The birds are chirping outside, all the warmth is trapped beneath the duvet, keeping him warm, and somewhere in the house someone is making pancakes. It was a dreamless sleep it seems, but he's happy and well rested. Eventually the sun makes its way to shine in through the small gap in the curtains, causing Phil to begin questioning just why his alarm hasn't gone off. He blinks a few times, opening his eyes, and then it hits him. This isn't his bedroom. These aren't his sheets, those aren't his curtains, those aren't his drawers – he's never seen any of these things before, with the exception of his little stuffed lion that's sitting on the bedside table. He scrambles from the bed, tangling himself up in the duvet and falling to the floor with a loud bang. Picking himself up, he shakes the duvet off and throws it back on the bed, turning around briefly and catching himself in the mirror – something's not right. He's… older. Why is he older?! Is this something to do with Mr Wilder?

He stops and takes another moment to examine himself in the mirror, according to his reflection, he seems to have aged well, however old he is, his hair is different but he guesses that it's more appropriate for his age. Scanning down his body in the mirror, there's more hair peppered on his chest and- oh god. He's naked.

"Phil, are you okay?! I heard a bang!" a male's voice calls from the doorway behind him, he turns around and looks the stranger right in the face, unsure of what exactly he's going to say to justify… well, anything. Except it's not a stranger.

"…Dan?" he breathes, completely forgetting to cover himself up,

"Yeah? Are you okay? You don't look well, baby," the brown haired man before him says as he takes a step forward toward him, "Do you feel alright?"

"Oh my god!" Phil shoots Dan a silent apology after once again realising how bare he is, immediately rushing to cover himself up, but Dan doesn't say anything about it, he just leisurely strolls over and runs his fingers through Phil's hair before pulling him in to kiss him gently.

"What's wrong?" Dan asks him with big doe eyes, "Are you feeling okay?"

"D-D-Dan?" Phil breathes again in disbelief. What on earth is going on?! Why is Dan kissing him?! Why would Dan want to kiss him?! Dan hates Phil, and Phil just really cannot stand Dan. "W-what are..?" Phil struggles to form a coherent sentence, "Why did you…"

"Okay, Phil, just sit down alright? Everything's okay…" Dan whispers, guiding Phil to sit on the edge of the bed, "Do you want me to call a doctor?"

"Where are we, and why are we here, and- what are… are we…?"

"Fuck…" Dan murmurs to himself before taking a moment to compose his thoughts. "Phil, we're in our bedroom, okay? This is our bed, we're at home. We live here. It's almost half eight in the morning, and it is Saturday. Do you remember, kitten?"

"Why are you calling me kitten, and why did you kiss me, and why am I naked, and why do we live together?" Phil blurts out suddenly, failing to take in much of what Dan's saying, he can take a not-so-wild guess, but right now his brain just isn't functioning.

"Phil, you're my boyfriend, remember? And I'm your boyfriend? We live together, and sleep together, and-"

"But you hate me!"

"What? No, baby, no… I don't hate you! Did I do something? I'm so sorry…" Dan answers, looking as if he's going to cry, "Phil, I love you so much, I thought you knew that…"

"You love me?" Phil queries, "And… we're together?"

"We have been for almost seven years now, you know that, Phil."

"How old are we?" Phil asks, and Dan bites his lip. He knows that something is wrong but he doesn't understand any of what's happening. He can't, for the life of him, figure out what could have happened for Phil to suddenly lose his memory like this.

"You're twenty-three and tomorrow I turn twenty-two… Phil, I think we need to get you to a doctor, alright? Clearly something is really wrong and it's scaring me…" Dan says, breaths shuddering between punctuation.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm fine. I don't need a doctor, okay? I'm just a bit, um, out of it. I promise I don't need a doctor."

"Please don't get mad at me for asking, but… you didn't…" Dan begins before he audibly clears his throat and continues with tears beginning to brim in his eyes, "You know… again? Because if you did then, I um, I understand but- you have to tell me, Phil, please..?"

Didn't do what again? What's Dan talking about? Phil lets the questions sit in his mind, but he refrains himself from asking, maybe he doesn't want to know.

"What didn't I do again and why do I have to tell you?" Phil asks, Dan just lets out a shaky breath.

