TWO:: Lay me Down
Of all the people Edward didn't expect to see that morning, three long weeks after Isabella's departure, maybe Jacob Black shouldn't have been on the list.
He stood with his back to the wolf, knowing he was there and not caring. Only a few months ago he had defended Bella from a vampire intent on her life here. The campsite was no longer visible, their brief passing already reclaimed by the forest. It felt like another lifetime to Edward.
A soft rustling marked Jacob's phasing. Edward continued to ignore him long after the wolf had dressed himself and stood just inside the line of the trees, waiting.
"Why?"
The man's voice was soft and filled with confusion. There was something else there too: warring tints of gloating and concern. When Edward didn't answer him, he walked forward, bare feet almost silent even on the noisy underbrush. Edward did not turn to face him and Jacob finally walked around him so they were face to face. Or more-or-less since Edward was still looking down and Jacob towered an impressive seven inches over him anyways.
"Cullen."
"I've never had any desire to speak with you before, mutt. What makes you think now would be the exception?" Edward was aware that saying so was speaking. And that he could have said something that contained a lot fewer words and got the point across stronger. Fuck off came to mind, but he was too exhausted to be appropriately hostile.
"What are you doing here, Cullen?"
He didn't miss that the wolf had not referred to him once by a derogatory name, even after he had pulled out a standard one of his own.
"Saying goodbye," he whispered without thought, turning a small half-circle that let him survey the small campsite while keeping his back to his unwelcome companion.
"Why did she leave?" Jacob pressed after a second.
"It doesn't matter."
"Did you...?" He shifted uncomfortably, obviously trying to decide if he was disgusted or not.
"Yes." Edward was making a concerted effort not to hear what the wolf was thinking, not to respond to the accusations running rampant through the other's head. But the visions of himself harming Bella, the one creature he had loved more than any other, eventually proved to be too much.
"I didn't hurt her!" he snarled, spinning to glare at the damned wolf.
Jacob looked like he was going to respond in kind, but paused, hesitating.
"I would never have hurt her."
"Then why did she leave?" Jacob asked softly. "Charlie said she called him a few days ago from Italy. She ran off with some Italian."
Edward stiffened, his jaw clenching spasmodically. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to attack Jacob, take his frustrations and pain out on this soft creature. This warm creature. This creature that was human (for the moment) and had warm human blood running through his veins. He took a slow breath to calm himself down and then held it so he wouldn't get any more of the wolf's scent.
"You should leave, Black."
Jacob walked past him to do just that, thumbs already hooked in the waistband of his shorts. He paused just inside the clearing, but Edward did not turn to look back at him.
"I loved her too," he said softly. "I'm not saying that to make you angry. Just... so you know. That you're not alone..." his voice trailed off and Edward could hear the man's embarrassed thoughts as clearly as if they were being shouted at him. He felt a tiny stirring of gratitude, but said nothing else.
The underbrush rustled softly as Jacob stripped out of his shorts and phased smoothly, disappearing into the deep forest. Edward slowly placed his back to the cliff and slid down. Bella's smell was still strong here, even after all the months. Realizing where the scent must be coming from, he shifted the new growth and pulled up a jagged piece of granite. A faint pink stain still marred the pale stone.
Edward clutched it hard, letting her scent wash over him and remind him that she had been human once. That she had been his.
Hours passed into days. The sun rose twice over his head, setting his skin aglow beneath its rays, and long after those rays disappeared behind heavy clouds, Edward finally realized that it was raining. He levered himself up and turned around. He shoved his hand into the soil and pulled back, leaving a hole in the rich black earth. The stone he had been clutching had broken in his hand and he let the shards tumble into the hole.
Bella, his Bella, the strange creature he had loved was dead. Her love and his teeth had killed her. Isabella was nothing to him and he hoped they never occasioned to meet again.
"Goodbye," he whispered, pushing the dirt back into the hole. Edward stood slowly and walked away.
XX~*~XX
He wasn't completely sure why he was returning to the house. A very big part of him wanted to go away. Leave all the painful memories behind and never have to suffer seeing something that would remind him of Bella again. But somehow those memories were already dulling down to something vague and manageable. It felt like something had been unplugged inside of him and the things he knew should be causing him irreparable harm were not.
It was this confused distant expression that greeted Carlisle when the older vampire returned from the hospital that night. Carlisle sighed softly and sat down next to his distraught son.
"Edward..."
"I should be feeling more," Edward interrupted him. Carlisle's thoughts were a mess. His mind strayed rapidly from his time in Italy, to the horrific night of Bella's turning, to various seemingly unconnected points in their lives.
"Isabella... is a singularly unique creature," Carlisle ventured finally.
