"The Wolowitz Enigma…"
Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…
"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"
Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…
Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…
Part VI…
"So when do we have enough to go all 'rule the world' crazy…?" Penny grinned…Adjusting glasses while peering at herself in a blank monitor screen…
Ok…The motivation here is mad…And scientist…A little Sheldon, a little Amy at the lab…Maybe a little Amy going wild on girls' night?...Or better yet, some Charlotte?…Yeah, I sure could see her in the part of mad scientist threatening the world…Big climax at the UN with Sheldon in one hand and the antimatter thingy in the other…Tom Hanks playing Leonard…
Maybe I better never say it to Amy, but boy, playing her crazed sister would be the role of a lifetime…
"Well, if we had the trapping efficiency of some experiments, we could reasonably hope to corral 1% of the particles generated and at that rate we'd have enough to threaten to blow up the Vatican like in the movie in about…300 billion years, give or take…" Leonard, eyeing monitors… "As for powering the USS Enterprise, probably a leetle longer…"
"And of course you'd need a portable containment system…" Benton, behind them, grinned… "Which given the need to keep these things at almost literally absolute zero in an incredibly delicate magnetic field would make it difficult to pack it into a briefcase…But when Zephran Cochran shows up, I'm sure he'll come up with something…"
"Ok…Funny guys…" Penny grinned… "But this is still gonna let you compare the anti- and the regular, right?…And see if they're different in some special way?…And that's the big deal…?"
"In a perfect nutshell…" Benton nodded…
"Hmmn…So somewhere there's an anti-Penny?...Exactly like me but anti?...And we'd blow up if we met…?" she looked at them…
"Theoretically there could be…" Leonard nodded… "But, far more likely you'd encounter various slightly to dramatically different timeline normal matter Pennys before you'd meet anti-Penny, if she exists…"
"Then again you could all be figments of my sleeping but incredibly active six-year old imagination…" Sheldon's voice from reactivated phone…
Hi all…Amy waving, beaming, beside Sheldon, both up close to phone screen…Clearly the "husbandly comforting" having accomplished its objective…
"How's it going?..." she asked… "Apart from the descent into irrational speculation, that is…?"
"We held about 5000 particles for up to 10 seconds…" Leonard beamed… "Not bad for a first run…Raj is analyzing the spectral data with his group now…"
"And Father James didn't show up and gouge our eyes out to steal 'em…" Penny noted… "Just kidding…" she eyed Dr. Benton who grinned…
"Believe me James gets far worse from us…"
"Sorry if I seemed to jump to conclusions about him yesterday…I just found it such an odd coincidence…And I had watched the movie three times on the plane over…" Amy noted on screen…
"Speakin' of odd coincidences…" Penny eyed the image on the phone… "Nice nightie, by the way, girl friend…"
"My choice…"She grinned to Leonard who nodded to express proper admiration as Amy shyly beamed… "…when is sis due in?..."
"Tomorrow…And thanks again…" Amy, winsome smile… "I know your trusting her a little will mean a lot to her…"
"Sure…" Penny nodded…"Just as long as you submit to tests when she leaves so we'll know she hasn't replaced you or something…"
"Certainly…Considering we have some resemblance and she could always have done the 'Gattaca' thing with her legs in reverse…"
Eehew…Leonard blinked… "I'll explain it later…" he noted to a puzzled Penny…
"Little running joke they have with Amy's sister Charlotte…" he smiled a bit lamely at the equally puzzled Benton…
"Charlotte Fowler?..." Benton asked…
Oh, don't tell me…Might've known she'd tried scooping up some guys or some antimatter or both here before battling Amy…Leonard sighed…Feeble smile as Benton eyed him…
"Yeah, Dr. Charlotte Fowler…I take it you know her…?" As probably does every other male here…
"In fact Sheldon and I have a battery of infallible tests prepared…" Amy, nodding to Penny from the phone screen…
"Bazinga?..." Penny eyed her…
"No, that's for jokes, bestie…I love Charlotte and want to believe I can trust her but with Sheldon and the rest of you I take no unnecessary chances…Fortunately we already have complete genetic maps for the two of us for Sheldon to compare…"
"Yes…I met her while she was vacationing in Italy a couple of years ago and took our tour here…" Benton smiled to Leonard… "Very sweet lady…"
"Oh, yeah…" Leonard, feebly…
"We had DNA samples from the silverware she used at the wedding analyzed along with mine…" Amy explained to Penny…
"Really?..." Leonard stared…Probably not a bad idea at that…
"Back in a moment…" Benton, to Leonard… "I see I'm being perpetually emailed on a couple of administrative details…I'll need to step out to place a call…Wish you'd let me know how Cooper's phone is managing to get through to you?..."
