I looked across the pet store concluding that this place was just plain dull. I needed a dog sure but part of me just really wanted to be out of here and to get on with my diabolical scheme with…Perry? I stared at the teal green platypus. It was wearing a pair of ears and a dog tail covering his tangerine beaver one. Who was he trying to fool? …oh yeah, me. Well it wasn't working very well.
Then an idea hit me. Think of all the advantages of this. My eyes sparkled and I put on my best act, getting the boring woman's attention.
"ooh what about him?" I ran over picking Perry up almost shaking in excitement. The only contact we had ever had was when we were exchanging blows. This seemed more…personal.
"Aww he's perfect! oh yes! Cootchee cootchee coo! You are Dr D's precious little puppy aren't you?" I held him tighter feeling his fur run between my fingers. My knees almost knocked together from the sensation.
"Sir I'm not even sure that's a dog."
I thought fast. No way was she taking this away from me!
"Oh don't try to wheel a deal with me! I get a big alimony cheque every month so moneys no object!" I replied sharply trying to sound as aloof as possible.
The woman's face brightened (probably for the first time in a while)
"Oh! Well in that case he's $10'000"
It was a small price to pay (well I say small) but it was so worth it.
"You cootchey cootchey! You are my little cootchey cootchey!" I nuzzled him close, his beak and mine rubbing eachother in an almost Eskimo kiss. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world.