Title: A Friendly Ear

Pairings: Cullen/Evelyn

Rating: Teen

Summary: She needed assurance – she never thought she would find it from a certain Commander

Timeline: Inquisition – not long after getting Skyhold

Warnings: UST, Angst, Chantry-Bashing (kind of)

This refers to 'A Warrior and His Rogue' (Just a little bit)

'A Friendly Ear'

Evelyn Trevelyan sighed as she reached the battlements. She stepped closer to the edge, looking at the scenery before her and shivered. She tightened the cloak with one hand, her breath coming out misty.

The sight before her never failed to astound her and she closed her eyes as the cold air pushed back her hair. She tucked some behind her left ear, enjoying having it down from its usual ponytail. It had been so long since she had felt…normal.

She laughed and it rang hollow. She bent her head to look at the letter in her free hand as her other hand returned to the cloak, holding it close before looking at the sights before her once more.

Then again, she sincerely doubted that she would ever get to be normal again. Not with her parents' words floating around in her head. She shook it, wishing that she had just burned the damn letter when she spotted her mother's handwriting.

Evelyn had to admit that she hoped her parents were going to give her some encouragement. She had been so stupid, so naïve. When was she going to stop getting her hopes up when it came to her parents?

Bitterness and sadness stung at her as she crumpled the letter. She needed to stop writing to her little sister – at least until things had died down and it hurt to think that. She did not want to stop writing to her sister; she was the main reason why Evelyn was able to keep going even with the pressure on her shoulders.

Her baby sister – she should have known that their parents would have read her letters. However, it was for the best. She could not let her sister caught in the crossfire between her and their parents – it was not fair on her.

"Inquisitor-"

Evelyn squeaked in shock, nearly pitching herself over the battlements when hands grabbed her waist from behind. Breathing heavily, clutching the cloak tighter to her chest, she looked, wide-eyed, over her shoulder to meet the wide brown eyes of her Commander.

"Cullen!" She took a step back from the battlements, his hands guiding her while she steadied herself. "Do not sneak up on me!"

"I am sorry, I had not realised you were in deep thoughts."

She let out a breathless chuckle, born out of fear rather than amusement.

"I guess I should have been more aware of my surroundings," she agreed before realising that he still had his hands on her hips. She looked down then looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

Cullen frowned, following her gaze and his cheeks flushed, letting her go, one hand going to the back of his neck. She carefully hid her smile, darting her eyes back over the battlements. Her heart fluttered before she squashed it down.

She was not going to deny it, she was developing feelings for the Commander, but she had refused look closely at her feelings. She could not be falling for her Commander.

She had enough on her plate without her infatuation making her feel like she was a teen again.

"Is everything okay?"

She turned to see he was looking at her. She thought about lying but realised there was no point and sighed, looking at the letter in her hand.

"My...parents," she admitted, she shot him a wry glance. "They wrote me a letter."

"Is that not good?" he asked and she laughed bitterly, looking back out at the scenery.

"Depends on your definition of good," she muttered.

"Do you wish to talk?" he offered, as she looked at him. He shrugged. "I make a good listener."

"I do not wish to take up your time," she told him. "I am sure you have far more important things to do."

"I would not have suggested if I did not have the time," he reminded her, shifting so he was leaning against the battlements facing her, showing that she had his full attention.

She huffed out a laugh, feeling her cheeks heat up as she shifted, giving him a questioning glance. He just tilted his head, arching an eyebrow as the corners of his lips curled up and she sighed, nodding.

"I...have been writing to my youngest sister. She is a mage; she had been at Ostwick Circle when the rebellion started. She chose to go back to our parents rather than be with the rebellion."

"She doesn't support it?"

Evelyn had to laugh. "Tessa was happy at the circle. She was one of the few who did not have a problem with the Templars. She got along with everyone. We kept in contact so when the mages broke free, she came back home."

"And you were sent to the conclave?" he asked. She sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"My oldest sister was meant to be sent in my place," she admitted. "She is a Templar." She saw Cullen wince out the corner of her eyes. "She was supposed to go with the Divine but my older brother, Maxwell, had been travelling-"

"He picked a hell of a time to go travelling, didn't he?" Cullen cut in and she laughed as she turned to face him, seeing the embarrassment crossing his face.

"Maxwell is the next in line to take over our father's place. Therefore, he believed that he needed to earn his place so he decided to travel, to get experience and to see the world first hand. He always sent us letters from places he had been." She shook her head at the memories. "When the rebellion started, Remi was tasked to find him. Shortly before the Conclave, there had been a sighting so she went to find him and I was sent in her place."

She looked at her hand, feeling the anchor tingling beneath the skin. "She would have been far better suited to this task than I."

"Do you believe so?" Cullen asked. She ran her hand through her hair once more then turned fully to him.

"Do you really believe that I am the Herald of Andraste?" she asked. He straightened, arching an eyebrow.

"Are you questioning yourself?" A burst of irrational despair ran through her at his question.

"I do not believe in the Chantry," she admitted – for the first time in a long time. He tilted his head. "I have no faith in them. My…" she looked at the letter. "My parents are religious – deeply so for them to have a child who has no faith in the Chantry was a shock."

