In Snow White's dreams she remembered Regina's touches. They were gentle and pressing, too kind for the cool anger within her eyes that kept her heart far out of reach.
But as she woke, startled by memories that had not come to her in months, she only felt David's arms - her fiancee's arms - securely holding her.
It should have been a comfort, to wake from what she wanted so badly to call a nightmare, and find his strength and love surrounding her. Instead, she was suddenly restless and uneasy. Extricating herself from their tangle of limbs, she rose and wandered out of their joint chambers.
As she walked she found herself in one of the formal sitting rooms they used to host guests. Plush couches and velvet tapestries gave off an aura of comfort as Snow lit candles and tried to forget what had caused her to wake.
But the unmistakeable prickle of magic, made her spine go straight and senses alert at an encroaching danger.
In a cloud of purple smoke, Regina was in front of her. She sat leisurely, as though she was not trespassing in the home of her most hated enemy.
Snow felt a rush go through her at the sight, and tried to reason that it was one of anger instead of excitement.
"What are you doing here?" She asked while reaching for anything that might make a suitable weapon.
As her fingers wrapped around a heavy brass candlestick, the Queen only laughed, her red lips turning up in a smirk.
"I think the question is why you are up at such an hour? Pre-wedding jitters?"
Her tone was mocking, and there was a palpable energy surrounding them - dark and threatening. Who it belonged to was indiscernible.
"No."
She said it too quickly and too defensively. Regina's brow quirked.
Then the composure she was trying so hard to maintain was betrayed as her face colored. The dreams that had woken her suddenly flashed through her mind.
The Queen leaned forward in her seat, as she watched her former step-daughter struggle with the barrage of memories and emotion that had descended upon her.
"Did you do this?" Snow asked quietly. Her voice wavered with a weakness she tried to mask in accusation.
"Oh, I didn't do anything." Regina stood now, closing the space between them and running a finger along Snow's cheek. "It appears that I simply have excellent timing."
Then their lips met, and Snow wanted to believe it had been Regina who moved first.
The kiss burned with feelings that she should have been strong enough to abandon by now. It was every kind of painful. So, before they could deepen it, she pushed Regina away.
"Don't. I love Charming."
The older woman laughed again, and dammit if Snow didn't hate that laugh.
"Who are you trying to convince, dear? You might tell yourself you love him, but what we have-" She nipped at Snow's jaw, watching her green eyes flutter closed at the sensation. "- is so much better."
"No." She protested. "This hurts. It shouldn't hurt, Regina."
And it did hurt, but as Regina stepped away, her heart clenched at the distance.
She shut her eyes and tried to think of David just down the hall. Her Prince Charming who was good and kind and would never do anything to hurt her.
But when she opened her eyes again, she found Regina had once more closed the space between them. She wanted to be upset at herself for letting her guard down, but found it difficult with the Queen's hands holding possessively to her hips.
They made eye contact, and Snow licked her lips before she could think not to.
As Regina's hands glided up to her waist, she shivered. Their mouths met again, and it was achingly familiar. Snow felt her skin tingle and her legs wobble as she remembered a time when this was all she wanted. When she had not yet learned that it would only ever bring her pain instead of the happiness she sought.
Pushing her body into Regina's, she let go of the candlestick and gripped at the heavy material of her dress. It was a stark departure from her own thin night clothes.
Their lips parted, and teeth and tongues bit and sucked until one of them let out a breathy moan. She felt Regina's hands everywhere. First on her stomach, then her breasts, then on her back keeping their bodies pressed together.
Snow's thoughts were clouded and she didn't realize that she had been lifted onto a nearby oak desk until the cool evening air hit the tops of her thighs. Regina was pulling up the hem of her shift, and Snow wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck holding them close. They were both breathing heavily, but Snow's lungs spasmed in a sharp gasp as she felt a hand slide between her legs. Fingernails scratched at soft skin, just beyond where she longed for contact.
Resting her head on Regina's shoulder, she silently implored the other woman to stop teasing. As if she knew what Snow was thinking, Regina pushed slightly into her folds while her thumb circled lightly around her clit. Snow's hips canted trying to find more pressure, but Regina removed her hand and Snow could have cursed. The Queen held the hand between them, coated in Snow's weakness, evidence of her desire.
"It may hurt, but it seems that Snow White isn't as opposed to a little pain as she might like to pretend."
Snow stared at her, anger bubbling. She thought about reaching again for the candlestick.
Instead she tugged at Regina's neck, bringing them together in a rough kiss. This time there was no teasing as two fingers slipped inside of her in a quick and controlled rhythm.
Snow's head found its place on her shoulder again, and she whispered hotly against Regina's ear.
"I hate you."
She could almost feel the Queen smirk in response.
There was something profoundly wrong with what they were. There was a blasphemy, a sacrilege in the hate they so ardently professed for each other. Snow knew that the way she would certainly feel when this encounter was over only testified to that. But now she couldn't fight the way her senses burned at Regina's nearness, the way her body reacted to every stroke and caress.
When the coil that had been building in her since she had woken restless next to her fiancee finally released with a shudder and heated cry, Regina slowly removed her hand.
Their bodies were still close. They looked at each other, and a terrible moment passed when the energy that surrounded them was no longer dark and threatening. It was something else that only settled on them in these moments, but that made it no less palpable.
Just before they broke apart, they kissed. It was soft and warm and deceptive. It wasn't love, Snow told herself. It had a different flavor than what she recognized, different from David, different from any other she had kissed or could imagine kissing. It was distinctly Regina, and oh god did it hurt.
Regina must have felt the pain too, because she backed away a cold walled off look on her face.
Snow stood straightening her clothes, ignoring the clinging wetness between her legs.
"Best get back to bed before your Prince wakes to find his bride-to-be defiled. It would be such a shame to start your married life with him fully aware of his inadequacies."
As she was about to fire back at Regina for something that had been spoken for cruelty's sake, her heart clenched again. For all the anger in her words, she stood tense and distant, the space between them appearing as vast landscape of anguish. They each had everywhere to run but were no less within a cage.
Snow could deny the truth all she wanted, but there would never be world where she and Regina were not pulled together. They would always be drawn to the other just as they had been tonight.
But before she had a chance to speak, to say anything that might have reasserted or broken down the boundaries that kept them apart, Regina was gone in a puff of purple smoke.
So Snow returned to her chamber where she coaxed David awake and kissed him deeply, trying to use his lips to erase the memory of Regina's.
"I love you." She whispered to him through the darkness. Yet, the words only made her feel buried alive as what would soon be their marriage bed turned to flame at her heresy.