~~~!~~~

FOUR STAR

Deidara sipped at this coffee as the midafternoon light filtered through the kitchen window. He winced.

After the initial surprise of waking up next to Sasori faded, he began to feel the onset of a nasty hangover that was a little more ferocious than the pounding head he woke up with. He was not the only one.

Across the table, the Sasori cradled his head while the steam of his own coffee wafted up into his face.

After Deidara's overreaction, Sasori pointed out that there was no way they had sex. After all, they were both wearing clothing, and what kind of drunk person puts on their clothes after a less than sober romp in the sheets?

'of course, he had to hit me with the logical explanation…' Deidara thought.

It was awfully nice of Sasori to treat Deidara like an actual guest and not shoo him away like some unwanted peasant. When Sasori asked him if he wanted coffee, the blonde found himself unable to decline. He chalked it up to the need for caffeine, and not the want to spend more time with the redhead.

Deidara began to speak, "Well thanks fo-" before he was cut off by harsh shushing sound. Sasori had his index finger up to his pursed lips, and he pointed to his head.

The blonde rolled his eyes, there's the rudeness he was expecting. He downed the coffee Sasori had so politely served him, gathered his things, and walked out the front door.

No more than 30 seconds after Deidara left did Sasori fall asleep at his kitchen table.

….

Later that day, Deidara woke up for the second time. This time he was in his own bed. He felt a little better, sleeping always helped him when he had a bad hangover. On the walk home, he picked up some Pedialyte from the drug store, and drank half of it before he fell asleep.

The blonde lifted his upper body and reached for the half empty Pedialyte on his nightstand and chugged the rest of it. His stomach contested, but he managed to keep the weird tasting liquid down. He sat up and tried to remember the events of last night.

He couldn't deny his attraction to Sasori. As annoying as it was to admit to himself, he was not the kind of person to deny feelings. It was nothing more than lust though, Sasori was mean. Just because he helped him home from the bar last night, and made him coffee in the morning, doesn't mean it excused all of his previous actions. He has had crushes before. This was nothing. Right?

Semi-satisfied with his musings, he checked his phone for the time, but it was dead. He rolled over to plug his phone in. After waiting for a while, it finally turned on, and he was hit with a barrage of notifications.

Hidan 1:45 am

Did you make it into Sasori's bed yet?

Itachi 1:46 am

Did you make it home?

Hidan 1:47 am

Does the carpet match the drapes lol?

Itachi 1:50 am

Pein will kill me if you die.

Hidan 1:50 am

Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kisame 1:55 am

GET IT FUCK BOIIIIIIIII

Konan 1:55 am

Where did you go?

Hidan 2:14 am

Fucking bitch

Deidara sighed in exasperation, this is exactly how workplace rumors got started. Luckily he didn't have to go to work today, but he knew that Sasori works the dinner shift on Sundays. He searched through his phone contacts to text the redhead, only to realize he didn't have his number. He chuckled. Of course he didn't have his contact information… Now how was he supposed to warn him?

Frustrated, he shot up out of bed in search for a towel. Showers always helped him relax. He walked into the bathroom and started to undress. He turned the shower on and stepped under the steaming hot stream of water. The blonde put his hands on the wall, leaned forward, and sighed.

Thoughts of Sasori lulled around in his head. He hated it. No matter how logical or impersonal he tried to be about the situation, he just couldn't tear his thoughts away. It was like 2nd grade all over again. If Sasori was mean to him, it must mean he likes him?

'maybe I should just fuck him and get this dumb crush over with' Deidara thought internally.

And then what, become the workplace slut? Fit into the stereotype? Confirm all the less than nice thoughts everybody has had of you? He sighed. For now, there was only one way to solve his sexual frustrations surrounding his redheaded coworker.

Deidara took one hand off from the wall and onto his manhood. It was already halfway hard, and he had no problem getting a full-on erection. Thoughts of Sasori enveloped his mind. How would he fuck? Probably rough. Deidara imagined Sasori as he stroked himself.

How would he touch me? by grabbing onto my hips…hard. Deidara imagined the redhead plunging his length into him. What sounds would he make…Would he grunt, or moan? Would he say things in my ear?

Deidara began to stroke himself faster at the thought of Sasori's breath on his neck as he took him from behind. Would he stroke my cock as he fucked me, or would he make me do it myself so he could watch?

The hot water rolled off Deidara's back as he pleasured himself, His sun-kissed skin turning a shade of pink from the heat. Sasori dominated his thoughts as the he groaned and reached his climax.

After calming down a little bit, he laughed. He has really got to deal with this.

~~~!~~~

Kisame snickered as Sasori entered the door. He leaned over Hidan to gossip

"Sunglasses, Iced coffee, messy hair… That's the hungover look if I've ever seen it."

Hidan scoffed "You mean the 'definitely laid but regretting it' look" he cackled while mincing fresh vegetables

Just as Kisame started to laugh, Sasori slammed his coffee onto the stainless-steel prep table. He grabbed the knife right out of Hidan's hand and pointed it at him.

"If I hear you say that I fucked Deidara one more time, this knife will find itself lodged in your dick"

Hidan laughed "Listen bitch boy, you ain't the first nor the last motherfucker to stick your willie into one of the waitstaff"

The redheaded chef threw Hidan's knife on the floor and kicked it under the table. "It didn't happen. Have fun getting that back" The redhead retorted and walked away.

Hidan whined. "That was expensive!" He yelled, only to be met with a middle finger. "What a sensitive prick…" Hidan mumbled to himself as he got on his knees to retrieve his knife. Meanwhile, Kisame was trying not to burst into a fit of laughter.

Konan saw Sasori walk out of the kitchen and followed him into the servers' station. "Hey Sasori, are we doing the same specials as yesterday?" Konan asked. She was met with a grunt and a nod.

"Where did you guys go last night?" she asked

"Our moral compass Itachi made Deidara and I share a cab. He passed out so I had to drag him inside my house. The cab driver made a big stink and wouldn't let me leave him in there."

"Well, that was nice of you, I guess" Konan replied. She was met with another grunt and nod.

Konan rolled her eyes and walked behind the bar. "Listen… I can't stand working with you like this all night, so I'm making you a little hair of the dog to pep you up."

Sasori almost vomited in his mouth at the mention of more alcohol. "Listen, I appreciate the-"

Konan cut him off "no buts, drink it, you'll feel better… at least until the end of the night. You and everybody who has to work with you will thank me."

Sasori swallowed with disgust and took the drink Konan made for him. It as a Bloody Mary. Gross. Not wanting to hear her complaints any further, he took the straw out and began to chug. His throat burned, this was definitely mostly vodka.

A few minutes after walking into the kitchen, Sasori could definitely feel a buzz. Konan was right, it did make him feel a lot better. At least he felt like he could deal with the ridicule of every one of his coworkers now.

Throughout the dinner rush, Sasori was in a daze, and not because he was buzzed. The blonde that annoyed him so much kept infiltrating his thoughts. He found it extremely difficult to concentrate, and it was frustrating him. How is…that character… worthy of his thoughts?

He couldn't stop thinking about what he would do to him if they were alone again. If Deidara were willing.

'of course we would be willing… Harlot' Sasori thought internally.

How would his skin feel under my fingertips? Would he squirm under my touch, my gaze? He continued to imagine how it would feel to dominate the blonde.

Sasori sighed.

Was Deidara thinking of him too?

~~~!~~~

We always somewhere, but we in here.

Let me know what you think after my... 5 year hiatus.

-Offcolor