Did some things you can't speak of
But at night you live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you seen what you know now then
After his encounter with Elena, Damon felt the guilt come over him in waves. Thinking back to all the things he had done, the things he will never talk about. Remembering the countless faces of all the innocent people he killed, even though he never had to. He could have stopped but he just absorbed every part of the demon in him, and unleashed it on those people who didn't deserve it.
Damon was lying in bed, letting the tears run tracks down his face. He was hit over and over with faces of the people who he murdered in cold blood. It never occurred to him but those men he killed, they were somebody's son, somebody's husband, somebody's everything. To this day there is someone coming undone.
The women who are now gone, they were mothers, and wives and daughters to people who truly cared about them. Those women that were mothers, their children must have felt exactly what Elena did when her parents drove off the bridge. The thought that he caused someone's distress like that nearly took the breath from his lungs. Damon was so tempted to just relieve it all, turn off his emotions, but he couldn't. He knew right now, letting down Elena was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
Yes, Damon realized he was turning into a sap, but yes, he knew she was worth it.
After everything he had done, he couldn't understand how it was possible someone as sweet, gentle and loving as Elena could care about someone like him?
Damon closed his eyes letting all the things he learned from Elena wash over him. If he only met her sooner. She changed him in ways no one thought possible. He felt human. He felt regret, and pain and heartbreak. If only they crossed paths before he murdered so many innocent people.
Yes, she may think she understands but she will never, ever understand how deep seeded his pain really is. He wish everything was just easier.
Sorry I couldn't update yesterday-work!
Hope you like this chapter. Next chapter is more memories for that verse.
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