-1Harry paced back and forth in the Hogwarts owlery. He had sent a letter to Sirius telling him that they needed to talk immediately and he was waiting for a letter back. He had already planned in his head what he would say to Sirius in his next letter and how he would disguise Snape in his letters as a student. How did this even happen? That memory Snape was viewing was him telling his Godfather he thought he might be gay, but he wasn't sure. Sirius was more than willing to help, even letting Harry in on the secret that Remus and he had been dating since he escaped from Azkaban. Harry was slightly angry at first but decided that his godfather had his reasons for not telling him. Then he thought back to the kiss. Snape's lips were dry and thin, but warm and inviting at the same time. After Harry ran from Snape's room and hid in the owlery, he came to the conclusion that he was indeed gay. None of his kisses with Cho or Ginny made him feel so good. He was hard even before Snape had kicked him out. Then the tears came back. He wasn't even sure why he had kissed him. It was like the moment he called him Harry for the first time, something just snapped. He wanted to hug the man and cuddle him and run his hands through his hair. Harry laughed at that thought out loud, picturing what Ron would think if he told him that. He could hear it now, "YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR HANDS THROUGH HIS CLUMPY, GREASE-FILLED HAIR?! ARE YOU MENTAL?" then he would proceed to take Harry to St. Mungo's to get him examined. Harry laughed again, even though the tears still ran freely down his face. "Why does he make me feel this way?" He thought aloud to himself.
"How exactly does he make you feel, Harry?" Harry jumped at the headmasters voice. "Sir, he um… never mind. What are you doing here, sir?" Harry jumbled up his sentence and then cringed at how rude it sounded. "I'm looking for you Harry. Sirius is waiting for you in my office." He gave Harry a small sad smile. "Sir, why is he there? I wrote him a letter but I thought he would just write me back…" Harry trailed off nervously. The headmaster put his hand on Harry's shoulder and his twinkling blue eyes met with teary emerald ones. "Word of advice Harry, don't use any names with your godfather just yet. He won't be able to handle it well at the moment." He gave Harry a wink and walked towards the door. "Also, I changed the password to 'licorice wands'." Harry stared wide-eyed at where the headmaster had just stood. "Great!" He screamed angrily making all the owls in the room screech. How could Snape tell the headmaster like that? It was so unfair! "Yeah and they probably had a great laugh about it. Little Harry Potter, 'the savior of the wizarding word' 'the boy who lived', crushing on his most hated potions professor and former death eater! What a great laugh they must've had." Harry sighed quietly to himself. He opened the door and began the long walk to the headmasters office, trying to figure out how he was going to tell Sirius without telling him he was talking about Snape.
"Harry! Are you alright? It took you long enough!" Sirius embraced Harry into a bone crushing hug that could make Mrs. Weasley's hugs look like heaven. "Can't…Breathe" Harry wheezed out. Sirius smiled and laughed, letting go of his cub. "So what is so important that you had to talk to me about?" He sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for Harry to do the same. They were positioned so Harry and Sirius could look at each other. The headmaster was sitting far in the back of the room, trying to cause little attention to himself because he wanted to hear what Harry had to say. Unlucky for him, Sirius noticed his presence.
"Albus, I don't want to kick you out of your own office but I feel like maybe Harry would feel better if you didn't hear?" He look towards Harry as if asking him. Harry cleared his throat. "Oh… No Sirius that's okay professor Dumbledore can stay…. I'm pretty sure he already knows, I think. If you want to stay you can, sir." Harry said addressing the last statement towards the headmaster. Albus nodded and told him to continue as if he weren't even there. "Sirius I kind of… kissed someone tonight." Harry said bravely. "Was this someone a boy, Harry?" Sirius said lightly teasing him. Harry looked down at his lap, a blush rising on to his cheeks. "Harry you have nothing to be ashamed of! How did it go? Who's the lucky fellow? Is it Ron?" Harry made a gagging sound and looked up with a disgusted face. "Merlin no! Me and Ron…no no! He's all Hermione's… trust me I've heard them." Then he remembered the headmaster was still there. "Professor, sir, please pretend you didn't hear that." Harry pleaded afraid he was going to get his two best friends in trouble. Albus chuckled warmly. "Trust me, Harry, there are portraits in the boys dorm remember? I've gotten an earful about those two from many of the portraits in there. Some things I may have never needed to know but it makes me think maybe the girls dorms aren't the only knows that need to be enter by gender only." He gave Harry another wink. Sirius laughed. "That doesn't help the students like Harry, Albus. You should also keep the boy he's after away from his dorm! I don't want him to hurt my cub." Harry and the headmaster shared a look, but Sirius didn't notice so he continued. "Just think of all the things that he could do to Harry. I was once a teenager you know!" He said looking at Harry.
