State of Denial
Chapter Four: One Night, Two People
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A lot had change over the years
For instance, years before if someone said that he would be sitting in the dark wearing a tux, waiting for a girl, he would've laughed in that person's face, but since he wasn't the laughing kind, he would probably glare the person to silence, and/or burn him to a crisp.
But here he is, doing exactly that.
Nevermind that he had neglected the ebony short jacket and that it was dangling above his head on the tip of the tree branch, or that the white silk tie he was supposed to be wearing was loosely hanging on his neck.
But then again, a few years go, there were no big amber eyes that smile at him, dazzle him and make him do things he'd rather not.
Like accompanying a stupid girl to pick out a stupid dress.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Maybe next time he goes to a mission, he should tell this little story and his opponents will just die laughing so he can take a break.
Bafflement shifted over his face but quickly replaced by frustration.
It wasn't as if he liked her or anything.
Granted, she's got guts, he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders, and yeah, she was damn loyal, those were qualities that he admires in anybody.
Even the damn Sumire girl.
Which is probably why those girls are still alive to annoy him another day.
It was no contest though, Mikan Sakura is the heavy weight champion of his life's annoyances. Sometimes the sight of her opening her big fat mouth rubbed on his nerves like nothing else ever could, even the image of her bouncing pony tail was a constant irritation, mainly because, he would never admit it even to himself, his first reaction on seeing it was to crack a smile.
And he never smiles at girls, unless it was to sneer…nope, no, he doesn't smile. Ever.
Absently rubbing his bruised shoulder, he remembered how she fuss and coo at him, though that didn't stop her from yapping his ear off with lectures upon personal safety and all that.
Natsume rolled his eyes.
The fact that he was injured also didn't stop her from hunting him down and dragging him to Central Town.
Damn nuisance.
His eyes shifted to the open area before him. And where is she now?
Natsume continued to brood in silence, the fact that he didn't burn even so much as a fluttery handkerchief or those satin flowers that hung on those stupid fluffy curtains spoke loads about his self restraint.
Persona would be so proud.
Course then, the bastard would have something else to say about why he was there in the first place.
The sneer came and went on Natsume's face.
That's it, five more minutes ad I'll drag her out of her room if I have to. It was either that or spend half the night dodging Hotaru's well aimed Baka Gun or meeting Ruka's why-did-you-kick-my-puppy look. Feeling better with the promise of an altercation, Natsume made a move to stand only to sit down again when a flash of white caught his eyes.
"Natsume." Mikan bundled over to him in a concoction of white lace that fell in waves from her bosom to her ankles. He was right, she did pick something made out of fluttery lace, but it didn't make her look like a cake or a Scarlet O Hara wannabe, instead she looked feminine. Delicate.
It left her arms ad shoulders bare, a long pale color that the long slim lies of her body without being confining. A trick of light made the layer that covered her breasts and the big bow at her back change colors like gossamer wigs.
Her caramel hair cascaded over her shoulder, down her back in big soft waves. The warm tone of each strand contrasted beautifully with the cool color of her dress and complimented the bright shine of her amber eyes.
Natsume's hands twitched, the tip of his fingers tingled as if it was one big nerve.
He closed his mouth and schooled his features to a scowl as he shoved his itching hands into his pockets.
"Why are you hiding? I've been looking all over for you."
Natsume would've slash at her with the sharp edge of his tongue but he was too distracted by the sound of sharp clicks that came from her feet and as his mind buzzed over why that was important enough for him investigate, he noticed that her toes were painted pink.
"Natsume. You're not listening."
Confused, he dragged his eyes along her legs and up, up until he was looking at her face. It didn't help.
Her already bright eyes were deeper, darker, and bigger; her cheeks were rosy pink with excitement and eagerness. His eyes dropped to her mouth when it moved; her lips were moist, plump and full.
She gathered her skirt in her hands and twirled in the muted light.
His breath caught in his throat as the long tail of her dress grazed over his left cheek, her light scent washed over him filled the dark while he watched the material of her dress caressed the air and reflected moonlight in a beguiling dance of sights and scents.
Hormones, Natsume gritted his teeth when his heart tried to crawl out of his throat, was just another of God's gift for little boys to remind them who was boss.
He tried so hard to block her out and settle himself that he jolted when she leaned her face to him, tickling his face with the edges of her fragrant hair. She waved a hand in front of his face and laughed when he narrowed his eyes, threateningly.
"Natsume, I asked you a question." She bunched her skirt in her fists. "What do you think?"
Natsume's eyes followed the hitch of her skirt revealing the satin ribbons of her heels that she tied in a criss-cross pattern up to her knees.
Those legs stomped in frustration.
"Natsume. Pay attention."
He yanked on his tie, suddenly hot and itchy.
"What do you want, ojou? I came, didn't I?"
She rolled her big amber eyes.
The ripples of sensation that shot through his spine made him look away. He needed a psych evaluation. Fast. His eyes checked out too.
"So?"
"So what?"
"The dress, Natsume. What do you think of the dress?"