"Nice…" Penny nodded to Amy's image…
"Little frequency manipulation…I'll get the details from Sheldon later…" Leonard explained to Benton…Who nodded and left the lab a moment later…
"Of course there's always the possibility that Charlotte replaced Amy a year or two ago and the one we encountered was an actress playing Charlotte to mislead us…" Leonard noted, grinning to Penny…
"Which possibility we ruled out by obtaining young Amy's dental records which we've checked…" Sheldon noted…To Penny's stare… "When dealing with an IQ of 189, even if a reformed supervillainess…One should take proper precautions…" shrug…
"Yeah…Crazy but I guess I see the point…" Penny shook her head… "But if this is Charlotte…" she grinned at Amy… "… and she's been with you from the start of things, then wouldn't the real Amy have to be…"
"Either dead, imprisoned, or so crazed she paradoxically took the role of Charlotte on and I'm playing along…Kinda makes ya wonder, eh…Bestie?..." Amy's image grinned…
"Oh…I hate paradoxes…" Leonard sighed… "I hate them when Sheldon goes on about alternate timeline Sheldons popping in and taking his place and spends the week trying to convince me he's alternate Sheldon to prove his point…And I hate 'em when Raj starts in about alternative Raj the smooth-talking ladies' man who still can't get the girl of his dreams…I don't even care about lactose-tolerant alternate Leonard and his loving, cuddling earth mother mother…"
"What…?" Amy's face staring off on screen… "Sheldon, I was only joking…You know I'm Amy…Sheldon, wait!...Excuse me, friends, I think I have to talk my husband out of the bathroom…Sheldon, I'll give you another blood sample if you like…" phone went blank…
"So tell me about this lactose-tolerant twin without neuroses…" Penny smiled at Leonard… "Is he taller…?"
"5000 particles for 10 seconds…Yep…A nice first run…" Howard, attempting to sound nonchalant…
"Very nice…A little above predicted expectation…So?...About my question…?" Angela eyed him…Fixing him with her brown eyes like one of his boyhood butterflies on a pin…
"I agree…We could go ahead and extend the deceleration cycle by an additional 30 seconds on the next run…I don't see a need to wait…"
"My other question, Howard..."
"Right…Uh…Hmmn…"
"Howard?..." Leonard came on the monitor in front of him…
Phew…Never thought I'd be so relieved to see that little hobbit's face…
"Yo…"
"Are you holding the magnetic field?...You can let the particles go now…Congrats on a great first test…"
"Thanks…" Hmmn?...He eyed the instrument panel… "Angela, I'm reading the fields decaying but not shutting down completely…"
"Must be getting stimulation from the decaying particles…" she noted…Reviewing her screen… "It's settling down but more slowly than we expected…"
"Wait…" Leonard's voice…His expression intent… "Yeah, I confirm that…Howard, the reaction is providing some degree of self-containment…"
"Is this…?" Penny eyed the returned Benton who nodded…
"Potentially, very…"
"Ok, 'degree of self-containment'…" she hastily wrote on her clipboard…
"Ok, the field is down, particles are annihilated…" Leonard reviewed his panel…
"Confirming that…" Angela…
"Very nice…A definite bottoming out…" Howard, eagerly… "We'll have to see just what happened, but interesting…"
"Ok, once you shut down and send the instrument logs to Raj, lets meet up there…" Leonard suggested…
"Sounds good…"
"Hofstadter out…" Leonard's face and Penny's behind him vanished from the screen as it went dark…
"Be neat if it's true…"Howard noted… "If it's natural for the particles at a certain critical number to provide their own supportive magnetic fluctuations as they encounter matter, a sort of protective repulsion…We might be able to incorporate that into our containment scheme…"
"Yes…And quite a thing if we can confirm it…"Angela eyed him… "But you still haven't answered my other question…" delicate hand on his slightly trembling hand…
Uh… He eyed her look…Just a touch of pleading…Feeling the scrap of paper she'd managed to slip dexterously into his palm…Her smile unfading…Slight seductive look to face likewise belying the pleading flash…
"Well, think about it…You know where my office is…" she pulled away…
Ummn… O…K…He kept his hand closed…
True we are still likely being monitored on an intermittent basis from observers and security…
And far more likely a beautiful, part-Jewish Catholic scientist of the female persuasion has some other need for me than rabid sexual desire…A need not wise to express where we could be monitored by anyone interested…
Right…As in…My cousin needs a green card?...How are job opportunities are Cal Tech these days?...He casually let his hand fall and carefully slipped the paper into his pocket…Angela busy reviewing the instrument shutdown protocol with another monitoring station…
Still nothing wrong with letting the guys know about this at our next all-male rendezvous…With suitable editing…
Dr. Benton having headed off to attend to other duties, Leonard swung his chair to eye Penny…
"So what do you think that was?..."
"Successful temporary containment of low-energy antihydrogen with variable magnetic moments?..." she asked, archly…
"You know what I mean…And yes, very good…" he grinned… "That Angela was putting the moves on Howard, don't you think…?"
"'You haven't answered my…Other question?'…" Penny quoting, putting hand gently on his… Leonard eyeing it…
She's a better actress than I ever realized…
"Well, duh, yeah…" Penny pulled back hand… "Though she was overdoing it a bit…And she must've known they'd be picked up on camera…"
"Well, there's a lot of monitoring here for safety and security, she's probably used to it…But do you think she actually…?"