"What of the others?"

"Maxwell questions rather than accepts. Remi is a Templar – however, she only accepted the position because of Tessa. She wanted to make sure that Tessa was receiving a fair treatment at the Circle. We were not so out of touch that we did not know that some Templars abused their power." She rubbed her cheek. "Tessa is a question mark to be honest. She seems to vary depending on her mood. Some days she believes, other days she doesn't."

"Was your sister okay in the Circle?" he asked. She could see the concern on his face and nodded.

"Tessa got along with pretty much everyone at the Circle. She was not the type to back down if she believed something was wrong." She laughed. "Maxwell refused to even argue with her because she knew too much to use against him."

"You miss them," he said and she nodded.

"I know they are safe. Remi has found Maxwell and both of them are on their way back to Ostwick. Tessa is safe with our parents – at least until the Circles are restored."

"Do you believe the Circles will be restored?" Cullen asked and she could hear the shock in his tone as she turned to face him, giving him an amused smile.

"Why? Is that a shock?"

"You sided with the Mages, granting them freedom," he reminded and she shook her head.

"I merely granted them an alliance," she reminded him. "We needed their full power to close the breach. However, Grand Enchanter Fiona had not inspired me much with her leadership. I would not be surprised if the Circles were restored once they have picked a new Divine."

"Is your sister okay with that?" he asked and she smiled, nodding.

"She liked the Circle. Do not get me wrong, she does love her family but she feels safer at the Circle. She can learn to control her magic and not fear that she would hurt someone she cares about."

"Does she know your alliance with the Mages?" he asked.

"Yes. In addition, she called me out on it. She even went so far to declare that I was insane for giving them an alliance after their last allies."

"Yes, that was...unexpected," he agreed and she turned to face him, arching an eyebrow.

"If I remember correctly, you told me off just the same as she did. Did you not call me out on not taking precautions regarding abominations?"

"Yes, well, it was a great concern," he muttered and she smiled.

"I understood your concerns," she told him, shaking her head. "I just wanted to give them a chance."

"I am not holding it against you," he said, holding up a hand. "You made a choice when no other could. I admire you for that." She felt her own cheeks heat up.

"I never thought you were still holding it against me," she admitted, smiling shyly and he averted his eyes. "I only meant that you would understand the dangers and I respect you for calling me out on it."

"I...yes...I…" He looked adorable, flushing and stuttering when he looked at her almost desperately. "You were saying about your parents?" She allowed him this, giving him a short nod before she turned to look out over the battlements.

"I was never accepting of the Chantry, even when I was younger. I think it mostly stems from my experience." She swallowed back her anger at her memory. "My parents tried. They sent me to the Chantry to learn, to understand but I hated it. I hated the Mothers, the Sisters and the chant." She laughed bitterly.

"Everywhere I looked; I was seeing lies. They claim to love all those the Maker loved. Yet they could not accept the Elves or the Dwarves, refusing them entrance to a Chantry purely because they were not human."

She turned to face him, seeing his face impassive. She could not tell what he was thinking and she was not sure if that was a good thing. "What did the Chantry do?" she demanded. "When the Divine died – they were more concerned about their position – how they would look to the public. Yes, they were in mourning but that is no excuse to toss those who needed them to the side!"

She turned back to look at the scene, anger running through her. "The Inquisition was the one who found medicine, food, and blankets for those who needed them. We offered the refugees shelter and the Chantry would rather spit in our face than extend their help."

Her hands went to the stone, her nails curling. "They even called the Templars in to deal with us – to prove their power to the people once more only for the Templars to walk away, abandoning their duty."

Evelyn sighed, bowing her head. "I told them that I do not believe myself to be the Herald of Andraste – especially after Haven. Yet they persist in it, and they look at me like I sullied everything they once believed to be true while ignoring their own hypocritical actions."

He chuckled, startling her. She turned to look at him, her eyes widening. That was not what she had expected.

"You remind me of someone I once knew," he told her. "'The Chant is pretty, but they are merely words and words are not actions', she would say." He shook his head. "She found out she had magic when she was twelve. An incident happened involving her and her cousin and she used her magic to protect them."

"Once knew?" Evelyn asked and his eyes darkened.

"Yes. She died in Kinloch Circle during the uprising. She gave her life to protect me." He looked out to the scene. "I think that was part of the reason why I hated mages so much. She was good, kind. She tried her best – she wanted to be a healer." He laughed and it sounded bitter. "So when she died, something inside of me snapped. It just seemed like Mages wanted to destroy everything that was good."

"Yet you came round." She rested against the wall and he nodded.

"I met her cousin. You know her as the Champion of Kirkwall. She was so much like Solona that I found myself remembering her, remembering what she was like. It was not until Marian stood against Meredith that I was reminded of Solona's sacrifice."

"And you joined the Inquisition?" she asked. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not exactly," he confessed. "I stayed behind in Kirkwall to help the people, to restore some semblance of an order after the destruction we had left." He sighed. "Cassandra had approached me but I had been hesitating. I had been a Templar for nearly enough my whole life. How could I give it up and abandon our people?"

