Thanks for the Memories
Chapter 4
I don't know how long I sat there on the floor crying and I didn't care. Penelo was gone and getting her back was the only thing that mattered to me. Screw being manly.
Right then, though, I was far too exhausted to go look for her. Instead, I went to the bed and collapsed. My hands pulled Penelo's pillow to me. I held it as I would have held her. I nearly started crying again when I realized that her scent was ingrained into the pillow. Eventually, I fell into a fitful sleep, having strange dreams about me finally discovering Penelo, only to find out that she had twelve children, none of them mine.
I awoke more than twenty-four hours later, all strange dreams forgotten. I wished that I could have forgotten everything, but the weight of everything that had transpired hit me like an anvil falling from the sky the second I opened my eyes.
The only thing I could think to do was to go to the palace and ask Ashe if she knew where Penelo was. Hell, she might have even been there, I thought. I just had to get her back, convince her that I love her, need her to survive.
Twenty minutes later, I was in one of the castle's many studies, waiting for Ashe to come see me. The second she entered the room, I stood, bombarding her with questions. "Have you seen Penelo? Is she here? Do you know where she is?"
Over the past few years, Ashe and Penelo had become very good friends, Penelo going to the castle to visit quite often. As far as I knew, Penelo considered Ashe to be her best girl friend.
"Is she missing?" Ashe asked, her voice full of concern.
Not able to speak, I gave her the note Penelo had left. She read it over quickly. "Oh, Vaan, I'm so sorry."
I cleared my throat, asking, "You haven't seen her, have you?"
"I haven't see her, but-"
"But what?" I asked eagerly.
"Well, Balthier and Fran came to visit me a few days ago. They might still be in town."
My heart sank. "So Penelo's in Archades?"
"I didn't say that. She might not be," Ashe added quickly.
"But you think she is," I stated.
She breathed deeply and replied, "Yes, I do think she went with them to Archades."
My heart sank, if possible, even lower. If Penelo wanted to run, Archades was about as far as you could go and still be in Ivalice.
To be on the safe side, I paid a visit to the airfield, discovering that the Strahl had left the day before. I talked to everyone I could think of, but no one had seen Penelo. I even checked every hotel in Rabanastre but she wasn't checked in to any of them, at least under her own name.
Resigned that Penelo never wanted to see me again, I got on the Dancer and took off, not sure where exactly I was going.
It was so good to see Basch and Larsa again, as I hadn't seen them since my wedding. Two years was a lot of time to catch up on. But then again, that was how I spent much of my time in Archades, visiting my friends. I think they sensed how lonely I was because they never said a word about my frequent visits.
Sometimes Balthier and Fran went away on business. They always asked me to accompany them, but I always declined. I was in the way enough and didn't want to by anymore so than I already was.
When I wasn't visiting friends, I was wandering the streets of Archades, shopping and sightseeing. That only lasted for a few days before it got boring. At the end of the first week, I joined a hunt club, slaying bothersome monsters for pay. I didn't need the money so I always donated it to the orphanages. In knew personally how it felt to be suddenly without parents.
I won't deny that I missed Vaan. I missed him a great deal, more than I cared to even admit to myself, especially at night. Or when I was out on a hunt. We always liked to go hunting together.
I first noticed that something was wrong with me when I was out on a hunt out to destroy a particularly nasty dire rat that had grown to about five times it's natural size. With shortness of breath and nausea, I just ended up puking on the rat, stopping it in its tracks, stunned, giving me the chance to kill it.
Every morning for a week straight I awoke just to rush to the toilet and throw up. I had backaches and my feet constantly hurt. All the telltale signs of pregnancy. I purchased a home testing kit, which confirmed my suspicions.
I was at least two months pregnant and had no clue as to what I was going to do.
"She should go back to him," Fran said to me one morning while Penelo slept.
"But she won't. No, he should be the one to go to her."
"Has word of Vaan's whereabouts yet reached your ears?" she asked me.
I nodded solemnly. "Apparently the Dancer has been parking in the Estersand for quite some time now."
"Just parked?"
"Yes. It seems Vaan has turned in to quite the drunk. He never leaves the airship except to buy more beer."
"Maybe if we told him he had a little one on the way..."
"I think you're right, Fran. It might just be what he needs to get his act together. Besides, he's the father and has a right to know."
Later that day, we informed Penelo that we had business to attend to and left later that day. Finding Vaan wasn't all that difficult; all you had to do was follow the stench. We landed the Strahl and I got off, crossing the sand to find Vaan slumped against the ramp of his airship. It hurt me physically to see a ship so carelessly taken care of.
He stirred as I approached, opening one eye. "Ball-there?" he asked in a slurred voice.
"Something like that," I replied, trying hard to hid my look of disgust. He sat up, leaning against the doorway. "Vaan, you look terrible. Smell worse."