Harry shoved his face into his hands. "Please Sirius not another sex talk! I've already gotten one from Professor McGonagal and trust me that was all I needed." Sirius stopped laughing and paled. "I remember the first time McGonagal caught me in the alcoves. Remus and I had detention for a full month on Saturdays. We weren't even allowed to go to Hogsmeade!" Harry smiled at his godfather. "You and Remus had a thing when you were teenagers?" He wondered what it would be like to be in the alcoves with Snape. "Merlin yes! We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. It was actually Professor Dumbledore's doing." Harry turned to his professor indicating that he wanted to know what he did. "I remember seeing young Sirius and Remus in 5th year, they didn't know whether to love or hate each other over what they were feeling. They didn't want anyone to know so they had girlfriends but their eyes were always glued to each other. One day I had enough. All the teachers knew that they wanted each other it was strange the students didn't see it. I owled both of them separately and told them to meet me in my office at the same time. When they did they were insulting each other left and right but their eyes were filled with lust. So I told him if they didn't kiss and be happy together, I was going to use the imperius curse to do it for them! Let's just say in the end I had to pull them apart before they took each other on one of my chairs."
Sirius blushed remembering the headmaster breaking them apart. Harry felt a little bit better knowing Dumbledore was okay with gays. "Now, enough of reminiscing let's talk about your kiss, Harry." Talking about Sirius when he was younger had made Harry forget all about what he wanted to talk to Sirius about. He closed his eyes and started to think. "I don't know what to do Siri. I'm positive I like guys." He thought about Snape's face when he had kicked him out, and a tear escaped his eyes. Sirius moved closer to Harry and put his hand on his knee. "Cub, look at me." He commanded. Harry looked up with watery eyes. Sirius sighed and gripped his knee, comforting him. "I know it's hard for you, especially since you just figured it out. But there's nothing wrong with it. Does he boy you kissed feel the same way?" Harry wasn't ready for the question. He began to cry hard. Sirius took that as a no. He got up and held Harry, rubbing his back and whispering comforting words into his ear. Dumbledore watched sadly, wishing his two favorite boys would be happy.
Everyone was so wrapped up in Harry that they didn't hear the knock on the door or the creak of it opening. Only did they come back to reality when they heard the smooth, velvety voice say, "How nauseating. I think I will be sick." Snape was angry that he didn't get to sleep that long. A sharp, burning in his arm brought him back from confusing dreams. He cursed Voldemort under his breath and began to re-dress. He knew he had to visit the headmaster before he left for the meeting, it was Albus' policy. When he reached the office and got no reply, he had a strange urge to just turn and leave. But he knew that Albus trusted him and wanted to make sure he was safe. Albus was always like a father to him and sometimes he made him feel like he was loved. He had never felt loved before he came to Hogwarts. Black was the first to speak, pulling away from Harry in the process. "Snivellus what the hell are you doing here?!" He demanded. Snape scowled deeply and walked swiftly up to the headmaster, who had lifted his arm telling Sirius to be quiet. "Albus, I have to go. He's calling me for the first time in awhile. I'm not sure if he's found out or not. My will is hidden in my personal potions lab under the calming draught." He made a move to leave but Albus stopped him by resting his hand and his arm. "Severus, I don't think you should go. You know the dangers of him finding out you're a spy. But we both know you wont listen to me so I need you to wear this. It's charmed so only people in the order can see it, but it's an emergency portkey. It takes you right back here into my office. Just press the moon down into the star." Snape took the portkey and put it around his neck. He nodded to the headmaster and turned to walked out the door. Harry cried even harder and Albus felt a pang in his heart. How could someone so young care so much? He wondered. Eventually Harry quieted down and hugged Sirius, telling him he was alright and that he would go back to his dorm and lay down.
Halfway up the stairs Harry's scar began to throb. As if everything was in slow motion, he fell into a sitting position on the stairs and then the vision came, violently.