"You never mentioned her." Edward's jaw was clenched tightly.
"I knew her only briefly. She was turned by Caius in the early elven hundreds. She never forgave him for it. She was only in Italy for a few months while I was there; she used my arrival as a distraction to escape. I didn't understand exactly what Caius meant then, but I do now. She must have exited her body then to find another..." He watched Edward's face carefully, slowly setting a hand on his bent shoulders.
"She has another
peculiar ability." He hesitated, but Edward had already picked the
ability out of his thoughts.
"She took away my love?"
"It's not quite like that... she can only make the mind understand something it is already capable of. She can only bring out feelings... or affinities that already exist."
Edward wondered fleetingly if she had been making him love her in the first place, or inflaming that love. But he believed her when she said she and Bella were separate people. Could she have been doing it unconsciously? He shook his head slowly... thoughts like that would poison him.
"What did she do to Jasper?" he asked quietly. He had been so consumed with his own predicament, that he hadn't thought to question what her 'gift' to his brother had been.
Carlisle smiled slightly. "Jasper and Alice were in Seattle today."
"He survived the mall?" Edward felt his lips twitch slightly. Jasper was a fair hand at controlling himself when the humans were in "small herds"as he called them, so they tried to avoid large groups of them as much as possible – the school was about as much as he could take.
"More than that... he seems to be repulsed by human blood now."
Edward frowned. "A little extreme."
Carlisle agreed with a small sound. "We're hoping the... repulsion lessens over time." He opened his mouth to speak again, but his cell phone interrupted him, not that Edward hadn't caught Carlisle's unease anyways.
"Dr. Cullen?"
If Edward hadn't been able to hear the voice on the other end of the line, he might have been concerned by Carlisle's sudden shocked look.
"Mr. Black. What can I do for you?" They hadn't heard much from the wolf pack since the battle that had forced them to cooperate, and Edward doubted it was just a pleasure call.
Billy sighed heavily. "It's Jacob..." he hesitated. "He's ill. We think... he might need a doctor..." The man's reluctance was blatantly obvious. But necessity made strange allies and he had swallowed a lot of pride to call on their aid.
"What are his symptoms?"
"He was lethargic... decreased appetite..."
"Was?"
"He went to bed yesterday night and hasn't woken up. He's got a fever." There was a soft creaking sound that a human probably wouldn't have been able to hear. Billy Black was clenching his teeth.
"I'll be right over," Carlisle promised, his voice smooth and even as though there was never a question of his answer.
Edward knew there had never been a question, but Billy didn't.
There was a slight pause and then, "Thank you."
"Any time, Mr. Black. I will be over immediately." He stood as he clicked the phone off and folded it closed. Edward rose with him, hands slipping into his pockets.
I don't need a bodyguard, Edward.
"I'm not letting you go alone." He was stubborn. Carlisle knew it. The fight was over before it had even gathered steam and Carlisle left to gather his things while Edward brought a car around to the front of the house.
XX~*~XX
The entire pack was assembled outside the house. Edward felt a moment's unease as he read the hostility in their thoughts, but foremost was fear for their packmate. He nodded minutely and Carlisle pushed the door open, grabbing his bag from the back seat.
"What are you doing here?" One of the younger ones asked of Edward, eyes narrowed.
"Leave off, Embry."
Edward nodded to Seth in passing and the young boy inclined his head in return. He didn't look like a young boy. If he didn't know Seth was a mere fourteen, he would have guessed his age closer to his mid-twenties.
Carlisle smiled charmingly as though he really was making a simple house call and not literally going out among the wolves. The pack closed in behind them, but Carlisle was not concerned and his thoughts were filled with nothing but Jacob Black's health. Edward had always loved Carlisle's ability to care, he just wished the Quileute pack felt the same way and weren't crying foul play in their heads.
"Good evening, Mr. Black. Where is our patient?" He spoke with casual certainty, as though he had been called to see to a common cold, when they all realized that for a wolf to be sick, it must be serious.
They were shown back to Jacob's room. For as big as Jacob was, he looked strangely frail stretched out across the much too short bed. His dark skin was flushed red and glistened with sweat. Beneath him, the bed was soaked with it. He whimpered softly in his sleep.
A chair was brought into the tiny room and Edward pressed himself into a far corner while Carlisle sat at the bedside and put two fingers to Jacob's wrist. He could have easily counted the beats without having to feel them, but such normal actions helped to put the concerned onlookers crowding in the hallway to ease.
After a moment, he removed his fingers and pulled a thermometer out of his bag. He closed Jacob's arm around it and leaned back in his chair slightly while the instrument worked.
"I will have to take some normal readings from the pack sometime. Preferably soon."