Evelyn frowned, she had only heard – briefly – about his recruitment into the Inquisition, but she had not known that he had been reluctant at first.

"I thought about it, went back and forth on my choices. And then-" He chuckled, shaking his head. "And then I met back up with the Hero of Ferelden," he admitted and her eyes widened. "Do not tell Cassandra," He gave her a wry smile, "for I fear she may take my head for not telling her."

"My lips are sealed," she assured him, her own lips curling. "What was she like?"

"Furious," he admitted. "She slapped me." He chuckled mirthlessly and Evelyn frowned. "She was also Solona's cousin," he explained and her eyes widened. "When she discovered my attitude, she slapped me and told me that Solona would be ashamed of me."

"That is harsh." She frowned and Cullen shook his head.

"I kind of asked for it," he slowly admitted. "I was not kind to her and she snapped. I was lucky that her husband was with her for he was the one to calm her down."

"I have heard of them," Evelyn admitted. "That their anger is a sight to behold. I saw a little bit of the King's anger in Redcliffe."

"It is. Leliana can attest to that," he agreed before he sighed. "I…I think that was the moment I truly started looking at myself and seeing my actions. How many mages had lost their lives because of my inaction? How many had been turned to tranquil slaves because I refused to look past my own anger?"

He shook his head. "I was just lying there, nursing my wound as she ranted at me; she was so angry, so dangerous that I was barely looking at her, so caught up in my own anger. I was thinking what did she know what I had been through. What did she know of the danger the Mages possessed then…" A glazed look crossed his eyes. "Then I looked at her and I saw Solona standing before me."

"The Queen of Ferelden slapped you, must have been an honour," Evelyn said and he laughed, turning to look at her as the glaze melted.

"You should have seen her husband's face. I thought he was going to have a heart attack on the spot." He shook his head. "But it did bring me to some sense. I look back on how I used to be and I wonder what would have happened if I had not met her that day."

"Do you think you would have still hated mages?"

"I honestly do not know. I was young when I first became a Templar. I understood the Chantry's warnings but when I had the chance to know Solona, I saw the good side. It was not until the uprising that I saw what the Chantry feared. Then Kirkwall only festered that fear and mistrust."

"I think you would have found a way to push past it all," she softly told him, surprising both of them as she looked up at him. "I mean, I do not think you are the type of person to keep their head buried in the sand for so long."

"Thank you," he whispered and she gave him a short nod. "I decided I wanted to be a better man, a better person so I left the Order and joined the Inquisition. They were willing to do what it took to protect people, to restore order."

"Mother Giselle told me what happened to the original Inquisition," she told him and he nodded. "Will that happen to us?"

"Somehow, I have a feeling that you would not let that happen," he told her. "Cassandra has faith in you. She and Leliana were once part of the Chantry. Leliana may say that she still is but her actions say otherwise. But I think they see how ineffective the Chantry has become in the years."

"I do not think I could allow us to become like them," she admitted. "I want to help protect those who need us. I want to show people that even if the Chantry loses their way, they can still count on us to be there for them. I want to be a force for good, not for a god who may or may not hear us."

"Then go down that path," he told her with a warm smile. "Show us how to protect them, to prove our cause to those who are still unsure. Believe in yourself and you will do what you do best."

Evelyn huffed out a laugh as warmth bloomed in her chest. Who knew the Commander could inspire confidence like that.

"I still think you are all mad for making me the Inquisitor," she told him. He smiled and it was an unfamiliar smile – she had never seen him smile like this, it made his face soft, his eyes twinkling, and she wished she could see it more.

"Evelyn," this was the first time he had ever said her name, "Do not doubt yourself. You are doing a good job. Do what you believe is right."

"And what if I think is right is not right?" she whispered. He swallowed, his eyes dropping to her lips and she felt her heart beat faster. She licked her bottom lip and his eyes darkened before they met hers again.

"Then you deal with the consequences," he told her, shifting in closer. "You are a remarkable person. Do not let your parents take that away."

"I-" She wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel him pressed up against her, to know what it was like for someone to want her for her – not because she was some Noblewoman.

"Commander-" a new voice came. Cullen stepped back and she turned to look at the scenery, getting her breath back. "Seeker Cassandra wishes to meet with you to go over some training schedules."

"Thank you," his voice sounded deeper and she heard the recruit turn around and walk away. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as disappointment and desire waged inside of her. She then tilted her head in his direction, opening her eyes to see him watching her.

"Duty calls," he told her and she nodded.

"I will see you at meal, if you can tear yourself away from your office," she gently teased him. He flashed a quick smile before he brushed past her.

She held her breath before she heard the door close and sagged against the wall, exhaling and wishing she knew what to do, how to deal with her emotions.

He was driving her to a distraction. She just wanted to be with him but she could not allow herself to do so. It did not matter that he may feel the same way; they could not afford this distraction – not with the danger so close to their borders.

Evelyn slowly tore up the letter as tears stung the back of her eyes, piling the pieces up in her palm and lifted her hand, allowing the wind to blow the letter into the air.

She was falling for her Commander, and it stung deeper than any words her parents could express.

The End

Thanks to Pervinca for Betaing