It was awful how bloody gorgeous she was. Positively awful. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything when she flipped her hair over like that? And how was he going to keep others from staring more than necessary (or at all).

Exploding Snap in the Three Broomsticks had never been more difficult- but at least Lily was on his team. It was easier when she was next to him, just out of sight but still close. Then, at least, he only ad to worry about the distracting warmth of her body right next to his and the subtle scent of her shampoo- it was better than when she was on an opposing team, leaning over the table and not even realizing what her body was doing to him.

James shifted closer until his face was right over Lily's shoulder to peak at her cards.

"We're screwed, aren't we?" he whispered. She nodded her head once

"Yep."

Not a minute later, the pub was silenced by the resounding BANG of their loss. Laughing, Lily made to step down from her kneeling position on her too-tall barstool.

"Alright, alright, losers buy. Another round of firewhiskey?"

"No!" James yelled to Sirius' over-eager "Yes!" He glared at his best mate.

"Lily, the last time you had more than one firewhiskey, you crawled into Remus' lap," Dorcus reminded. Lily looked almost as sheepish as the werewolf did at the memory.

"Butterbeer for Lils and firewhiskey for everyone else," James insisted, dragging Lily to the bar before she could argue.

"At least I'm a cheap date," she teased. James almost tripped. Leave it to Lily to constantly remind him that this was, in fact, not a date.

"You're trouble is what you are," he contradicted, earning himself a playful bump in the side. Lily leaned heavily on the bar to wait for service.

"Wanna get out of here soon? The sun's just set and I want to see the lights."

James looked over his shoulder at their group of friends. Remus' advice rang in his ear; Christmas lights were awfully romantic.

"What's say we skive off buying the drinks and go enjoy them now?" he suggested. Lily grinned- the grin that reflected the unofficial Marauder in her.

"If you can get our cloaks I'm all for it."

For a moment, James considered simply summoning them. But what fun would that be? He pushed off form the bar and strut casually back to their table, wordlessly grabbing his and Lily's cloaks, and weaving back through the crowd. They hurried out into the cold before any complaints could be made. Lily laughed lightly as she bundled herself up against the December wind.

"You've made me terribly dishonest," she scolded with no conviction behind her words.

"I've made you mischievous. There's a big difference. We didn't tell them that we weren't going to run off."

"Semantics."

"Are a beautiful thing, love."

They walked in silence after that, traveling further into the village and down several of the side streets. James kept his arm securely around her shoulders, watching her watch the lights.

It was awful how bloody gorgeous she was.

"I've been thinking," he said quietly, feeling like the comfortable silence they'd fallen into was too delicate.

"Shall I get you a helmet?" Lily teased. James grinned bitterly. She noticed and stopped to turn under his arm and stare up at him curiously. "I'm sorry. What have you been thinking?"

James guided them to walk again, too nervous to keep still. It wasn't until they were back on the main street that Lily's quiet call of his name made him realize he'd still been quiet.

"What would you think of dating… me, that is."

Smooth, he cursed himself. He watched Lily closely, not really paying attention to where they were going or who was around them. She was fiddling with her hands- something she always did when presented with a big decision.

"James I… I don't know. What we have is good, isn't it?"

He tried to keep the heaviness of his heart from echoing in his words. "It's brilliant, Lils. It really is… but we have everything but the title."

"Does it need one?" she asked before he could say anything more. "If it's so brilliant why does it have to change? What difference would a title make? It would just make things… make them…" Her struggle for the right words showed on her face.

"Make them what?" he pressed gently.

"Awkward," she blurted out. He could tell that it wasn't the word she wanted to use by the way her hands picked at the ends of her hair. "It would make things different. I like what we have, really, I do-"

"Forget about it," James interrupted, forcing a smile. "Forget I asked. Actually, forget everything! Let's just run away and get married!" He joked to lighten the mood. Lily's laugh made it all the easier. "Let's run away and get married and have lots and lots of- OW!"

His hand flew up to the back of his head at the sharp pain that had his eyes screwing shut.

"James?" came Lily's worried voice. He felt her hand reach up to join his in his hair, the other coming to his shoulder. "James, what's wrong? You're worrying me."

"I think it was just a stupid stinging curse," he grunted. "A bloody good one at that."

Finally managing to open his eyes, the first thing he saw was Lily's wide green eyes right in front of his face. The next thing he saw was a black figure a ways down the street and then the pain again this time in his lower back. All he could hear was a distorted cry of his name from Lily. It wasn't a stinging curse. Forcing himself upright, James ripped his wand from inside his cloak and turned on his heel, ready to curse whoever was attacking him. Behind him, Lily pressed her back to his.