"Severussss. You have disssapointed me. What a shock it was to find out you were disobeying me. I don't like liars Severussss and now you have to die. CRUCIO!" His laughter filled up the whole room, along with Bellatrix's distinct laughter as well as Lucious Malfoy's. Snape was screaming and trying to lift his arm to touch the portkey, but his muscles wouldn't have any of it. He withered on the crouch twitching madly. After two minutes the curse was taken off. "Luciousss!" Voldemort's voice hissed at him. Lucious bowed before his lord, kissing the hems of his robes. "Master?" Voldemort nodded his head at him and began to speak. "Luciousss you may take Severussss first, but remember you musssst take turnssss with the resssst of the group!" Lucious bowed again. "Thank you, my lord." He approached Snape who was crying on the floor trying to move his arms. Lucious walked towards Snape and roughly pushed his robes out of the way and yanked down his pants and underwear. Snape let out another scream, voice severely hoarse. Lucious then began to unzip his pants, pushing him down revealing his hard cock. His fingers traced down his length and rubbed the tip, letting out a moan. He positioned Snape so he was on his hands and knees and then brutally shoved himself in. Snape's back arched up and he screamed and clawed at the ground. There was blood dripping down his leg and his arms gave out. Lucious held on to his hips making Snape look like he was praying with his arms out in front of him. Snape started inching his arm towards he pendant. Laughter once again filled the room.
Harry's vision once again cleared. He had to tell the headmaster! He left his things on the floor and ran towards his office. "LICORICE WANDS!" he screamed running up the stairs as fast as he could and shoving the door open. Albus jumped in surprise. "PROFESSOR, SIR, IT'S SNAPE! HE'S HURT! WE HAVE TO HELP HIM!" Harry was crying and begging at this point. He was wondering why he felt so bad. He had only kissed the man, he didn't even start feeling for him until earlier that evening. It was impossible to be in love with him. The headmaster looked down at him, normally twinkling eyes filled with concern. "Did you have a vision?" Harry nodded his head solemnly. "Explain to me what you saw…" Harry explained very quickly and Albus had gotten up from his desk to talk to some portraits. Then he fire called Grimmauld Place and notified the order. A few minutes later they heard a loud "pop" and Snape was lying in between the chairs in the headmasters office. His head was on the ground and his pants were still pulled down. There was semen and blood dripped from his hole and his body was slightly twitching. Harry ran over to him.
"Sir! Professor Snape, sir, are you okay? Can you hear me?" He was sobbing and holding his professors head in his lap. Dumbledore looked over and slightly smiled at what he saw, then he sprang into action. "Harry, stay with him I'm going to get Poppy!" Harry nodded his head, eyes concentrated on stroking his professors hair ever so lightly. Harry then began to place tiny kisses on his forehead and hair. He stirred for a moment and hair began stroking his hair again. He then heard a low groan and a muffled voice speaking into his lap. "I must be in Heaven." He said, leaning in to the touch. "Shh… Severus it's okay I'm here." Harry said gently. Poppy and Albus burst through the door and started to heal him. The sound made Snape's head snap up, causing him to groan in pain. "Shh… lay back down and let them heal you." Harry whispered. Albus watched as the young Gryffindor comforted his snarky potions master, taking note on how Severus leaned in to his touch and Harry seemed to only take notice of him. Poppy was crying silently. She had yet to administer the potions because she was healing a few broken bones and his anus. When she finished she looked at Harry and then at Severus. She walked up quietly to Harry and began to whisper. "Mister Potter, if you would kindly administer the potions to him, he seems comforted in your care."
Harry was handed a pain potion, skelegrow, blood replenisher, and an anti-cruciatous potion. Harry carefully undid the first potion. He lifted his professors head up slightly and opened his mouth. He then positioned the tiny bottle to his lips and began to massage his neck which made his easier for him to swallow while unconscious. He did the same with the rest of the potions. Harry stroked Snape's hair again, waiting for Madam Pomfrey to levitate him to the hospital wing. Snape started to slowly regain consciousness and opened his eyes. Harry's fingers threaded through his hair and he looked into the midnight eyes of his crush. They were filled with sadness and pain. He bent down and placed another kiss on his forehead. He then whispered, "It will be okay, Severus, I've got you. You're safe." Madam Pomfrey handed Harry another potion. Dreamless sleep. Harry placed his hand on Snape's face as he spoke again. "Severus, I'm going to give you dreamless sleep okay? When you wake up you will be in the hospital wing, safe." Snape nodded slightly and opened his mouth. Harry tipped the vial and he swallowed obediently. His eyes then shut and he succumbed to sleep. Harry looked at the man bellow him and felt his heart fill with sadness. He vowed not to leave that man's side the rest of the night. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore levitated Snape to the hospital wing and Harry fell asleep at the side of his professors bed, holding his hand.