"Why?" Leah demanded suspiciously. Sam gave her a sharp look and then made a quick motion with one hand. The crowd dispersed, leaving the pack leader and Billy alone in the hallway.
"Jacob's resting heart rate is one hundred and twenty-three beats per minute. Certainly, high for a human, but I have no basis for comparison on a werewolf."
"It's high," Edward announced softly, calling attention to himself.
"How would you know that?" Sam asked quietly. His voice held none of the suspicion Leah's had, but his wary curiosity was evident.
"I spent a night locked in a tent with him with little else to occupy my time," Edward reminded him, glancing up briefly to meet his eyes.
"How high, Edward?"
"His resting heart rate that night, once he went to sleep, was sixty-eight."
"Hm." The thermometer beeped and Carlisle withdrew it. "What is your average body temperature?" he asked, though the number one-oh-nine point five was already laying on top of his thoughts. Getting the other two involved made them feel useful and reduced their tendency towards suspicion, though, so he waited for Sam to answer.
"He's running at one sixteen. We need to get his fever down. And very soon."
"We've already tried packing him in ice... putting him in cold water. The ice just melts and the water warms up fast."
"Yes, I can see how that would be a problem. Please bring some towels... I will need to dry him off."
Edward picked up Carlisle's plan and sighed softly while Sam turned to drag a stack of towels out of the linen closet. He nodded faintly when the older vampire looked up at him and Carlisle gave him a compassionate look.
Carlisle effortlessly lifted the feverish wolf from the bed and held him while Edward and Sam quickly stripped the sheets and changed the bedding. While the other two dried Jacob's slick body, Edward reached up and yanked his shirt over his head.
"I'm going to smell for weeks," he complained under his breath, kicking off his shoes and sliding out of his pants, leaving him naked but for his shorts.
"What is he doing?" Billy asked nervously.
"Edward's body runs at a consistent sixty-three point nine degrees, and he won't melt or warm up." Carlisle smiled at the little joke, having some success at diffusing the immediate hostility.
Edward arranged himself reluctantly on the bed, spreading his body out so he was touching as much of the wolf's chest as possible. His lips curled up in disgust and his nose wrinkled as he set his head on Jacob's shoulder and reached up to lay a hand on his forehead. It was hardly a comfortable position, but nothing about this was going to be comfortable.
Carlisle patted him gratefully on the shoulder and returned to his bag. "That should help with the fever...with your permission, I would like to draw some blood, though."
"Why?"
"In hopes that we might discover the cause of this illness. Am I wrong in assuming that a sick werewolf is cause for concern?"
They both hesitated. Edward picked up their immediate confirmation, which came with a not-insignificant amount of worry and shifted slightly. He couldn't be sure if either or both had made a response with his back turned to the door, but Carlisle approached from the other side of the bed with syringe in hand.
Hold him steady if he gets agitated.
Edward nodded faintly, one leg sliding over the were's thighs while his hand left Jacob's forehead and settled on his shoulder. At the first touch of the needle, Jacob did stir, growling deeply, his fever-hazed eyes snapping open and flying over the room. Edward held the weakened wolf down easily and Carlisle quickly pulled out a vial of blood. Jacob's skin was already healing around the needle when Carlisle pulled it out.
Jacob's blood smelled pungent and earthy, with a sharp spiciness to it. Edward was surprised to find that it wasn't as unpleasant a smell as he would have expected, considering how the rest of the wolf smelled.
Jacob whimpered in his fitful sleep, unseeing eyes still wide and seeking. His body shifted minutely beneath Edward's. His thoughts were a tumultuous mess and Edward couldn't tell if he was trying to get away, or cuddle closer. He wasn't sure which would be better, given the circumstances.
Comfort him.
"You're kidding me..." Edward whispered harshly, but of course, he knew that Carlisle was not kidding.
He ran his hand awkwardly over Jacob's face, shifting enough to get his other arm beneath the bigger man's body. Jacob seemed to make up his mind then and reached up, wrapping Edward in an iron grip and dragging him tight to his chest.
Edward resigned himself to not breathing and closed his eyes, enduring the man's heat and closeness with as much grace as he could manage.
The light flicked off and their little audience reluctantly withdrew, though the door remained open.
"I'll be back in a few minutes to check on his temperature."
To keep from concentrating on the new predicament he found himself literally wrapped in, Edward very slowly counted to one hundred in every language he knew.
He was just getting to the nineties in Latvian when he sensed Carlisle's approach. The man entered the room silently and approached the bed as though wary of waking the occupants. Edward watched him silently from where he was still caught in Jacob's death grip.
Carlisle wedged the thermometer under Jacob's arm and they both waited for the little thing to beep.
