feeling a tear prick my eye. "Before you know it, you'll be needing one of these."

"This belonged to Joe too, didn't it?" Jinpei asked, with uncharacteristic insight.

"Yes." I nodded. "I thought that if… when you used it, you could remember what it really means to be a man."

"I will, Onechan." Jinpei promised, nodding solemnly.

He embraced me, and for a moment I buried my face in my little brother's hair, awed and a little frightened by how much he had grown. He wouldn't be my 'little brother' for much longer.

"And I gather that one is something of Joe's as well?" Ken asked, a small smile on his face as he pointed at the last box.

"In fact, it is." I smiled. "And it's for you, Ken."

Ken reverently opened the paper, to reveal a box of socket wrenches.

"I knew that you could put these to good use." I explained. "And I thought that… wherever he was… Joe would be glad to know that his best friend… his brother… was using them."

"I can definitely use these." Ken agreed. "It seems like I'm working on my plane almost every day."

He pulled me close, and my breath was taken away by the rush of emotion that coursed through my body. Twenty four hours ago, I would have moved away from Ken, but now, I simply enjoyed being close to him, as we remembered our friend, together.

"What about you, Onechan?" Jinpei asked, as Ken and I pulled apart. "Do you have something of Joe's?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." I smiled softly, thinking of Joe's blanket that was now covering my bed. "Something that is special to me."

"It almost feels like Joe is here, with us, right now." Ryu observed.

"That's how I feel too, Ryu." I said, taking his hand and grasping it warmly.

"He will always be with us." Ken stated.

He had perfectly expressed what was in my heart, at that moment.

88888

Some time later, Jinpei and Ryu had run off to play with Jinpei's new 'toys', and Ken and I remained in the Snack. We were sitting in one of the booths, with all of the lights turned off, save for the ones on our Christmas tree. Ken had his arm draped across the back of the booth, and I was leaning against him, my head on his shoulder.

"It's so beautiful…" I murmured, gazing at the flickering lights on the tree.

"Just like you." whispered Ken in my ear.

I turned slightly, startled by what he had said. Ken was never this forward. What had gotten into him?

But he was smiling gently at me, and the sense of unease I had felt for a moment slipped away.

"Thank you for the sweater." I said, pulling the forest green cardigan a little more snugly around me. It was soft and lovely… something I would never have expected Ken to pick out. And yet, it had been his Christmas present to me.

"It's the same color as your eyes." Ken observed. "It's perfect on you."

"What's going on, Ken?" I asked. "You're in a strange mood."

"Perhaps I'm just seeing what I've been missing, all of these years." Ken sighed. "The war with Galactor was my complete focus for so long, and I have made a habit of pushing people away."

He placed his hands on my shoulders, turning my body slightly to face him.

"Now the war is over, and the Earth is at peace." he said. "And after our conversation earlier tonight, I finally feel at peace too. I feel… I feel like there's nothing between us, anymore."

"That's how I feel too, Ken." I replied. "This is the first time I've felt at peace with myself, since… since Joe died."

I couldn't help it. Simply saying the words brought a stinging wetness to my eye. I tried to brush it away with the back of my hand.

"Don't cry, Jun." Ken said, tracing the line of my cheek with his fingertips. "I think Joe would be happy, to know that we've come to an acceptance of this."

"You're right, Ken." I replied, taking a deep breath and attempting to pull myself together. "Joe wanted us to be happy."

Too late, I realized what I had just said. I hadn't actually been meaning to refer to what Joe had told me at Cross Karokorum, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew that was what we were both thinking about.

"I am happy, Jun," Ken said leaning down to brush his lips against my forehead, "because I'm with you."

Gently, he pulled my face up to his, and kissed me.

How many years had I wanted Ken to do exactly this? How many nights had I dreamed of our first kiss, especially in such a peaceful and romantic setting?

I kissed Ken back, and he deepened the contact between us. I let him lead me, taking me where he wanted to go: I was merely following along.

Because even though I was kissing Ken, someone else was uppermost in my mind.

Ken broke the kiss, embracing me closely.

"Merry Christmas, Jun." he breathed in my ear.

But as I sat there, in Ken's arms, all I could think of was last Christmas, when I had been with Joe.