"It can't be…" he heard her mumble. "Is that… is that a Death Eater?"

The cloaked figure that James saw coming towards him confirmed that. He sent out stunning spell after stunning spell, trying to prevent the figure from getting any closer to them- to Lily. They were all blocked easily. Other students and people around them were noticing the intruders. Silence fell on the village. Some retreated into the shops, some down the street. And some, like their friends, came out into the golden lights of the Christmas decorations, walking slowly, eyes flickering about to see what was going on. It was quiet.

Sirius came up to James' side, face uncharacteristically blank. Words echoed in his mind.

"He told me to watch out."

"What the fuck are Death Eaters doing in Hogsmeade?" Sirius growled as more dark shapes appeared from the shadows. "Don't they have better things to do? Aurors will show up here faster than anywhere."

"It's my fault," James admitted. Lily elbowed his back.

"Don't think so highly of yourself," she chided.

"Lily, you should go. You're in the most trouble here," he warned uselessly- he knew she wouldn't. She was a Gryffindor.

"Mind filling me in on why my parents mates decided to party here?" Sirius said with undisguised agitation. The suspense rose as the figures didn't do anything more than multiply. James leaned into Lily's back, reassuring both her and himself. As every new shadow appeared, his anxiety doubled. He could only imagine how she was feeling. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a handful of the teachers ushering students inside buildings or holding their wands out in preparation to defend and fight.

"Snivellus told Lily she was in trouble because I beat Mulciber into the Hospital."

"That doesn't explain why Death Eaters are here," Lily countered. She was pressing herself closer into James' back as well until her head rested between his shoulder blades. Sirius reached around behind him and wandless hand in his.

"It gives them an excuse to have a little fun; this place is swarming with Muggle-borns and blood traitors. It's practically a playground to those cowards." He spit out the last word. "All the same. Lily- get out."

"Don't count on it."

Lily threw the first spell, successfully disarming one of the figures off on the side. James cursed aloud- leave it to the stubborn, red-headed Muggle-born who was in the most danger to initiate the fight. What he didn't know was that all Lily could hear were the words of Crouch echoing over and over in her head. Her spell had been more out of fear than eagerness to fight.

His shield charm was up a second before a jet of orange light came barreling towards them. Only one of the figures seemed focused on him. Around them, screams and spells and curses and fear broke out, breaking the deathly silence that had once blanketed the little village. Net to him, Sirius broke away to stun a Death Eater dueling with (torturing) one of the younger students. James kept himself still, pressing against Lily and trusting her to watch his back as he did hers. He felt her arm flourishing but didn't hear her spells. Drawn between curiosity and worry, James shouted out a furious stunning spell at the figure before him and looked over his shoulder.

Blue shield up but breaking, Lily blocked strike after strike of light. Her face was red and angry and focused on her large opponent.

There was a sound similar to a large tree cracking and falling. To his right, a shop was collapsing in on itself. Lily took off in that direction without a second thought, a wordless spell shooting out and collapsing the one who had been so intent on fighting her. James called her name angrily. She didn't even stop to look at him.

"Help Sirius!" was all she yelled as she fought to lift the fallen wood to help anyone inside. James turned back around to Sirius, getting closer and closer to a pair of Death Eaters and barely blocking the curses.

"Protego horribilis!"

The shield went up just in the time to stop an attack from behind his friend. Sirius grinned.

"Thanks for that, mate."

So much screaming. That was all James could hear. His heart was surprisingly calm all of the sudden- he lifted his wand and took out all of the Death Eaters in a simple fashion. Then, just as suddenly, he felt as if his heart would break through his ribcage. Lily was next to him again, this time with her back against Sirius.

"I couldn't' save him," she yelled over the noise and voices. Then, she was gone again, running into the battle instead of away. James had half a mind to hate her for it. He turned, going back to back with Sirius to watch out for her.

"Lily, get the fuck out of here!"

Instead, she kicked one of the figures in the stomach, turned on her heel, and sent a flash of white light down the street. For just a moment, an overwhelming silence washed over his ears. The doe followed the flash down. Sirius whistled.

"Bloody Dementors now? She took nearly all of 'em out." Sirius shouted when noise filled his ears again.

"Should I be proud or worried that she had a happy enough thought for that. Lily" James broke away from Sirius, veins pumping with anger as she took on another fight.