One ten point three. You seem to have done the trick.
"Should I stay longer?" Edward whispered, almost dreading the answer.
No. We don't want to send his system into shock. The fever is broken...it should continue to go down from here. You can untangle yourself. Gently.
Edward rolled his eyes and went about the laborious process of extracting himself from Jacob's arms. The wolf whimpered and caught him twice when he'd almost succeeded in freeing himself. He was just considering being a little less gentle, but finally managed free himself by virtue of falling off the bed. He cussed quietly and heard a snigger from the hallway. Leah's loud and uncharitable thoughts hardly helped Edward's mood at all while he dressed and crept out of the room.
"I will run this blood and get the results back to you as soon as I can. I can come by tomorrow to check on Jacob as well." There was just enough pause in his voice to hint at a request, but the confidence there assured an easy agreement. Billy nodded slowly and Sam barely hesitated to take Carlisle's hand when the vampire offered it.
Thank you, the pack leader thought, but didn't say. Edward nodded to him as he passed.
XX~*~XX
"What mauled you?" Emmett lifted a brow, his nose wrinkling.
Edward shut the front door a little harder than was strictly necessary and stalked past him to the stairs.
"Seriously! Did you get attacked or something?"
The door opened again and Carlisle stepped through, setting his bag on the table in the entryway. Seeing that he wouldn't be getting an answer out of his brother, Emmett turned his attention to Carlisle.
"You smell too...not as bad though."
"Why thank you, Emmett." Carlisle chuckled as he crossed the room, going straight for his office.
"What happened?!"
"Calm down, Emmett. One of the Quileute boys just needed some medical attention."
Emmett's nose wrinkled again. "Did one of them attack Edward or something?"
The upstairs shower hissed to life and Carlisle tried to restrain his smile. "Edward was just helping Jacob break a fever."
"Huh?...Oh! Yuck!" Emmett shuddered impressively, looking towards the stairs with a mixture of sympathy and horror. Very quickly though, Carlisle knew that sympathy would turn to mischief. He almost regretted telling Emmett, but the last thing any of them needed was Emmett getting it into his head that his brother was in need of vengeance and attacking a wolf when they were so close to a real relationship with their neighbors.
"Go easy on him, Emmett."
"Yeah...sure." That mischievous glint had already appeared and he was contemplating the stairs with undue intensity.
Carlisle sighed and continued towards his office. Esme was waiting for him on the lounge and he smiled as he saw her, crossing the room to her open arms without thought.
"You made a house call to La Push?"
Carlisle made a sound of assent, laying his head in her lap. She ran her fingers over his face, ruffling his hair.
"Jacob is ill... I'm not sure with what, but it must be serious."
"For them to call you?" she wagered.
Carlisle laughed shortly. "For them to call anyone, but yes, especially me. I've got some blood samples to run... see if I can figure it out."
"Maybe you need to look into veterinary medicine," Esme joked.
He twisted slightly to look up at her. She had always been the most beautiful thing in the world to him, and amusement made her face glow. "I am worried about him... but maybe this will be the pathway to a real alliance between us. Stop this foolish bickering and dissolve that border."
"It would be nice," Esme agreed with a soft sigh. "I do so love it here, and we return so often."
"We won't be able to stay here much longer..." It was easy enough for the 'children' to leave for school, but people were going to start questioning why the good doctor still look like he was in his twenties. Esme at least could claim plastic surgery if push came to shove.
"Tomorrow will solve itself, my love."
It was their personal motto, and it never ceased to make Carlisle smile. He propped himself up and pulled her down for a long kiss. Even after all the decades, Carlisle never tired of touching her, never tired of her companionship. He mourned that Edward had lost that, but hopped Isabella's trick would help him heal sooner, even if it was a cruel thing in its own way.
XX~*~XX
Edward curled into the water and let it run over his body. He held no illusions that the water would wash away all of the mutt's scent, but it was making him feel marginally better. The water was hot enough to scald a human, but Edward barely felt the heat; how could he when Jacob had been so warm beneath him? Comparatively, the water was barely tepid.
He took a deep breath of the heavy, steamy air and held it, letting it spread its minute warmth through his chest. He finally released the air and sat heavily on the shower floor. He let the water continue running well after their custom hot water tank was exhausted. It wasn't until Rosalie started pounding on the door hours later that he finally hauled himself up and turned off the taps.
"You smell horrible, Edward. What were you doing in there?" Rosalie asked when he passed her in the hall. Her face was wrinkled in a way that still managed to be lovely.
Edward rolled his eyes and refused to answer.
"You better not have made the whole shower smell like that!" she called after him, but he was already around the corner and had no intention of going back.