"Howard's not unattractive when not being an ass…And he's been fairly un-assy lately…But come on…" Penny shook her head… "She's way outta his league…"
"Excuse me?..."
"I just mean…There's gotta be more at work here…Do they know each other?..."
"Not really…Calls and emails but he never mentioned any relationship with her…And I could point out, I'm outta your league…"
"Big time…" she nodded, grinning… "But I had to spend time with you, you living across the hallway and that gave you an edge…But that's what I mean…There'd have to be something for her to be that interested in Howard…I don't say it's impossible…Just, he'd need an edge…"
"Remind to remember our landlord and his children in my will for giving me 'an edge'…"
"Definitely…But that'll be our will…" she nodded…Grinning…
"Well…" Leonard pondered… "He is an American…And based at CalTech…That's gotta have some cachet…"
"And wasn't there something about him catching she was Jewish or part…?" Penny noted…
"You were paying attention…I didn't catch that…"
"She had some kind of Jewish symbol or something he recognized on her necklace…Anyway, that could be part of it…A nice Jewish boy from America with steady job?...Still…"
"You aren't gonna give him a hard time about this?..." Leonard, hesitant… "I know it's typical Howard and you like Bernadette and all, but it looked like it was Angela who did the…"
"Nah…I'll let him be…Like you say, he didn't actually initiate from what we could rudely spy…" she put up a hand… "Though this American angle worries me…Maybe she's a golddigger?..."
"Not Angela Christos…" Leonard shook head… "She could work anywhere and almost certainly makes a lot more than he does, even in Europe…Who knows, maybe she just does like him…"
"Hmmn…Maybe…Lets hope she's not crazy…He does seem to do it for crazy superintelligent brunettes almost as well as Sheldon…Tell me what he says when you meet him…I know he won't tell me…"
"What?...Violate the sacred confessional of males in cloister?..." Leonard grinned…
"In…?" she eyed him…Blinking…
"Guys hanging out together…When we herd, it's supposed to be zipped lips to our lady firiends…C'mon I know you must do the same thing with Bernie and Amy…"
"Oh…Well…It's strictly for his protection…Sides, your loyalties are now to me, not the herd…And if you promise to spill, I'll let you know more as to why I'm not on the phone telling him he's being a jerk, Bernadettewise…" shrewd look… "My loyalties now being to you, rather than my posse…" grin…
"Really…I never knew that came as part of the Fiancee Agreement…" he beamed… "But I know he and Bernie haven't fully patched things yet…"
"Yeah…But that's not all…" she smiled quietly…Just a touch of bittersweet sadness…
"Ok, I promise to spill when he gives it all away while trying to tell us a lot of crap about his new 'special lady'…What do you know…Bestie?..." he eyed her with grin…
"OK…But this is couple-only, in the vault, I swear I will break your ring of power finger if you talk, top secret…" she sighed…"I mean it, provisional fiancée…"
"Vaulted, forgotten on hearing…Spill, fiancée…"
"She and Raj…Maine…Blueberry patch…" hard stare…
"No…" he stared… "After she promised…?"
"I nearly stepped on them running from a bee…While I was keepin' an eye on Charlotte…"
"I can't believe it…What did she say?..."
"Believe it…I have the sting to prove it…And she said 'Oh…Penny…' after 'Oh…Rajesh…'…"
"Oh my God…But what does it mean?..."
Frown… "Leonard… C'mon…"
"Yeah, I got the sex part…But I mean…As far as she and Howard?...Did she say anything else?..."
"'Please don't tell Howard'…?"
"Oh, no…" he shook his head… "Why didn't you tell me?..."
"Wasn't in fiancée mode then…Girl friend loyalty took pres…And she asked me not to…But I wanted you to understand why I wasn't running over to yell at Howard just now…"
"Well, is she dumping him?...Raj swore to me it was over between him and her…"
"She said so, too…But it sure didn't look like it in Maine and it sure don't look like it now…At least at her end…I don't think the girl can make up her mind, Leonard…"
"Poor Howard…Does he know?..."
"She hasn't told him, if that's what you mean…As far as him knowing…Yeah, he knows…" Penny nodded… "Even pre-Bernie Howard would catch on and new and matured Howard knew before she did…"
"But he seemed to be giving it a chance…"
"New and matured, Leonard…Doing the kind, gentlemanly thing giving the lady the benefit of the doubt till she decides…Stranger things have happened in our little clan recently…If I may refer you to a certain self-absorbed genius who nearly died for love?..."
"Sheldon was pretty amazing…"
"Screw Cooper, I mean you…You were hanging on that building too…And Sheldon's heart wasn't the only one that nearly stopped then…" she smiled…Then put head against his arm… "And God…Don't you ever scare me like that again, unless you get that magic lantern or ring or whatever that makes it impossible for ten-story falls to hurt you…"
"If you two have finished supplying my wife…And me… With enough gossip to swear us off for the next year…" Sheldon's voice from the phone…
"I'd say we weren't listening but I'm married to George Washington here…" Amy's sigh…