"I told you to get the fuck out!"

Green eyes flashed to his, wild and angry. She sent another patronus down through the village, shielded them both from a red stream of light, and punched a Death Eater in the face.

"I think I can handle myself, Thanks."

And she smiled at him.

What happened next was either very slow, or James' senses had sped up. Something knocked into the side of his head and fell to the ground. A wand. Several yards away, Lily looked at him, eyes wide and confused. James picked up her wand, every intention of getting it back to her.

Then the Apothecary went up in flames.

There was cheering and a sick, delighted laugh.

Lily made to dodge, to run away, run towards him. She was caught by the laughing figure. James only made it two steps before his wand arm was grabbed by one, his waist by another.

"Lily!" he cried out. She was being dragged, kicking and flailing and screaming, closer to the burning building.

"Lily!" His voice cracked, arms fighting and sparks flaring upward from his wand and legs trying to free himself.

"Watch," a low voice whispered in his ear. James yelled and fought harder, calling out to Lily and watching her fear filled eyes as she was grabbed roughly by another cloaked figure and dragged inside.

"Get the fuck off me!" he bellowed, calling and calling Lily's name. He could hear her scream above the commotion-filled battlefield that was Hogsmeade. He was going to go mad. Nothing he did was enough. His voice turned hoarse and cracking as he called out Lily's name again and again, yelling at his captures and pleading with whoever was with her to stop.

The front door to the Apothecary collapsed as the fire roared.

The screaming stopped very suddenly.

The captures let go. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he was running. Running and yelling and brandishing his wand at the building. A body came up next to his, throwing some spell that killed the fire in seconds. James only had a second to recognize him as Alastor Moody before he was running again.

Then he was tackled and squeezed into what felt like a tiny box.

And then it was dark and quiet and the front gates of Hogwarts were before him. James reared to attack the person that brought him back but whoever it was disappeared with a pop. Wand out, he turned to apparate back when a pair of tree sized arms grabbed him and started hauling him onto the grounds.

"Let me go, Hagrid!" James yelled furiously. "I have to go! I have to get her!"

The half giant held his own, half carrying, half dragging James up the path and ushering a small group of students back up to the school.

"The 'ole Aurors department is 'ere, Po'er. They'll get 'er," he tried to comfort. It didn't work. He was forced back into the school, into the Great Hall where all of the students sat at the tables, chattering and crying and worrying loudly. One Auror that James didn't recognize kept watch of the door, eyeing him dangerously when he tried to get out. Furious, he flew up the isle to the front of the room where Dumbledore was helping McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey with wounded and moaning students laying out on the Head's table. Sirius lay at the very end, eyes clenched tightly and coughing violently as a burly-looking student held his shoulders down so Madame Pomfrey could examine his ribs. Of the handful of people on the table, he seemed to be worst off.

But at least he was being taken care of.

"Professor!" James yelled, not caring if he came across as disrespectful. "Lily is still out there. She's hurt." He pleaded. He hoped that the usually understanding old Headmaster would just let him go.

Steely blue eyes met his for a quiet moment. "The Aurors are brining everyone back. Hagrid will have her when he returns with the next wave of students."

"No he won't!" James shouted, ignoring McGonagall's admonishment. "They dragged her into the burning Apothecary. She was screaming. I have to go!"

McGonagall put her hands on James' shoulders to try and gently maneuver him away. He shrugged her off aggressively and stayed put stubbornly staring down Dumbledore. The old man looked older than James had ever seen him, but his determined eyes and silence told him all he needed to know. He didn't want to hear the words.

"This is what the Aurors are trained for, Mr. Potter. While they do their job, I have to ask that you do yours here."

It was the cruelest thing he could have said.

James walked down the aisle next to the Gryffindor table, the voices turning to whispers as he passed.

No one understood. No one understood why there had been an attack, why their friends had gotten hurt, why James was in such a tizzy. They asked each other "Oh, why me? Why him? Why this, that, and the other?"

There was an empty space towards the end of the table closest to the door that he took up. He watched the Auror guarding the door, hands crossed in front of his mouth.

That lasted all of five minutes before he was up and pacing and huffing and grabbing his hair. Everyone was too wrapped up in their own woes to notice their Head Boy going mad, mumbling to himself and glaring at the stone floor.

Pages: 7
Words: 7,839
Disclaimer: Don't own
Notes: :c harrumph. I don't know.

I actually wrote this 3 months ago when I was on the plane :x