Disclaimer: I don't own Spyro.

The curtains rise to reveal everyone onstage.

"Ha!" Ishira cheers. "No mics!"

"Let's get started right away," Isildur says.

"First off…welcome to this week's episode of Spyro: Truth And Dare To The Max!" Ishira shouts.

"First up from Traveling Master: Spyro, why do you conveniently do a powerful move at the end of each game when you could have ended it all so much sooner? Kiro asks.

"Because the ladies love it," Spyro winks and his fangirls faint. Everyone's eyes roll.

"Okay dear," Ishira says as Teddy and Vampire stroll in, Teddy with a random lollipop.

"I BOUGHT IT!" Teddy shouts as Sparkles charges out.

"Hey Teddy, what's it like to be powerless for a month?" Isildur asks, dodging a firework set off by Cyril. Teddy goes to the emo corner and cries.

"Orku!" Kiro calls for his brother, who appears and winks at Ishira. She joins Teddy in the emo corner. Isildur ambushes Orku and straps him down to a stell chair. Kiro grabs Ishira's remote and poofs Orku into a room full of hot dragonesses. The video plays onscreen; Orku;'s going absolutely insane. Meanwhile, Sparkles randomly stabs Malefor and he turns varied shades of pink.

"Rainbows and unicorns!" the (now pink) evil dragon cheers happily.

"Why do I feel fatherly?" Cyril asks.

"Ancestors, I'm so much less of a complainer than you! I actually accept that path my ancestors have laid out for—mph!" Ignitus covers his own mouth.

"Goodness gracious, how stunning, shocking, outrageous—"

"Terrador shut up!" Volteer cuts him off.

"What the hell?" Hunter drops. "NOT AGAIN!"

"You switched personalities," Ishira (now out of the emo corner) explains.

Spyro suddenly turns into a (slightly unattractive) dragoness and Cynder into a very buff male dragon.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MAKE ME BUFF?" Spyro cries.

"Estrogen," is Cynder's response.

Meanwhile, Ember is drooling over male Cynder and Flame over female Spyro.

"Hey guys, I'm Rein!" in walks a 6 foot tall dragoon (humanoid dragon) with gray scales and a black underbelly, a ten foot wingspan, and a scarf.

"Neat scarf," Sparx touches it. Rein slowly tears him apart until he is in teeny tiny pieces.

"I like him!" Vampire says immediately.

"Oh hand on a second…that's Omega Rein. We want Alpha Rein," Kiro says. Ishira swipes the remote back and presses a button as Terrador accidentally teleports himself to Greece. A claw pops up from the floor and pinches the underside of Rein's tail at the base. His scales turn orange and his underbelly red. He shies away from the crowd.

"Heheh…sorry."

"Dammit! Now I don't like him anymore!" Vampire shouts, whipping out a bazooka and blowing Hunter (back from hell) to bits.

"Yes everyone, that claw will operate randomly, so be alert!" Ishira says cheerfully.

"Yeah…um, Spyrofan777 sent me with some dares…"

"Well shoot man!" Isildur exclaims. Rein becomes Omega Rein.

"Cynder, eat Spyro!" he laughs maniacally as she…he wolfs him…her down. Ishira revives the now slightly unattractive dragoness. "Cynder and Ember, go into the closet with Spyro!" Ember grabs the paw of buff Cynder, and she…he pulls Spyro along, too. "Malefor, repeatedly hit ypur head on the closet door while they're in there!"

"Rainbows and unicorns!" he says happily as he goes to oblige.

"Now from a gu-er, I mean dragon boy. Please repeatedly identify yourself, thanks," Kiro gives a special shout-out.

A dragon who looks like Spyro but with black not yellow drops from the ceiling.

"Malefor…I am your son."

"Okay!" he replies happily between bangs.

"No seriously. My name's Malafax."

"Okay!"

"Um…what've you got, Malafax?" Rein asks.

"Make Dark Spyro and Cynder, and make them fight the originals," the three dragons emerge from the closet, and Dark Cynder and Spyro are recreated. The four are poofed off to two separate arenas via the remote. At first they fight, then they start making out. They're poofed back, back to normal for the impact of the next segment.

"From our first Guest: Spryo, do you like Ember or Cynder more?" Rein asks, sounding a bit curious himself.

"Cynder," Ember dies from horror. Ishira refuses to revive her. Spyro returns to (rather unattractive) dragoness form—

"You can just call me a dragoness!"

—and Cynder to her buff male form.

"Cyril, insult yourself in front of our audience of 500,000 people," Kiro orders. Cyril gulps.

"I…I'm…I'm an ugly fat poser," everyone bursts out laughing.

"No offense to ugly fat posers," Ishira says quickly.

"Ignitus, if you could kill anybody—excluding Malefor, Kiro, Ishira, Isildur, Teddy, or Vampire—who would it be?" Malafax asks. Ignitus thinks.

"Either…Ember because she's annoying…Flame because he's an idiot…" Flame is picking his nose again, "…that camera dragon who keeps staring at me…or you because you're Malefor's son. I'm going with Flame, because I don't even want to guess at the IQ of his future children."

"DQ!" Flame cheers, sticking his finger in his mouth.

"And how would you kill him?" Malafax asks.

"…Hey Flame! Something shiny!" Ignitus points at a suspicious pit that has opened at Hunter's feet. Flame dives in without a second thought…or a first thought.

"Ember, go all week without so much as looking at…Spyro?" Rein's statement becomes a question. Ember is drooling over male Cynder.

"Who's Spyro?" she asks dreamily. Rein faints.

"Sparx, eat off your own wings!" he orders as he's revived as Omega Rein.

"He's back!" Vampire glomps him.

Terrador returns from Greece.

"Clean the men's bathroom silently using your toothbrush while listening to Sparx talk—now!" Ishira screams. Time speeds up, and Terrador is forced to brush his teeth.

"We're outta time; the two undone dares (yes we kept track) will spill over into next week!" Kiro promises.

"Oh wait here's one more from dragon boy that we've just GOTTA do: everyone PARTY YOUR BUTTS OFF!" Teddy cheers, crawling out of the emo corner. Music starts blaring.

"I'm Kiro!"

"I'm Ishira!"

"I'm Isildur!"

"I'm Rein!"

"I'm Malafax!"

"I'm Teddy!"

"I'm Vampire!"

"And this has been…"

"Spyro: Truth And Dare To The Max!"

"WOOHOO!" Ishira cheers.