Her exasperated tone helped him composed himself, he shrugged. "It's a dress." His lips curved into a smirk as he eyed her bare shoulders and arms. "Well, half of it, anyway."
The dig found its mark and she pouted at him but as usual, it didn't last long. A second later, she smiled at him; softly, fondly.
It gave him the jitters.
"What?" He barked out sullenly but the smile only grew wider.
"Thank you, Natsume for going with me and being so patient. It meant a lot to me."
He frowned and fought not to squirmed under her warm stare. "Whatever."
She clapped her hands in delight. "I've finally figured out what to give you."
He quirked an eyebrow. "Give me?"
"Yes, as a thank you."
He stared at the had that she held out to him, she was always giving him things, little thing; the last of her Hawalons, a candy bar, half of her dessert, an illustrated story book, a snow globe of a Sakura Tree, simple things, so when he saw her hand empty, he lifted his eyes to her face, questioning.
She rolled her eyes and grabbed at his hand, pulling him until he stood in front of her. She put his right hand on her waist, held the left with hers and beamed at him. "I'm going to give you my first dance."
"First dance?" He repeated with a bland tone, unimpressed with her generosity.
"Yeah." She frowned. "A first dance is very important because it sets the mood. If I started badly, it will only get worse from there."
Oh.
He sneered just for the hell of it. "That's stupid."
"No, that's logical." She bantered while she shifted her feet."
"Ojou, the man is supposed to lead."
"Move your feet, then."
"If you keep being so bossy, no boy is going to like you."
"If he doesn't like me just the way I am, than I wouldn't like him either."
Those words brought his eyes to her face, absently noticing that the band had started a new song.
"What?" He asked when she out of the blue she smiled at him, they swayed softly in the shimmering light thread with shadows.
"This is nice."
Natsume spread his gaze, trying to find what she was referring to. The night was fragrant with damp earth, flowers and the promise of heavy rain that came and went with the wind as it sighed and sang in his ears. The darkness was soothing rather than threatening, the moon was a pale smile in the dark sky among a scatter of winking lights.
The air was thrumming with the hum of conversations, muted laughter and the chimes of tinkling glass and music. The warm glow of the centre bonfire sheared through the tree barks, chasing away the elusive dark.
It shouldn't surprise him really, the different of how they look at things, after all, they were two very different people that came from two very different back grounds, but it always did.
Maybe it was because somehow she seem to fit, how easy it was for her to integrate herself into their lives, to him it seemed like one day she wasn't there and then the next day, he open his eyes ad there she was.
Nowadays, it seemed like everywhere he turned she was there, popping out I the strangest of places, in the strangest of times, welcomes or not.
It baffled him that some tie it felt so natural for her to be there like she had always been there all along but other time like today, he realized that, no, it was simply fate dealing him hand.
He hadn't made up his mind whether it was good or bad, yet.
He blinked when their eyes met and she smiled that soft smile that wasn't one of her best, wasn't one of her brightest or widest, but, if he was honest to himself, it was his favorite because he noticed that she smile that way only when she was with him and he'd long thought of that smile as his.
It freaked him out sometimes how damn 'nice' she is, granted, she isn't the most beautiful or smart or talented girl in the academy. Her only apparent talent seemed to be that she was a Houdini at slipping in and out of tight spots while dragging everyone that she knew along with her.
Kami knows, he had pulled her out of enough troubles to last a lifetime.
It wasn't as if she was particularly naïve, he blamed it all on her upbringing. She was brought up in a society where adults take care of you, where teachers guide and believed in you and where friends are your second family.
Of course, Natsume admitted, she had all of that even now.
When everybody else bend or break under the academy, she seemed to be able to make the academy adapt to her.
You have to admire it.
Natsume's hand clenched at her waist when she laid her head of his shoulder, tucking her face at the curve of his neck in a trusting, affectionate gesture.
Damn her, he though even as he spread his fingers on her back, drawing her closer, he became dependant on her being there, on that trust, on those eyes that look at him and managed to find something worthwhile.
As he trailed the edges of her hair, he thought that he'd always known that something was missing from him, in him, that somehow he was born lacking as a human being. How else would he have survived the years with his sanity more or else, intact?
But he had Ruka who will always be his better half.
And now he has her.
An emotion, impossibly sweet, surprisingly tender washed over him when he felt her body relaxed against him, her sigh warm against his neck and the weight of his shoulder was a comfort more than a burden.
She was his conscience, yet ironically, she was also his greatest weakness, one he would move heaven and Earth to get to; lie, cheat, kill, not because she's his friend, or because she's his responsibility or because of his…attachment to her, but because she was and is one of the few good things in his life…and that, in Natsume's book, is always worth fighting for.
He sensed her smile and without giving it much thought, rubbed his cheek on the top of her fragrant head.
Both of his hands had made its way to her back, embracing her while both of hers were around his waist. They held each other among the silver tipped trees, swaying slightly, lost in their own corner of the world.
Yeah, Natsume closed his eyes and for once stop thinking and just feel. This is nice.