"Phil, just stay here. Don't move, okay? I need to check something and then I'm calling the doctor. Don't get upset at me and don't argue," Dan explains as calmly as possible, "I love you and I'm so sorry about our fight last night, I just thought… I thought we sorted it out. Just stay put, I'll be right back."

Dan leaves the room, hesitantly, and Phil takes the opportunity to look around the room. Standing from the spot Dan had seated him on the bed and wandering across the room, he spots several different little things throughout the room that stand out to him. Of course there's his little stuffed lion, but there's also a framed photo of Dan standing with his arms around Phil, lips pressed against Phil's morning stubble. He's grinning happily in that picture, it's a contagious smile and Phil doesn't even notice when Dan walks back into the room.

"That's the day we got Susan," Dan breaks the quiet of the room with a breathy laugh and a gentle shake of his head, "What kind of a name is Susan for a dog anyway?" he chuckles.

"I think Susan is an excellent name for a dog," Phil says, turning to look at Dan properly, "Dan… do you remember high school?" he asks suddenly, "Because that's where my mind is at right now."

"Jesus… fuck. Well, as you can tell, things've changed a bit," Dan nervously chuckles, "Do you really not remember anything?"

Phil opens his mouth to answer, but suddenly Dan stops moving, and talking, and breathing. Everything is silent, time stopped completely. "Phil, you can't tell him the truth," Mr Wilder's voice comes from behind him, and he whips around to see the man standing in the doorway, "You need to let time run the course it's destined to. Tomorrow the Phil of the future is going to propose, you are now that Phil. The ring is in the cabinet under the laundry sink."

"Isn't 'Phil of the future' some old Disney show? Is this some kind of big joke to you? Why would I want to marry Dan?! Literally just today he made fun of me for not being straight and every single day of my life since I met him has been utter hell!" Phil argues, "Honestly, why should I? I should just do my future self a favour and dump him."

"Your future self loves him. Dan makes you happy in the future, together you make a great team and-" the old psychic begins, but Phil cuts him off.

"Dan just told me that we had a fight last night."

"Every couple fights," Wilder tells him, "Philip, just go along with what the day brings. Propose to him, you won't regret it," and with that the man is gone and time resumes.

"Phil?" Dan repeats, resting his hand on Phil's shoulder.

"I remember. It's all coming back," Phil lies, "I promise I'm okay."

"Are you sure, love?" Dan asks, eyes brimming with concern, and Phil smiles as he nods, doing his best not to recoil when the brown haired man pulls him into a tight hug, kissing him gently before loosening his embrace and pulling away. "I love you so much, Phil… Please, will you just promise me that if you start using again, even if it's a one-time thing, you'll tell me? Please," Dan sighs, "I just want you to be okay, I just want what's best for you…"

Using? Using?! Using WHAT?! Phil's never touched drugs in his life, and he certainly does NOT intend to start. Ever.

"Just, hypothetically…" Phil hesitates to ask, "What do you suspect I've been using?"

"Oh my god, Phil… You have, haven't you?" Dan breathes, "Don't make me play guessing games, just tell me what it was this time. Was it diazepam, lorazepam, Xanax, or was it something stronger? It's something stronger, isn't it? Please tell me it's not something illegal, or- no, it's already illegal, just tell me that it's not something illicit or overly dangerous…"

He crumbles. Tears falling from Phil's eyes, fear shooting through his veins, blood rushing through his ears, Phil just can't help but fall apart. He is, or was, a good kid! He seldom does the slightest thing wrong, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink at parties, and he's never taken any drugs in his life with the exception of when he needed to and had them properly prescribed by a doctor – where could the drug use have come from? Does this mean he's been using things like heroin? Is that what Dan means by illicit and dangerous, or has it always just been the abuse of anxiety and anti-depressant prescription medications? Is that a thing people can even get addicted to? Is his future-self dependent on them? How could this have happened? WHEN could this have happened?

He needs answers and he needs them now, but suddenly he's hyperventilating and he doesn't know why. He's never hyperventilated before, he's never felt like this before in his life. Dan is blurred by tears, Phil's heart feels like it's about to leap from his chest, there's a shot of pain through his head, and without warning he falls onto his hands and knees on the ground, the cream coloured carpet the only thing preventing him from being hurt.