"Ha. Ha. You're so funny."
"I like to think so." I crossed my arms across my chest, staring at the once exuberant youth with a frown.
"So where's my wife? Did she finally realize that she needs me?"
"No," I replied honestly.
"Good," he said. "I don't want her back."
"You always were a terribly liar. You need her and she needs you," I pointed out.
"She doesn't need me. That's why she left. Because she doesn't need me!" He slumped again in defeat.
"That is where you're wrong, Vaan. She needs you, especially now."
He looked up sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?"
I took a deep breath. "She carries your child, Vaan."
He appeared shocked to learn this. "She's pregnant?" I nodded.
"Which is why I suggest you clean up you act and get you ass to Archades and apologize."
"But she doesn't want me," he said hopelessly.
"So make her want you! Prove to her that you love her more than anything else in Ivalice!" Just to be sure, I asked, "You do love her most, don't you?"
"Of course I do!" he said, standing up. I was surprised because he didn't even stumble, as any other drunk would have. I raised an eyebrow. "They're all filled with water," he explained, tapping and empty bottle with his boot. "I wanted her to feel bad when she found out that I became a drunk because she left."
I rolled my eyes at his logic.
"How do I prove to her I love her most?" he asked in perfect clarity.
"I'd say drastic action is the best course of action..."
I groaned as I heard someone knock on the door. "I'm coming!" I yelled. Balthier and Fran were still away on business so it was up to me to answer the door.
After slipping a sundress on, I trudged to the door. I undid the several locks and opened the door, my jaw dropping.
"Penelo," Vaan said. I slammed the door in his face, locking it.
"Come on, Penelo, please open the door," I heard him say. I ignored him, trying to catch my breath. "Please Penelo!"
"Go away, Vaan!" I said, my resolve wavering. I could deny him if her was hundreds of miles away, but right in front of me, only a piece of wood separating us...
"Penelo," he said, his voice deep. "I know you're pregnant."
"They went to see you?" I asked, feeling totally betrayed. "I don't believe this!" Tears spilled wildly down my cheeks.
"They have been concerned about us."
I didn't reply.
"I love you Penelo. I've missed you so much and I've come to tell you I'm prepared to take responsibility for my actions. I know I've hurt you and I really hate myself for it."
I slid down the wall, clutching to my sides.
"I want to prove to you I've changed. Please Penelo," my husband pleaded.
I wanted to believe his so much...
Which is why I stood and unlocked the door.
He bent to embrace me, but I stopped him. "Don't touch me, Vaan, or I'll throw you back out."
"Okay," he said agreeably. "But you have to come with me to see."
"See what?" I asked.
"That I've changed."
"That's something you can show me? Right now?"
"Yes it is. But you have to come with me."
I agreed to go with him. Once we reached the bottom floor of the apartment building on the lift, he led me outside and into a waiting carriage. I got in, waiting for him to elaborate, but he didn't. We rode in the carriage for a half-hour, exiting the city of Archades completely.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see," he said cryptically, wearing a half smile.
A while later, I saw an enormous something in the distance. As we got closer, I saw that it was the Dancer. I almost got out of the carriage then, but decided to against it.
The carriage stopped a good distance from the Dancer, more than walking distance. I gave Vaan a puzzled look. He just whispered, "You'll see," and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the carriage. I knew I shouldn't have let him touch me, but I did anyway. And it felt so good to touch him again that I couldn't pull away after he took my hand.
Two folding chairs were set out in the middle of the sand. I hadn't noticed them from the carriage. He motioned for me to sit down, sitting down himself only after I reluctantly did.
Vaan turned to me and sought my hand again, giving me an almost sad smile, and whispered, "You once said that all our problems stem from the airship. It took a visit from our friends to make me realize that it was true."
"I don't understand-"
"I know, but you will." He pulled what looked like a walkie-talkie from his pocket, holding a button in and saying, "Light her up."
A second later, thousands of tiny lights on the Dancer lit up, casting a bright white glow. It took me a moment to realize that it was spelling something out: thanks for the memories.
I turned to him quickly. Those were my words to him, my dismissal.
"This is for you, Penelo," he said in a quiet voice. "Fire!" he yelled into the walkie-talkie, squeezing my hand tightly.
The Strahl came roaring overhead, missiles flying from the ships guns, hitting the Dancer until it resembled a cheese grater and blew up.
"Vaan?" I asked breathlessly, not believing my eyes.
"For you, Penelo," my husband said, looking at me resolutely. "I did it for you."
A/N: Sadly, this is the last chapter, but there is still an epilogue so be sure to read it. I really enjoyed writing this story. Let me know if i should write a sequel because i just might if i think someone will read it. Please review!! Thanks!!
webofdreams89