"Phil, it's okay." Dan says softly, but where did he even come from? Dan places his hand on Phil's back, rubbing it soothingly from his lower back to his right shoulder blade, "Everything is alright, I'm sorry, baby… I promise that it's all okay, but you need to tell me if you've taken anything so that I know how to help."

"I-I… haven't t-taken… anything…" Phil manages to get out as he gasps for breath,

"Alright," Dan nods even though the coal-haired man can't see him, "You're okay, Phil, just take deep breaths. Follow my breathing, okay?" Dan pulls Phil upright and takes hold of his hands, making eye contact and sucking in a deep breath, "In…" he inhales and Phil copies, "And out…" Dan speaks calmly as he exhales.

It takes a few minutes, but soon Phil doesn't feel so deprived of oxygen, though his mouth is dry and his head hurts. He can tell that his face is red and puffy but right now he doesn't care. The worst thing that could happen is that Dan realises how ugly he is after he cries and then breaks up with him, either way, Phil's not too fussed.

"You're okay, kitten," Dan gives a shy half-smile as he sits cross-legged on the bedroom floor and hands Phil a glass of water and two white pills. "It's just paracetamol," he says when Phil finds himself reluctant to take them, "You know I'm not an enabler," Dan chuckles as Phil swallows the painkillers, "I love you, and I'm never going to use your habits against you, but you know that I'm never going to encourage it or supply you with anything other than ways to help you."

"What just happened?" Phil asks in timid voice, why isn't Dan freaking out? What if Phil's had a heart attack or something and Dan's solution was to give him paracetamol? Dan's not that dumb… right?

"It was just an anxiety attack, just like you've had before."

I've had them before?" Phil asks without thinking, but instantly he realises that he can't let Dan know that there's something really wrong here, "I mean, yeah, I've had them before, that one was just…"

"Really bad? I could tell, honey. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out… Your anxiety has been pretty good lately, don't you think though? Like, just now, I had almost completely forgotten about it," Dan explains, "The past few weeks have been so good for you."

"Yeah…" Phil mumbles,

"I love you, baby," Dan smiles weakly and pulls Phil into an embrace, it's nice. He feels safe, and warm, and comfortable in Dan's arms, which is honestly something he never thought he'd think.

"You're incredible," murmurs Phil in disbelief, he had never imagined Dan being like this, caring about him and wanting to help him, loving him in spite of his problems. "I don't get why you do though, I just… I don't understand…"

"Because, Phil," Dan smiles, pushing sweat-dampened hair from Phil's eyes as he maneuvers himself to sit beside his blue eyed lover and wrap an arm around him, "You're amazing. You care about people, you… you cared about me even when I was horrible to you. It's like, looking back, you've always understood me. You're absolutely gorgeous, Philip Lester, you're loving and gentle, but you're also really fucking hot, and-"

"Okay, okay!" Phil laughs with a grin, shaking his head and moving closer into Dan's arms. "Thank you," he whispers and looks into Dan's eyes, "I'll get whatever help you think I need, Dan. I trust you better than I trust myself right now."

Staring into Phil's eyes, Dan can tell that he means it. He nods and quickly pecks Phil's lips, running his hand down Phil's arm, "We can talk about it next week and we'll sort it all out," he tells Phil.

"Next week?"

"Yeah, we have plans for dinner tonight, remember? Oh, and then my dad's coming with my step-mum tomorrow for my birthday… I didn't tell you this before, but um, I invited your dad and brother, I thought that maybe it would be nice to have them here… it's been a while, and we've only seen your dad twice since the funeral. It's been just over a year, and I know it's been rough for you, baby, but you're really recovering now and I think it might be good for you to see everyone again. I'm sure he misses you a lot, Phil. You and your brother are all he has left now that-"

"Dan…" Phil whimpers, "Please stop talking," he shakes his head, "Please stop, don't say any… any more, I just- I can't- I can't hear it…"

"Phil, you've been weird all day, are you alright? Has something else happened that's causing all of this, because I really don't understand? I thought that we sorted everything out after our fight last night, and you know… we had sex like normal, so I assumed you were fine… but, have I d-done something wrong? I'm really confused, and you're upset, and I'm trying not to cry but it's really hard, Phil…" Dan squeaks.

"I'm just… I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now."